After spending the weekend introducing Lavinia to his family, Matthew returned to his flat in London with mixed feelings. His reunion with the family had gone better than he thought it would – after all it had been four years since he had seen them all properly, Skype calls, texts and the occasional meeting with one of the family here and there wasn't the same as a family dinner. Initially, he had been anxious about meeting his family to celebrate his engagement, especially as the last four years he had been trying to move on from Mary.
Mary.
The main source of his mixed feelings.
He had wondered how their first meeting in four years would go. Would she put on that icy façade she liked to put on to protect her vulnerability? Would she ignore him entirely?
No. She wished him the best of luck and accepted his offer of a restart so they could at least be friends. After all, he had known her since she was born and they had been friends once. Long before they had become romantically involved, loved one another and then broke each other. Or at least, before she had broken him. He couldn't speak for Mary's feelings.
When she had refused to give him a straight answer to his proposal, he would have sworn he felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. All he heard was how they were still young, how she still had a year left of university and how he was still training to be a solicitor and then he had snapped and told her to forget he ever asked her and perhaps they were just living a dream and it was time to face reality, that they would never be a good match in the long run.
And then he had walked away. He had closed himself off from his family and tried to move on with his life.
Which had been difficult.
For the months that followed their breakup, all he could think about was Mary and the time they had shared together. Two beautiful years of memories, love and laughter which haunted him. So he buried himself into finishing his training and was then offered a job with a law firm in London. Four weeks after he had started his new life in the Capital, he met Lavinia. The daughter of one of the firm's named partners and he was taken aback by just how different she was to the other women he had tried to date in the years following his separation from Mary.
Lavinia was sweet natured. Caring. Kind. She worked as a healthcare assistant at Great Ormond Street Hospital and volunteered to read to the elderly and walked dogs on the weekends in Hyde Park. She fundraised for causes that she was passionate about, raising hundreds and thousands for just causes. From kids' cancer treatments to education funds in third world countries.
She was a breath of fresh air and he found himself smitten.
Slowly, he started to get to know Lavinia and the more time he spent with her, the more he felt himself healing. At the six month mark he asked her to move in with him. At the nine month mark they were talking about their future together. Four weeks ago was their one year anniversary and he proposed to her, and this time his proposal had been accepted.
Lavinia was going to be his wife. She was his chance of happiness and a bright future.
He instantly told his mother the happy news and Isobel had been thrilled. She had met Lavinia a few times when she had visited him in London but when he said he would be returning to Downton with Lavinia, noting that he didn't want to start a new life without making up with the only people who had been his family, Isobel's concern had instantly turned to Mary's reaction to the news. And ever since that conversation with his mother, Matthew had dreaded seeing the family again.
He knew that Robert and Cora would want him to be happy, whether he found happiness with their daughter or another, they would be happy for him. He knew that Edith and Sybil would be happy at the news: Edith very rarely saw eye-to-eye with Mary and Sybil was just a kind-hearted soul. He wasn't sure what to expect from Mary, but her reaction had surprised him.
Patrick was the one person who he knew without a doubt would try and cause trouble. His 'cousin' had always been that way. Patrick's father James had been Robert's cousin and had died when Patrick was four. Patrick's mother had died from postpartum complications and they had no other family aside from Robert and Cora. So, Robert and Cora being the kind people they were, took the wayward boy in and raised him as if he were their own son.
Matthew knew that Patrick loved being the centre of attention. He was the heir presumptive to the estate given that the Earldom only passed through the male line and Mary could never inherit her father's title. But Patrick's dream of being the 8th Earl of Grantham came crashing down when he was eleven. Matthew remembered that day like it was yesterday.
He had been fourteen. Patrick was eleven, Mary ten, Edith nine and Sybil six. Cora had long given up on the idea of having another child. From many conversations over the years, he knew that Robert and Cora had been trying to conceive from the moment Sybil was six months old. But it never happened. Then one day, Cora had been violently sick for over a week, was barely able to get out of bed when the doctor was called. Dr. Clarkson did a home visit as Cora had been unable to get out of bed when the doctor's examination and urine sample stated that Cora was pregnant. Some follow-up blood tests, and a scan confirmed she was halfway through the pregnancy and the news had hit Patrick like a brick had been thrown through a window.
For the next few months, Patrick was boasting about how Cora's new baby would be another girl just like the first three had been. He bragged at school, in the village, at functions that he was still the heir and would be the next Earl when Robert passed away. Unfortunately for Patrick, Cora gave birth in the middle of the night to an eight pound baby boy who had a healthy set of lungs on him. Robert and Cora were overjoyed to have a son of their own and named the baby Edward.
Edward was now fourteen, shared Edith's fair hair and Cora's blue eyes. He was tall, like Robert and as a child liked to climb trees on the estate. He no attended Eton College as Robert had done and held his father's subsidiary title: Viscount Downton.
Matthew thought it a blessing that Edward was the complete opposite of Patrick, he was doted on by his parents just as Patrick had been but luckily, the boy had more attention and time with his older sisters than his cousin. Mary was fiercely protective of her little brother and it made Matthew smile whenever they had come home for the holidays from school and saw Mary spend every second she could with her brother. There were so many days as the years had gone on that Matthew could fondly remember witnessing lovely moments between the brother and sister. At four, Edward had been taught to ride a horse by Mary and how to care for the stead. At six, Mary had taught her brother to read some of the classics as well as a six-year-old could. At eight, Mary gave Edward a handmade bookmark with their initials on the back, a gift that Mary had made to help Edward with the transition that she was moving away for university.
It had been witnessing her soften over the years, forging a bond with her baby brother that had made Matthew fall in love with her. Of course, she wasn't as awful as people truly believed. They just didn't know her as well as he did. When Mary had been fourteen, she had started to spend more time with him and they developed a friendship, something deeper than the 'friendship' they had had since she was born. She would confide in him; they would email frequently and as she got older, she would try and flirt with him. Of course, he would never flirt back, their age gap of four year bothered him. He had to set firm boundaries with her, stating that they could only have a friendship within what their families had allowed, that they could only have the cousin relationship they had been comfortable with growing up together. That it was wrong.
But on her eighteenth birthday, they had celebrated with a party at the big house before they had headed into York to go clubbing with a few of Mary's boarding school friends, Patrick, and himself. She had seemed more at ease, more flirty than normal until she asked him to take her outside for some fresh air.
The bouncer held the door open for them and they allowed the back of their hands to be stamped that would permit them re-entry when they were ready. Other clubbers were a few feet away in various little groups, smoking and chatting as Mary pulled him by the arm away from the rest of the people, looking for a quiet corner. Matthew followed, grinning with her as they heard the loud vibration of the music inside the building.
"So…do you feel different now you're an adult?" he asked.
Mary shrugged, taking a step closer to him.
"I don't know, Matthew, the real question is, how do you feel?" she asked.
Matthew frowned, his heart racing as she toyed with the collar of his shirt.
"I..uh…I don't-"
"The question is, do you see me differently now that I'm legally an adult?" she questioned huskily.
The tone of her voice…the way her eyes were lit up mischievously holding his stunned gaze.
"I'm not that teenage girl you chastised for flirting with you anymore. We can cross that line you've drawn out so thickly."
"Mary…"
She leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly to his before pulling away. She looked up at him with such confidence, a grin on her face as she noted his confusion. His mind and heart were racing, questioning if this was real, if it had really happened.
"Matthew, I know what I want for my birthday." She whispered.
"What is that?" he asked quietly.
"You."
His time with Mary was something he had tried to bury since he withdrew his proposal to her. It hurt him to much to remember every moment of their lives together for a two year period. And seeing her for the first time in four years to introduce his girlfriend to the family was starting to bring it all up.
On Monday morning he was sat at the little round wooden table that stood next to the large window of his flat drinking slowly from his morning mug of tea with his cereal laying forgotten on the table. He looked out of the window, his gaze noting each and every building of the central London skyline and wondering just what Mary was doing at this moment. Was she getting ready for work? Was she feeling just as unsettled as he was?
Footsteps padding on the carpet brought him out of his thoughts, he turned his head and met Lavinia's light green eyes that were still heavy with sleep.
"Good morning." Matthew greeted softly.
"Mornin'" Lavinia yawned.
"What are your plans for today?" Matthew asked.
"I've got a fundraising meeting for the hospital to attend, and I have a nightshift tonight." Lavinia replied.
"Don't work too hard."
Lavinia smiled, crossing the room to the small kitchen that came off the open plan lounge/diner. Matthew could hear her pouring herself some cereal and minutes later she took the empty seat opposite him.
"So, now that you have met the family and life is back to our normal…what did you think?" Matthew asked.
"I liked them. Although, I was a little confused by Patrick's comment. What did he mean by 'keeping it in the family', it was odd." Lavinia said with a frown.
Matthew sighed, knowing that this would come up.
"He was trying to insinuate that I have an incest fetish because I grew up with them as 'cousins' but also he was trying to make you uncomfortable with Mary-"
"Because the two of you once had a relationship that went beyond family?"
Matthew nodded.
"Yes," Matthew confirmed, "I told you that I had a relationship with Mary."
Lavinia nodded before taking a mouthful of her cereal. He watched her swallow her food and meet his gaze again.
"You did. But how serious was it?" she questioned.
"Lavinia, we've done the dating history. I was with Mary for two years and it ended badly. And then I met you and I'm happy." Matthew answered hurriedly.
"I'm worry but Patrick really confused me. I guess I just want to know if you had closure."
"Mary and I agreed last night to have a fresh start to our friendship. She wished us the best of luck and happiness." Matthew stated.
Lavinia smiled and said nothing else on the matter. Matthew went about the flat gathering his coat and briefcase before kissing his fiancée goodbye and headed to work.
He went silently wishing that Patrick had never opened his bloody mouth.