Chapter 4.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!
V sez: "ebony's name is ENOBY"? Deary, if you can't even decide on a name, I can call her whatever I want. Rules of the Internet, sweetheart. Look'em up.
DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent!
V sez: Malfoy, dear boy, if that's true, then you deserve each other. Keeps the gene pool nice and chlorinated for everyone else.
dey nu eechodder b4 ok!
V sez: And thank yousomuch for sharing that tidbit earlier; it was so helpful. *sigh* Oh, fine, don't bother with the blindfold and the last cigarette. Let's just get this over with.
"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
V sez: Good point.
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.
"Ebony?" he asked.
"What?" I snapped.
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.
V sez: Boy, "Shindler's List" must just keep you in stitches, huh, Ebony?
And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.
V sez: Wait-so he climbed on top of her first, and THEN they made out ("keenly", free cookie to anyone who can figure out how that works) against a tree? *gasp* Stop the presses! Malfoy is SPIDERMAN!
He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
V sez: Oh, dear LORD, it's Ikea Sex. Somebody pass the bleach.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was….Dumbledore!
V sez: *dies laughing* Misspelled and inappropriate or not, WHY was this line not in the actual books? WHY?