It was a disgusting mix of chocolate, whipped cream, gummy bears, gummy worms, gummy sharks, Oreo cookies, chocolate chips, caramel, cake, cupcakes, some Japanese hard candies, and other things Tsuna couldn't name for how deformed they had become.

And all of it was mixed and stirred in a single pot, being eaten by a single person that should not have been present for another five days.

"Yo, fledgling." Lambo waved at him and then stuffed a spoonful of the sugary disaster into his mouth. "Reborn wanted me down here to assure your mate that feeding from other people doesn't automatically mean you're cheating."

Tsuna slowly turned his gaze to what was an enlightened Yamamoto. "Lambo's told me a lot about what he is. Like how he can grow back his body parts if he's hit by a bus or something like that!"

"Your mate has been asking me some really strange questions," Lambo explained blandly. "I felt I had to point out that I wasn't easy to kill."

Tsuna had been told that by Reborn a few years back, actually, after he had watched Lambo take a bullet to the jugular (completely random and much to the amusement of his tutor, as well as Tsuna's own blatant horror) only to walk it off. Lambo, as a catalyst, was constantly healing himself through rapid regeneration. Once, he had asked Reborn, when he had been way younger, if Lambo could live through being dunked in a volcano.

Reborn had given him his cold, I know something you don't smirk as he had cryptically started humming Russian lullabies. "1854 was a very interesting year for us."

Tsuna edged his way into his room and shut the (recently fixed) door behind him. "Really?"

Yamamoto beamed innocently. "And then we talked a lot about our kind! I didn't know we could get diseases. I thought we were immune to that stuff."

"Your kind gets a new disease every other millennia or so." Lambo played with his food till he found a Swedish fish. "In earlier centuries, there was this epidemic that struck your kind for generations, causing body rot, fatal allergic reaction to the sun, and madness, hence the later belief of ugly, blood ravenous creatures that roamed the night."

"Really? But Tsuna still gets burned so easily during the day." He paled suddenly, almost as white as a ghost, and snapped his head towards Tsuna so fast, his neck cracked. "You're not sick, are you?"

"He's perfectly healthy – if not slow to mature." Lambo unearthed a chunk of peanut butter. Stuck it in his mouth. Swallowed. "That's just a normal thing to be a little more sensitive to light than humans. After all, you came here wearing sunglasses, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"There you go. No need to worry."

"I just have one more question." Yamamoto waited till Lambo chugged down half a gallon of grape pop. Where it came from, Tsuna had no clue. "When you say, 'your kind', do you mean we're vampires?"

Grape soda did not go spewing everywhere, shockingly enough, but Tsuna's jaw nearly did hit the ground.

Lambo very carefully screwed the cap back onto his pop before turning a level stare towards the small brunette. "I always thought telling someone what they had become was one of the first things to do in a situation like yours."

"I-I thought I did!" Then he thought about it. Now that it was brought up, it occurred to him that he had never come out and said "vampire". It had always been "our kind" and "your kind". "Oh… Well, Takeshi, yeah. We're vampires."

"Cool! Does that mean we'll live forever?" He opened his arms like a little kid begging for his favorite toy.

Tsuna shyly sat down next to him, only to be dragged into his lap. "Hiiee!"

"Geez, fledgling, what else aren't you telling him?" Lambo gave him a grouchy look.

"Is that a no?"

"W-we live longer than humans," Tsuna squeaked, "but only by a few hundred years."

"And something else you might not now – you can eat garlic. The smell's overpowering and the taste will be an explosion on your tongue, but the same goes for almost all spices and herbs if they're strong enough. You can get use to it if you really want to."

"Oh, good!" Yamamoto laughed. "I can finally have pizza again! Oh, I was wondering –"

"Fledgling." Lambo's glare could have burned him. "Yare yare, have you spent this entire time getting down and dirty with your mate instead of doing anything else?"

"It's not that!" Tsuna cried out. "He's just never asked me to tell him anything before!"

"He shouldn't have to ask you." Lambo sucked a gummy worm into his mouth.

"I should ask you questions then, Tsuna?" Yamamoto gazed warmly, curiously, lovingly down at him.

"I-if you want to."

"I want to!"

"Okay…"

"So, why is it that we can eat? I mean, we already drink blood, do that weird mouth-to-mouth thing, and have lots of energizing lovemaking –"

Lambo was heard muttering, "Oh, goodness" as Tsuna choked on horror.

"So why do we eat solid food? Oh, yeah! And why can't I drink your blood?"

Lambo trudged to his feet. "You know what? I'll be downstairs with momma, so when one of you two want to be fed, just call me back up."

He left but Tsuna hardly noticed. He was mortified. All the things he had forgotten to tell Yamamoto because Yamamoto had never bothered to ask… but Lambo was right, it wasn't Yamamoto's job to ask, it was his to inform him. How would Yamamoto even know where to begin with his questions?

Tsuna cleared his throat. "We can eat solid food because… we can?" He frowned and tried to think of a good way to say it. "Like how… Um. Like how you need to drink water to survive, but there are still other things to drink like milk and soda and juice….?"

"Hhmm… I don't think I get it yet."

"Like feeding off another person's life force is our primary food source, that's like water to a human. But then we can eat food like humans can drink soda – it's not that we need it, but it still tastes good and it's filling…?"

Yamamoto pushed him into the bed, rising over him like a wave of danger. "I get it now! You're great at explaining things…, Sensei."

"H-hiieee?"

"Now why can't I drink your blood? You drank mine that first night and when that blood donor came, you let me drink hers – so why can't I drink yours?" His hips dipped between Tsuna's thighs and a very hard, very undeniable problem pushed against the front of Tsuna's school slacks.

"T-Takeshi!"

"Please give me an answer, Sensei."

He was playing with him! It was true, then, Yamamoto had definitely turned into a huge pervert!

Tsuna bit into his bottom lip. "B-because I have a very strong, very rare blood lineage… C-called Vongola! I-it's really p-powerful, but it a-always kills the vampires that drink it."

"Really? Why?" He tweaked one of Tsuna's nipples through his vest and shirt.

"Hiee! B-because it c-contains four h-h-hundred generations of sacrifice a-and violence. I-it's dirty… It's poison."

And that was the truth. His dad and mom, who loved each other more than anything else in the world, could never share blood. His dad could take his mom's blood and his mom was fed through… other ways, like the ways Yamamoto was fed, but his mom would never be able to withstand the force of his dad's blood.

Because it was toxic.

Yamamoto's hips came to a stop. "Don't look so sad, Tsuna, it's okay…"

"I remember when I was five years old and a guy sneaked in through my bedroom window. It was some older vampire that thought that he could use me as a power source. He kidnapped me and we drove for days away from my home. I was so scared, but I couldn't say anything because, every time I cried or even sniffled, he would hurt me. But then he stopped after the third night, thinking we wouldn't be found, and he sank his teeth i-into my chest…"

He could still see the man – not ugly like villains should be, were portrayed to be, but so beautiful that Tsuna had thought an angel had come down from heaven and that he had done something wrong to deserve being punished – leaning over him, ripping his dirty shirt off of him because he had just spent three days wiping his teary, snotty face on it, and had slashed into his chest.

At first, he had screamed, thinking he was going to die. Then the older vampire had started getting stronger, his eyes had gotten glazed, and he had ripped off small little Tsuna's pants and boxers too before undoing his own belt and taking his penis out.

"M-my blood gave him an adrenaline high a-and he g-got hard from it. So he t-tried to…" Rape him. He could still feel those two hands pulling his legs so far apart, not watching his new, improved strength, that the pain had been searing and he had thought that the vampire was trying to rip his legs off.

"Tsuna…" Yamamoto rolled over onto his side and dragged Tsuna against him, ear to his heart, and Tsuna's hands came up and tangled in his shirt. "It's okay, I'm here. I'll protect you from harm, I promise."

He shook his head and swallowed. "H-he didn't get to… do it, though… B-before he could – before…"

Blood. The vampire had reared back, nails scrabbling at his throat as he had wretched and wheezed and coughed, like he had just swallowed acid. The blood had boiled, literally boiled over his lips and down his face and throat, burning away flesh. He had had full-body seizures, not that Tsuna had known what those were back then.

"He died," Tsuna finished because he just couldn't tell Yamamoto all that he had seen. "A-and that's why you can't h-have my blood. You'll d-die too if you do."

Yamamoto held him so close, like he wanted to absorb him into his skin, and pressed hard, desperate kisses to his forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin, lips, as if he could steal his pain. "Well, I don't want to die. Especially now that I finally have you. So I guess that's one thing we won't be able to do." He caressed a hand down Tsuna's back. "… Have you ever… When we're making love, do I ever remind you of that…?"

"No! No, never! You get a little rough at times, but," he blushed scarlet red and brushed away his tears, "but you make me feel so good. Even when I can't walk straight because of what you do to me, I can't help but want more."

"That's good to know." Yamamoto tucked his head beneath his chin. "That makes me really happy!"

He let Yamamoto nuzzle him for a moment, a small one, before pulling back. "I still have to feed, though. Before Lambo gets impatient and leaves."

"I'll do it, Tsuna!" A short pause. Yamamoto's eyes widened. "Hey, Tsuna, are you… jealous?"

Damn. It had only been a second, but Tsuna's expression must have given him away. "It's just that, Lambo's really… Beautiful." Which was strange to say about another guy, but it really was the only way to describe him. "A-and I've never actually seen him and Reborn together, though they say they're each others mates, so…"

"That's because we made the choice as a couple to remain separated most of the time," said an exasperated voice from the doorway.

"Hieee!"

"Lambo!" Yamamoto's eyes flashed protectively as his arms became iron bands around Tsuna. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know that the fledgling here thinks I'm beautiful. Thanks, by the way. People who usually say that are only trying to get in my pants these days." Lambo sauntered in and picked up his bucket of sugary death, most likely the item he had returned for.

Or maybe he had just wanted to mess with them.

Tsuna watched him out of one terrified eye.

"But, no, it's really sad. Whenever Reborn and I get together, he just riles me up so much, things happen. You know, if he wasn't so sexy, I think I would have left him by now." Yet his lips curved contently upwards and his eyes twinkled in such a way that Tsuna was now intimately familiar with.

That was the way Yamamoto looked at him. And the way he looked at Yamamoto.

"And maybe if he didn't have his sweet moments… Or know how to do that thing with his tongue that just makes me go –"

"LAMBO!" Tsuna cried.

Yamamoto, however, was intrigued. "What does he do with his tongue?"

"T-Takeshi!"

"What?" Yamamoto petted a hand down his face, thumb settling on his bottom lip. "I just want to make you feel the best I can." He laughed.

"I'll tell you another time, baby." Lambo popped a decked amount of oozing chocolate and Oreo into his mouth, chewed for a long moment, and then swallowed. "So who's puckering up?"

~::~

Tsuna had known that Reborn never made suggestions when he had idly remarked on building up on Tsuna's family.

Now he had this weird feeling that someone was watching his every move throughout school. So powerful, in fact, that the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

That, and Yamamoto was growling like a mad dog. Tsuna was seconds away from just calling it a day and getting the sports star out of there before he attacked someone.

But then the decision was taken from his hands as something fell off of the school rooftop, coming towards the ground at an accelerating, screaming, "FUUUUUCCCKK!"

Now what were the chances that Tsuna would be standing right underneath that approaching blob of – wait, was that a person? Oh, yes.

And Yamamoto, for all the mad dog skills that he had at the moment with his intense jealousy and territorial instincts, could not overcome the bad luck that was No-Good Tsuna.

Meaning that that blob landed on something softer than the ground, if not bonier too, and Tsuna said a personal hello to the reaper as it felt like his body shattered under a sudden and overwhelming weight.

"T-Tsuna!" The blob was ripped off of him and thrown somewhere over Yamamoto's shoulder as the sports star leaned over him, fear in his big red eyes. "Tsuna, are you okay?"

He coughed weakly. "M'not… gon… die." But this was going to hurt for awhile. And he thought, perhaps, that a number of his ribs were broken and that his body had cracked in two.

"You…" The blob moved and sat up. It had silver hair and spitfire green eyes that bordered on lime. "You saved my life!"

He had? Wow, he couldn't remember that through the intense agony assaulting his body.

"You're my hero!"

The fact that Yamamoto's immediate reaction to the silver-haired projectile was to snarl and hit it across the face, as opposed to his usual reaction of just glaring and clenching his hands at his sides when people tried to touch Tsuna and succeeded, told Tsuna what he thought his senses would have had they been operating.

Reborn's mission to grow his family was officially in motion.

He was so screwed!