A/N: Many thanks to my beta adt216, pre-readers Tinker_bell74 and Cullenbychoice

Sorry this chapter is short, but I couldn't get anymore out and I think it says everything that needed to be done and thought.

Chapter 22

"In the biblical sense and sensibility
Let me know you
I'll kiss that smile off your face just say when
Just say when.
I'm not afraid to say "I love you"
Any more than I used to be babe I am scared to death
To fall in love (with you)
All these pick-up lines from hell
Icebreakers infernal
From a heart so black and blue
Only for you
Just say when again.
I'm not afraid to say, "I love you."
Any more than I used to be, babe.
I am scared to death.
I am scared to death to fall in love with you.
With you.
I'm not afraid to say, "I love you."
Anymore than I used to be, babe.
I am scared to death.
I am scared to death to fall in love.
I'm not afraid to admit I adore you
Any more than I was before babe I am scared to death
To fall in love with you
With you.
I'm scared to death.
And you're sweet like poison." –Scared To Death, HIM

C.

Heaviness pressed into my leg through my jeans. It seemed as if the little blue box wanted free from its denim prison. Or did the item in the box want freedom to hang freely from Bella's neck? Her hand still lightly swept up and down my thigh, but stopped when she felt the hard corner of the box in the pocket of my jeans. The lovely, silk smooth face of hers looked up at me, pinched in confusion with lips parted just a fraction.

The corner of my mouth lifted into a smirk, causing her more puzzlement with her forehead pinching deeper, as I pressed my lips upon her brow. My left hand took hers and laid them over my heart.

"It's a special trinket for you that I bought earlier. I had words planned to say to you when I presented it to you, but they escape me now. So, I'm going to have to wing it," I said, smiling when she graced me with a shy one in return. Bella turned her face into my chest and balled up my shirt into her hand, the one over my heart.

"Are you ready to see your surprise?" I asked her, all the while knowing she was.

"Of course," she replied.

With my free hand, I dug the Tiffany's box out of my pocket, placing it on her thigh. Immediately, Bella went for the grab, but I stopped her. I did want to say some things to her.

"Bella, you know I adore you, and if you don't I will try my damnedest to show you. As I said earlier, I never loved anyone outside of my family and the idea of romantic love scared me more than the idea of dying. Death doesn't scare me as it is inevitable. Falling in love, trusting someone, and wanting to share a life with someone scares me to death. To be honest, there isn't much trust in me for others."

What I wanted to say to her next went with her gift, so I opened the box and watched her eyes widen in surprise at the white gold blossom key necklace that had diamonds following the pattern of a flower blossom. Bella pushed off from my chest, nearly tearing the box apart to get the necklace out so it could be placed around her neck.

"Bella, before I place this necklace around your delicate neck, you should know what each part of this means to me. The diamonds represent dewdrops on the bloom. The bloom represents the flower that pushed its way through miles and miles of cold, hard dirt and the white gold symbolizes the white, pure light of an early morning sun across a barren tundra. This key holds everything you are to me. You are the beautiful, glimmering flower with fresh dew that grew in a place where nothing else has and brought light into my dark world. You put this all together and you have the key that could open one door at a time. One of those doors being my heart."

I held the necklace between my fingers as it dangled back and forth as if it were a pendulum. Bella had tears crawling slowly down her face, but there was nothing sad about them, for she gave me a wide, bright smile to accompany her tears. Her arms brushed the underside of her hair up as she waited for me to give the symbol of what she was to me its new home.

The key hung loosely below the hollow of her neck and it twinkled brightly in the glow of the candlelight. Bella fingered the key as she chewed the inside of her cheek while staring intently at the bottom of the shiny trinket. The corner of her mouth twisted up as the rest of her face was held in a pensive state. Wanting to know what she was thinking, I tipped up her chin with the pad of my finger.

"What's going on inside that head of yours?" I asked her.

A few seconds after asking, Bella finally lifted her eyes to mine, twisting her lip around with her teeth. I freed the plump flesh, as I wanted her to answer.

"I was thinking back to what you said a few minutes ago about being scared to be in love. I couldn't help but feel the same way. I've never experienced two people being in love. It wasn't ever in my house, with my mom not being there and my dad never wanting to seriously date anyone. It's a foreign concept to me also, but I can't deny what I feel for you any longer. I guess we'll learn as we go."

She worried over admitting she felt the same way I did. How could I fault her for feeling the same? Once she saw I had no hesitations, her bright smile appeared once more on her face as she drew me in for a kiss.

Pulling me in tighter with her arm wrapped around my waist, I gathered her up in my arms. With one arm moving underneath her hair, my thumb brushed her jaw line. I tried putting every emotion for her into that kiss, but it just wasn't possible.

As I kissed her, a whisper breathed throughout my mind and body. It offered a numbing warmth that I constantly craved. Bella's tongue aggressively pushed against mine, helping minutely to push the whisper away. But it never entirely disappeared. It sat in a corner, coiled up like a rattlesnake shaking its tail - remaining harmless until it could lash out but not letting you forget it was there. I hoped my love for her wouldn't be my undoing.

We enjoyed each other's lips for several minutes before separating, after which I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. The room was still illuminated by the candle and I watched its shadows dance along the wall while she lightly kissed my chest. I had us propped against another wall.

In the stillness after our purging of emotions and her getting the key to my heart, literally and figuratively, we were comfortable in not saying a word as it was enough for it just to be us. My mind felt a little at peace, the static had dulled to a low drone. Bella tapped my chest and started laughing. Her reaction confused me.

"What has you amused?"

"I was sitting here thinking about the first week I came to work for you all. I was a bit frightened you, not because you looked menacing or anything, but because you the sexiest man I'd ever seen and my reaction to you scared me. The lust you incited within me was insanely scary - for no one had ever made me yearn that much. Luckily, I got over my fear."

During her explanation, I began laughing to myself as I remembered when she first came onboard too.

"Bella, I have to admit that I secretly adored you, still do, but your simple, natural beauty and your innocence drew me to you. All the while I knew I should keep my distance but I couldn't."

She kissed me quick and hard before sitting up on her knees. Her smile was infectious. I couldn't stop one from appearing on my face. We just stared at each other and I knew I had to tell her I didn't want anyone else.

"I never thought the words I'm about to say would ever fall from my lips, but they feel right and are what I want. I don't want to be with anyone else sexually, only you."

Bella's smile faded a bit and my heart sank. This between us wouldn't last if she wanted it open.

"What's wrong with me telling you I want us to be faithful?"

She sighed and wiped her hands on her legs.

"Cullen, I can't just start fucking you. Yes, we said we loved each other and that makes me happy, but honestly, I don't trust you."

She had every right to not trust me and I didn't hold it against her.

"I know you don't, but I can promise you that you'll find me with no other girl. I swear to it."

She nodded and said she didn't want any other man. As words of commitment fell from our lips, I knew I was lying. There was another girl, one that I loved just as much as Bella, and she called for me always, even in that moment. Slight tremors crawled inside me.

Bella pressed her lips to mine; naturally I reacted. We softly, languidly kissed as I rested my palm on her ass, and she wound her fingers into my hair. A girl with soft, glowing, gold eyes drifted into my mind, radiating warmth that I knew all too well. We deepened the kissing as I tried to quell the pressure weighing in on me. My past reared up. All the girls, the drinking, the drugs teased and taunted. Everything was shaded in hues of gold as the girl laughed, spreading her warmth to allure me.

My hands, lips, my body pressed firmer into the beauty that I held in my arms and Bella pressed harder. Her hair fell over my face and the scent of vanilla rushed into my senses. The girl with the golden eyes slid slowly back into the hazy corner where she resided, but her aching, glowing warmth didn't fade. I was falling in deep and I only hoped I would come out alive.