AN: as always, thank you to my friend and beta Boo's Boys, she holds my hand and comforts me when I have mental breakdowns over god knows what - and she fixes my epic mistakes! Whats not to love!

"He did not say you're fat!" Alice is angry. It's a sight to behold; a four-foot-nothing, wisp of a girl in a complete rage. "If you don't do it, I will kill that asshole," she seethes.

It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not over reacting. "No, really, he did. God, Alice, what if…." I can't continue, the thought is too painful.

"What he did, was it really that bad, Bella? I mean I know we don't talk about him… but, I'm worried about you."

I sigh, and hide my face in my hands. I love Alice, she is the only woman I'm even remotely close with really, but Edward is a topic that I never, ever discuss with her. I don't need her knowing just how screwed up we are.

"It was pretty bad, Alice. And you know I don't think it's right to bag on your brother with you. I'd hate to say something that would mean you picked a side," I mutter.

"You're just both so damn miserable. Jake treats you like a common house maid and Edward, gah! Don't even get me started on him! You're as bad as each other, and it seems to me that there is an easy solution, Bella. You're just too pig headed to see it!"

Immediately my defences rise. Alice doesn't know the specifics, she doesn't know that three quarters of my heart is a dark and desolate wasteland; doesn't know that every spare second I had was devoted to her brother, and the few times he had been mine.

"Do you think I didn't try, Al? Is that it? Because if you missed the last ten years, let me remind you that I spent the whole time following him around like a lost puppy. I worshiped that man, and all I wanted was for him to stop dating those blonde skanks and give me a chance! I was the one that knew him inside and out; the one that actually had the same interests as him." By this point I am sobbing, the crack in my chest breaking wider and wider by the second.

"This is not how I pictured my life, Alice. It was supposed to be Edward, always! I never wanted anything more than I wanted your brother, let me assure you!"

"Then I don't get why you married Jake! Please, help me to understand this, Bella 'cos right now, I can't understand for the life of me, why two people who love each other so much can't be together."

"Ask him about Vanessa, Alice. I can't tell you. Not this, it's not my place."

She glowers at me for a few moments, and foolishly, really, I think she'll leave it at that. But, no, not Alice Cullen. She jumps up from her four-poster bed and takes off to the second floor of the house without so much as a word.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

I hadn't stopped for one moment and thought that he might be in the house. I have to get out of here, and pronto!

I'm three quarters of the way down the staircase when I realise that I have nowhere to go. I'd stormed out of my house earlier, and I really don't want to go back there with my tail between my legs. There's no way I'll be kissing Jacob's ass on this one.

I'm torn; Alice's really is the only place I can stay unless I go home.

Oh God! This is not good! I won't be strong enough to deal with a confrontation today.

I reach for the door handle, ready to turn it and flee to the relative safety of my car.

"Don't even think about it, Swan," a deep voice drifts from behind me.

Slowly I turn; surely my eyes are as wide as saucers!

I could kick myself for not realising he would be here! What the hell was I thinking?

"I," my mouth is gummy, suddenly filled with cotton, "I was just leaving, Edward."

"No, you weren't." A much smaller and more pissed off voice sounds from behind him.

"Oh crap," I mutter and trudge back up the stairs.