The car

She had thought about it. There was no way around it. He was the only one who could realistically know and help.

She needed his experience and guidance.

„Walter?"

He turned, his keys already in the keyhole of his car.

„Sorry to keep you up, I wanted to ask you if you have…time to.. get a coffee or something?"

„Oh my dear, I'm in a very happy relationship with a bombshell of a woman. But thank you for the compliment." He winked at her which gave his joke away.

She laughed. Walter was just Walter.

„What's going on?" he said, continuing to open his car. He put his jacket in the backseat.

„I wanted to talk to you about some things…in private."

„I see.. „ he said. „Hop in!"

„What? Now?" She wasn't expecting him to agree at all, even less right away.

„Sure. Life is short. I'll give you a ride if you want." He sat down in the drivers seat.

Evey walked around the car to get to the passenger's door. Hopefully this was a good idea.

Although a spacious car the room felt very tight to her. But then Walter was a colossus of a man.

„I'm certainly not a sexual therapist, Lily." She felt her heart sink.. „But I guess I can tell you my personal experience if that's of any help."

It wasn't anything he hadn't shared anyway. As far as he remembered Lily didn't attend their sessions back then.

„Walter, I haven't talked about this to anyone. I'd really appreciate it if this could stay… in this car. Even as a joke.."

„Lily, I'm a simple man but I'm not stupid." He said and chuckled to his own words. He waited for her to continue. But Evey didn't know how to begin.

"What is it you want to discuss?" he kindly asked.

"It's about sex with my partner." She said. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I figured that out… but what exactly?"

Well.. Here goes nothing.

„So.. we've had some problems for a while and there was some progress to a certain extent but further than that... It's a dead end. No matter how hard I try, he just rejects me time and time again." She said, hoping she didn't need to go into more detail.

Memories of her hand sinking into V's trousers and the anguish her actions had caused him crossing through her mind. She knew whatever they did was based on consent but still her actions had felt so wrong and intrusive. Somehow selfish. Her conscious giving her an indescribable pain in the gut.

„What do you mean with how hard you try?" Walter asked.

A weird lump formed in her throat.

„Seduction. Teasing. Taking the lead. That kind of stuff…"

Walter stayed quiet and looked at her.

Okay, so details it shall be.

"He's comfortable enough to touch me with his hands and we both enjoyed that. But once in the heat of the moment I've attempted to do the same to him which.. didn't end well. So I tried again to get him in the mood.. It was worse. We've almost completely stayed away from each other since then." Evey continued and felt a blush creep up her face.

Not out of embarrassment but out of shame. Her lack of understanding for V's situation had surely taken a toll on his self consciousness. Back then she was so confident that he wanted it as badly as she did. Truthfully, she still thinks he does. But somehow getting to the point where they could enjoy themselves equally had become an obstacle impossible to overcome.

„I see." He said, nodding in agreement. „You're exactly like Judie."

Judie? The dapper elderly woman talks to Walter about sex?

„My ex-wife." He explained, reading her shocked face correctly.

„Oh? Really?" Did he say ex-wife... That definitely didn't end well then.

„Yeah, you know we've been married for twenty years when I had that accident. It's a long story, but you know.. I think you need some background to understand."

"I was staying late in the lab. Completely forgot about the time. You see.. It was our wedding anniversary and we had made a reservation that night. I was in a bit of hurry. Didn't use the safety precautions. I just wanted to quickly put my stuff back where it was. Unfortunately, the cleaning lady had already mopped the floor, I slipped and the acid filled flask poured on my lap."

Ouch.

"I passed out from the pain, being alone late at night didn't help either. It took a long time until someone found me. Maybe if I had gotten to the hospital earlier they could have fixed some things. But for me it was too late."

Evey hoped he didn't elaborate. Her tolerance for stories of suffering and misery had reached a new low.

„You see.. after such a long time in a monogamous relationship, sex gets more to being a deed than a pleasure. You just do it like you've gotten used to. And if you ask me, it was okay like that. Definitely not amazing, but okay."

She wasn't sure where he was headed now but then she had asked and he was willing to share his intimate life with her. Out of the corner of her eye, through the windshield, she saw Father Peter locking the door of the Chapel and turning left. She slid deeper into her seat.

„However after my accident and the amputation, I was physically and mentally unable to continue like before. But back then I was a blind fish, helpless somehow. Trying to find a new way of living."

„In hindsight, it was the toughest for Judie. I understand that now, after years of therapy.. In the beginning she tried to act like we could continue where we left off. It didn't take her long to figure out that wasn't possible anymore. So she tried to get „adventurous"." He laughed at that but Evey noticed his constrained voice.

„She did what she thought would be a good idea. She never asked me what I wanted or liked because... That wasn't necessary for twenty years. We didn't talk about it and we definitely didn't have a therapist to talk to. Judie probably thought that acting like we were young again, seduction and teasing and all that stuff would solve the problem. Surprise! It didn't."

„It seems like she put in a lot of effort, why the divorce then?" she asked.

„In hindsight its simple. We wrote ‚Irreconcilable Differences" on the divorce paper. I'll tell you what it was. Sexual tension and frustration."

„Oh come on, Walter! I was taking you seriously for a second!" Evey exclaimed. Didn't he know how hard it has been for her to open up to him?

„I'm dead serious. You have to understand, we both didn't become suddenly asexual just because I had some alterations. We only had been unable to communicate to find a common denominator, leaving us frustrated. And what does frustration lead to?"

She didn't know what he was aiming at.

„Arguments, Lily. It leads to constant bickering and arguing."

„You mean to tell me that your martial problems – your divorce-was rooted in not having sex?" She was dumbfounded.

„It doesn't apply to all marriages and divorces for sure, but yes. That was the reason. Unfortunately I found that out years later when it was far, far too late .."

Evey was quiet for a moment. Never would she have thought that her talk with Walter would take such an unexpected turn.

Constant fighting due to sexual tension. Sounded familiar..

„So what did you do differently? You seem happy with your new girlfriend."

„Communication." He simply said.

„That doesn't cross out your… problems."

„Yes, Lily. But sex is not just about penetration." She felt her cheek burn again. Walter was always very straight forward.

„Intimacy is what we make out of it." He simply said and turned the keys to start the car.

I actually enjoyed writing this chapter a lot. What do you think? Let me know.

xx