Sorry for the long wait in updates, this chapter was hard to write. In between trying to get the chapter right, I did some reading. Some of these stories I read a couple of months ago and didn't add them to my last update. Here they are.

1. Sins of the Father by bethaboo

2. Under the Apple Tree by danieller123

3. Love in My Box by cosmoandmarvar

4. The Ride by aylah50

5. Elusively Yours by GemmaH

6. Righteous and Wicked by

7. Come Find Me by samrosey

Also big thanks to my beta adt216 and pre-reader acinad816

Chapter 18

"Hey Bacchus…

She hates me…"

- In Praise of Bacchus, Type O Negative

B.

The late afternoon sun plastered shades of gold and red through the bedroom. For some reason, the curtain was wide open, making my eyes squint. The silence was deafening. There were no sounds of the busy Atlanta traffic, no sound of water dripping or a clock ticking. It was as if I was on the planet alone.

With nothing to distract my senses, flickering flashes of earlier blipped in my memory like a spot on a radar screen. Memories of arms, fingers, tongues, teeth, legs and primal sounding shrieks ricocheted behind my eyes. Memories flashed like a rapid slide show- my leg bent at a particular angle with one tongue on my breast and another between my legs or my fingers exploring and vigorously moving as my tongue followed in the same exploration.

The last memory was of him whispering sentimental words before I drifted off to sleep as I lay within a circle of warmth. Finally coming to, I stretched out my arms and felt nothing but the cool sheets. Panicking, I raised up on one elbow, bringing the bed sheet to my chest, and looked around. Their clothes were still strewn everywhere, and the unfamiliar luggage sat far off in a corner. The sight should have given me a sense of comfort, but oddly, in that moment, I didn't feel anything.

I looked over at the bedside clock and saw it was thirty minutes until seven. I cursed under my breath, ripped the covers away, and darted over to my bags - pulling out whatever I could.

Once I dragged my ass into the bathroom, I looked at the mirror that was to the right of the bathtub, and groaned at the image reflected back. My hair was messy and knotted and would be impossible to fix without being late. So I took a look at what I had pulled out of my bags and knew a messy ponytail would be perfect.

With my complexion verging on porcelain, I nixed liquid makeup and went with a thin line of black waterproof eyeliner and mascara over a light dusting of pink eye shadow while finishing off with touch of sheer pink lip-gloss. Less was definitely more.

Grabbing the dress, I ran back to the bedroom and rummaged through my bags, pulling out a pair of cute white and black Mary Jane styled heels that had a thin ankle strap that was white and matched the white toe of the shoes. The dress itself was a black mini dress with an all over pink and white skull butterfly print, a slight black sweetheart neckline with two small buttons in the middle, black straps that were connected at the neckline with black bows at each conjunction, and a thin, black mesh trim on the bottom. The back closed with a zipper and a black satin sash tied in the back, tightening the dress in the waist area.

When I finally had the dress and shoes on, I found a pair of the silver hoop earrings Alice had picked out and put them on. I took one last look in the bathroom mirror, did a quick bump, and made my way to the front door of the suite. Just as I was about to open the door, I saw my bags and remembered my necklace.

I pulled it out of the box, the diamonds hitting the light and refracting hundreds of rainbows throughout the suite. Quickly, I clasped it, admired the tiny, sparkling star, and hid the rest of my bags that were Cullen's gifts. They would wait until later. I still felt…nothing. Even after doing a quick bump in the bathroom before leaving.

Throughout the elevator ride and the long walk to the lobby, my mind was numb…my heart was numb. I felt the coke racing through my system, racing towards the wall of numbness - splattering and ricocheting. Though my heart was numb, it raced…thump, thump, thump. My mind was numb but thoughts, ideas, and images raced, becoming one giant blur.

"Jesus fucking Christ," someone muttered.

The curse stopped me, even though it was said under her breath. Rosalie was sitting in one of the sea green armchairs wearing a red and black plaid strapless mini dress with red heels that would break my neck, her wheat and gold hair cascaded down her tits. Scrolling through her phone and looking at me dead in the eyes, she smirked like the bitch she was- her red lips turned up at one side. I felt my lips scowl.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I sneered.

I watched as she poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue, considering her answer. A moment later, she shook her head and put her phone back in her small purse. Her body straightened like a cobra ready to strike and she walked over to me.

"Bella, you're fucked up on something, either chemically or mentally. I'm a gambling girl so I'm going to bet it's both. Has this lifestyle gotten to be too much for you?" Her voice dripped with honey and venom.

My eyes roamed all over her face before settling back on her ice blue eyes.

"Fuck you," I seethed through gritted teeth.

I quirked an eyebrow, daring a response, and when there was none, I walked off, leaving her scowling. My anger rapidly subsided as the clicks of my heels echoed off the flooring.

Further up, I noticed a long staircase that lead down to the lobby. I knew my balance would be off. The railing was black and as I descended down on the carpeted stairs, I noticed the chandelier above me. For a split second, I came close to losing my footing and heard Frosty behind me holding back her laughter. The glint from the crystals had captured my attention as they danced around in circles of pastel rainbows.

I felt a hand wrap around the nook of my elbow, gently pulling me. Alice's tiny face came into view with both eyebrows raised, silently questioning me if I was okay to walk.

"Bella…"

My head snapped up at the motherly voice, my eyes connecting with Esme's. She was wearing black dress pants, a shiny, silver tank with a v-neck line, and black and silver kitten heeled shoes. Her hair was back in a ponytail like mine.

I gathered my bearings, clutched my purse close, and squared my shoulders. It was difficult to keep my eyes focused, but I seemed to manage. Frosty stood next to Esme as they all waited for me to answer. I felt Alice pull my bottom lip out of the grip of my teeth.

"I'm fine. I woke up alone in the suite. Cullen was nowhere to be found, so I'm getting over being worried," I shakily answered.

Alice and Frosty instantly glanced a look at each other while Esme walked forward and wrapped her arms around me, patting my back like a mother consoles her frightened child.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure he's fine. Now, let us get downstairs and get this evening started. Shall we?"

She gently pushed, and I took a step. Alice hooked her elbow around mine for support. I noticed she was wearing black, low-rise capri pants, a teal, sweetheart neckline halter top, black wedges, and silver dangly earrings that looked like the metallic stringy tinsel used on Christmas trees. I felt out of place with my attire, but it was too late for me to go back and change.

Carlisle stood at the bottom of the staircase, watching me as the three women helped me down. He looked upon me disappointedly. A long, exaggerated sigh blew from his lips as he raked his hand through his blond hair.

Frosty immediately went to Emmett's side while Alice lingered next to me, reaching out for Jasper's hand. Esme joined her husband as we stood in the middle of the lobby next to a round table with a beautiful floral arrangement. I noticed the flooring was a dark brown with huge area rugs in hues of gold placed in designated areas. Jasper broke my scoping of the lobby.

"Bella, do you know where Cullen is?" he asked, his Southern accent thick.

"I was going to ask you guys," I replied, breaking my eye contact with him to scope out different parts of the lobby. I saw a sign that read "St. Regis Bar." Something told me they were in there.

"Well, he can't be too far. He wouldn't miss out on a night that's completely devoted to him."

We all turned around and saw Jake, Paul, and Embry walking down the last few steps of the staircase. All the men, except Carlisle, who was wearing khaki pants and a black polo shirt, were dressed in jeans, black boots, and casual button down shirts in different colors. With the sight of Jake and Paul, my mind quickly flashed back to the night I saw them in the parking lot, and I held back a giggle by giving a short, forced cough. Jake still didn't know I knew.

Upon seeing me, Jake nodded, grimacing at the sight of my glassy eyes. His stare scrutinized me, automatically judging me. I didn't give a fuck, for in that moment all I cared about was in the St. Regis Bar. I turned to Esme and pointed in the direction of the bar. She looked around me and raised her eyebrows upon seeing the sign for the bar.

"I'm going in to see if I can find him," I said to her, feeling my heart beat a million times a second as I anticipated what I would see once I found him.

Fortunately or unfortunately, before I could make my way to the bar, I heard his voice and her throaty laugh. It felt like fingernails on a chalkboard. In front of me, I heard gasps, murmurs, and "what the fuck." My eyes instantly shot up to Carlisle, looks of confusion, disappointment, and something unreadable played on his face. I was so intensely focused on everyone else that I hadn't noticed my fingers rapidly playing with the mesh trim at the bottom of my dress and my other hand tensing and relaxing around my purse.

When I wasn't focusing on someone or something, my eyes were bouncing around from place to place. I should have been happy, enjoying everything and everybody, but it appeared my emotions were drowning out the glorious high that should've been ravaging my body.

Alice moved in front me, as if shielding me, and watched Cullen and Josie or Tanya, whichever name people used. He saw the lot of us awaiting him, devilishly smirking at the surprised and irritated looks. He wore black jeans belted with a silver studded belt, a simple white t-shirt, and his usual black Doc Martens. Josie wore a simple, gauzy, black summer dress that had a floral print, white, strappy sandals, and a simple diamond necklace with matching diamond stud earrings. Her hair was down with one side draped over her left shoulder, and her makeup was simple and natural.

"Tanya, what are you doing here?" Alice fiercely asked, her little, balled up fists on her hips.

I spoke before she or Cullen could.

"Alice, this is the Josie that's been calling him for the past couple of weeks," I disconnectedly told her.

Confusion played on her face as she turned to me and then slowly turned back to face them. Carlisle spoke before Alice could.

"Son, you have known she was coming, and you didn't bother mentioning it to anyone?" he asked, standing with one hand in his pants pocket while the other scratched his temple.

Cullen chewed on the inside of his left cheek, rocking back on his heels, surveying the situation and calculating his response. He dislodged his cheek from his teeth, slowly licked the corner of his mouth, and snorted.

"I thought this was my birthday and that I could invite whoever the fuck I wanted," he said, pointing his finger in the area we all stood in.

Carlisle eyed his son with carefully. My eyeballs zipped back and forth between the two, like a tennis match set to the highest level of fast forward. Josie stood quietly next to Cullen with her hand flatly splayed on his abdomen, displaying an air of possessiveness. Her total disregard for me set me on fire as it did Alice, too. But both of us remained silent as saying something would make matters worse.

Carlisle closed his eyes and sighed, giving in to this son, his hands in front of him.

"Fine. It would have been considerate to have known she was coming. Let's get on with this freak show," Carlisle replied, shaking his head and motioning towards the main entrance and exit of the hotel.

Cullen nodded for me to take my place on his other side by holding out his right arm. My skin crawled, my heart raced, and I had ten million images and thoughts zooming in my head. There was much I wanted to rattle off, but I took my place beside him, feeling his hand firmly implanted at the small of my back. His nose airily brushed the column of my neck, slowly seeking my ear. He softly raked his teeth on my lobe, breathing his whiskey-laden breath on my skin. I set my mouth in a tight line as the stench curled its way upward, assaulting my nose. The coke rushing through my system made my senses acute.

Before he spoke, the light from the chandelier above caught the diamonds in my necklace, causing Cullen to pull away a fraction to inspect the intrusion. I saw the corners of his lips quiver in amusement at the twinkling star.

"That's a nice little trinket you have there. I have been trying to find a word for what you mean in my life and couldn't think of one. Now, you are wearing what I've been trying to think of- you're the bright, twinkling star in my life. Thank you," he whispered in my ear, his tone full of sentimental honesty.

I turned my face just enough that my lips brushed his. Our lips barely touched as they danced in the faintest of kisses. His tongue airily moved over my bottom lip, stopping to give the corner of my mouth a light, chaste kiss. Josie had twisted the front of Cullen's shirt in her fist, even though she had a saccharin smile plastered across her face.

"Did you buy the necklace yourself?" Cullen asked.

"Yes," I hoarsely answered, clearing my throat, not understanding why he asked.

He nodded and started walking towards the exit.

"Wait!" Alice shouted.

Everyone stopped and looked back at her.

"I'm so sorry, but I changed the plans. We're having dinner here in the hotel and then getting into a Hummer limo to go over to The Masquerade," she answered, her voice pleading.

Cullen rolled his eyes, and Carlisle noncommittally shrugged. Frosty asked Alice where we would be eating.

"The hotel has a restaurant called "Paces 88 American Bistro." It's really pretty and elegant."

Cullen muttered he didn't want pretty and elegant. I thought a steakhouse that played country music and had peanuts thrown on the floor would have suited him better. I thought the only place where I would blend in would be at the club.

I watched as everyone gathered up gift wrapped boxes and gift bags that I hadn't noticed from beside the table with the floral arrangement. I felt like ass for leaving my gifts in the suite.

"Bella, where are your gifts?" Josie asked, licking her lips as she turned her body in towards Cullen. He nudged her in the side, causing her to back away a bit. I was frozen, afraid to say anything, and my brain was having issues concentrating, so I stared down at my shoes.

"It doesn't matter," he softly replied.

His hand tugged on mine. I looked over and saw they were walking to the restaurant. Cullen looked over his shoulder, pinching his eyebrows, most likely trying to figure out why I'm out of it. Without anymore delay, I put one foot in front of the other and walked beside him. He looked like the rock star he really was.

Once we entered the area of the restaurant, after what seemed like an eternity of walking and hearing Josie whispering in Cullen's ear and them laughing, I broke apart from his grasp, walked over to Esme, who was standing next to Frosty, Emmett, and Jasper. Alice and Carlisle were talking to the hostess. Jake, John Paul, and Embry stood beside us, chattering amongst themselves. Cullen and Josie were cheek to cheek, as she whispered something in his ear with her hand lightly framing his jawbone, his arm firmly planted on her hip with his arm around her waist.

Weirdness fell upon me. I couldn't place it as the coke skewed my awareness. When I felt my lips begin to twitch and my eyes well up, I tore my eyes from them, only to find Rose staring at me with brutal hostility. Once she saw my face, my expression, her eyes softened a bit. She cut them over to Cullen and…her. I didn't follow her line of vision.

A white tissue appeared in front of my lowered face, a gesture full of caring and empathy. I easily took the offering, turning my back to face the wall, and started dabbing underneath my eyes. Why did I even care?

After drying my eyes, I stuck the tissue in my purse and felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Jake kindly smiling. He squeezed me gently to him, holding the hug for a few moments before a rough cough behind us interrupted. Cullen was there, alone, standing with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was stonily emotionless.

"Bella, why are you over here and not with me?" he robotically asked.

Seconds after his question, a tidal wave of nerves crashed against me, feeling like the sick twisting of my innards that I had felt for the last week or so. I knew this night was going to add more surprises.

I balled my fists, pulled away from Jake, and leaned into Cullen.

"I got tired of being the third wheel," I retorted, gritting my teeth.

When I pulled back, Cullen's lip twitched in the corner. I didn't know whether it was from trying not to smirk or from hiding his irritation. He huffed, scratched his chin, nodded at me, and leaned down to me.

"I understand. I'm sorry. Will you come back over? I promise not to exclude you anymore," he whispered, his voice sounding smooth like the alcohol he consumed.

"You shouldn't have to begin with, but yes, I'll rejoin you," I answered as I habitually leaned into him, breathing in the heavy stench of whiskey.

His hands eased around my waist, pulled me in tighter, and kissed the crown of my head. His heart was thumping loudly, but at a normal beat, as I closed my eyes, and leaned more into him. He was warm, but his body was not the mass that it had been when I first joined them. In this moment, it was hard for me to recall the last time I had seen him eat. I hoped he would eat something tonight.

Someone behind me gently tapped my arm, so I looked up from the comfort of Cullen's chest and saw Alice standing there. I felt him lean his cheek on top of my head.

"Hey, they are ready to seat us," she calmly said, giving us both a slight smile.

"Thank you, Al."

I watched as she turned around and took her place beside Jasper, who was holding the multicolored balloon covered gifts. Hard, loud footsteps approached us from behind, as Josie stopped just shy of Cullen, annoyingly tapping her foot.

He kissed my lips tenderly, grazed my cheek with his nose, entwined his fingers with mine, and turned around to her. Josie's blue eyes zeroed in on me, furrowed her eyebrows, and set her lips in a tight smile. Arrogantly, I laid my head on Cullen's shoulder; he immediately pulled me in tighter. My hand splayed across his abdomen and moved lower to the top of his jeans. He reached his hand out. She grabbed it, gripping until her knuckles were white, as he didn't touch her anywhere else. Lowering my head, I smiled, big.

The hotel restaurant was perfect. I was happy Alice had picked it, and once Cullen saw it, he liked it too.

It was evening now, the sun a dimmed orange against the Atlanta skyline. The sparkle of the chandeliers played off Venetian plaster, casting a low-lit ambiance for the dinner crowd amongst the hues of champagne, taupe, and mineral green of the restaurant. Floor-to-ceiling windows framed views of lush, landscaped gardens. Two murals of Piedmont Park stood highlighted on the wall as beautiful ivory upholstery complimented the dark wood detailing of the room. It gave the feeling of understated profusion.

As we walked through the main hub of the establishment, on our way to the private dining room, holding Cullen's hand, my eyes took in every aspect as they felt on alert. Framed on some of the floor-to-ceiling windows were beautiful lace curtains that would have looked beautiful during the main hours of daylight, giving the earthy tones of the restaurant a radiant layer of natural light. Double-sided sconces hung all throughout the dining rooms, adding to the evening romance.

When we reached the dining room we would occupy, Cullen walked directly to the head of the table, with the background being one of the floor-to-ceiling windows with the beautiful lace curtains. He motioned for me to sit on one side and for Josie to sit on another, facing me. I shyly smirked at the duly noted scowl on her face, refusing to hide her bitchiness. Carlisle sat at the other opposing end of the table, facing his son, as Esme sat to the right of him, while Embry sat across from her. The other couples filled up the table, sitting across from one another, giving themselves legroom to play footsy underneath the table. From the look on Emmett's face, he had already started.

The hostess placed our menus in front of us and said our waitress, Carmen, would be with us shortly. Their list of exquisite wines tempted me. However, I knew I would be drinking more alcohol as the night forged on, so I settled on ordering water when the waitress got here. I looked over at Cullen, deep in concentration over the menu, and wondered what he would be getting.

"Hello, everyone, I'm Carmen. What can I get everyone to drink?" a cheery female asked as she entered the room.

A pretty girl with tan skin, dark chocolate colored hair with caramel streaks, honey colored eyes, and a glowing, white smile strolled up next to Cullen. I gawked as I saw Josie giving the waitress the stink eye, her manners taking a leave of absence. No one else noticed.

Cullen ordered a bourbon and Coke. Josie ordered vodka on the rocks. Alice ordered a glass of Cabernet as Jasper ordered a Coke. Frosty and Esme ordered Chardonnay while Emmett and Carlisle each ordered Guinness. I was the last.

"Just a water, please."

Carmen hesitated for a second before writing down my order, but not before I heard Josie whisper under her breath. "Poor, white trash."

Apparently, no one else overheard her scabrous remark. I stared at her from underneath my lashes, pretending I was browsing the menu. Failing at being inconspicuous, I watched as she feathered her fingertips over the top of Cullen's arm, and I noticed him moving marginally away. It stopped her movement, making her cut her eyes up from the menu. If she could have killed him, she would have.

Girlish giggling and snorting aroused me from my "stake out." Laying down the menu, I saw Jasper and Alice looking over their menus. Jasper was telling Alice the entrees were too fancy for a man of his stature. Esme and Carlisle joined in their carefree conversation, as did Emmett. The only person paying attention to our end was Frosty, mainly staring at Josie.

"So, Tanya, when did you decide to start going by Josie?" Rosalie was on a mission, for what I didn't know.

Josie tapped the side of her menu with her perfectly manicured nail, smirked, and leaned over to look at Rosalie.

"I've always been called Josie, just not in front of people, always behind closed doors. And Josephine is my middle name," she replied, staring at me as she spoke the "closed doors" part of the sentence.

Rosalie tapped her chin, tongued the inside of her cheek and huffed, finding humor in the situation.

"Since the last time we saw you, what you have been doing?" Alice chimed in, resting her clasped hands under her jaw.

"Not much, honestly. Just going to work and school," Josie answered as if bored with the question, flipping her hair over her shoulder and shrugging them.

Alice snorted as she heard Rosalie mutter something under her breath. Seconds later, my phone vibrated in my purse. I pulled it out and saw it was from Frosty, saying, "The cunt must have majored in being a whore."

A laughing cough tore through me. Cullen looked over at me with a quirked eyebrow. Josie rolled her eyes. I quickly dropped my phone back in my purse.

"Everyone, I'm back," Carmen announced as she walked in carrying a tray with our drinks.

Once she placed my water in front of me, I started guzzling the cold liquid, not realizing how parched I had been. Carmen had begun taking orders for appetizers and entrees; I hadn't once looked at what was on the menu. At first glance, I didn't recognize any of it, until I saw a Caesar salad, either with shrimp or chicken. Scanning the entrees, and like the appetizers, nothing was familiar. Finally, when I reached the bottom I saw "Steak and Frites," otherwise known as steak and French fries. My order would be chicken Caesar salad, steak, and fries. How…ordinary.

Esme, Rosalie, and Alice got the shrimp Caesar salad and the organic young chicken that came with okra risotto, gold beets, and asparagus. Carlisle ordered duck and shrimp that consisted of duck confit, white shrimp, wild mushroom grits, and a cabernet reduction. Emmett, Jasper, and Jake ordered the beef short rib that had roasted corn whipped potatoes, carrots, and asparagus. Embry and Paul had the pork tenderloin. Our end of the table was last.

When I told Carmen that I wanted the chicken Caesar salad and the steak and fries, Josie burst out laughing. Cullen looked over at her snarling, which only made her quiet down to a low chuckle. He ordered the goat cheese tart and Angus beef tenderloin, while Josie ordered the Maryland crab salad and Tasmanian Ocean trout.

Carmen collected our menus and kindly told us our orders would be out shortly. After she left, I placed my napkin in my lap, preparing for my meal. Clinking and shuffling of ice in a glass echoed across from me. I looked up to see Josie eye-fucking Cullen as she sipped her vodka, sucking on the ice cube as it sat on the edge of the glass and swirling her tongue around the cold, frozen liquid. Cullen shifted in his chair, biting his bottom lip. I had to turn away, focus on something else.

So, I decided to take in the room.

The walls were the same champagne colored Venetian plaster as the rest of the place. Two paintings hung on the same side of the room, separated by a column, showed bowls of fruit- a different fruit in each one. We sat in plush, wing backed, ivory leather dining chairs that were complemented by a taupe colored marble table. The same beautiful lace curtains covered the window behind Cullen, showing a beautiful, summer sunset- the sky burning with deep gold and orange, offset by wisps of clouds.

Black place mats sat before us, holding our drinking glasses and silverware, and soon our food. My perusal of the room didn't last long, but long enough to escape the game that the other two were playing, which had ended by the time I was done. My mouth still felt like there was cotton stuffed down my throat. Not all the water in my glass had quenched my thirst. I had horrible cottonmouth.

Carmen placed my salad in front of me, and I found myself not hungry. She refilled my water, moving on to refill a few glasses of wine. I picked up the salad fork, poked at the pieces of grilled chicken, and ignored the small tub of dressing sitting beside the bowl.

I paced myself with the salad. Feeling my emotions calm down, they slowly became replaced with the feeling of love. Love for the salad, my water, friendly love for Jasper next to me, and the conversation he was having with Alice. I was still riding the coke high.

During the course of the meal, I had settled into a conversation with Alice and Jasper- ignoring Cullen and Josie, even though, I felt his foot graze my leg. Briefly, I played footsy back.

The steak was phenomenal, and the fries were just normal French fries, nothing fancy about them. By the time I finished my dinner and waited for dessert, I had to use the restroom. When I got up to go, Cullen cleared his throat, wanting to get my attention. I saw him carefully slide his hand in his right pocket of his jeans and pull out a baggie of powder. He motioned for me to kiss him. As I did so, he slipped the baggie in my hand, closing my fingers around it. After the kiss, he tapped the end of my nose and smiled crookedly.

On my way back from the restroom, my eyes wandered and stared at the chandeliers, watching their twinkle. Even the wall sconces twinkled. It wasn't until then that I realized that my high from the last bump had faded away measurably. I floated along with a "love" for everything. I needed to talk to everyone. I needed Cullen to hold my hand and give no attention to Josie. I wanted to go watch girlie Rom-Coms with Alice while we lay in that big bed in the suite, eating a huge bowl of fattening popcorn. I wanted to call my father and ask him why he had kept me so damn sheltered and why there hadn't been any trace of my mother.

When I entered the dining room, Cullen was opening presents and everyone else was enjoying desserts. As I was nearing Carlisle, I slowed my pace, bent down, and gave a chaste peck on his cheek, thanking him for giving me this opportunity. As I drew up, I saw the odd expression playing on his face and the side-glance he gave Esme. He knew and she knew, but I didn't care.

Passing the others, I saw everyone was eating cheesecake doused in cherries. My piece was the size of my hand, way too big. Jasper stood up and pulled my chair out for me, letting me pull it back in as I sat down. Cullen was opening Alice's gifts, as I noted the colorful balloon gift bag. He pulled out two new pairs of jean, two t-shirts from his favorite bands, and a new black belt. He thanked Jasper and her, and placed the clothing back in the bag.

"Shithead, you're eating my gift," Rosalie sarcastically quipped.

"Well thanks, frigid bitch," Cullen retorted back.

Jasper, Emmett, and the three other guys said their gift to him was the bar tab tonight at the club. That made him grin wider than I had ever seen him do. He lifted up another bag, looked at the tag, and looked at Esme, smiling. Inside the bag were strings for his new guitar, and guitar picks a different color from mine. These were dark green. Carlisle told him the bigger gift would wait for tomorrow. There was one last bag; I knew it was hers.

Her fucking gift was an eight by ten from photo of them, embraced and staring at each other, smiling. The only reason I knew that was because I saw it when he pulled it out. Cullen poked the inside of his cheek, looked over at Josie, who was smiling like the cat who ate the canary, and tipped the frame towards her.

"Don't you like it?" she sweetly asked, batting her lashes and smiling as she blushed.

Cullen waited a few seconds. We all sat still and eerily quiet, waiting. His sudden movement made most of jump as he slammed the frame back in the bag, seething as he did it.

"What did you hope to accomplish by giving me that? You know your place in my life. This…gift isn't going to change anything," he said, breathing heavily and gripping the edge of the table until his knuckles were white.

Josie sat stupefied, unsure of what to do or say. I have to say, I relished in the moment. I loved watching her squirm, being reprimanded by the person she wanted, craved. It was then that Carmen strolled through, stopping as she noticed the strained silence. Esme saw that she had come back in, so she motioned Carmen over to speak with her.

"Oh sure, Mrs. Cullen. It wouldn't be a problem," Carmen answered, pleasantly smiling. She walked over to Cullen, grabbed the gift bag that held Josie's gift, and then began removing the empty dishes.

She removed the dessert plates, empty pie pan, and the offending bag. Nearing Carlisle, she balanced the dishes on her arm, gave him the check, and told him to let her know when he's ready. He already had his credit card out; she took the binder back with her.

Esme stood up, tucked in her chair, and walked over to her son. Conversation among the others had resumed. I sat numbly in my chair, watching Josie try not to cry, even though it was plain to see she was embarrassed…or maybe hurt or both. Esme leaned down next to Cullen.

"Honey, I'm going to take the bags back up to my room. You can get them tomorrow. Is that okay?" she asked as she combed her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him.

Cullen nodded, resting his chin in nook of his thumb and index finger as his elbow rested on the table. She took the bags, stopped to tell Carlisle where she was going, and left the room. Carmen came back with Carlisle's credit card and after dinner mints, depositing one in front each person. She told us to have a good night and "happy birthday" to Cullen. He tightly smiled and waved her away, dismissing her.

Alice felt the tension like we all did.

"Everyone, why don't we leave here and go get into the Hummer limo? It's right out front, go through the main entrance," she gleefully chirped, clasping her hands and brightly smiling.

Being one of the first to get up and leave, I couldn't help the smile plastered across my face and wasn't bothered when I felt someone graze my naked arm. Rosalie towered over me as we walked side by side.

"You're high as a fucking kite again. I don't blame you. Tonight has felt like a goddamn bipolar-coaster. I can't keep up. Thankfully, we're going to the Masquerade. We can all get fucked up, listen to some good bands, and party. I'm excited to see what happens after we leave, though. Cullen's birthday celebrations are never without some kind of sexual debauchery," she rattled off, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

I felt that same sickening flip-flop in my belly, but this time, it was mixed with a tinge of excitement. For as much as I was nervous, a large part of me found all of this exhilarating. It felt as though my moral being was in a tug-o-war: sheltered side wanted to run and hide, but the curious side wanted to explore, discover my likes and dislikes, the desired and the undesired.

"What are you thinking about, little Polly Anna?" Rosalie whispered, nudging my arm as we waited outside for the others.

I bit my finger between my teeth, smiling mischievously at her.

"Whatever society deems taboo, I want to drown in it- anything and everything," I huskily answered.

Her perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in surprise. Her eyes widened as her mouth opened and closed, not knowing what to say. After a few seconds, she regained her composure, cleared her throat, and imitated flattening the bottom of her dress.

"Well, that was unexpected. I see Mr. Masen has already corrupted you, even though I don't think he knows how much," Rosalie replied, looking off into the distance, her voice holding no emotion.

Before I could say anything, an arm forcefully pulled me, making me collide with a firm body behind me. Hot breath wisped down my neck as soft lips trailed up to my ear.

"There's my girl, my only girl."

Cullen possessively wrapped both arms around me.

"Okay, you two. Stop please," Carlisle kindly reprimanded, patting his son on the shoulder.

The long, stretch, black Hummer limo pulled up in front of us, stopping right at Cullen and me. Once stopped, a portly Hispanic man who called himself Niall, got out and ambled over to the door. He shook all of our hands before we entered. Cullen let me in first, holding my hand as I entered. Ducking my head, I slowly made my way to the back.

Esme and Carlisle were the last ones in. Josie, somehow, wound up on the other side of Cullen, resting her hand on top his thigh. His arm was around my shoulders as his other hand played with the mesh lining at the bottom of my dress. He leaned in, whispering.

"I don't think I've told you how sexy and rock'n'roll you look tonight in that dress. If there weren't other people in here, I would get down on my knees and bury my face underneath the skirting of your dress, right between your legs."

Clenching my thighs, I breathed raggedly and closed my eyes. Images of him down below, up under the skirt of my dress, finding nothing obstructing his tongue's path. I gulped back air but only wound up slightly choking.

"Be careful with your thoughts, my pretty girl," he cooed. His voice was decadent, like dark silk sheets on smooth, bare bodies or ribbons of dark chocolate streaming down white, porcelain skin.

I looked up at him in mild shock.

"Yes, my pretty girl, I know what you were thinking about. The thoughts and images…they entice me," he sighed against my neck. His breath felt like melted candle wax trailing down the delicate skin of my neck.

Cullen kissed my cheek and then turned his attention to whatever conversation his band was having. Esme, Alice, and Frosty were in a detailed discussion about the latest trends in fashion. Carlisle played on his phone, and Josie sat tucked into Cullen's side, trying to listen in on the other women. I knew if I went and sat next to them, I would be included, but she wouldn't. In that moment, it dawned on me that I was in the exact same environment that Josie was in a year or so ago. And I found myself feeling a small amount of sympathy for her. She probably thought she was coming back to what they had, but found out that I'm a little more than just another notch in his belt.

The moment was fleeting, erased instantly when I saw her hand creeping his up thigh. Cullen wasn't paying any attention as his band held his attention. Her hand froze before it got higher as it made contact with my leg that I crossed over into his lap. When she snapped her face up to mine, blue meeting brown, she found no expression. My leg across his lap was enough of a signal. His hand kneaded the soft skin on my outer thigh, moving up towards my hip.

Josie resolved her situation by moving back in her seat and airily grazing her knee with his. When I looked up, I found Cullen staring down at me, playfully smiling. Minutes later, he realized I wasn't going to explain myself, so he half-heartedly laugh, running his fingers higher up my leg.

"So, tell me about this club we're going to?" I asked him, tired of sitting in silence.

"Um…I think it used to be a mill at the turn of the century. It's old as hell, but a cool place to perform," he answered back, pinching his forehead in concentration.

"I believe there's three floors-Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. Your main acts perform in the Heaven room. It's a stone building. When you walk in, the floor is concrete. However, the walls are stone and the staircases and railings are wood as is the flooring in the Heaven room. I like it."

I nodded. The building sounded interesting, and I couldn't wait to see it as it sounded historical. The limo came to stop. Alice looked out the window.

"We're here, guys and girls. The real fun begins," she wickedly smiled, rubbing her hands together.

"You ready?" Cullen asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I responded.

Everyone filed out when Niall opened the door. Cullen escorted us to the door, letting me out first. Josie was before me, getting help from Embry, which she unhappily took. Once birthday boy was out, a bodyguard met us, and escorted us up a flight of stairs that were on the side of the building that lead to a metal door, which opened up to a huge room. It must've been the Heaven room.

Once inside, there was a swell of people listening to some band, whose music I had never heard. The bodyguard told Cullen happy birthday and went back to work. We made our way to the bar; I could see Cullen's eyes glaze over. This was the beginning of the end.

During the course of the night, fueled by gallons of booze and drugs, Cullen kept Josie and me close at hand. Neither of us strayed too far. I sucked screwdrivers all night as Josie stuck with her vodka on the rocks. We left the Heaven room and made our way down to Purgatory, where we stayed.

Once the bands had finished playing, the members wound up amongst our group. They were friends with Cullen and his band. And they brought along their girlfriends and wives. I didn't know any of the bands. A couple of the guys knew Josie, but they weren't exactly thrilled to see her. They all accepted me by buying me a round of Jaeger shots.

Most of the wives and girlfriends were normal looking like me; except they were a bit more…it was something I couldn't put my finger on. Only a few were actually nice to me and really wanted to have a conversation with me. The others mainly talked to Alice, Esme, or Frosty.

Cullen let me slip away a few times to mingle with the other girls; Josie never once left his side. We all snorted line after line after line of coke. Everyone was talkative, happy, and energetic. The amazingly, lovely energy was freely flowing around all of us.

An hour before the club closed, Emmett got the great idea for everyone to go back to Cullen's suite to continue the party. Cullen yelled a "fuck yeah" and bumped fists with his brother. By that point, I was exhausted.

Somehow, everyone fit in the Hummer limo. There had to have been twenty-five people in the group now. I leaned my head onto Cullen's arm, desperately trying to stay awake. Everyone in my field of vision clustered together, blending into one being. My eyes were drooping, and my system was crashing. I felt a nudge on my arm.

I managed to raise my head and looked over to see who it was. One of the guys from the other band was offering me two, little white lines on a compact mirror. In the haze, I couldn't decide if I really wanted it, but took the rolled up dollar bill and snorted.

In mere moments, I was no longer crashing. I felt vibrant…and I wanted sex-lots of it….with Cullen. I crawled into his lap, grinding my crotch into his jeans, feeling him already hard. Everyone in the limo faded away. All I knew in that moment was his hands, his lips, and his cock.

"Bella…oh my god!" I heard someone scream. I didn't let it stop me, I wanted sex. But he stopped it, saying not here. A whining moan slipped through my lips, I sagged against him in defeat.

"Bella, I promise, we'll fuck," he crooned into my ear, kissing my jaw.

I nodded and slid back into the space next to him.

We were a raucous bunch walking through the lobby of the hotel. The front desk people sneered and told us to quiet down. Several people snickered and coughed, trying to pipe down.

On the ride up in the elevator, I sucked on Cullen's neck as Josie kissed his lips, both of our hands roamed over his body. I looked out the corner of my eye in the middle of our making out, and saw several of the other people were doing the same thing. Jasper had Alice wrapped around his waist. Emmett had Rosalie pinned up against the wall of the elevator, her leg hitched around him.

The other guys and their wives and girlfriends were tangled in amongst us. When the elevator chimed at its arrival at our floor, we loosely disentangled ourselves, long enough for me to open the door to the suite. Once inside, everything became a blur.

Alcohol flowed, more lined were snorted, some things were smoked, and music thumped throughout the building. In the jungle of drugs, booze, and bodies, I managed to stay beside Cullen; Josie was strangely nowhere in sight. But another girl had implanted herself next to us. I think it was the girlfriend of one of the other band guys.

Dancing and laughing turned into some of the girls stripping. Thankfully, by that point, Esme and Carlisle had left, saying they wanted their own private party. Rosalie and Alice joined the other girls in getting naked- I did not. With judgment impaired, other men were roving their hands over Rosalie and Alice and Emmett and Jasper were touching the other girls. Cullen was kissing the other girl while running his finger up my inner thigh.

Time slowed down; we all lost concept of it. I had never experienced such an escape from my inhibitions. The inexperienced side of me wanted to run while other part lavished in the decadent atmosphere. Cullen, the other girl, and I found ourselves on the main bed of the suite. We were naked, manipulating each other's body. Other couples had started fucking already; some were in our room. I watched Jasper bend Alice over at the end of our bed, her face planted in the mattress as he fucked her from behind.

Emmett slammed Rosalie into the wall, her legs resting on his shoulders as his face was buried in between. Her head rolled back as she moaned. I felt Cullen slip into me, stretching me. He slipped in and out, building to a faster pace. I turned my head to the side and saw his hand was fingering the other girl. Her body was bowed back, howls of pleasure blending with the other noises of sex.

There twisted bodies and limbs everywhere. A few heads bobbed up and down, orally pleasing another body. Everything was sensory overload. A fingertip covered in white powder was placed under my nose; I snorted and was sent soaring into another orbit.

Looking down, I saw Cullen moving in and out, slamming into me. I felt the ripples and the pressure- I was close to coming. He felt it also and started stimulating my clit. My body crashed into his. My hand clawing at his body, I dug my feet into the bed and craned my head into the pillow. In the middle of the orgasm, I was exhilarated. I loved every experience tonight as the other part of me warred against the other. For everything that he pushed me to experience, I loved him for it, but I also hated him for it. What would the morning bring?

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