A/N: I've been asked if I'm a recovering heroin or drug addict. No, I've never done anything like that. The only drug I've done was marijuana and one time I had surgery and they gave me ketamin and when I came to, it was the best damn high I've ever had. But no, I've never done heroin or coke, but know or know of plenty of people who have.
Chapter 7
"Baby, I've been yearnin', Way, way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my love... I'm gonna give you my love"
-Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin
We rolled into Phoenix this morning and I woke up with Bella snuggled next to me, making me breathe a heavy sigh. My left arm had lost its feeling entirely, and when I tried to move my fingers, it felt like a million goddamn needles were jabbing into the tips. Bella was lightly snoring, so little by little I started moving my arm out from under her.
When I could hook my arm from around her, I sat up on the edge of the couch and ran my hands through my hair, trying to put it in some sort of order. We had a show today at the Cricket Pavilion as one of the opening acts for Godsmack and Nickelback, and I realized I needed to sit down with the guys to make out the set list.
My father had told me that Bella was only going to work for about three hours this afternoon, and then she had the rest of the day off. I needed an hour out of those three. She was moving around behind me so I looked over my shoulder and saw she was only rolling over to get comfortable. I smirked, rubbed the heel of my hands in my eyes, and got up to make my way back to the lounge.
When I walked in, I saw Carlisle cutting lines. He looked up at me with a piece of plastic straw from a fast food cup and offered it to me. I nodded in response and he moved over to give me room next to him. The others were still sleeping either in their bunks or thrown over each other with legs and arms twisting every which way. My father gave me the first two lines and I passed the straw back to him as he did the last three. I could see I wasn't going to be able to inject as much as I wanted until after everyone passed out tonight, so blow would once again be my friend.
Carlisle cast me a sneer, as he looked me up and down. It was then I noticed a funk emanating from me. God, the last shower I had was at the hotel in Portland.
"I'm going to call a taxi and go over to a nearby hotel to shower and do whatever else needs to be done," I replied, as I stretched my arms out.
"I'll call the taxi for you. You need to round up your clothes and shit," Carlisle offered.
"Thanks, Dad." He patted my back and got his cell phone out to dial information for a cab company.
I went around asking the others if they wanted to go to the hotel with me to shower and was told to leave them alone and let them fucking sleep. I threw my hands in the air and didn't bother with it anymore. A smile crawled across my lips as I knew Bella would want to freshen up. She had been bathing like a homeless person- washing up in the bathroom sink-but it wasn't nearly the same as taking a shower. I had been wearing the same clothes now for several days.
As I started walking towards the hallway where the bunks were, a stench came wafting into the lounge. I held my breath because I heard Jake ripping fart after fart. That fucker needed to cut back on the beer and burgers. The whole back end of the bus was going to smell like ass for rest of the day. I hoped that it would stay back there. When I reached the front, Bella was sitting up stretching and I noticed her shirt had lifted up, showing a sliver of skin of her stomach. I closed my eyes and shivered.
Bella jumped from where she was sitting when she saw me leaning against the wall. She relaxed after she realized it was me and ran her left hand through her hair. I walked over and sat down next to her.
"Carlisle called for a taxi for me because I'm going to get a hotel room for a few hours to shower and clean up. Do you want to go with me so you can take a real shower too? I'm also going to do some laundry so that I can have some clean clothes," I offered.
"Sure. It would feel nice to have a hot shower; also getting some laundry done would be great, too."
"I'm going to go gather up my shit so when the taxi gets here we'll be ready to go."
Carlisle came walking down the hallway with his fingers plugging up his nose and talking with a nasal sound.
"The cab will be here in twenty minutes. Bella, you may want to hold your breath when you go down the hallway; Jake's stomach is messed up."
Bella laughed as she watched Carlisle turn back towards the lounge.
Our shit was sitting out by the bus door when the taxi pulled up. I motioned to Bella that it was here as she was slipping on her sandals. The driver got out and popped the trunk open for our bags. I had our bags in my hands, already walking towards the car, when the driver greeted me and offered to help. He took the two bags out of my right hand, walked over to the open trunk, carefully placed them down, and asked for the other three.
Bella walked over to the taxi as the driver was shutting the trunk. I opened up the passenger door on the drive's side and motioned for her to go in first. She looked at me with curiosity. Carlisle stuck his head out the bus door and waved us off; I gave him the peace sign.
Our driver told us there was a Motel 6 about five miles from the Pavilion, and I told him that would be fine. I didn't need much, just a place to shower off the grunge and the funk. Bella was quiet as she stared out the window with her head propped up on the window glass, her legs and arms crossed and her body angled away from me. I let out a heavy sigh, rested my left elbow on the edge of the window, and watched the passing traffic. The coke started to take effect as I felt a nervous energy in me, making me shake my knee.
"Are you nervous about something?" Her voice broke the silence. I looked over at her and she was still staring out the window. I cleared my throat before I spoke and she turned slightly to eye me.
"No. I just had too much caffeine this morning and I'm offering a penny for the thoughts running through your mind. You look very deep in thought." I twitched a smile.
She sighed and turned to look at me. "I'm not exactly a morning person and I'm hungry."
"I don't meant to eavesdrop, but there is a breakfast place next to the motel. It's a local place, nothing well known," the driver offered.
Bella smiled at him and said thank you.
"I'll get us breakfast once we're cleaned up and dressed."
"Thank you, Cullen," she said but continued, "Listen, Cullen…" I stopped her before she could say anything else.
I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Wait until we are alone to talk, please. Apparently the driver is listening."
She nodded and went back to staring out the window.
The Motel 6 was one of the nicer ones I'd seen. We pulled up to its front door and the driver popped the trunk. Bella opened up the door and stepped out to grab her bags as I paid the tab and grabbed the rest of the bags. The driver waved goodbye and Bella and I entered the lobby. I offered to take her bag, but she just walked ahead of me and went to the sitting area while I took care of getting us a room.
* * *
How am I going to able to keep my sanity while I'm in a hotel room alone with him? I thought. Last night, as I kissed his cheek and his jaw, I had wanted to plunge my tongue into his mouth and mingle it with his. My hands had wanted to roam through that wayward, freshly fucked hair; all the while, my brain screamed at me to pull away. Then we fell asleep, spooned together, after he asked me about the scent I always wore.
He didn't want me to have any expectations, just wanted to see where things went. That would be easier for him than me. He was beautiful, talented, and intelligent. He had this aura about him. I don't know if it was the rock star in him, or if it was just something, he exuded. It was intoxicating to be in front of a rock star that you have lusted over and have their undivided attention, to see the want and lust in their eyes for you.
He stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets looking down at me, waiting for me to come out of my daydream. I felt my face flush and looked up at him as I grabbed my bag before I stood up. Cullen extended his left hand, again offered to take my bag. I knew he was trying, so I let him take it. We walked over to the elevator and waited for it to descend. I spoke first.
"What floor are we on?" I asked.
"Third, room three oh five. It has two queen sized beds in it if you want to sleep some more," he said with a rushed tone.
I noted he was shaking his right leg and tapping his fingers against his legs while his face was doing a little twitch. He was extremely nervous about something.
"Cullen, you can calm down. I don't want to have sex, so you don't have to worry about that," I softly whispered.
He grinned and took in his lower lip.
"Bella, I'm not worried about that. I just want my shower."
"Why didn't the others come with us?"
"They wanted to sleep, so I didn't bother them anymore. Jasper and Emmett can roll around in their funk. It'll be their fault that they will have to see Alice and Rosalie off while stinking."
"The girls are leaving?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah, they have work to get back to. Rosalie is a bookkeeper at her father's auto repair shop and Alice is a manager for a clothing store. Both live and work in Seattle." He said the last the bits just as the elevator finally chimed but we had to wait for a pile of people to exit before we could enter.
The elevator ride and the walk to the room were done in silence. Apparently, we both weren't morning people. I looked down at my cell phone and it just now read seven. I wanted to get that shower and maybe sleep for another couple of hours, but then I wanted food, too. My stomach grumbled in protest of me sleeping.
Once we were inside, I sat my bag on the table, grabbed my clothes and toiletries, and headed to the bathroom before Cullen did. I closed and locked the door, which made him mutter something under his breath that didn't sound very happy. I was in the middle of taking off my pants when Cullen pounded on the door.
"You know that shit isn't fair. You're going to take forever and I haven't had a shower in almost four fucking days. You've at least kept the important areas cleaned."
I didn't answer him as I was trying to contain my laughter, while he slammed his fist on the door.
"Fine! Just take your sweet goddamn time. I don't fucking care!" he chided.
I was hairy, as in my legs, pits and the hooha. It was nasty. I would have to make quick work of what I could while the hooha just got a trim. My shampoo and conditioner were hidden on the side of my backpack.
Everything that I had was vanilla, even my body wash from Bath and Bodyworks was Warm Vanilla Sugar. The scent seemed to drive Cullen absolutely insane, even more than he already was.
The shower curtain was the normal cheap thing that they probably got from the dollar store and the fixtures looked cheap as well. At least I was going to be taking a real shower. Once the temperature was comfortable, I stepped in and almost came from the sheer delight of having warm water spraying on my body. I washed my hair immediately, as it was beyond oily. Then I did a quick shave over my legs and my pits before taking slightly more time on the hooha. Overall, I finished quicker than I wanted to.
When the towel was wrapped around my body, I opened the door to let some of the steam out. Cullen was sitting on the side of the bed facing the bathroom with a glazed look in his eyes and a lazy crooked smile on his face. I knew he was high. On what, I didn't know.
"You were quicker than I thought you were going to be. Did you save some hot water for me?" he asked me with a slow draw.
"There should be some left. It was still warm when I turned it off. Are you alright?" I asked.
"I'm fine. I'm just waiting for you to get out of the bathroom."
I grabbed my toiletries and walked over to my bag, where my neatly folded clothes were. Cullen walked into the bathroom with his clothes and closed the door.
I inspected my legs and was surprised I didn't have patches of hair that I missed. I pulled out my cocoa butter lotion and rubbed it everywhere on my body. There wasn't much time. I had to hurry and get dressed or Cullen would be seeing me naked, not that I was opposed to that or anything. I found my lavender boy shorts with white lace trimming and the matching bra and put both of them on.
Since it was going to be a thousand degrees today in Phoenix, I pulled out my jean shorts that verged on being too short and a lavender, thin-strapped tank top. I would definitely need extra deodorant, so I slathered on the Vanilla Chai Secret gel antiperspirant.
My father had made sure I had my sunscreen because of my fair skin, so I found a tube of SPF seventy-five down in the bottom of my bag. I applied it to the areas of skin that were showing. My hair was the last thing I took care of. I towel dried it, brushed it out, put it up in a sloppy twist, and secured it with a clip.
Cullen opened the door with steam billowing out and had his towel wrapped around his hips as he was washing out his mouth. His hair was even more unruly than it normally was; I felt a pool of moisture gathering in my boy shorts.
His body was more amazing than I remembered it, since I was now seeing it uncovered. He still had the glassiness in his eyes and a bit of a delayed reaction time. There was no way in hell I was massaging him today, but I wanted to wait until we got back to the pavilion to tell him.
He applied his deodorant and sunscreen, which surprised me. There was a small container of mousse sitting on the counter and he shook it twice and then made a small dollop in his right hand. After he ran it through his hair, he used the tiny hair dryer hanging on the wall to dry his hair, with the finished product being his trademark super freshly fucked hair. I got to witness its making. Cullen looked over at me in the mirror and smirked arrogantly.
"It's not polite to stare, Bella," he laughed.
I quickly turned around, saw the remote to the television, and turned it on. There was the usual morning news shows on and I settled on Good Morning America. They were talking about ways to stay cool for the summer time. I sighed, as summer wasn't even here yet.
Cullen walked out with the towel still wrapped around his hips and threw his clothes on the bed. I sat on the edge of it staring at the TV with little interest; my mind was zoning out. I jostled out of my coma when I felt the bed shake. Cullen had bounced onto it while still wearing the towel. I peeked around slightly.
"Bella, there's nothing showing. You can turn around and look at me," he softly spoke. I turned and looked up at him.
Yeah, there wasn't anything showing, but the towel's part stopped just shy of his balls and dick. His eyes went to my chest and widened when he saw a bit of my lavender bra showing.
"You're color coordinating today. Do your panties match everything else, assuming you're wearing any?"
"Yes, everything is lavender."
He smiled and looked like he was about to doze off when he opened his eyes enough to look at me.
"Bella, I'm going to sleep for awhile. Can you wake me up in a couple of hours?" he slurred. I nodded my head but he was already gone before he could see my answer.
Cullen was a sound sleeper and didn't stir once since he had fallen comatose. I was just starting to watch "Ellen" when he woke up. My head turned back towards the TV when I saw his left hand reach down to scratch and adjust his dick and balls.
Something white landed just at the edge of my left foot. I looked down to see the towel that had been around Cullen's hips. I heard him chuckle and I was sure he saw how red my ears were from blushing.
"Bella, you can turn around now. I have my boxer briefs on," he said with a smile.
"I'm just giving you privacy, even though you could have gone in the bathroom to get dressed," I muttered.
He sighed as I turned to face him. He was wearing khaki cargo shorts, a muted green shirt that read McGuire's Irish Pub with restroom signs on it that was in either Pensacola or Destin, FL, and gray Chucks. Cullen looked amazing.
My stomach loudly grumbled interrupting the silence in the room. He looked at me with furrowed brows and a stern look on his face.
"Bella, you haven't eaten anything yet, have you?" he asked.
"Um, no. I was waiting for you to wake up."
"Shit. I slept too long and now we don't have time to do laundry. Let's go grab some breakfast and get back to the pavilion. I have shit to do before we go on," he said as he packed everything back in the bags. Mine were already packed.
After his three plates and my two plates of all you can eat pancakes, Cullen paid the tab and we walked back to the hotel, where our cab was waiting for us. By then, it was approaching midday and the temperature reached into the upper eighties. It was going to be HOT today. We both had a slight sheen of sweat on our foreheads as the cab drove off.
Small talk about the upcoming show and that he was disappointed about not being able to get a massage filled the ride back. I was relieved that I didn't have to tell him I couldn't massage him. We sat at a red light behind a line of cars and Cullen reached over, put his arm across the back of my shoulders and neck, and started lightly rubbing the top of my right shoulder. It was an innocent gesture and actually calming. I didn't notice him looking at me from the corner of his eye.
"Dear thoughts are in my mind and my soul soars enchanted, as I hear the sweet lark sing in the clear air of the day. For a tender beaming smile, to my hope has been granted, and tomorrow she shall hear all my fond heart would say. I shall tell her all my love, all my soul's adoration; and I think she will hear me and will not say me nay. It is this that fills my soul with its joyous elation, as I hear the sweet lark sing in the clear air of the day," he whispered.
I looked over at him with a small smile and knew it was more Irish poetry.
"Who was that by and what is its title?" I whispered back.
"Sir Samuel Ferguson wrote it and titled it "The Lark in the Clear Air."
"Do you always rattle off Irish poetry to all the girls?" I said as I bit my bottom lip.
He looked at me with serious eyes, lowered them to my lips, and then back to my eyes.
"No, I don't," he murmured before grazing my left ear with a chaste kiss.
After we got back to the bus, Cullen disappeared with Carlisle and Jasper in the back lounge to work on the set list. I asked him to put "Ride the Bullet" on the set list. It made him crack his crooked smile and raise his right brow in question.
I was checking my emails when Jake walked up onto the bus and sat across from me on the other couch. He kicked off his Nike's and stretched out the entire length, and put his arms behind his head. I finished my email to Charlie and turned off the laptop.
Jake looked over at me and gave a weak smile. A loud rupture of laughter echoed down the hallway, breaking through the quietness between Jake and me. He grinned as he pulled himself up and sat facing me with his elbows resting on the tops of his knees. I turned my head back to him and nodded towards the lounge.
"Nah. I'm fine right here. I finally get a chance to catch up with you. It's been awhile since I've seen you. How are things back home?" he asked with cautious eyes.
"They're fine. Everyone has gotten married and has one or two kids."
"How's my dad? Do our dad's still like watching baseball all the time?"
"Your dad's fine and yes, they still like watching baseball. Jake, do you not talk with Billy that often?"
He hesitated and hung his head.
"Not really. He doesn't approve of this lifestyle or of other areas of my life."
I looked at him with confusion.
"Bella, there is a secret that I am keeping from everyone on the bus, and I can't let it get out or Cullen would blow a gasket because I lied to him and the others. They might not like what the secret is."
"Jake, I'm not going to say anything."
"Bella, I see how close Cullen and you are getting. That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about. Cullen hasn't exactly ever had a steady relationship. Whatever gone on with Jane was nothing, and the only other girl who was a constant was Tanya. She was the girl he went to whenever he didn't want to waste his energy on someone new. He has a shit load of issues, Bella.
And he can be and is an asshole. I just don't want to come on the bus one day to find you crying because he's done some shit that you're not used to seeing or he's run his mouth off. Aside from the major flaws and underneath his asshole exterior, he's a good guy, but I don't know how much of that part of him is left. Just be careful, that's all I'm saying," he spoke with genuine concern.
Cullen yelled for Jake to join the rest of them in the lounge and that I wasn't going to be working that day.
It was beyond hot outside but the bus was comfortably cool. I sat with my legs bent up so that my laptop fit easily in my lap. Jessica was on IM and there was no one on the bus. The guys and Alice left to go hang out with the other bands before the show started. Emmett and Carlisle asked me if I had wanted to come and meet the other bands, but I kindly declined by saying I was still a bit tired and wanted to rest.
Jessica was going on and on about how her son was dragging out every pot and pan out of the kitchen cabinets and banging them with the wooden spoons he had pulled out of one of the drawers. I giggled at the thought of her little, blonde curly headed boy Caleb banging around, making Jessica to want to pull her hair out. She told me that she misses having me around as I used to baby-sit for her on occasion. I sighed and typed that I missed Caleb and her also.
"So how big is he?" she typed back.
"Who are you asking about?" I responded.
"You know who I'm inquiring about? Don't play stupid, Bella."
Sighing, I knew to whom she was referring, but I was hoping that by some chance I might be wrong.
"He's nicely proportioned. Everything corresponds with his height and body size."
"Bella, that tells me absolutely nothing. Bitch."
"That was my intention. You know I don't give out details like that. Not at this point."
"Bells, you know I'm not going to tell anyone. Besides, who would believe me if I did say anything?"
"True. I just don't feel comfortable talking about his anatomy."
"Well, if you're not going to dish on that subject; has he like, you know, given you indication that he at least likes you?"
"Yes, he likes me. I like him. And that is about the extent of the situation right now."
"Bella, if you're going to be all secretive and unforthcoming, I'm going to sign off and go put Caleb down for a nap so I can get some cleaning done. I'll talk at you later, Bells."
"Jess, I'm sorry. I'll tell you more when I'm ready. I'll talk at you later on."
"It's okay. Bye, Bella."
Shortly after, Jessica signed off and left me looking at the screen, feeling awkward.
After what seemed like hours of playing Scrabble on , I noticed I was still the only one on the bus and it had gotten late in the day. I shut down my laptop and walked back to the lounge. When I entered the lounge, I gasped with shock. They had all but destroyed the area.
It looked like a college frat house with beer bottles laying everywhere, and it surprised me they left it this way with Alice staying behind, as Rosalie had left sometime after Cullen and I left. I couldn't walk without stepping on a can or a bottle, and it smelled like stale beer. There was a white power residue scattered on the table. I shook my head in disgust and waded through the sea of bottles and cans to get my own bottle of Heineken from the fridge.
The late afternoon warmth greeted me when I stepped off the bus, and I stopped before I could get both feet off the last step. There were so many people around and I felt slightly out of place with so many around. A hand grabbed the top of left arm, causing me to gasp a little. I looked around my shoulder to see John, Jake's drum tech, handing me a card hanging from cord. I looked at him with a quirked brow.
"Bella, you need this to be able to walk around freely back here. It's a pass. Keep it on at all times. You understand?" I nodded and he placed it around my neck.
John walked off in the opposite direction and left me to explore alone. Many of the men I saw were shirtless or wore white wife beaters, and most of the women were all but naked. Little thin triangles and tops with under wire barely contained their tits and I saw so many bare ass cheeks that I felt like I was in a strip club. All the bare skin made me feel overdressed. Clustered in amongst groups of people, members of the other bands were socializing before the show.
The lead singer of Godsmack, Sully Erna, noticed me out of the corner of his eye, turned my way, and gave me a wink. I stood there feeling puzzled and looked around me to see if there might be some other girl nearby, but only saw more shirtless guys. When I realized he winked at me, I felt myself flush and started speed walking farther in the direction I had been heading.
During my wandering, I couldn't help but notice that guys were turning their heads and giving me the once over. I don't know if it was because they thought I was cute or because I was the palest person around. They didn't say anything to me, they just looked. It almost made me feel self-conscious.
I had walked long enough to finish off my beer and while I was looking for a trash bin, I found Jasper and Alice. Alice saw me and waved me over. There was a trash bin behind her, so she wrapped her right arm around me as I threw the bottle in the away. They were in a circle talking with some crew from one of the other bands. Alice looked me up and down and smiled.
"Bella, those shorts sure don't cover much and your tank shows off every curve you have. How did Cullen let you out of the hotel room?" Alice inquired while shaking her short hair that flipped out at the ends.
"I don't know. Why would he notice me when there are girls who are revealing far more skin than I am? I didn't think my shorts were that short and my top isn't too revealing," I answered back with annoyance filling my voice.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. You have no idea how pretty you are, do you? Let's just say if I wasn't with Alice, I would be all over you. Please don't tell Alice I said that to you," Jasper whispered to me. I just smiled and nodded in compliance.
One of the guys offered me another beer and I noticed it was actually a Heineken. I smiled and said thank you to him as his fingers grazed over mine while he looked down at me with a crooked grin. He was cute with his shoulder length, brown hair the color of dead leaves and eyes that were blue as the sky above. He said his name was Perry. He seemed nice enough, but nothing struck a chord with me.
Jasper noticed Perry trying to flirt with me and he draped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. Alice gazed up at him with a small smile playing on her lips. I didn't fight him. It was surprisingly comforting, so I leaned more of my weight into his body, which caused him to pull me closer. I saw Jasper's eyes look down at something Alice had in her hand as I saw her nod her head in a direction I couldn't make out.
"Well gentlemen, if you'll excuse us, I have a date with these two beautiful ladies if you know what I mean," Jasper drawled and got a response of loud, male laughter.
I knitted my eyebrows and looked at Alice as she rolled her eyes. Jasper pulled Alice and me away from the circle and started walking in the direction that I had been walking.
We walked behind all the buses and found some cases to sit on. Alice pulled out from her pocket what looked like a joint, and looked at Jasper as he handed her a lighter. Alice looked up at me and waggled the joint with a mischievous smile.
"Want to join in, Bella?" she asked.
"Of course. Hey, Jasper, when do you guys go on?" I asked.
"I think in about two hours or so, maybe three."
"Bella, you and I get to watch from the side of the stage. These guys are awesome. Hey, Jas, are you guys throwing in any covers?" Alice asked as she passed the joint to me.
"I think three. Cullen wants to do Motley's 'Looks That Kill,' HIM's 'Poison Girl' and White Zombie's 'Thunder Kiss '65.'"
I knew each one of those songs and smiled at Jasper as he took a drag so big his eyes bugged out. Alice teased him for being a joint hog and slapped his right arm. Emmett found us and came bearing an armful of beers, two Coronas and two Heinekens. I was still drinking my second one and now had a third. Emmett looked down at me and glued his eyes to my legs.
"Damn, chickie…nice legs there, but you're so white I bet you glow in the moonlight. I can't believe my brother let you leave the hotel room."
"That's what Alice said also. Why would he stop me from leaving the hotel?" I honestly didn't know.
"Bells, I think my brother in his own way likes you. He won't admit it to anyone, but he does. All I can say is…just give him time. He's going to fuck up, believe me, is he ever going to fuck up. But just hang in there."
My eyebrows furrowed as I took my last drag from the joint before passing it to Emmett who took a baby drag and passed the last of it to Jasper. That joint was more potent than the one from the other night. I was definitely high and apparently, on my way to being drunk, which gave me the nerve to bring up the disaster left behind in the back lounge.
"Um, do you all know you left the lounge in a complete mess? I had to walk through a sea of beer bottles and cans just to reach the refrigerator. It looks disgusting. Alice, I'm surprised you left it looking that way," I chastised.
"Bella, I have tried and it does absolutely no good. We are outnumbered here. Men are pigs," Alice replied.
Emmett and Jasper made pig sounds as their responses. I sighed, giving up just like Alice.
Emmett made several beer runs before he brought out a tub of ice filled with beer. By that point, I had lost count of how many beers I had drank. We had smoked again, but this time it was a blunt.
Jasper rolled it and it looked like a giant tampon. I knew I was fucked up, because I was sitting around in just my shorts and my lavender bra. My poor tank top sprouted legs and walked off somewhere because I couldn't find it and I really didn't care.
Alice was fucked up also, as she was walking around in her white tank top and little low rise, baby pink boy shorts. By then, Carlisle had found us and sat down to join in. It was at that point I started to feel like I officially became part of the group.
Carlisle was nursing a bottle of Jack Daniels. I was engrossed in the story Emmett was telling about the time he was out hunting and got cornered by a bear that I hardly noticed the tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw it was Carlisle nudging the bottom of the bottle on me. He looked down at me with his brow cocked in question. My right hand reached around for the bottle and brought it up to my mouth. This was my first time ever trying Jack.
Instantly, my mouth was set on fire, which traveled down my throat and made its final boiling point in my belly. I shuddered and took another sip. The burn didn't ease any with each additional swig.
Carlisle finally sat down and leaned his opened right hand over to me to take the bottle back. Even though it scorched my damn throat, the whiskey tasted good.
"You can have more, if you want, Bella," Carlisle whispered to me.
I smiled and nodded as I reached for the bottle. Carlisle was dressed casually like the rest of us in his faded worn out blue jeans, scuffed Doc Martens, and a Seether tee. God, it was hard to believe that my dad and he were the same age. I almost wanted to hump Carlisle.
Emmett and Jasper were telling stories about the numerous groupies that had tried various ways to get the boys to fuck them, which made Alice and I laugh until our sides were hurting. Alice had started another joint, making it a total of three. Carlisle and I were also nursing the JD bottle. I was beyond fucked up at this point. When the joint came to me, I took three long hits, making Emmett swat at my lower right leg.
Alice took the joint from me forcefully and I rolled over onto my stomach laughing. My face was down in the dirt, watching the world do aerials around me. I heard a loud screaming noise was coming from a pile of cases in the distance. I looked to see what direction it was coming from until I saw a pair of dangling tits slapping against a girl's body with her head thrown back and her back arched. Her arms stretched out lengthwise while holding onto two equipment cases as she moaned and screamed with her eyes closed.
Her long, honey colored hair covered parts of her face as a hand, connected to the man fucking her, pulled and twisted it. My eyes slowly scanned her body and didn't find one imperfection. She was completely naked and I saw no remnants of clothing anywhere. My scanning moved up to the manly, pale arm that held her hair while he fucked her from behind; the arm tensed up from gripping so tightly.
I continued moving up the body, something about it seemed familiar as I scanned the abdominal muscles and the chest. His head was reared back with his mouth turned in a sneer. He lowered his head as he looked down at his dick going in and out of the girl and picked up speed, making the girl scream louder. His face twisted in a snarl as he pulled out of the girl, turned her around, and threw her on top of the cases.
He spread her legs as wide as they could go, rammed his dick into her as hard as he could, and went back to impaling the girl's cunt. Her back arched as her fingers tried unsuccessfully to grasp onto the edge of the case. His eyes were closed and he looked deep in concentration. It was then I knew who it was.
It felt like my uterus clenched in excitement from watching Cullen fuck the girl senseless but my brain was scrambling to sort out my feelings. I was so fucked up that the thought crossed my mind that I might be imagining that it was he because I was almost at my wit's end with him from sexual tension. Someone turned me over and sat me back up as I brought my knees to my chest and slouched over them.
I was smiling at the memory of seeing Cullen have sex, even though it wasn't, as Jasper pulled my face up and I looked at him through half opened eyes. My ears were filled with laughter and I couldn't help but join in, even though I had no idea what was so funny.
Carlisle looked down at his watch after we had all stopped laughing and made a circle with his hand that signaled that they needed to start rounding up the other two members and hit the stage. Alice pulled me up, dusted off my ass and legs, and then forced her little hand into mine, holding it with a death grip. We followed the guys to a set of multiple stairs that led up to the side of the stage.
When we got up there, John was finishing up with connecting some wires and gave the sign that everything was good to go. Jake and Cullen came running up behind us and startled me. Cullen looked down at me and smiled quickly as he yelled for the others to join him on stage. They were met with a loud wall of screams.
Cullen had his back towards the crowd and started counting with his fingers. Then the pavilion rocked with a thunderous boom from Jake as the air filled with the scream from Jasper's guitar. They started with "Ride the Bullet." Cullen looked over to me at the point in the song when he asked if you wanted the ride the bullet. My brain was swimming so deep in the fog of marijuana, Heineken and Jack Daniels that I barely registered what he meant. I looked over at Alice and she was dancing like a stripper on a metal folding chair. Jasper looked over at her, licked his lips, and smiled.
The guys had the crowd eating out of their hands, as were Alice and I. We wiggled our asses and grinded our hips into each other. Cullen stripped off his shirt and it was then I noticed he had changed into some jeans that hung low on his hips. His alabaster skin gleamed in the fading sunlight and made all the girls in the crowd scream louder than they already were. And I was still smiling through my drug and alcohol haze.
* * *
Everyone decided to stay on the side of the stage to watch the other two bands perform, but I was fucking drained and wanted some down time. Once our show was over, I did my little meeting with the fans, shook hands with the crew and the other bands, and then retreated to the bus. Off in the distance, I could still hear the muffled screaming of the crowd and the random yelp of a girl passing the bus. Carlisle had left some China White lying on the table already cut up into lines for me to snort.
Bella looked to have truly been having fun while we performed. In between singing, Emmett told me that they had gotten her so drunk and high that she seemed to have been in another world. I looked over at the side of the stage and found Alice and her grinding on each other; I laughed to myself. Bella could hang but how far was she willing to go?
I stared down at the lines of China on the tabletop, fingering the segment of plastic straw, while feeling my saliva pool in my mouth at the impending rush. I took a deep breath in and slowly blew it out. I leaned down, carefully inserted the straw into my left nostril, and slowly ran the other end over the three lines before switching sides to do three more lines.
Within mere moments, the rush slammed into my brain like a bullet train going top speed. I was numb, yet there was a warm, euphoric glow radiating all over. My body slumped against the backing of the booth as my head rolled back and rested with my eyes closed. Being numb and warmly glowing at the same time was a beautiful pull of emotions on my body. I was alone and in love.
At some point, I had made my way over to the couch in the lounge and was lying with one leg hanging over and my right arm lying across my forehead. I was still in a dream state. It felt like there was someone in the room with me so I slowly turned my head and saw her. Cascades of chocolate draped over her shoulder and her body was covered in the smoothest cream ever. She eyed the baggie, and looked over at me with glassy eyes, as her mouth turned up with a crooked half smile.
"Would you like to try some?" I spoke and it sounded like my voice was echoing. She nodded in response.
It felt as if my body was floating over to her, not walking with one foot in front of the other. I squeezed behind the table and picked up the baggie. I dumped the rest of the China onto the table, took my credit card out, and started chopping the powder into lines. I made four neat little white trails.
Her small hand rested on top of my thigh on my right side while she looked into my eyes with a distant look that somehow showed want and desire. I picked up the segment of plastic straw and instructed her to slowly lower her head to the first line and carefully insert the straw into one of her nostrils, making sure not to go up too far.
She placed the straw into her right nostril and laid it at the start of the first line. I guided her to go slow as she slid the straw up the length of the line. When she was done with it, she moved over to the second line and started repeating the process over. I put my hand on her left shoulder and pulled her back.
"That's enough for right now," I murmured and finished off the last two lines.
Her eyes were wide open and as time passed, she slumped back into the booth and became relaxed. She turned her head over to me and lazily smiled as her eyes looked down at my mouth. I smirked as I raised my left hand to her jaw line and stroked her bottom lip with my thumb. Her tongue grazed the pad of my thumb and leisurely ran the tip over the nail. My breathing picked up as I leaned in and crushed my mouth onto hers.
There was no resistance; her mouth melted into mine. Nothing was nice about our reactions. Her fingers clawed my scalp as they pulled at my hair and my hands raced up underneath the front of her shirt and started pulling the cup of her bra down. My thumb and index finger found her right nipple and started rolling it as my palm massaged the entire breast. She was panting and whimpering into my mouth, which urged me on even more. I separated us quickly, pulled her shirt off, and unhooked her bra.
My mouth all but swallowed her right tit. She tried to rip my shirt off my body and I growled, as I had to stop what I was doing to her so she could. Once we were skin to skin, it felt as if there was a fire that was set ablaze. My fingernails clawed at the skin on her smooth back as my lips trailed from her smooth neck down to her left tit as I consumed that one.
My tongue flicked across the pink tip making it hard. Her body was responding to every touch, as her little hands were everywhere on mine. It was the effect of the China; the warm glow coming in contact with more of the glow from my body.
My left hand traveled down the silky expanse of her back, setting her skin on fire. She rolled her hip out when my hand grasped it. She was nipping at my neck as her hands roamed down my back, making their way to the waistband of my jeans.
Both of my hands were on her ass, supporting her bottom as I lifted her up onto her knees so that her belly was at the level of my lips. I slowly traced a path from her belly button to the top of her shorts, placing deep, wet kisses. Her arms wrapped around my head with her fingers gripping my hair.
I brought my hands around to the button on her shorts and slipped it through the slit that wrapped around it. The pulling of the zipper echoed in the emptiness of the lounge. I slipped the shorts down over her ass, hips, and then down her thighs, as she was then able to slip them off the rest of the way.
She was before me in nothing but her lavender boy shorts. I pushed on her shoulders, making straddle me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed into my hard on. I looked into her eyes, growled while I hurriedly slid away from the booth, and laid her down on the couch.
One leg was bent between her legs and the other was pressed against the cushion edges. I was unzipping my jeans when her hands grabbed at the waistband and angrily pushed them down. Her eyes went to the floor and scowled at the Docs I was still wearing and then back to my dick. I laughed when she saw the size of it since it was now uncovered. I fumbled with getting my boots off and almost fell over. Her right hand softly stroked the massive length. My breathing was ragged and I saw her eyes fill with wonder and glaze over.
I was finally naked and needed to get those lavender panties off her. She looked up at me with her tongue rubbing her bottom lip and I smiled back down at her. She leaned over and wrapped her little warm mouth around the head of my cock before taking the rest in.
My hands wrapped underneath her hair as they cradled the base of her skull, and gently pressed as she went down. The tip of her tongue flicked down the shaft and back up as she tongued the slit underneath the head. She traced the entire outline of the head, looking up at me innocently. I was growing impatient.
I grabbed the back of her arms and yanked her up, then pushed her down on the beige couch. I reached down to the band of her panties, curled my fingers in, and almost ripped them in the process of getting them off. Our clothes lay in a strung out pile. My eyes gazed back over her complete nakedness and grew wide when I noticed she was bare on her pussy. There wasn't a landing strip or anything.
I wanted my mouth down there, tasting her, licking and sucking, but I took the back of my right hand, grazed over the smoothness of the area, parted her with two fingers, and growled when I felt her wetness seeping out. She wanted this as much as I did. Animalistic need took over as I slammed my body down onto hers, trying not to put all of my weight on her, and going full hilt as my fingers kept her parted.
She screamed when I shoved into her. She was tight, so very tight, enveloping my dick like velvet. A groan passed through my throat as I started slowly moving in and out of her, loosening her so I could fuck her hard. When I felt her pussy give away some, I picked up my speed and strength. She moaned loudly as her eyes rolled back in her head. I had her legs straight against me with her feet on my shoulders.
My hands curled around the arm of the couch for support, as I barreled into her harder and faster. Her tits were bouncing and rolling back and forth. Our skin was slapping upon contact and I started rolling my hips to give her a new sensation, which made her shriek my name loudly. Her face was in sweet, joyful agony. I looked down and watched my dick fuck her, and saw that a white liquid, her liquid, covered it.
Her skin was pink from the rush of blood. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy as she screamed, "Oh god, fuck me harder" and "Cullen, please don't stop." Her body shook for what seemed like the sixth time, before I started feeling the pressure of my release.
We were both drenched with sweat. I was slamming into her with everything I had. Her skin and mine was slick from her cum and it had seeped onto the cushions of the couch. She was trying to grasp my back to hold on when I emptied myself deep within her. I shuddered all over and placed kisses on her neck, jaw and lips.
She smiled lazily as I rested my head on her chest. We were both breathing heavily and sounded like asthmatics as we tried to still our lungs. She encircled her arms around me and held me. After I had calmed my breathing, I placed tiny kisses on her chest and moved to her mouth. An electric current filled the warm euphoric glow and numbness that I still had. Her voice broke through my thoughts.
"Cullen, that was amazing. I feel like a warm, fuzzy electric glove is encasing my body," she whispered. I smiled against her mouth before replying with poetry.
"She is the touch of pink, On crab apple blossom, And hawthorn, and she melts frost flowers with her finger." She smiled up at me with pink lips and the flush pinkness on her cheeks made from the rush of blood.
"Who was that by?" she whispered.
"Michael Longley. Called 'A Touch.'"
My left hand journeyed to underneath her hair and I tipped her head back so her mouth would turn up towards mine. I breathed a sigh of pleasure and took her mouth again as my body awoke with desire again. Therefore, I took her again as we rode out the euphoric glow.