THE DETECTIVE AND ME
CHAPTER FIVE
I'd Kill For You
I looked out at the street from my bedroom window on the second floor. The streetlights illuminating the young couple returning from a night out as they went into their house. I'd been living with W in this townhouse in the city for about two weeks now, and although it was just as nice as the manor, and even more lively being in the city, I missed him.
There was a gentle knock at my door before W entered, "Are you alright?"
I nodded. W and I hadn't spoken much since we moved. I wasn't upset with him, things just felt slightly different now. W cautiously came into my room and sat down at the foot of my bed.
"Leah." He begun in his gentle tone, "You don't seem to be adjusting well? Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"
I shrugged, "It's okay. It's nice here. What more do you expect from me?"
W went still.
I turned away, the painful realization setting in, "You and L have been kind to me I guess, but for what? You took me from my life, you kept me in the dark, and now I'm having my whole life run for me by two strangers."
"Your life is in danger."
"So? Why does he feel responsible for my life?"
W shifted in his seat, "I told you before, with the killer back in England he could be coming after you—"
I got up from my bed and walked across the room, "So what? Am I bait or a charity case?"
W sighed, "I understand how you're feeling. But I can't let you go back to your life; L won't let you."
"Why not?"
"I'm sure you know by now; his job is personal to him. He does what he does not just to bring terrible men to justice, but to protect innocent people like you. And he's just as scared as you."
"I'm not scared."
"You should be."
Since we'd move to the city once a day I could go for a walk around the neighborhood with Angela. She enjoyed it as much as I did. But today, as she excitedly walked beside me, I didn't feel as relieved as usual to get out the house. As we rounded the block for a fifth time, I stopped at the corner leading into our street. Angela stumbled back as the leash stopped her in her tracks. My heart pounded against my chest as I looked in the opposite direction of where I had to be. Angela barked and jumped around my legs as I considered something unthinkable. I took one more look back down the street and turned the other way, I quickly wrapped Angela's leash around a streetlamp, and started for a completely new destination. She barked after me as I ran, but I knew she'd be found safe by one of the families on our street and they knew exactly what house she had to be returned to.
Completely unsure of what had come over me, I continued without stopping, following the signs to the nearest train station. When I got there, I used the little money I had to buy a ticket to the opposite side of the city. Very quickly, the affluent surroundings changed into the familiar grime of my life before him. I don't know why I was running, I just felt like I had to. After some time, the train stopped where I needed to get off, and when I stepped off the train, the atmosphere was the familiar one I hadn't felt in months. Like muscle memory, I left the station and went out into the street, immediately knowing where I was. I walked until I was on a commercial street, the sun beginning to set as the daytime shops were closing.
Right across the street, I watched the staff of Urban Day Café go through closing. I was choked up as I saw the blonde Biddy overturning chairs. She was smiling and talking to the other waiters and floor staff. I crossed the street, wanting to talk to her, wanting to go back to my life before. But then, a tall figure came into view as he swept the dirt from under Biddy's feet, and I froze…
He was smiling too…happy. The tears streamed down my face, and I couldn't move. His green eyes met mine and his face fell. I gasped and turned to run. I heard the familiar ring of the café door open and hard footsteps following behind me.
"Leah!" he called out after me.
I ran, panicked, I ran and ran until my chest burned. When I turned the corner, I bumped into a man and he cursed me out as we fell to the floor. Quickly I shot up and looked behind me and I saw him closing in on me.
"Leah wait!" he came barreling toward me and my feet were moving again. I ran all the way to the promenade that overlooked the ocean when I came to a stop. I couldn't breathe as I clung onto the railing, the sharp ocean air making me sick. A strong hand grabbed my shoulder, and I jumped back.
"Please, no!" I pleaded, beginning to sob. Jethro had me pinned against the railing stopping me from escaping.
"Leah wait, wait…" He started out of breath, forcibly stopping me from pushing him off, "I just want to talk to you—"
"Get off me!" I screamed as I kicked him in the shin, he doubled over and I freed myself from him, but felt his hand roughly grab my wrist and pull me back.
"Where've you been? We've been worried sick!" He frantically questioned me, tightly holding me to him, "Please just listen to me, I've been worried about you. I just want to talk—"
"You raped me!" I yelled through sobbing and felt the harsh sting of his hand slapping me through the face. I stumbled and hit the floor, silenced by the shock of being hit.
"Fuck!" He spat out, "Leah why'd you say that! Fuck, I'm so sorry…" I got down to my level and tried to touch my face, but I pushed him off, "I'm sorry, it's just you're going to get me into trouble!" he looked around to see if I'd attracted any attention to us, but unfortunately, we were alone. "Can we just talk?"
I went silent, the tears streaming down my face as I held my burning cheek. Jethro helped me up onto the bench and sat next to me.
He sighed, "You know I didn't mean for—I mean we'd been flirting for weeks, you knew something was going to happen. I thought you liked it—I thought you liked that sort of thing. I mean, you told Biddy about all your ex-boyfriends at the type of stuff you were into—I didn't think for one second, you'd react the way you did."
I clutched my arms tightly, "We were friends."
"I know. And I loved you—I still do. Just please don't take what happened and think that that's me because it's not. We had a thing going—please just come back and I can fix things."
I crumbled into my hands, clutching my head as I began to sob violently. Jethro put his arm around me and tried to pull me into an embrace, but I pushed him off and started hitting him.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed as I continued to hit him.
"Leah—Leah stop…" he begged, "Leah, stop!" he grabbed my hands and pulled my up from the bench, "Stop!"
I went still as I saw the look in his eyes, submitting to his threat of violence.
"You're a fucking bitch." He spat out coldly, "You lead me on and now you're acting like the fucking victim after you changed your mind. But you don't get to just decide what happened. You chose to come home with me that night."
My heart sank into my stomach, completely disgusted. I couldn't fight him, I couldn't get away, and I was terrified.
Jethro's grip tightened around me, and he sighed, "You're still just as pretty as I remember though. We can work things out if you just give me a chance. I haven't forgotten about you, and I know you haven't forgotten about me. So, what if we fight a little bit? We can still work this out, hmm?"
I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to hurt him, but I was frozen. He reached up to brush my hair out of my face and my stomach turned in disgust, before I could think of what to do, I heard sharp barking pierce the silence. Jethro loosened his hold, and I stepped back as I saw the white pup scamper toward me.
"Angela?" I gasped and bent down to pick her up.
"Who the fuck are you?" Jethro spat out into the dark, and I followed his line of sight to see the man standing only ten steps away from us.
He looked at me, his jaw clenched, and gestured with his hand for me to come to him. I didn't waste any time. I ran into his arms, relief washing over me as he wrapped his coat around my shivering body.
"Hey man, it's not what you think." Jethro protested at the sight, "We're friends, I was taking her home."
L tensed up and whispered calmly to me, "Wait here." He took his coat off and wrapped around me and Angela and turned to Jethro. The way he strode toward the vile man before us, it sent a shiver down my spine, he was enraged and completely overtaken by something primal. Jethro thew his hands up in defense, but before either could exchange words, L reached behind him to pull something from his belt and my body went cold—
"L, don't!" I yelled at the sight of the gun, but instead of a gunshot, I heard the blunt impact of metal to bone as L repeatedly struck Jethro until he had him cowering on the floor. The sight of blood didn't deter him though, as L grabbed ahold of Jethro's shirt to keep him upright as he bashed him in the face until the harsh cracking of bone breaking finally set him at ease. Jethro's nose was bashed in and gushing blood as he fell limp on the floor. L stood over his unconscious body and ran a bloodied hand through his disheveled hair. He turned and walked back to me, wrapping the bloody gun in a white cloth.
"Take this." He gave it to me, still breathless from the assault, and took out his phone to dial an ambulance, "A man's just been attacked across the parking lot of the Promenade Shopping Centre,"
He hung up without further word and looked down at his feet in deep thought, I slowly reached up and touched his cheek, "It's okay." I whispered and he nodded.
"Let's go." He said, taking my hand from his face and leading me to the car. He put me in the passenger's seat, even fastening my seatbelt, and then locking the doors.
"L?" I called out through the window, confused by him locking me in the car, I tried opening the door, but of course couldn't. L looked at me through the window knowingly, and I realized. I reached into the coat pocket and my suspicions where confirmed and I shook my head, "No. L, don't."
He stood up and I saw the gun in his hand, his mind was made up. Angela barked frantically in my lap as I panicked and protested as L walked back to Jethro's injured body, and without any hesitation, shot him in the head. His body went limp, and I knew he was dead.
L came back to the car, and I was still frozen in shock. He reached over and put the gun in the dash. He was calm and silent. I finally managed to get Angela quiet as he started the car and took off, tires screeching as he sped away. I felt sick as we raced through quiet backroads to get away. L had his hands gripped tightly around the wheel, picking up speed after every bend and turn.
"Stop the car." I said, "L, stop the car."
He ignored me.
"L stop the fucking car!" I screamed and he slammed his foot on the breaks, bringing the car to a screeching halt in the middle of nowhere. I quickly unbuckled myself and stubbled out the car onto my hands and knees as my entire body stiffened and I wretched my stomachs contents into the dirt. L got out the car and came up behind me to hold my hair as I continued to vomit. When I was done, he pulled me into his arms, and I started to cry. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"Don't—"
"You didn't have to kill him! You didn't have to kill him!"
"Yes. I did."
I felt his arms tightened around me as I cried harder, "You killed him because of me!"
"Yes." L took my face in his hands, "Look at me." He forced my head up to look him in the eye, and I saw his resolve and unwillingness to apologize for taking someone's life, "I can't bring every man to justice. I can't protect you if I only play by the rules. If I have to kill a thousand men to keep you safe, then I would, and I'd bury it using everything I have. Because I can."
"But you're L, you put the bad guys away. You're supposed to be on the side of justice." I said.
"Not in my personal life. And everything regarding you, is deeply personal to me. For every crime I commit, I put ten evil men away, I have never been a good man, but I still make the world a better place."
His confession stunned me. But I was not afraid of him. Even as the blood of the man he just killed rubbed off his hands and onto me, I was not afraid.
W looked at the sight before him. Angela had run straight upstairs once we got back to the house, but L and I were forced to stand in the foyer as W assessed the situation. W's gaze fell to where I had my hands were clutching L's arm and the old man clenched his jaw tightly. I looked up at L and saw his gaze fixed to the ground as if he were ashamed of himself. W took his glasses off and put them aside. Slowly the old man strode toward us, and L meekly stepped forward to protest.
"W—"
Slap.
L hit the ground hard. The impact of W backhanding the young man enough to knock the wind out of him.
"You—" W begun, a poison seeping through into his speech, "insolent brat!" the old man reached into his jacket and threw a handkerchief at the man on the floor, "Clean yourself up. I can't look at you." W turned his attention to me, and I shrunk under his harsh gaze, "Leah, you have sulked and made it very clear how much you hated being here. But I took you away from him because there is no one on this Earth that knows this man the way I do! He is not the white knight that he is known as. After tonight I'm sure you know what type of man he is. And you are not the first that he has obsessed over, pursued, and killed for. The only difference between you and every other girl he's had before, is that you are under our custody as a potential target for a man that is of high interest—not just to him—but to me. If it weren't for that, I would've sent you away to some place he couldn't find you the second I realized he'd set his eyes on you."
L picked himself up, "W, I know what you think, but I'd never harm her—"
"Shut up." W spat out, "You've disappointed me. I thought you'd outgrow this—vile thing! Everything I have done for you since you were a child, was to protect you and stop you from repeating the horrible things you were exposed to—"
"Don't talk about my parents!" L spoke up, "Not in front of her."
W shook his head in disbelief, "Get out. Go back to the manor, I'll handle your mess like I've always done."
"I'll take her with me." L declared, protectively taking my hand in his.
"I'll ruin you if you do."
I clung onto L, frightened by W's display of rage and disregard for the man that was like a son to him.
"You gave me control over everything for a reason. This is for your own good. And if you cared about protecting her, you'd leave her here." W said.
I shook my head, "No—no, why does he have to leave? I don't want him to!"
W sighed, "Leah this is not about you—"
"Yes, it is! And you keep talking about me like I'm not even here. Neither of you have ever asked me what I wanted since you took me! Why do you think I tried to run?" I felt myself get emotional.
"Leah," L whispered to me, "It's okay." L looked toward W, the two had a silent conversation, but finally, with reluctance, W left the room to give us some privacy.
"Please don't go." I said and he looked at me sadly.
"Right now, I don't have much of a choice. He's not wrong. I'm selfish and dangerous. You know that."
"I don't care."
L looked taken aback, "You don't mean that. You're still in shock, and you're scared."
"I'm fucking terrified."
L nodded, "You should be."
"But not of you."
"You should be."
"I'm not—I don't…" I struggled to find the words, "Every time you've been away from me, whether because you had to leave for business, or now when W brought me here…I don't like it."
"What's wrong?"
I shook my head.
"You feel the same way I do." L stated matter-of-factly, "That's not good."
"Don't say that."
L turned over my scarred hand and ran a finger over it, "Don't listen to what I tell W…I will hurt you. Just not in the way he thinks."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Everything is wrong with that. I'd kill for you, as you saw…but we can't live like this."
"I'm not an innocent little girl, I know what you mean, and it doesn't scare me."
"I know. But it scares me."
"Why!"
"Because I've never taken it that far before!" he stepped back, as if taken aback by his own confession, "Every woman I've been with I've loved more than life, but they were scared. No matter how much I held back, and no matter how much they said they wanted to be with me, I could still see that fear. When I look at you, I don't see that. I know you'd accept everything I have to give, but I don't know how much that would be. You've seen me stained in someone else's blood and still you're standing in front of me aching for me to kiss you—" he roughly grabbed me by the neck and pulled me close. His distinct aroma completely flooding my mind. One hand secured at the nape of my neck as he dragged his lips over my ear. God, the floor disappeared, and I faltered, but he kept me stable, pressed tightly against him. "But I won't. I can't. If I kissed you now, I'd defy W's orders and take you far away from here where I could do exactly as I wish. Things you'd wish were kept in your darkest nightmares, but still, I'd have you wrapped around my finger wanting more."
I whimpered, overcome with desire as he tightened his hand around my throat and dragged his lips over my cheek, "Please." I choked out breathlessly.
"If I do…W will have me answer to all my crimes. He can be tough sometimes." L pulled away and my heart sank at the loss of contact. He turned to leave without dragging out any farewells.
When he reached the door, I forced myself forward against better judgment. I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him, and when he turned back, I leaned forward and kissed him. His arms immediately wrapped around my waist to pull me in, and I snaked my fingers through his raven hair as we gave in to each other. An electricity shot through my body. Tasting his tongue in my mouth, reciprocating his vigor with ease.
The sound of footsteps approaching brought us back down to Earth and L pulled away breathless, "I'll come back for you."
Those were his last words before he was gone.
"Leah." W said behind me, "It's time to go to bed."