Disclaimer: I still own nothing, how sad. enjoy!
I write the last of the notes needed for the lecture, getting ready to sit back in boredom. 'You're here too?' I hear her voice and turn to see the small bandaged nose beaming back at me. 'What a coincidence to be in the same lecture,' she says, turning further in my seat I see Joon Gu behind her.
Looking back to the front I try to sound nonchalant, 'The guy sitting behind you came along too?' I ask, disliking the pathetic jealousy I feel.
'Hmm?' she says.
'Ha Ni Yah!' Joon Gu's happy voice greets her. She seems surprised, 'What are you doing here?'
'Why can't I be here? I was just really missing the old days,' I can see his sad face playing on repeat in my head. Sickening. 'Did you like to study so much that you even miss it now?' I say mocking him. Ha Ni's old days were spent following me. Though they were friends long before we were ever acquainted.
'Hey it's because of you that I got out of the cafeteria during it's busiest hours!' Joon Gu says.
'Was the cafeteria that slow?' I know Ha Ni won't respect him any more than she does for abandoning a busy dinner lady.
'Well, I do feel bad for the cafeteria lady, but it can't be helped!' he says exasperated.
'Is this seat taken?' He Ra's voice interrupts. At least with someone as antagonistic as He Ra around, Ha Ni will be distracted from Joon Gu's efforts. If anything she might actually pass the class in rivalry.
Coming up the stairs I see Ommani and Oh Ha Ni pressed against my door. What they could be up to is beyond me. I lean down next to them to gather what they are doing, causing them to jump back in surprise. Opening the door with a sideways glance of confusion I go into the room.
Glad to see Eun Jo playing with someone, I shut the door on their disgruntled faces. 'Is this your friend?' I ask hearing the door open again as soon I sit on the sofa.
'Oppa, do you believe in love at first sight?' Sae Ra asks. 'Hmm…I'm not sure,' I reply, 'I've never really thought about it.'
'I didn't believe in it either. I thought that was just something adults said, but now I think it's real,' Ha Ni looks knowingly between Eun Jo and the little girl. How cute…Sae Ra fell for my little brother straight away. Would she be as trailing as Oh Ha Ni?
'When you came into the room just now, the background became really white, and I couldn't see anyone but you, oppa,' her happy face stares across at me. Oh Ha Ni seems to choke on whatever she's eating, and Ommani gapes at Eun Jo. Meeting Eun Jo's accusatory glare I shift my glance away awkwardly. Clearing my throat I reach for my drink, and try to ignore their looks.
Still feeling thirsty once dinner has finished I head back downstairs. I pass Ha Ni as I get water from the fridge. Taking a gulp I put the glass back on the counter. Remembering how upset hyung had looked I walk to the table, 'Where is Eun Jo?' I ask her.
'Are you even worried?' she asks without looking at me. I realise something is up, 'What is it? Why are you acting like that with me?' I say confused by her reaction to my question. Things at dinner had seemed good between us, even after her meeting with He Ra she hadn't acted much differently from usual.
'Player.'
'What?' I say, baffled by the word hanging between us. Player? Since when had she thought this?
'I can see right through it, you act like you're not, but you're always leading things on,' she says with a somber voice of realisation.
'Leading?' I ask.
'Yeah, leading. Whenever I want to throw my feelings for you away because I don't think it's meant to be you go laughing for me once in a while. Whether you're serious or just playing around, you confuse people and make a fool out of them.'
'What are you talking about?' since the kiss I had done nothing to lead her on, I had waited for her to reciprocate, to say something to show she felt the same way.
'That's right, you did well,' she says with an unusual expression of detachment. 'You two look good together.'
'Hey,' I say whipping my head up to look at her more directly. 'Are you talking about Yoon He Ra and not Eun Jo here?'
'Ah,' she pauses for a moment realising how much she has said. 'It's the same thing.'
Is that really what she thinks of me? That I would just play with her feelings so recklessly… Yes, at the start it had been a game, but after that kiss it was different. If I wasn't sure of my feelings then what good could they have been to admit to her. I want her to look at me but Ommani comes in at that moment.
Ommani couldn't cheer Eun Jo up, so Ha Ni leaves to try to talk to him. She disappears hesitantly out the front door and I wonder what could have been said if we were not interrupted.
'Go away, Oh Ha-Ni! I don't want to see you! This is all your fault!' Eun Jo's voice carries into the house and I almost go to help but Obeoji comes down and I nod hello, and decide to apologise to Eun Jo later. I don't dislike Ha Ni's father, but the way I've treated her, the way we are…it's too confusing to involve him in.
He Ra has brought herself and her preconceived notions about what we will do, to my house. I guess it's not really a problem of any magnitude. We'll do the assignment, and she can leave.
Though my own preconceived notion that it'll be harmless are shattered when we come through the door and I see Ha Ni expectantly awaiting my return from school. Immediately I'm caught in her wounded gaze, how does she do this to me? Her cute grey dress is as captivating as the most stunning outfit He Ra could ever find. If I could tell Oh Ha Ni that...but she won't know this. She just knows what she sees, and what she sees looks like a date.
Walking straight to the stairs I try to ignore the growing headache, try not to consider Ha Ni's feelings, try to remind myself that I didn't like this girl before I kissed her, right? All i'd be to her is pain.
He Ra follows, and disappears into my room as I exit onto the balcony, and breath in the cold night air. Drinking it in like it might clear feelings out of my head, and leave me boring and comfortable, I find only slight relief. Pinching my eyes together, I wish she was here, wish things were cleared up.
Looking through the doors to my room I see He Ra wandering around touching different things along the book shelf. Being with someone like He Ra makes sense, we're the same, no one would be hurt in that union. But what's infuriating about He Ra? What's fascinating? Is there any capturing to be had with someone who would fall into my arms unruffled? Any growing in love with someone who's so comfortable?
Taking a last breath of the dark night sky I wander back through to my room.
AN: Apologise for the long wait! I missed Seung Jo and thought I'd come back to write his thoughts down...