Chapter 17: Dinner and a Show

"Are we hanging out before dinner?" Naruto asked Itachi. He wanted to spend more time with the young man instead of going back to an empty room.

"Sorry," Itachi told him in the same tone he often used with Sasuke when turning him down. "I should probably get some stuff done before dinner. And you should rest up."

Naruto scoffed. "Rest from what? I haven't been doing much of anything. And I know you're going to tell me that I should enjoy it and I'll be so busy and blah blah blah, but…" Naruto sighed disappointedly. "I just… didn't want to be alone."

Itachi could tell the boy was lonely but he didn't want to put Naruto in more danger. The incident a few minutes ago was still too soon to relax his guard. Even worse, he was certain the Akatsuki remembered seeing him. Itachi was too concerned about getting Naruto far away from them that he didn't erase their memories. This meant there was a good chance they would come after Naruto again.

Arguably, Naruto would be safer with Itachi than alone in an empty hotel room, but he had a feeling the others would approach him before searching the hotel believing Naruto would be with him. He didn't want to put Naruto in such a position. Besides, if the Akatsuki were going to confront him about it, it was ample opportunity to mess with their minds and make them forget while tossing in a few things for fun.

Deciding Naruto would be a distraction and a hinderance, Itachi had to make sure he was far away from him. There was a chance Jiraiya would come looking for him as well, so he had to make sure the sage didn't look very far.

"Next time, ok, Naruto?" Itachi told him with a smile.

Naruto frowned. "Well… Ok. I guess."

Itachi playfully chased Naruto towards his room, making sure Naruto left in a good mood. When he saw the smile on the boy's face, Itachi felt better.

As he turned to go back to his wing, he couldn't help but feel a nagging within him. He couldn't place what it was. Just… something.

"That dumbass piece of crap is gonna pay," Hidan snarled as he covered himself with his partner's robe.

"How could you lose your clothes?" Kakuzu asked. He was unwilling to give Hidan any article of clothing but couldn't have him hang around naked either, relinquishing only his robe to cover his body.

"I didn't lose them!" Hidan snapped. "Itachi did it."

"Itachi stole your clothes?" Kakuzu didn't hide his skepticism.

"No! He… He…" Hidan frowned angrily. "He did something. That's all I can say for sure."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't give me attitude, ass-face! I'm telling ya, he's screwing with us!"

"Why would he do that?" Kakuzu asked. "Seems unbelievably childish for him."

Hidan looked at Deidara's shoes, nicely polished and resting on a white cloth on the floor. "Tell me," Hidan began. "What do you see there on that white cloth?"

Kakuzu didn't bother looking. "You mean the bars of gold?"

Hidan laughed. "Really? 'Cause I see Deidara's shoes."

Kakuzu looked from the shoes to his partner. "You're insane. They're gold."

"Itachi's gotten to you, too. You think you see gold but it's just Deidara's shoes you took off his damn feet."

Kakuzu held up one of the shoes. "It looks like gold, it feels like gold and it smells like gold."

"Does it taste like gold, too?" Hidan asked, raising his brow.

"How would I be unable to tell it wasn't gold when clearly…"

"Genjutsu, you dumbass! Can't that crap fool all five senses? He's got you convinced it's gold when it ain't."

"I know gold when I see it."

"If you think I'm messing with you, then go ask anyone here at the hotel. A staff woman or something. Ask them what they see and they'll tell you."

"How would I know they're not in league with you?" Kakuzu retorted. "You couldn've told them to tell me that just to keep up the illusion."

"The only illusion is the fact you're seeing gold on something Deidara wears on his stupid feet!"

"Would you keep your voice down? Last thing I want is for someone to rob me or this gold."

"Yeah, because who would steal gold that looks just like a pair of shoes? What a clever disguise. Or… hear me out… they could be… wait for it… shoes!"

"Stop your yelling."

"Why? Scared someone would come steal your shoes? Who would do that other than a master criminal? Let's steal someone's sticky, muddy shoes!"

"You've made your point, now shut up."

"I don't think I have, Kakuzu. Tell me something. If they're not Deidara's shoes, why is he running around barefoot?"

"Who knows? It's none of my business."

"That's it!" Hidan reached for the shoes. "What does it take you wake you up? I'll prove it."

"Get your hands off that or I'll kill you!"

"You can try!"

Hidan and his partner ended up wrestling on the floor for the shoes. At one point, Hidan ended up spooning Kakuzu who held the shoes to his chest protectively. Hidan kept screaming and Kakuzu hollered back.

The door to their room slid open and Itachi stood staring at them. "I think this has gone on long enough."

Hidan stopped trying to reach for the shoes and moved away from his partner to attack Itachi. "You! You sorry excuse for a bast-"

Itachi snapped his fingers. "Sleep."

Both men slumped over, landing on top of each other looking serenely calm.

"Kakuzu, when you wake up, you will no longer see Deidara's shoes as gold. You will see them as what they truly are. Hidan, you will no longer confuse your left and your right."

Itachi kept the other command in place just because he loved how uncomfortable it made Hidan. Of course, for every command he removed, he had to replace it with another one, didn't he?

Smirking, Itachi continued. "Hidan, whenever you think of hurting me, you will punch yourself in the crotch." His smirk grew with an additional thought. "And Kakuzu, you will…"

Deidara dragged himself back to the hotel, temper mounting every step of the way. He had left Sasori behind, insisting he needed time to himself. Kisame helped hold him back when Sasori tried to follow him. When he reached the lobby, his angry face was so alarming that he managed to frighten off the woman at the front desk.

"If I see that Itachi, I'm going to rip his guts out through his mouth. I'm gonna stick my hand down his sorry little neck, and I'm gonna mutilate him! That Uchiha isn't gonna get away with this. He thinks he's so smart, well, guess what, Itachi? You're not getting the jump on me."

Itachi's fingers snapped right next to Deidara's ear. "Sleep."

Deidara wobbled on his feet then collapsed into Itachi's chest. Deidara was so blinding with rage that he hadn't sensed Itachi hiding above him on the ceiling, nor did he notice him climb down to stand behind him.

Itachi dragged Deidara over to a bench along the wall and sat him down, letting Deidara's head rest against his shoulder. Itachi spoke softly into Deidara's ear, arm around his shoulders comfortingly.

"Deidara, you are going to forget your rage towards me. You don't remember seeing the Tailed-Beast Naruto at this hotel, either. The more I speak to you, the calmer you feel."

Deidara's head started to slump forward off Itachi's shoulder and onto his chest, relaxing more and more.

"In fact, the more I speak, the sleepier you feel. You find my voice very soothing. It relaxes you greatly. My voice washes over you like a wave of tranquility."

Deidara was completely limp and starting to drool.

"You adore Sasori. You are going to return his affection for you. You two are madly in love with each other and are unafraid to express that love publicly."

Deidara didn't make a sound.

Itachi started to stand up, supporting Deidara's shoulders with both hands. He gently laid him down on the bench and got ready to flee the scene. "Awake," he said, snapping his fingers and disappeared.

"Nugh?" Deidara mumbled, waking up. He sat up on the bench and stretch as if waking up from a long nap. He slowly looked around, confused and half-awake. "How did I get back here? Wait… That's right. I walked here. I remember now."

He remembered walking back to the hotel by himself. He was so motivated. He was… He…

He couldn't remember.

Wasn't he angry about something? Was he? He didn't remember being angry at all.

"I wonder what I was doing?" Deidara stood up and walked back to his room in a daze. He tried to stimulate his senses by rubbing his face with his hand. "I feel really out of it. Maybe I should take a nap."

It was just about time for dinner. Itachi had been monitoring the time to make sure he didn't miss it. Now that it was about that time, Itachi stood up and went to the dining room. This was certain to be an entertaining dinner.

At the same time, Sasori went into the room next to his and tossed something at Hidan. "Found these in the woods."

Hidan grabbed his clothes and quickly put them on. He returned Kakuzu's robe which he reluctantly put back on his shoulder. Deidara's shoes were sitting next to the door. More specifically, had been flung against the wall and landed by the door. Kakuzu was no longer interested in them.

"I'm sure Deidara will be just thrilled." Sasori motioned with his head. "Dinner's ready. Don't keep people waiting."

"Aw, what do you care?" Hidan remarked, getting up.

The door opened again and Deidara stood in the threshold. "Hey, guys, got dinner…"

He stopped when he saw who else was in the room. Sasori was looking right at him with those lovely brown eyes. He had never seen Sasori in this light before. A new feeling was coming over him. Engulfing him. He felt so hot and a little lightheaded.

He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe and began to play with a strand of his blond hair. "Hey, Sasori…" he said breathily and fanned his eyelashes at him.

Sasori looked at him in surprise and delight, ignoring the fact he had just smacked Hidan in the back of the head. "Hey, Deidara." He had never seen Deidara pose like that before. He liked it.

Deidara bit his lip, fanning his lashes again. "We should probably go to dinner. Right?"

"Right. I guess we should."

Deidara pulled himself away from the doorframe but continued to play with his hair, twirling it around his finger. "I guess we should."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds nice."

"Mm." Deidara licked his lips and bit them seductively. "Kept you waiting long enough… my man."

Kakuzu and Hidan watched the exchange from where they were in silence until Hidan finally broke that silence. "What the hell am I looking at?"

When Hidan saw them again, they were sitting across from him at the dining table playing with each other's hair and exchanging loving looks. Hidan's eye twitched when Deidara traced Sasori's lips with his finger, drawing moans and sighs from his partner.

"I don't know what this is, but I don't want to be looking at it while I'm eating."

"Then move your seat," said Kakuzu.

"They should move it to another room."

Kisame tried to defuse the situation by calling attention to what he was most interested at the table. "Well, doesn't this food look good? We should probably dig in."

"Mmm," Deidara moaned, pressing his forehead to Sasori's. "Looks tasty."

"So satisfying," Sasori moaned back.

Deidara chuckled. "I knew a puppet could give me wo-"

"Would you stop?!" Hidan snapped. "I am not eating with this freakshow going on! Take it to another room, freaks of nature!"

Deidara ignored him, unable to take his eyes off Sasori. "Sorry, but I don't think I can get up. All the strength has gone from my legs. Guess you got a way of making me weak-kneed, hn."

"Yee!" Hidan shut his eyes tight and tried to take his mind off what was going on under the table. "Really? Now? With this crap going on?"

He said the word loud enough for Kisame next to him to hear it and started singing opera.

"Now is not the time for that, shark-face," Hidan snarled.

Sasori looked away briefly, noticing a pattern with Kisame. Deidara's hand guided him back to his partner and didn't give it another thought. "We should only have eyes for each other."

"Oh, barf," Hidan said, rolling his eyes. "This is sickening."

Sasori picked up some food with his chopsticks and began to feed Deidara. Deidara did the same but Sasori didn't swallow any of the food. It just ended up all over his face which Deidara then tried to lick off.

"Knock it off! I cannot look at this disgusting display while I'm eating!" Hidan's eyes then moved towards Itachi, suspecting he was the cause. The things he'd like to do to him…

Hidan suddenly punched himself in the crotch and hit the same note Kisame sang for his big finish. Kisame snapped out of it and looked at Hidan who was doubled over in pain.

"What's your problem?"

"Not… now," Hidan wheezed.

Itachi ate his dinner without a word, enjoying his meal entirely. He had asked the staff to make him some rich food to his liking and not charge him extra for it. His meal was better than the rest of the food on the table and he had it all to himself.

Even Kisame noticed it and made a comment which prompted Kakuzu to complain about the cost. "Relax," Itachi told him. "It's not your wallet paying for it. I made sure it was complimentary."

While feeding each other, Deidara started to slow down a little, but not because he was full. With his body turned towards Sasori, Deidara had Itachi's voice at his back. Even though he wasn't paying attention to what was being said, hearing his voice was enough and started to feel tired.

It wasn't just in the trance where Deidara felt relaxed hearing Itachi's voice. It was in general. No longer in a trance, Deidara still felt soothed when he heard Itachi speak, even if it wasn't directed towards him.

"Do you have any idea what expense is?" Kakuzu asked pointedly.

"When it isn't your money paying for it, does it really matter? It's not going to affect you. I already told you that it was free. How could free be damaging to your wallet?" Itachi reasoned.

"Ah…!" Deidara gave a loud yawn, his affectionate pawing becoming listless.

"Are you alright, Deidara?" asked Sasori.

"I'm feeling a little sleepy," he admitted. "I feel so content around you that I just want to hold you and not do anything." Deidara rested his head on Sasori's shoulder and nuzzled him. "Can I stay like this for a while? You make me feel so serene."

"Sure thing."

Kakuzu gave up the argument and poked at his food on the plate in front of him.

Hidan looked at the two partners cuddling each other in front of him. "This is better but very hard to tolerate. You're quick to point out things with Itachi. Don't you have anything to say about these two?"

Itachi lifted his cup of water, having it clang against the rim of his plate.

Kakuzu suddenly sprang up, slapped himself on the behind and cried, "Who's your daddy?"

Everyone turned to look at him.

"What the hell was that?"

Kakuzu slowly sat back down. "I… don't… know." He was beside himself with bewilderment. He had no idea why he had just done that. He wasn't even fully aware he was doing it, like something out of a dream.

This seemed like Itachi's work, so Hidan turned around to yell at him when he suddenly punched himself in the crotch again. "Ooh! Dammit," he squeaked and fell over.

Sasori eyed Itachi suspiciously. He knew this was Itachi's doing. He also knew that he had done something to him. Sasori knew this wasn't how he normally was. Something had changed but he couldn't help himself. Were his feelings his own or fabricated to suit Itachi's will?

Something told him that the way he felt about his partner Deidara wasn't real. This feeling of intense affection wasn't his own. Yet, somehow, he couldn't help it. What he wanted to do was him and not him at the same time.

Itachi's power was strong to influence him this much. However, he didn't seem to be affected in the same way as the others. He was mildly aware while the others remained oblivious.

If awareness was the key, then perhaps he should inform the others to better combat this before Itachi had them do something unconscionable.

Deidara nuzzled Sasori's jaw affectionately and held him close, like a child holding their favorite stuffed animal.

It felt good and Sasori wanted to reciprocate, but he had to resist. This wasn't right. What he was doing, how he was acting, what he was feeling. It was all Itachi's influence and he had to fight it. He couldn't give in. He couldn't let Itachi have this power over him.

What he wanted wasn't what he wanted.

But…

Sasori shut his eyes tightly, trying to will these feelings away, telling himself that it wasn't real.

He was madly in love with Deidara.

No, he wasn't. He couldn't have been. He never felt this way before. It wasn't real.

"Why am I doing this?" Sasori whispered to himself.

Deidara looked up at him. "You say something, my man?"

Sasori looked into Deidara's eyes and saw that he, too, wasn't himself. In fact, there was a chance Deidara wasn't fully conscious. His affectionate stare looked like he was half-asleep. He was himself and not himself at the same time.

"Deidara," Sasori whispered to him. "I think Itachi's done something to us."

"Yeah?" Deidara stroked Sasori's cheek lovingly. "Think so?"

Give in. It brought such happiness. He wanted this.

Something was nagging him to accept what was happening. He wanted this.

"I… I, uh…" It was getting harder to think. He was going to give in. "I can't…"

"Can't what, hn?"

"I can't… I can't…" Sasori's will faded and he caressed Deidara's face with his hand. "I can't resist you."

Sasori was a puppet. Itachi's puppet. He couldn't break the hypnosis no matter how hard he tried. Even when he became aware of it, he slipped right back into it.

Itachi only had a little bit of food left to finish. He took his time, savoring his meal as well as the show. He tried to remain indifferent, but truth be told, it was incredibly hard to keep a straight face.

Hidan hadn't moved for some time, his groin going through various amounts of punishment in a matter of seconds. He couldn't stomach any food and didn't dare move for fear something might happen.

"I thought you liked pain," Kakuzu commented.

"This is a little different," Hidan cracked hoarsely.

"Then stop doing it."

Hidan glared at him. "Would if I could. I don't know what's causing the other thing, but the punching thing is something I can't stop."

"What other thing?" Kakuzu asked.

"Don't want to talk about it."

"You brought it up. And honestly," Kakuzu said, nodding in the direction of Sasori and Deidara. "I'd rather hear about it than watch this freakshow."

The two were feeding each other again. Sasori put some food between his lips for Deidara to eat. He playfully ate his way up to Sasori's lips, moaning seductively as he went. As their lips were about to meet, Hidan slammed his fist on the table.

"Knock that off! No one wants to see that!"

The two looked at him as if surprised they were being watched.

"No more of this… this… This!" Hidan gestured to them with his arms.

"You don't even eat, Sasori," Kakuzu pointed out.

"I don't need to. But that doesn't mean I can't feed him off my lips."

Deidara chuckled and clasped Sasori's face in his hands. "You are a darling. Let me clean that food off your face." Deidara licked the tip of Sasori's nose. As he started to move lower towards Sasori's mouth, Hidan slammed his fist down again.

"What the hell did I just say?! You think my stomach can- Ooh!" Hidan punched himself in the crotch again. "Yup. It's in my throat now. Stomach is in my throat. Ooh!"

Itachi clanged his glass against his plate again.

"Who's your daddy?" Kakuzu cried out, slapping his butt again.

Kisame looked at his glass suspiciously. "Something in the water? What the hell?"

"It's not the water, Kisame," groaned Hidan.

"Hee-haw!"

"It's that bastard Ita- Yee!" Hidan fell away from the table, fist between his legs. "Oooh! Dammit."

"Well, it's not like you were gonna have kids anyway," said Kakuzu unsympathetically.

Hidan could barely speak, choosing to lay on the floor in a fetal position until he could move again.

Sasori and Deidara were feeding each other again. Deidara bit into a piece of sausage suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at Sasori who held it between his teeth.

Having had enough, and feeling a bit disgusted at the two, Itachi set his chopsticks down and left the table.

"Done?" Kisame asked.

"Oh, yeah."

"Don't blame ya." Kisame looked in the partners' direction. "They say if you spend enough time together, you form a close bond, but I didn't think they were like that. Painful watching them."

"Then don't watch them," Itachi advised. "Goodnight."

Hidan planned to follow Itachi but another punch to the crotch kept him down.

Itachi knew Hidan wouldn't be able to sneak into his room to do anything with that command in place. If Hidan planned on doing anything to harm him that night, he would be in too much pain to carry it out.

Maybe he'd reverse it tomorrow. Maybe.