Guys, I really won't lie. I had a tear or two while writing this. And I really like it.
Do you? :D
Merlin referred to it as Lake Avalon, and he supposed that might be its actual name. It housed the city of Avalon, which he'd seen for himself a few times, and it certainly was a sight to behold; it's where he had taken Excalibur, and the powerful sword now rested at the bottom of its murky waters. And possibly the most painful memory for Merlin - some days it felt as if the wound were still freshly open, and every time he sat at the lake's edge, that wound would grow a little deeper. But since Analise's return, he found himself remembering less and less of Freya; less of the soft feel of her skin, less of her ever grateful smile, less of her kind, welcoming eyes. And that made Merlin exceedingly guilty, how he could just forget the way he felt around her and about her, but he couldn't feel too guilty often. He knew Analise stole his heart; Freya had held it for him during a time he missed her most.
Two years seemed like a painfully long time for someone who never had the choice to openly mourn.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," he said to the empty clearing. After moments of silence, he continued, "I don't know how to help her. I feel like a can't."
"Follow your instincts," a soft voice from behind him said. He had company. "That's always worked well for you before."
He turned his heard and leapt to his feet in surprise.
"You know what's right," she continued, walking closer to him. "You just can't find it yet."
"You sound like Kilgharrah."
She chuckled, and the emotions broke free of the dam he built around them. "I suppose I do," she said.
"Do you know what I'm supposed to do?"
"No. I don't quite have all the answers."
Finally, she stood next to him and took his hand; hers was icy cold, but Merlin hardly noticed.
"I will help you, though."
"What? How?"
"Don't think I've forgotten everything you've done for me. Now is my time to repay you."
"How could you possibly..." he couldn't say much else.
"I'll figure a way, I'm sure. I'm here now, aren't I?"
He couldn't deny the truth.
"I'm just so lost. I don't know where to go from here," Merlin confided, turning to look at his companion, who stared out across the lake. She looked longingly at it, an odd type of majestic smile on her face.
"You absolutely do. I'm sure you know the way to fix it. That spell you've been practicing. Why haven't you tried it yet?"
"How do you know about that?"
"I've been watching over you. I did promise to repay you, and I always keep true to my promises."
"You don't have to do this."
"Just as you didn't have to do anything for me. However, I want to, just as you did. I can tell you really care about her."
More pangs of guilt hit Merlin directly to the heart.
"What about you?"
"Don't worry about me, Merlin. I'm not really alive."
Finally turning to look at him, her warm smile graced him once more, and in an instant, he lost the feeling of her hand in his. She was gone, and Merlin felt like breaking down to cry once again. Maybe she had just been a manifestation of his over-stressed subconscious, telling him what he wanted to hear, but words weren't going to do him much good unless they became actions that could help Analise. Maybe she was right, he should try that spell.
He looked out to the lake, and smiled, tears streaming down his cheeks; it wasn't all painful memories.