Boys: Shawn
Girls: Heather, Lindsay
Episode 24: Top Dog
"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "A sweet, surprise package from the outside world left Heather bitter," Heather was shown looking at her jawbreaker with disgust, "and the cast got a taste of life in zero-gravity conditions," the four were seen floating in the space shuttle.
"But all was not well in the universe as Shawn and Courtney continued to spitefully hate each other," the two mentioned were shown making comments at each other.
"In the end, Heather won the challenge," she was shown to be covered in barf, "but lost her sweet smell. Lindsay fixed things between Courtney and Shawn" she, Shawn and Courtney were shown talking, "but lost her chance to stay in the game almost. Thanks to a tiebreaker, Courtney lost the game, but won a Lame-osine ride back to the real world?" She was seen puking into her pot and entering the limo.
"Can Lindsay breathe once more now that she barely got lucky?" The dumb princess was shown in the confessional.
"Will Shawn be able to carry on without his sole alliance?" The conspiracy nut was shown looking at his tinfoil hat.
The scene flashed to Chris in front of the cast trailers. "All this and more, on today's out-of-this world episode of, Total! Drama! Action!"
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The episode opened on a shot of the morning sun before panning down to the cast trailers. The camera centered on the girls', then cut inside as Lindsay woke up.
"That was a nice dream I had," Lindsay talked to herself while sitting up in her bunk. "Marshmallow pillows and candy rainbow pieces have never been so tasty."
She soon looked around for a bit. "Where did Heather go? I thought she would be back from showering last night."
The door opened and Heather walked in, though she was looking groggy and tired.
"Where were you all night?" Lindsay asked her roommate. "Were you out on a secret trip thanks to your immunity? Let me guess where you went. The cheese factory, Niagara Falls, or did you go to the mall?"
"Zip it!" Heather shouted. "I spent the entire evening in the bathroom."
"Why did you sleep in there?" Lindsay asked.
"That ghost slash vampire fighting freak soaked the last of the gumbo on me!" Heather complained. "It took me hours to wash the food off and make sure I smelled exquisite."
"I don't blame Shawn for what he did," Lindsay shot a glare at the queen bee's direction. "You made him get into a fight with Courtney. Things could've gotten worse if I didn't solve their problem."
"Shut up, Lame-say," Heather insulted. "That homeschooled reject is going down, and once I deal with him and you, I'll claim the grand prize."
"I have no idea how Amy could tolerate you," Lindsay told her. "You worked with her, sure, but you decided to strategize behind her back just because she had standards."
"Amy and the other contestants mean nothing to me," Heather said. "Just watch your back!"
Confessional: Heather
"I knew I'd make it to the end. Big shocker," Heather filed her nails. "I just can't believe the zombie weirdo and brainless blondie made it. So they may as well just give me the check, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
Heather yawned and laid down on her bunk. Just then, the trailer door burst open. Chris walked in and promptly and joyfully blew a few notes on a bugle into the room. "Wake up, sleepyheads!" he announced with glee. "Breakfast is served, along with today's movie challenge. You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there!" He backed out of the room.
"I bet today's genre will be "guy in a coma" movie," Heather suggested as she lied down.
"I doubt it, but I'm just going to eat breakfast," Lindsay said before leaving.
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The scene flashed over to the craft services tent. "Wow Chef!" Shawn said in awe as the camera cut to a close-up of his plate as Chef ladled a portion of something that was pale yellow, lumpy, and slightly hairy onto it. "These scrambled eggs actually look pretty good!"
Chef looked at the theorist, then burst out into raucous laughter. "Scrambled eggs," he repeated before resuming his laughter and even falling over.
Shawn shot his food with a worried look and put it back before walking away. "I'll just eat on the leaves I've gathered."
Confessional: Shawn
"The way Chef was laughing made me believe that the scrambled eggs were too good to be true," Shawn confessed. "Or maybe they were poisoned. Or maybe they were drugged with sleeping medicine. But worst of all-"
Confessional Ends
Shawn sat next to Heather, who stopped eating once she saw him. "I gotta say, you smell pretty good," the theorist told her teasingly.
"It's just lavender soap," Heather glared. "I used three bottles of it thanks to your stunt."
"Now you know how I felt when you messed with my mind and got Courtney eliminated," Shawn said. "Zombies may eat brains, but they don't have any control over what they're doing."
"It's always supernatural stuff with you," Heather groaned. "I'm stunned Jo even likes you, but it makes sense. You two are ugly and can't dress fashionably to save your lives."
Shawn furiously got in Heather's face. "She likes me for me, and I won't change myself for her."
Confessional: Shawn
"It's one thing to be manipulative, but to insult my feelings for Jo? That's crossing the line," Shawn ranted. "Like Jo did before, I will make sure Heather loses."
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to Lindsay approaching the serving counter, only to look confused when she didn't see Chef. The cook then lifted his arm up and dropped a ladle of fake eggs onto her tray.
"Scrambled eggs?" Lindsay wondered as she looked at her plate. "It's the second episode all over again." Chef broke out laughing again behind the counter, but he managed to sit back up and wipe a tear out of his eye.
Lindsay sat down next to Shawn. "Hey Shawn. Where's your food."
"A heads up," Shawn whispered. "The eggs aren't cooked well. They're just fake."
"They looked real," Lindsay slid her tray away.
"So anyways, me and you are up against Heather, Lindsay" Shawn told her. "I know what you're gonna say."
"Let's team up and take her down," Lindsay grinned.
"It's almost like you read my mind," Shawn said, "but without being an alien."
Confessional: Lindsay
"Shawn is really cute," Lindsay admitted. "His constant nagging about his theories do bug me and he could really use a shower every once in a while, but I can see why Jo is into him."
Confessional Ends
"What can I do about the eggs?" Lindsay asked Shawn. "Chef will totally kill me with his eyes if I throw it away."
"Leave it to me," Shawn told Lindsay.
Shawn grabbed the eggs with his two hands. He mushed them together and created a ball out of the eggs. Twirling it on his finger for a brief moment, he tossed the ball away and it landed in the pot Chef was using to cook a meal. The cook stopped whistling to see what slipped in, but went about his business without a care.
"I can't believe he didn't even care," Lindsay commented.
"I don't know what Chef uses to make his food, but it's probably leftovers," Shawn said.
"Attention, cast!" Chris said, the camera cutting to him standing on the other side of the tent with a blue-and-yellow macaw perched on his shoulder. It squawked as the three contestants walked up.
"What is that parrot doing on your shoulder?" Lindsay asked.
"That's my new BFFF!" Chris explained with a grin. "Best Flying Friend Forever. That brings us to today's movie genre: the Animal Buddy flic." The three teens gave him skeptical looks.
Confessional: Chris
"You try coming up with twenty-two movie genres," Chris accused in the confessional. "It was either animal buddy, or guy in a coma movies."
Confessional Ends
"The hallmark of any good animal buddy flick is the human-animal bonding," Chris explained as his macaw watched him. "First, the human and the animal start out as enemies. Then, through many misadventures, the animal and human grow to care about each other," the camera zoomed in on the macaw as it seemed to be touched by the host's words, "and become fast friends."
The parrot rubbed Chris' chin affectionately with its head, and the host responded by extending a finger to rub the bird. However, the macaw decided to playfully chomp on the finger and squawked laughingly as the human winced in pain.
"You guys just hang tight for a sec, 'kay?" Chris told the cast with a calm look on his face. He walked off camera, and the castmates watched in mild horror as sounds of an attack were heard. Feathers flew, squawks were heard, and the host yelled "Let go of my coif!"
He walked back into view moments later, brushing the feathers off his shoulder but ignoring the ones in his now-ruffled hair. "So...where were we...?" he asked idly before smiling in realization. "Right! The first animal buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you," he explained as the camera panned across the wary faces of Heather, Shawn, and Lindsay. "That shouldn't be too hard, since you're all animals." A rimshot played, but none of the cast were amused.
Chris got serious again. "The cast member whose animal most resembles them at the end, wins the challenge." The contestants were shown again, and Lindsay in particular was looking pleased.
Confessional: Lindsay
"I love animals, especially dogs," Lindsay gushed in the confessional. "I even have one of my own. One time, I told my math teacher that his new hair piece looks like my dog's butt. But he totally took it the wrong way. My dog has the cutest curly little butt!" the blonde explained. "It was a compliment!"
Confessional Ends
The footage resumed at a shot of the contestants outside. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to meet your future BFFFFFs!" He motioned behind him, where something large and covered in an orange tarp was stationed between him and Chef. "Best Furry, Feathered, or Finned Friends, Forever!" he explained further, earning an eyeroll from the cook as he pulled away the tarp.
The four teens gasped as the four cages were uncovered. The camera focused on each animal one-by-one. First was a brown bear that roared at the cast, then a bigger cage holding a rather agitated looking shark, then a smaller cage holding a raccoon that tried to claw at them, and finally a bird cage holding a chameleon that rolled out its tongue.
"Pick an animal," Chris told the cast, "and get training. You have three hours."
"I got the raccoon!" Heather said immediately, shoving Shawn to the ground and dashing forward towards the small cage before either of the others could react.
Confessional: Heather
"I had to pick the raccoon," Heather reasonably told the viewers. "The chameleon is gross, the bear is huge, and the shark is murderous."
Confessional Ends
The scene returned to Shawn and Lindsay standing with the other animals. "I'll take the chameleon," the blonde said. "If it can change colors, I can't pass that up."
"And I'll take the bear," Shawn announced. "It has a lesser chance of eating me alive in comparison to the shark."
Chris saw that the final three have made their decision and chosen their animals, but noticed that the shark was lonely.
"So it seems they left out the shark," Chris mused. "I paid good money to bring all four of the animals out here, and I won't let any of them go to waste." He thought to himself. "What to do, what to do."
Ezekiel suddenly ran up to Chris. "Hey Chris. I'm here to help judge the animals."
"Ezekiel! Great timing," Chris piped up. "Say, do you want to pet sit for an animal while we wait for the judging part?"
"Uh, sure," Ezekiel agreed. "Which one do I have to watch over?"
"Chef, bring the pet here!" Chris ordered, causing the cook to drag the shark over to the home schooled guy."
Ezekiel's eyes almost popped out. "I have to take care of a shark? They're dangerous looking eh!"
"That's not my problem," Chris laughed while departing. "Just make sure it doesn't try to hurt the other animals. They didn't get picked, so they're sorta jealous."
All Ezekiel could do was gulp at his predicament.
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Heather and the raccoon were sitting on a table. "I don't know if you've been tested for rabies, but I have my eyes on you, so don't try any funny business."
The raccoon snarled at her. "Hey hey! I don't want any trouble. I just want to win this challenge."
Heather pulled out a box of doggy treats. "If you behave, I'll feed this to you." This caused the raccoon to sit up straight, and Heather gave it a treat. "Good."
After devouring the treat, the raccoon held out its paw, causing Heather to awkwardly shake it.
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The camera went to the chameleon, who's colors changed from red to bright yellow. It was supposed to change to Lindsay's hair color, but it didn't obey.
"That's not the color," Lindsay told her animal. "It's supposed to be blonde, not bright yellow. Let's try this again." The chameleon turned dark green in response.
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The scene flashed to Shawn and the bear inside the service tent. "I know something that we share," Shawn told the bear. "We both like food, but the only difference is that I can cook and you can't."
The bear growled at that, causing Shawn to retract. "I'm not saying this to insult you. I'm just saying that I teach you how to cook. That way, you won't have to eat out of the trash can."
The bear smiled in response.
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Ezekiel was looking at the shark still in its tank. He touched the tank with his hand, and after the shark chomped its jaws, he recoiled back in fear.
"You know what I like to do?" Ezekiel said. "Play songs on my harmonica."
The home schooled guy took his harmonica out and played "Ocean Man" by Ween. Just as he was going to get to the third stanza, the shark howled in boredom and pretended to fall asleep by rolling over.
Ezekiel stopped playing to see what the shark just did and sighed. "I know music doesn't kill animals eh. I'm not that naive."
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The scene flashed to Heather and her raccoon lounging about. "I've already taught you manners, but I don't have anything else to do."
The queen bee's face lit up with inspiration. "I know." She lifted up the raccoon. "Want to help me sabotage the others? I'll give you the entire box of treats if you do."
The raccoon thought about it, but complied.
Confessional: Heather
"This will almost be like sabotaging my competition in the ballet competition, only this time, it's on a reality show," Heather said.
Confessional Ends
Lindsay's chameleon was now orange-colored. "My hair looks like it's colored orange, but that's not the case," Lindsay expressed her frustration.
Behind her, Heather had hooked her raccoon to a fishing line. She swung it over Lindsay's head, allowing for the raccoon to use a can of spray paint on Lindsay's hair.
Seeing what color the hair was now, the chameleon turned white.
"That's definitely wrong," Lindsay said while the raccoon resprayed her hair brown, causing the chameleon to turn into that color. "Wrong again!" Her hair got sprayed pink. "My hair isn't even close to pink!"
Not wanting to be exposed, Heather quickly reeled her raccoon back and took off.
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The camera flashed back to the kitchen. The bear was stirring pancake mix and flour in a big bowl as Shawn watched him.
"I work in a bakery, so making cake is my first lesson in cooking," Shawn instructed. "I need to use the bathroom. Keep stirring until I come back."
After Shawn left, the bear decided to search the cabinets for more ingredients. The raccoon, who was under the table, crept from under there and stood near the bowl.
They took out a bottle of maple syrup, and quickly squirted it all onto the bowl. As soon as the raccoon was done, they went back to hiding when the bear came back with the ingredients.
The bear added some sugar into their bowl and resumed stirring the mix, unaware of the syrup. Heather saw her pet return back and they smiled at their sabotage.
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Meanwhile, Ezekiel was bringing a set of books with him. "Alright, shark. I think you'd like to read a story."
He took out "The History of Canada" and turned to page one. "This book is one of my favorites. It describes how Canada was made."
Seeing the book that was picked, the shark silently whined before taking out some earplugs and placing them into their ears. Afterwards, they faked a smile just to show that they're paying attention.
"I knew you'd like the story," Ezekiel looked up from his book, unaware of the fact that the shark wasn't listening.
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A flash took the scene to a stock shot of the film lot before another cut took it to Ezekiel, Chef, and Chris sitting at a judge's table, the contestants and their animal buddies waiting around in front of it. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to judge the animal buddies."
"Why does the bear have frosting on their lips?" Lindsay asked Shawn after seeing the animal lick their lips.
"It's a secret," Shawn replied.
"Heather!" Chris called, earning the attention of the mean girl and her partner. "You and your raccoon are up first!"
"About that," Heather walked up. "I didn't teach my raccoon much of anything," she said, causing Chris to frown at her.
Heather soon whispered to her raccoon, and before anyone else knew it, the raccoon sprung up and snatched Ezekiel's crochet hat.
"That's my hat you're taking!" Ezekiel protested as the raccoon returned to Heather.
"But I did teach it how to snatch and grab," Heather said.
Chris and Chef looked at each other and held up two signs with numbers on it. "Ten!" Chris announced with a smile.
Ezekiel revealed his score. "I give it a six personally!"
Heather glared at the boy and hurled his hat at his face.
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"Alright chameleon," Chris said next, "give it all you got."
The chameleon stood on Lindsay's shoulder and turned its color blonde like the girl's hair color.
The three judges clapped and gave Lindsay an eight.
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"Shawn," Chris told the remaining contestant. "Time to see what your bear cooked up." He opened the pot and saw a chocolate cake with maple syrup surrounding it. "Why is there maple syrup?"
"I don't know," Shawn shrugged. "The bear must've put it in as a surprise." He got slapped in the head by the bear. "What? I didn't give you any syrup."
Chef took the first bite. "This is an eight. The cake is good, but it gets hard to scrape off your teeth."
Chris was next. "Nine out of ten. I'd like the dessert better if you had properly planned it out."
Ezekiel was the last one. "Maple syrup goes great with everything," he smiled. "Especially cake. This scored ten points!"
"If it makes us look good, I applaud you for your skills," Shawn complimented the bear.
"Points have been tallied," Chris announced. "And the winner of the first challenge is Shawn!"
"Yes!" Shawn cheered, but noticed Ezekiel still eating the cake. "Uh, Ezekiel, are you gonna share with us?"
Ezekiel stopped eating when he heard him. "It is your cake, so yeah."
"I do get first dibs," Chris grabbed a piece before turning to look at the camera. "Be right back," he said with a wink.
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(Commercial break)
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The scene faded back in to a shot of a dirt road running through some unidentified forest just as a bus pulled up. Its door opened with a hiss, and Chris stepped off. "Here we are gang! Don't you just love field trips?"
Following him off the bus were the raccoon and Heather, then Lindsay with her chameleon on her shoulder, and finally Shawn who had to pull his bear through by the paw.
"The woods? Again?" Heather asked.
"Your next challenge is to find your way back to the film lot," Chris told them as an angled shot of some trees nearby was shown. "A ten mile hike through these woods," the camera panned back to the castmates, "using only your animal buddies to guide you," the host added and the shot moved over to the raccoon, chameleon, and bear as they shrugged in ignorance.
"But be careful," Chris warned. "Several vicious and life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."
"Who would do such a thing?" Lindsay got scared.
"Hint; it's the only guy here," Heather said.
"It wasn't me, so obviously it was you," Shawn accused Chris.
"Correct!" Chris confirmed. "First one back wins invincibility. Shawn gets to shave thirty minutes off his final time for winning the first challenge. Everyone ready?"
"Wait, where's Ezekiel?" Lindsay asked. "And where's that shark?"
Chris chuckled a bit. "They're just spending time together."
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Ezekiel was standing on a rock supervising his shark. "I only have a couple of hours left before I can go home, and it's just you and me."
He realized that his pet had brought more sharks into the stream of water. "What the heck? Chris never told me I had to watch all of you."
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"See you all back at the film lot," Chris told them as he took a step onto the bus, "and good luck." He boarded the bus, and moments later the door slid shut and it sped off in a cloud of dust.
The three teens lingered in the area for a moment, then slowly split up. Heather and the raccoon went left, Lindsay and the chameleon went right, and Shawn and the bear stood still.
Shawn saw the girls going their own ways. "I know how to get back. I'm a bit of a navigator," he told her companion, who smiled at the knowledge.
Confessional: Shawn
"If you want to know the inside of my bunker, check it out!" Shawn said before pulling out blueprints and showing his first page. "Entrance chamber with eye-scan entry and remote lasers here, here, and here. And here and here. And here." He turned to the next page. "Master bedroom with bite-proof bedspread and weaponized pillows, and just in case…" the page turned, "this is the panic room." He flipped one last time. "And this is the panic room inside the panic room. Can't be too careful."
Confessional Ends
Heather and her raccoon were shown wandering through the woods and searching around.
"How did Jo manage to do this part of the challenge?" Heather rambled. "It was a stranded episode, but I still don't know which way she went."
The raccoon rolled their eyes, but still followed Heather.
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The camera flashed to Lindsay walking through the woods. "No offense," she said to her companion, "but I think I should've picked the bear. Shawn must be lucky riding on their back."
Whether or not the chameleon got offended, they turned themselves invisible. "What the? Where did you go? I can't lose you!" Lindsay frantically ran about trying to locate her pet.
The camera moved to show her stepping on a string hidden behind a small shrub. It snapped, and a rock was launched out of a nearby bush by what looked like a small catapult. It hit Lindsay in the stomach, causing her to kneel over.
"Those were the traps," Lindsay wheezed out before collapsing.
Confessional: Lindsay
"One of the things I would've liked to do with my money is spend it on a lifetime supply of lip gloss, but I canceled it because there's more things to value," Lindsay confessed. "Like creating a brand new style of lip gloss."
Confessional Ends
Back with Ezekiel, he was sitting down as he watched the sharks racing each other. He pulled out some cake pieces from the one Shawn and his pet created and proceeded to eat them.
"I should've packed them in a bag if I didn't want syrup in the pockets, but I'll make do," Ezekiel shrugged before a shark swallowed all of his pieces. "Hey! If you wanted a piece, you should have just asked!" he said angrily.
This wasn't the smartest thing to say as the sharks chomped their jaws and went towards his direction.
Not wanting to potentially die, Ezekiel took out the last of his cake slices. "If you want these, go get them!" He threw them far away, causing the sharks to forget about Ezekiel and swim for the cake. "That was close."
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The camera cut to Heather as he followed the raccoon. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" she asked. "I am not going to lose because of you leading us in circles."
The raccoon growled, but still stayed by her side.
"Of course I'll be upset," Heather replied. "I have plans for when I win the million bucks."
Confessional: Heather
"When I win, I'm thinking of my own spin-off series. The World According to Heather," Heather described it. "Luckily, I'm up against the dimwit and the nutcase. So they may as well just give me the money, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
"Chameleon, where did you wander off to?" Lindsay yelled as she walked through the woods, "We have to be together so we can make it to the film lot."
The camera followed her to show that she was rapidly approaching a large patch of ground with a suspiciously large number of sticks and branches on it. "Could this be the way home?" As soon as Lindsay stepped onto the odd patch of ground, the branches snapped and she fell with a holler into the pit that had been hidden. "Booby traps!"
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Shawn and his bear were strolling along. You know," he told his companion, "I can say that I trust you. If you were robotic or built by Chris and the producers, there wouldn't be any trust." The bear giggled happily.
The camera followed them as they came across a pile of leaves. As soon as they hit it, a net seemed to appear in the leaves under their feet and dragged them up in a suspended bundle.
"This isn't good. We have to get down," Shawn mentioned.
Confessional: Shawn
"I never thought I would see the day where I got captured in a booby trap," Shawn said.
Confessional Ends
"I have an idea!" Shawn said as he grabbed some nearby blueberries and gave them to the bear. "You eat as many blueberries as you can. If we're lucky, your increased weight can get us out."
Shawn took out a piece of wood bark carved into a knife. "I'll use this to cut holes into the trap just to help us."
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The camera flashed to Heather and the raccoon outside a small cave. "I don't think there's a time for breaks," she told her companion. The raccoon snarled viciously and crawled into the cave. "As long as we're quick," she complied and followed her pet.
Inside the cave was the raccoon's surprisingly luxurious den. There was a reading corner, a kitchen, a ping-pong table, and even a big screen TV.
"You guys are civilized?" Heather said in shock upon seeing the den. "This resembles my house, but much smaller." A raccoon walked by and offered her a sandwich from a tray. "One sandwich? I'll take more than that," she said as she took three.
The raccoon, holding a paddle, chirped at her from the ping-pong table. "Ping pong? Like I would pass up on that offer," Heather said before going over.
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The camera went to the pit Lindsay fell into. She had dirt all over her body along with leaves, her boots were gone, leaving her barefooted, and she was drifting into insanity.
"I'm so hungry," Lindsay croaked out. "What can I eat that's edible?"
She pulled out her lipstick and took the tube off before biting into it. "Tastes just like cherries."
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Meanwhile, as Shawn was sawing through the net, the bear had its belly and mouth covered from all the berries they were currently eating on. After a few more seconds, the net finally burst and the duo fell into the ground.
"We're free!" Shawn whooped. "Time to get back to the lot."
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The scene skipped ahead to a shot of the afternoon sun high in the sky, the camera panning down and to the right to show Chris standing alone by the cast trailers. A little ways to the left was a meager finish line flanked by tall red flags.
"Shawn and his bear!" Chris announced as he saw them coming to the lot. "Nice one!" He proceeded to high five Shawn. "You're the first team to arrive, and for being the first one back, you get a guaranteed spot in the final two."
Confessional: Shawn
"Going to the finale!" Shawn whooped with the bear next to him. "Training pets can be a hassle, but as long as they're not your enemies, you can bond well with them!"
Confessional Ends
"Where is everyone?" Shawn asked the host, both watching the woods along with the bear.
"Sure they'll be here any minute," Chris answered while looking at his watch.
"I'm back!" the voice of Ezekiel announced as he entered the scene.
"Where's the shark, Zeke?" Chris wondered.
"It met some friends in the water," Ezekiel described the situation, "or its family."
"As long as a mammal is reunited with their family, I'm cool with it," Chris shrugged.
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Heather was still with the raccoons. She was in the middle of a ping pong game with one of the raccoons. Wanting to win, she picked up a sandwich slice and hurled it at the raccoon's eyes, causing them to miss the ball.
"Game, set, match," Heather closed her eyes haughtily. "You lose, and I win." The raccoon chittered furiously at her foul play. "It's not my fault I'm more strategic than you."
The raccoon jumped off the table and went away. "After all, everyone knows that raccoons are inferior vermin who do nothing but eat trash and act as pest control." Heather was unaware of the raccoons gasping in shock and getting angry with each passing word.
"If someone told me there would be a raccoon who'd be a sleazy criminal or a mischievous slacker, I would believe them," Heather continued her speech before walking to the exit. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go win a challenge."
The queen bee was stopped in her tracks by every single raccoon blocking her path and growling vengefully. "Get out of my way, you useless idiots, or I will…" she didn't get to finish her threat since they all pounced on her and began tearing her apart, causing the girl to let out an ear-piercing scream.
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The camera panned to the sun as it set, then the moon rose, then the moon set and the sun rose. The shot panned back to Chris, Ezekiel, and Shawn waiting for the remaining contestants, with Chris having grown a large and bushy beard, and the bear asleep.
"Any... minute... now," Chris said weakly, still looking at his watch.
"It's been days," Shawn pointed out. "Maybe we should send out a search party."
"And here she comes now!" Chris announced brightly before speeding off screen. The camera pulled back to show Lindsay arriving, though she was still unwell and mental.
"Are you ok?" Shawn asked. "What happened to you?"
"I fell into a pit," Lindsay shivered with a bit of a snarl. "How come you're not as beaten up as me? Huh?"
"You're being really harsh eh," Ezekiel noticed.
"How would you feel if you lost your pet?" Lindsay got in Ezekiel's face. "I spent hours looking for that chameleon and even then, that thing's still lost, so sue me!"
"What are you talking about?" Ezekiel wondered. "Your pet is still on your shoulder?"
The chameleon finally made its presence known by dropping his camouflage on Lindsay's shoulder. "My pet's been there all along and I didn't even notice?" Lindsay said.
"Pretty much," Shawn confirmed the fact. "They're really good at hiding their appearance."
"Sorry about my meltdown," Lindsay apologized sheepishly as she returned back to normal. "I just lost my mind."
"The last person to return to me is… Heather?" Chris announced, but grew stunned at what he was seeing along with the other teenagers.
Heather had scratches all over her body and was bleeding a bit, but most importantly, her hair was cut off and it rendered her bald.
"I will never, ever, insult a raccoon in my life!" Heather bitterly spat out with a scowl.
"Where did all your hair go?" Lindsay asked uncomfortably.
"Those raccoon creatures ripped it all out!" Heather said. "They even made necklaces out of them!"
"That must suck for you, Heather," Shawn stifled his laughter.
"Shawn, she's seriously injured," Lindsay pointed out. "Don't laugh about this now."
"She kinda deserves her own pain," Shawn said in defense, "but I see your point."
"We'll see if you're still laughing after we get to the elimination ceremony," Heather said furiously.
"Speaking of that," Chris interrupted, "there won't be an elimination ceremony this time around."
"But I won immunity for this challenge," Shawn brought up. "And you did say I was immune from elimination."
"That is true, but I did say bring your animal buddies with you to the film lot," Chris emphasized. "You and Lindsay did exactly that, but Heather seems to be missing one raccoon."
"That raccoon attacked me!" Heather yelled. "No way was I going to bring that rodent with me."
"You still ignored the rules," Chris continued. "As punishment, you're eliminated from the game."
"WHAT???!!!" Heather screamed. "You can't be serious right now!"
"I am being serious Heather," Chris grinned. "Not only did you disregard the rules, but since this is the final three, and the vote would've been blatantly obvious, I'm being generous by instantly eliminating you. And besides, your injuries would've slowed you down."
"Wow," Lindsay emphasized. "I never saw this coming!"
"This cannot be fair!" Heather protested. "I worked hard to make it to where I am!" She saw her raccoon walk by her with the necklace of her hair. "And now I'm losing because of these stupid critters?!" She kicked the raccoon away from her, causing it to land near the chameleon and bear.
Having enough, Lindsay stepped forward. "You lost because of your attitude! You've been lying to us and using us for your own selfish benefit even since you arrived on the island and you still continue to act like this in this season!" As she spoke, Shawn, Chris, Chef, Ezekiel, and the animals all listened to her.
"You've done a lot of damage to not only me, but to my friends as well! After everything we've been through, I'm comfortable in saying that you one-hundred percent deserve to not win the grand prize!"
"All the bad stuff people say about you is true. You're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little..."
The music rose up rapidly, culminating in a hand gesture that had to be pixelized and a long string of words that had to be bleeped. Heather was shown utterly stunned by the verbal assault, Chris and Chef were shown raising their eyebrows in surprise (though Chris was smiling all the way), Ezekiel and Shawn were gaping, and the animals widened their eyes in blatant shock.
Despite all this, Lindsay was still not finished. "You got everything your karma owed you. And P.S., your shoes are tacky!" Her last insult earned various laughter from the two hat-wearing boys, the animals, and even the hosts.
Confessional: Shawn
"Heather is finally gone!" Shawn celebrated. "We promised to take her down, and we did just that. I'm one step closer to my dream, and I just have to battle Lindsay for it."
Confessional: Lindsay
"I don't know what came over me," Lindsay confessed before confidently facing the front. "Oh wait, yes I do. Heather's a total-" the words she said earlier were bleeped out.
Confessionals End
[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host's highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Gilded Chris.]
\
The scene flashed to Chris and the final three already at the red carpet.
"Heather, it's time for you to walk the red carpet into the Lame-osine!" Chris announced jovially.
"Fine! But you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" Heather stormed off.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. It's gonna be a long ride," Chris said whilst following the mean girl.
Heather was now sitting inside the limo. "A long ride to court when I sue you for everything you've got!" Heather yelled back at the host. "You want drama? You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name will be mud on every block from here to Cape Breton!"
Chris slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "Lindsay! Shawn!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two smiled brightly at the camera. "The Final Two! One of you will become a millionaire! And the other...will not!"
The host raised his arms and knocked the two down in the process. "Tune in to our most controversial episode ever, of, Total! Drama! Action!"
(Roll the Credits)
\
(Bonus Clip)
Heather was glaring at the camera. She kept her cool for a few seconds, but then erupted a loud yell before going crazy. She tore through the seats, punched a hole in the window, ripped a carpet, and threw a cushion seat at the camera, ending the scene.
Author's Note: Heather was always getting third place no matter what, but I hope her karma was worth the wait.
16th/15th: Harold
16th/15th: Dawn
14th: Lightning
13th: Sky
12th: Jo
11th: Beth
10th: Brick
9th: Duncan
8th: Mike
7th: Amy
6th: Rodney
5th: Noah
4th: Courtney
3rd: Heather