Bella's Point of View
I definitely need to read those pregnancy books. Something is going on with my hormones. Why do I feel the need to try to be so intimate with Edward at random points of the day?
I am currently in the bathroom laughing at myself, thinking about all those ideas of what we could do together in this room alone. But we are just starting off in this relationship, although, we are moving pretty quickly. I need to slow down or at least try to control myself and thoughts. I'm just glad he can't read my mind or else it would get embarrassing for the both of us.
After my shower, I realized I forgot my robe in my room. I just hope Edward is somewhere he can't see me. I grabbed a towel and brushed my teeth then went into my room. I had to turn on the fan because I used the hot water to relax my muscles. I pulled out my sweat pants that I had hidden from Alice, and a tank top. The tank clung to my body, but I was too warm so it just felt nice and cool rather than embarrassing. Plus, I should get use to the fact that people would see my baby belly soon.
Looking at my stomach in the mirror under the tank, it was surprising. My stomach looks huge. Either I'm gaining too much weight from my cravings or else I'm having twins. Please don't be either.
Feeling lonely, besides the baby constantly reminding me that it's with me always. Only one person has been making me feel loved above all the others in this family. I grabbed a book and went into Edward's room where I found him lying on his bed with his book.
He was so engrossed with his book that he didn't look up at me when I walked in.
"Hey." I said to get his attention and did I.
He was looking at me with an expression that somewhat made me feel uncomfortable because I had seen it in the eyes of the perverts around me. In Edward's eyes, it awakened something in me that I'm trying to keep under control, but I guess I'm not helping either with my choice in outfits at the moment. Luckily, I'm wearing a bra or else he'd probably jump me. Dear God I hope so, NO HORMONES STOP IT!
"Um, mind if I sit with you?" I asked holding up my book.
"Ye…yeah." He stutters.
I had to laugh at his reaction for it kept me from blushing at the moment. I think he was doing enough of that for the both of us at the moment.
He moved on his bed to give me space. I cuddled up into his side and opened my book. He did the same thing.
It felt so right with Edward that I wondered what I ever saw in my baby's father. 'No stop thinking about the past.' I scolded myself.
I didn't need to bring up those painful memories any time soon, but eventually, Edward—and possibly the others—would need to know about my past. I think I'll let them open up with me more until that happens. Not that I don't trust them because I do, but I haven't been here for a week and I think things are moving fast enough as it is.
Time passed by so fast that when I heard the door leading from the garage open, it startled me.
I looked up at Edward to see his expression mirroring mine. We did not want to move. It has been all so peaceful with just the three of us, but we needed to get up. For one, our siblings were home. Two, I had a doctor's appointment and I doubt Alice would let me out of the house with my current attire. Finally, I had a craving for those lemon muffins I made.
"Ready to get up?" Edward asked.
"No, but we have to." I groaned.
He groaned but got up. I tried by myself, but got stuck like I usually do. Edward's bed was so soft that it turned into a canoe trapping me in it.
Edward smiled and held out his hands for me. I grabbed them and pulled myself to sit on my knees still on the bed.
Once I set my feet on the floor, Edward let me go.
"Bella." Alice was yelling running up the stairs.
The others must be following her because it sounded like a stamped coming up the stairs.
I didn't want to be found just yet because I already had an outfit planned for my doctor's appointment.
I started to make a run for my room, but as usual, my feet trip over air and I start to fall to the ground. Instead of making contact with the ground, Edward's arms are latched around me. One above my baby and the other below.
"Thanks." I said turning towards him a little.
He smiles his crooked smile at me and I forgot why I wanted to run until it's too late.
"Bella, what are you doing in here. You are supposed to be resting." Alice scolded.
The others were behind her alright. Rosalie looking the same as Alice, frustrated. While Emmett and Jasper looked smug.
"Alice, I'm alright." I said straightening up letting Edward know that he could let go of me, slowly he did.
"I'm so glad. I've been worried about you all day. Here I made you this in art class." She said giving me a hug then handing me a homemade card. I opened the pink flap and saw inside was a drawing of a lush garden with bright colored flowers scattered everywhere. Over the garden in elegant script were the words 'Get well soon.' I felt the tears coming.
"Thanks Alice." I said catching the tears before they fell.
"Flip it over, we all signed it." Emmett grinned like a five year old.
I looked at the back page and written in their own script each one had written a small message such as 'feel better soon' or 'thinking of you.' I noticed that even Angela Weber had signed the back as well. Now the tears were falling and I couldn't stop them.
"Thanks." I said and couldn't resist pulling Alice in for a hug.
"Group hug." Emmett yelled and we all huddled in grasping each other.
"Ok, the baby needs to breath and so does its mama." Edward announced after we held each other for more than a minute.
When we pulled back, I dried my tears and went to leave the room.
"So Bella, what are you wearing for your appointment?" Alice asked following me and Rosalie following her.
"Something comfortable, and no you cannot pick out my outfit if you disapprove." I turned around to get her to see that I meant business.
"Ok, I just want to see. I won't give a negative opinion on it." She held her arms up in defense.
I softened down a bit. Then went inside my closet to change. When I came out, both girls were sitting on my bed looking at my baby book.
"Come on, put that back and let's get going." I said walking over to them.
"Oh, but Bella this is so precious. I can't wait to start my own." Alice whined.
Rosalie looked at me with the same adoring face. I had to laugh at them both as I sat down next to them to put on my shoes.
When they were looking at the last page with information on it, someone knocked on the door.
"Come in." We all said at once then laughed.
"Is it safe to look?" Emmett poked his head in while covering his eyes with his large hand.
I giggled at him. "Yes Emmett, I'm decent."
He put his hand down and smiled wider.
"Come on Alice, put the book away and let's go. I don't want to be late." I said getting up.
"What are you looking at, pix?" Emmett asked grabbing the book from Alice's hands then started flipping through it.
"It's a baby book for this little one." I answered pointing to my large stomach which is now safely hidden under a teal sweater.
"Can we see?" Jasper asked coming into the room with Edward behind him.
"There's not much to see. I only have dates in there like first doctor's appointment and the first time he/she kicked." I answered.
"When did he start kicking?" Emmett asked flipping through the pages.
"After my doctor's appointment. The one when I met dad for the first time." I answered showing him the page with the date.
Looking at the clock, I realized we had to go so I slammed the book closed and went to put it on the shelf.
"Hey, thanks for leaving me my fingers." Emmett pouted.
"Sorry Emmett, but we have to go. I have a doctor's appointment in half an hour if you forgot already." I said putting my hands on my hips.
"Then let's get out of here before we make little mama cranky." Emmett joked and ushered us out of my room. I grabbed my cell and wallet on the way out. "By the way, thanks for the muffins."
"Please tell me you didn't eat them all." I said trying to hold back my temper. I really wanted one.
"Uh…then I won't." He answered racing down the stairs quickly after finishing his sentence.
"Hey, we can make more if you want." Edward said coming up behind me holding me against him.
I didn't say anything as we walked downstairs.
Edward tried to help me with my coat, but I was still too warm which is why I wore my sweater so that I could carry my coat. Edward understood though.
As we walked into the garage, I looked around for Emmett. It was my turn to smack his head. Instead I saw a sheet covering something that peaked my curiosity.
"Those are the motorcycles." Jasper answered my unspoken question grabbing the sheet and pulling it off.
They were so shiny and beautiful, a red Ducoti and the other a silver Harley.
"Who rides them?" I asked walking closer to them.
"Mom and I do." I stared at him in disbelief. "Yes, mom does ride. It's sort of our bonding activity that we do."
"Can you teach me to ride them?" I asked and I did not know where that came from. I was never really a risk taker.
"Uh…" He answered.
I didn't really care about the answer. I was really fascinated by the bikes that I went to throw my leg over on of them just to sit on. Unfortunately, a strong hand caught my leg.
"Ah no you don't, little mama. Did you forget something?" Emmett asked putting my leg down on the ground and backing me up a bit.
I looked at him. "Yeah." Then I smacked him as hard as I could on the shoulder, but I think I got more damage than he did. Still he looked like he was in pain while I tried to hide mine.
"Owie." He said rubbing his shoulder.
Everyone around us was laughing. I was holding back the pain that was running through my hand. I don't think it was broken though, but it sure did hurt.
I walked over to Edward who took my hurt hand very gently in his to the point where I barely felt it and kissed it lightly. I swear all the pain went away when he did.
"Alright, everyone in the Jeep." Emmett announced starting to get in the driver's seat.
I looked to Edward who didn't look so happy. I'm guessing, from the way he glanced back at his Volvo, that he wanted to drive.
"You can drive it tomorrow." I promised. He sighed in longing, but smiled back at me.
Like the last time we took Emmett's Jeep, Rosalie sat with Emmett in the front. Alice sat on Jasper's lap in the back with me and Edward sitting next to them. I was actually excited and nervous at the same time. This was going to be the first time that I get to see my baby. I know the ultrasound machine won't show me what he/she looks like, but I kind of want to know who he/she will look more like. The man I so desperately want to forget or plain old me.
Seems like all the Cullen's like to speed because we made it to the hospital in less than ten minutes.
The hospital was smaller than the one in Phoenix and looked simpler too. I quickly followed the others without question, they knew where to go. I knew my way around the hospital in Arizona pretty well too from all my accidents caused by my clumsiness. I use to be pretty scared about coming to hospitals, but with all the trips I had to make the ER growing up, I got use to it. The one thing that I did hate was needles because that meant blood. Thankfully, my new family hasn't seen me react to that just yet.
Finally, after walking the long halls, we made it to the maternity section of the hospital. I noticed the others looked around maybe spotting anyone that would recognize us and get bad ideas. I silently thanked them for looking out for me.
We reached a small waiting area with a window for the receptionist desk. Sitting in the waiting room already were Esme and Carlisle. They stood up when we came in. While the others went to take a seat, Esme followed me to the receptionist to check in.
"Isabella Swan." I said when the woman looked up at me. She had short blonde hair with make up that made her look older, but she couldn't have been any older than Esme.
"Fill these out and give them to the nurse when they call you in." She didn't show any emotion, she looked like she was bored. Great, another Amelia; at least I don't have to deal with her on a daily basis though. Still there was something about her that seemed familiar. I brushed it off and went to sit down.
I had to laugh at Emmett who was sitting in the kiddy corner playing with the blocks. Building a tower then knocking it down like a two year old.
I sat next to Rosalie who was looking at Emmett with adoration and amusement. I leaned closer to her to whisper in her ear. "Do you still want to have kids; I think you've already got one armful already."
"He may act like a child, but he is all man." She joked back.
We both had to stifle our giggles for the few patients that were here started looking at us like we were crazy.
Filling out the information wasn't too hard; it was done in a few minutes. I looked back at Emmett and see a little girl playing with him in the playhouse. How the heck did he get in there and how is he getting out?
"Isabella Swan?" A female nurse called.
I stood up along with my family. We walked through the door that the nurse held open for us. She reached for my clipboard which I gave her immediately.
"Alright, if you all would head into that room I'm going to get Isabella weighed." Thank God she put them in the room first. I do not want them to see how much I've put on.
"Ok, looks like you've gained a few more pounds since your last check up which is good. Let's get you back to your family." Yes, the torture is over.
The nurse led me to the door where the rest of my family was. We were in a small room that seemed smaller everyone in it. After saying the doctor would be in soon, the nurse closed the door behind her.
I felt a little restless so I paced around the room.
"Bella, go sit down on the bed." Esme said.
"I'm fine." I replied, but she gave me that look that means you better do it, so I did.
When I finally got settled is when the doctor came in. Thank you Carlisle for a female doctor.
"Hello Bella, it's nice to see you again. I'm Dr. Wang." She was about my height with black hair and grey streaks that made her look distinguished, but have we met before?
"Um, nice to meet you, but I don't really know you, do I?" I tried not to seem rude, but this was weird.
Dr. Wang and Carlisle chuckled.
"Well, if you did I would have been impressed. I met you when you were born. Your mother was one of the first women I delivered for."
I didn't know what to say.
"I remember your birth pretty well. You were very stubborn coming out almost like you didn't know how you wanted to come out or if you wanted to." She laughed.
I gave a small laugh as did everyone else.
"She is still stubborn." Alice piped up.
I gave her a glare, but Edward added on. "Hasn't changed much in the past 16 years."
"You haven't known me for 16 years, Edward." I gave him a hard glare and he just shut right up.
"Alright, no fighting please. Why don't you lay back, Bella, and we can get started." The doctor said.
I did as I was told, but noticed Emmett shifting uncomfortably from one for to another.
"Emmett, its ok. If you want to go play with that little girl again out in the waiting room, I won't mind." I said.
He looked up at me, "Thanks, but I kind of want to be here; I'm just a little…"
"Don't worry, Emmett, Dr. Wang is just going to do the ultrasound." Carlisle interrupted when he's son got tongue tied.
"Actually Carlisle, I see that Bella is due to have to have some blood drawn." My eyes opened wider than before. "Don't like needles?"
"And blood." I whispered.
"Don't worry about it. We'll deal with that later, but right now don't you want to see your baby." She asked.
My smile came back, but it was weak. "Ok."
"Alright, let's tuck this in." She tucked in a white sheet into the top of my pants and gently tugged on them so that my whole stomach was exposed. Then I rolled up my shirt. I had to make myself believe that my family wasn't in the room with me because it was slightly embarrassing being exposed like this.
"Wow Bella, are you sure you're only 15 weeks pregnant. You look almost 20 weeks." She exclaimed.
"I'd say about 18." Carlisle joked.
"I say there are twins in there." Alice nearly shouted.
I glared at her again.
"What's wrong with twins?" Rosalie asked. All the twins were smirking at me.
"Nothing now except for when they have to come out." I replied.
"Is that what you're worried about?" Edward asked.
I turned away from him so that I wouldn't have to answer, but that was one thing I was worried about.
"Never mind, let's stop playing this game and look at this little one." Dr. Wang spoke up. "Now this gel will be cold; fair warning."
I let out a slight squeal when the gel hit my bare skin and shivered slightly.
The others chuckled at me.
"Ok, here we go." She added also smiling in amusement.
I had a hard time trying not to laugh, but the wand on my stomach was tickling me.
"Alright, found the little one. And yes there is only one." She confirmed.
I gave the twins in the room a smug look. They laughed at me then went back to watching the screen.
"Well, it's a bit too early to tell what the gender is, want to hear the baby's heart beat?" She asked.
I nodded my head without hesitation.
The doctor flipped a switch on the machine and soon the whole room was filled with a tiny sound that was my baby's heart beat. I knew he/she was alive because I could feel him/her kicking me, but now I can hear them. Tears of happiness were coming down my eyes. I felt a familiar touch wiping them away.
I looked up at Edward, he looked…I couldn't even describe how he looked. Maybe how a father should look when he hears his child's heart beat for the first time.
"Sounds like your baby has a good strong heart beat; maybe a little too strong, but nothing to be worried about just yet." Dr. Wang said. "I'll just print off some pictures for you to take home and then blood work." She made a funny disgusted face that made me smile despite what I was about to go do.
She grabbed a couple of paper towels and handed them to me. I wiped off the gel from my stomach while she cleaned up the machine then turned the lights on as she walked out the door.
I tried to get up after pulling down my shirt and fixing my pants—as best as I could. Edward used one hand on my back for support to help me into a sitting position.
"Thanks." I said when I was up.
"Your welcome." He replied.
I looked back at everyone else. Mom looked like she was crying as dad held her. I suspect she felt the same way as I did.
"Wow, that was amazing, but I couldn't tell what was what on the screen." Alice exclaimed.
"When we get the pictures, I'll point them out for you, Alice." I said. Everyone looked at me confused.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I googled some sonograms of babies inside the womb. I got better at figuring out what was what after about an hour of looking." I answered.
"Maybe you should be doctor." Jasper joked.
"Sorry Jasper, but you've seen me with needles. Imagine how I am with blood." I winced.
Everyone chuckled at my response and soon the doctor came in with the pictures. Alice grabbed them from my hand. I shook my head in her direction and saw from the corner of my eye that Edward rolled his eyes at her.
"So, is there anything else today?" Dr. Wang asked.
I shook my head.
"How about your diet, Bella?" Dad asked raising his eyebrow. I was hoping to avoid that.
"Well, have you been taking your prenatal vitamins?" She asked.
I nodded my head. I did, this morning, but no one really needed to know that.
"Alright, then eat a balanced diet. Not a lot of fat or sugar and defiantly no caffeine. I tell that to all my patients 'cause that is the kind of doctor I am." She continued.
"So I guess peanut butter and chocolate are out of the picture?" I asked earning a laugh from everyone.
"Not too much and not every day." She answered still laughing.
"Think you can handle that, Bella?" Alice asked. I swear she is going to die for asking me that.
"Alice, my baby is huge. I do need to eat for the two of us." I snapped playfully. I still loved the little pixie.
"The baby is pretty big, bigger than normal. Must be from your father's side, Bella. He was a tall man and so was your mother." Dr. Wang added.
"I wonder where I got my shortness from." I grumbled. It sucked being this height.
She just chuckled. "So are there any more questions?"
"I have one." Emmett said holding up his hand like he was still in school. "I was reading in a book that said pregnant women are hornier than regular women, is that true?"
I hid my face in my hands, feeling my skin turn to fire.
Luckily, I heard four slaps and mom and dad scolding before I peaked through my fingers. I looked at the doctor who looked at me silently asking if I wanted to hear the answer. I shook my head in response.
"Um, alright. It was really nice seeing you again, Bella. Come back in a few weeks for your next check up and maybe then we can see the sex of the baby; if you'd like." She bounced back into doctor mode quickly.
"I'll think about it." I answered dropping my hands in my lap.
"See you all later then." With that she left the room and I quickly jumped off the table making a run towards Emmett. I don't know if it was the hormones, but I wanted to kill him. Edward and Jasper grabbed me before I could reach our big brother bear who was hiding behind Rosalie like a little kid behind his mother.
"Bella, let's go. We don't want to stress out the baby do we?" Edward said softly in my ear.
It calmed me down somewhat, but I was still angry.
"Don't worry Bella; I'll take care of Emmett for you." Rosalie sneered glaring at Emmett.
I kept glowering at Emmett as Edward led me out of the room while Alice and Jasper followed. Everyone else stayed to talk to Emmett, I guessed.
I was still fuming until I saw the sign that led to the blood bank and remembered where they were taking me; I stopped abruptly making the others run into me.
"Bella, don't worry. I'll be with you the whole time. I promise." Edward said squeezing my hand, but I was too scared to notice.
My hand went to my stomach immediately, I was nervous for the both of us.
"No one is going to hurt either of you. I promise." Edward spoke again grabbing the hand that was on my stomach turning me towards me so that I was facing him.
I took in a shaky breath and nodded my head.
After checking in, we sat down. Alice leaned into Jasper's side while she was flipping through a magazine. Jasper was just staring at her like she was going to disappear.
I sat next to Edward without any intention of relaxing.
"Why do you hate blood so much?" He asked breaking the silence.
"It makes me sick. I either pass out or throw up; mostly because of the smell." I replied looking at the wall in front of me.
"Humans can't smell blood."
"I can, it smells like rust and salt. I hate it."
"Then breathe through your mouth and keep looking at me not your arm." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to his body.
My body reacted by forming into his side without me even thinking about it. It's becoming more of a reflex.
A few minutes later, a nurse called me in. I dared not let go of Edward's hand as I got up and walked towards the nurse.
He led us into a small room that looked like a small closet, but from the strong smell of rubbing alcohol in the air, I knew it was the worst place to be in.
I was practically like a zombie; I was scared of what was to happen. Edward guided me over to the chair next to the small work station. There were no other seats besides the one for the nurse so Edward stood by me with his hand on my shoulder. I reached for it with mine and refused to let go.
As the nurse put on his gloves, I couldn't look at anything but the needle. It looked so large and sharp like a shark's teeth. I gripped onto Edward's hand more tightly.
"Bella, close your eyes and take deep breaths through your mouth." The nurse said while rubbing a cotton swap on the crook of my arm.
I shut my eyes and breathed like instructed focusing on anything that didn't involve the needle. The best I could come up with was the feeling of touching Edward. His thumb rubbing soft circles on the skin of my hand sending small sparks of electricity throughout my body. If touching my hand made me feel that way, how would it be if he was touching more of me?
"Alright, you can open your eyes." That was quick and I didn't feel a thing from the needle. "I've already hidden the vial from you. You can get going if you want." The nurse continued putting a band aid over a small cotton ball where the injection point was.
I let out a breath of relieve that for once I didn't faint or throw up. I smiled up at Edward who beamed with pride like the other night during dinner.
We got up and left the room. I walked into the waiting room where the rest of the family had gathered with a small smile on my face.
"Was it that bad?" Dad asked.
"Just to me, she has a strong grip." Edward answered before I spoke up.
"Practice for the delivery room, bro?" Jasper teased.
I turned red at the thought of Edward in the delivery room when I'm pushing a baby out of my body. Sweating like crazy and screaming my head off from the pain.
"We have plenty of time to think about that, let's go home and eat dinner." Mom said linking my arm with hers.
We left the hospital. Mom let go of my arm to walk to Dad's car on the other side of the parking lot while the others and I made it over to Emmett's car.
Surprisingly, we were not the first one's home. This family really loves to speed.
From the looks of it, we were only a few minutes behind the parents for mom was in the kitchen just pulling out the fixings for dinner.
"Oh kids before I forget." Mom got our attention as we were taking off our shoes and coats. "I got a call from grandma and grandpa today; they're coming to visit this weekend and to watch the game."
Everyone started to cheer except me. This did not help my nerves.
"Don't worry so much, Bella. They will love you like we do. Right mom?" Alice asked.
"I already told them about you and the baby; they couldn't be more excited." Mom answered.
"Besides, grandma and grandpa are always making fun of you and dad because you bring in so many kids into the family." Emmett laughed. I laughed with them.
"When will they be here?" Rosalie asked.
"Hopefully, we will pick them up on Thursday night and I'll make them a special dinner just the for the occasion." Mom replied.
"Sweet presents." Emmett jumped; I swear the whole kitchen just shook like there was an earthquake.
"Emmett. Ah, I swear your grandparents spoil you all too much." She sighed.
"Because they're our grandparents and that's their job." Alice sang. I laughed at her enthusiasm.
"Why don't you all go do your homework while I make dinner." It was more like an order than a request.
"Alice, do you still have those sonograms?" I asked when we were sitting at the dinning room table unloading our bags—well, except for Edward and me.
"Yeah, here." She pulled them out of her pocket.
"Let me see." Emmett boomed reaching for the pictures.
I hugged them to my chest and glared at him. "Not after what you said at the doctor's, Emmett." My anger came back.
"Come on Bella, you know I was joking." He was trying to sound confident in his jokes, but I could tell that he was nervous.
"Emmett." I growled and he took a step back.
"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm really sorry. Sometimes I don't think when I talk." His voice was shaking a bit.
"Next time, watch it." I growled once more walking him so that he was pinned at the wall.
He didn't answer verbally, but nodded his head in reply.
I turned from him with a smirk on my face.
"Bella, we picked up all your homework. Your English teacher had a quiz today on the first chapter of your book, but said you can make it up tomorrow at lunch." Alice said pulling out a small stack of papers.
I sighed from the sight. Fork high is going to push me to my limits this year.
"Did you give Eric that article I wrote?" I asked.
"I did, but I don't know how his legs held up with his knees shaking so badly?" Jasper laughed and soon the rest of the room was laughing. What did I miss?
"He took one look at Emmett and nearly freaked out." Alice giggled.
Emmett was flexing his large, intimidating muscles.
"Guys remember, he is the editor of the newspaper and I. Want. To. Be. On. The. Paper." I growled. I've growled so much today that I think I turned into some sort of a wild cat.
"We know, Bella. Calm down." Rosalie said soothingly.
My emotions have been out of whack and it's starting to drive my crazy.
"Sorry again, I guess I should stay away from the sugar. It's making me cranky." I admitted sinking down in a chair in front of the mound of assignments that I need to work on.
An hour later, the room was quiet except for the occasional noise from the kitchen while Esme was cooking.
Despite the large pile of homework, it really was easy with the help of my brothers and sisters. Alice, however, was having a tough time helping me with the math. Edward got it done before me, but refused to let me look at his work.
"Please Edward?" I begged for the fifth time, but he still wasn't budging.
"Bella, you need to learn to do your homework on your own. It's not fair if you cheat off of mine." He said matter of factly.
"But Edward, I'm really tired and my patience is running thin." I tried the mood swing card.
"Don't start that, missy." He put his face so close to mine that I could taste the sweet smell coming from his mouth. I almost attacked it when I remembered where we were and who we were in front of.
"Kids, please clean up the table and set it for dinner." Esme announced.
She ruined the moment, but that was a welcomed thing. Edward and I decided to take things slow for a while and I needed all the distractions that could help.
Dinner came and went pretty quickly. Esme only let me take smaller portions of the casserole while making me eat more of the salad, although, I didn't complain about that. After dinner, I decided to go up stairs sneaking my sonograms up with me before anyone could snatch them out of my hands again. To keep that from happening, they were hidden in my Algebra book—I needed to finish the homework anyways.
When I got to my room, I opened the book to the sonograms and pulled down my baby's book. Opening it to the correct page, I slipped the pictures in the little attached envelope then wrote down the date. Next, I moved onto the page for recording the first time I heard my baby's heart beat. Just remembering that I heard my little one inside me made it so more realistic than before. I have been aware that I was going to have a baby for weeks now, but today really woke me up. I'M HAVING A BABY! The thought brought on both excitement and fear.
I'm excited that I will have someone who will love me and I them and at the same time, I'm worried about the future. The physical pain I can live with, but what if my baby is taken away from me? Will its father come back for it? No he wouldn't, he doesn't even know about his baby and I intend to keep it that way. He doesn't deserve to be loved by my baby. He walked away from its mother without showing any remorse how he treated me, so he wouldn't care about what's growing inside of me. At least I hope not.
"No one will separate us, sprout." I whispered. As I rubbed my stomach tenderly, I swear I felt a hand gliding with my hand. "Mama loves you too." My baby loves me already, I can feel it.