Well thank you all for the reviews so far, please stay with me as this is going to be long and sometimes hard and painful reading. I'm busy researching all that I can about Leukeamia, if there are any experts out there please drop me a PM as I am finding certain things difficult to understand. Here's the next update, please leave a review and let me know what you think, even if it's negative! :)
Chapter Three
Josh/Phil's POV
He couldn't take his eyes of the photograph that he held in his hands. He had a daughter, a ten year old daughter that he'd never seen or spoken to, how was he going to explain this to his father?
Ever since Shannon had left without saying goodbye he'd thought about her, he'd thought about how different his life could have been had she stayed with him in Seattle.
He'd known Shannon since Middle School when she'd moved from San Francisco after the death of her father. She was so quiet and shy but she was easily the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen in his life. For the first few weeks, she'd been picked on by jealous girls who weren't happy that a prettier, brighter girl had come to their school.
It was because of the bullying that she had suffered that he had first spoken to her. He was walking home from school one day, taking a short cut through the local park as he always did when he'd found her all alone, crying on a bench. He'd taken the opportunity to go and speak to her and from that moment, she'd stolen his young heart.
They became friends, really good friends. He protected her from the girls who had made her life hell and she thanked him by helping him to study, he needed all the fucking help he could get on that score.
It wasn't until they were both fifteen that their relationship changed, he still remembered the day they'd become boyfriend and girlfriend so fucking clearly.
It was Valentine's Day and he was due to go out on a date with another girl, he couldn't even remember her name now. Shannon was supposed to be going out with some dumbass when an hour before his date, she called him in tears to tell him that her date had cancelled on her because he'd found someone 'prettier' to go out with.
Josh cancelled his own date without a second thought, there was only one person that he wanted to be with and that person was Shannon. They didn't go out, Josh spent the night trying to comfort her as she tried to figure out just why no guy wanted to date her.
Hearing her talking about herself like she was some ugly freak had pushed him over the edge, he told her that night just how he felt about her and how he wanted to be with her. That night, they'd shared their first kiss and no other kiss before or since had ever compared.
He continued to look at the photograph in a stupor, suddenly he'd gone from being a young, single, childless guy to someone who had responsibilities. He'd always wanted children and now his wish had come true except his child was now ten years old. She didn't know him, he'd missed out on so fucking much all because Shannon had decided to run away.
He'd never see her first steps, hear her first words or be there for her first school play, he was never going to get those precious ten years back and he was so fucking angry at both Shannon and himself for that.
When she'd told him about the pregnancy he could have and should have handled things a lot better. He thought that she had wanted the termination, if she'd just told him that she wanted to keep the baby then things would have been so different. He would have stood by her, he would have looked after her because he loved her. Instead, she'd assumed that he didn't love her, that he didn't want her or the baby and that just wasn't true, it was never true.
'I thought you'd be back here,' his father's voice rumbled from behind him and he quickly hid the photograph of Caitlin under the table. 'What did she want?'
His father didn't try to hide his disdain for Shannon, he wouldn't even speak her name.
'Where do I fucking start?' Josh sighed, how the fuck was he going to explain this to his dad? He'd never known that Shannon had been pregnant, Josh had never felt the need to tell him.
'It's money she wants isn't it? You know what you can…'
'It's not money dad, it's more than that. So much fucking more,' Josh kept his eyes on his dad as he took a seat opposite him at the table.
'She sick or something?' Josh shook his head before he brought the photograph back out from under the table, he slid the image across to his dad who's eyes widened as soon as he looked at the picture of a smiling Caitlin.
'This can't be….this is some sort of fucking joke, it has to be!' Phil said in disbelief as he stared at the picture of his granddaughter open mouthed.
'It ain't a joke dad, look at her, she's the female version of me,' Josh smiled a little as his dad studied the picture.
'Did you know about her?' Josh shook his head again before he tried to explain things.
'I knew that she was pregnant but I thought she'd had an abortion. I took her to the clinic and she told me she'd gone through with it, she left town because she felt like she didn't have any other choice I guess,' Josh sighed.
'And she turns up here all of a fucking sudden after ten years? Where the fuck has she been? You had a right to know….'
'Getting angry about this isn't gonna fucking help me dad okay?' Josh snapped as he placed his head in his hands. 'Caitlin, that's her name, she has cancer dad and Shannon came here to ask for my help…'
'Whoa! Back the fuck up a minute here son! You have a daughter who's ten years old and now you're telling me she has cancer? What does she want, money for treatments or something? We can give her money but only if we can see…'
'Dad this isn't about fucking money! She wants me to go back to California with her tomorrow so I can get tested to see if I can be a bone marrow donor for Caitlin! She's dying dad, I have a little girl that I've never fucking met and she's dying,' his emotions spilled out before he could stop them. He'd been on the verge of tears ever since Shannon had handed him the photo of their little girl but now that he'd spoken about her, now that he thought about the possibility of losing her without ever getting the chance to be a part of her life, it was just too much.
Phil reached out across the table and placed his hand on top of his sons. He knew his son only too well and he knew that his tears weren't just for Caitlin, they were for Shannon too. Ever since she'd left Josh had changed, sure he'd dated other women, he'd even been engaged to someone for a year but the happiest he'd ever been was when he was with her. Now that she was back, he had no doubt that seeing her had stirred up old emotions that he'd try to bury over the years. As much as he disliked Shannon for what she had put his son through, he knew that there was only one thing that Josh could do.
'You know what you have to do don't you son?' Josh looked up at his father with tears still rolling down his cheeks.
'I need to go to California and help my daughter,' Phil shook his head and patted his son's hand before he got up out of his seat.
'And I'm coming with you, I'll be damned if I'm missing out on the chance to meet my only grandchild…'
'What about the boat?'
'I don't give a flying fuck about the boat, I'll ring Cornelia and sort something out with her. You'd better go find Shannon and let her know what's happening but I'm warning you Josh, that girl broke your heart once before and I am not gonna stand by and let her do it all over again. Do you understand me?'
Shannon's POV
'Hi sweetie, how are you feeling today?' Shannon tried as best as she could to sound upbeat when she spoke to her daughter. She needed to be positive and keep her spirits up even if she was a fair distance away.
'I miss you mommy, I had a bad dream today and no one was here to hug me,' Shannon's chest tightened as she heard the sadness so evident in her daughter's voice. She felt helpless, she wanted to take her pain away and swap places with her but there was nothing that she could do other than to hold her and comfort her and right now she couldn't even do that.
'Mommy's coming home tomorrow sweetheart, I promise. I'll even bring back a little present for my brave girl, anything you like,' Shannon did well to hide the fact that tears were pouring down her cheeks.
'I don't want a present, I just want you. I've gotta go, Grandma wants to talk to you and I'm sleepy. I love you mommy.'
'I love you too darling, so much. See you later alligator.'
'In a while crocodile!' Her daughter giggled a little before she handed the phone over to her mom.
'So you'll be home tomorrow then? Did you get to see the doctor?' Shannon closed her eyes and cursed herself silently for not telling her mother the truth.
Her mother had never been a fan of Josh from the moment she had met him. She was a God fearing woman and as much as Shannon loved her, their relationship was strained to say the least. After they'd both been tested for bone marrow compatibility and their results had come back to reveal that neither of them were a match, Shannon had mentioned to her mother about going to find Josh and she had lost it big time. She didn't want Josh to know anything about Caitlin, even if it meant her losing her life. If Caitlin did die, it was apparently 'God's Will'.
As far as she was concerned, God could go fuck himself because her baby was going NOWHERE. She knew damn well that her mother would lose it if Josh came back to California with her but she really didn't care. If he could save Caitlin then that's all that mattered to her. To prevent a huge argument or scene, she had told her mother that she was going to Connecticut to talk to another specialist about possible 'new treatments' for Caitlin to try. Of course it was a load of bullshit but her mother hadn't questioned her too much about it thank God.
'He wasn't all that great mom, I had like a ten minute meeting with him and he looked at Caitlin's notes but according to him, the doctors there are doing all that they can. I'm coming home on the first flight tomorrow,' she sighed, hoping that her mother wasn't going to keep her talking for too long.
She was so tired and she was desperate to get some much needed sleep.
'Well what a waste of money, I told you that there was no point in going there Shannon! This is all up to God now…'
Before her mother could utter another word she put the phone down on her. The last thing that she needed right now was to hear about God's fucking plan. If there was a God then he was pretty fucked up, what kind of God gives an innocent ten year old girl cancer? She'd given up any belief in God when her father had died when she was twelve years old. She was a daddy's girl and losing him had hit her hard, if she lost Caitlin, she really couldn't see how she could go on.
The bath water that she'd sat in for over an hour was now stone cold, it was time for her to get up and drag herself off to bed to try and get some rest before she met up with Josh tomorrow. She pulled herself out of the bath and quickly wrapped a warm towel around her water soaked body.
She dried herself off before pulling on a thick cotton dressing gown. She was towel drying her hair when she heard a knocking at her door. She hadn't ordered room service or rang down to reception to ask for anything and the only person that knew she was here was Josh…before she'd finished drying her hair she ran to the door to answer it as she realised that it must be Josh calling in on her early to tell her his decision.
As soon as she opened the door she was greeted by two dark brown eyes, the eyes that had made her melt so many times.
'Sorry if I interrupted you, do you want me to wait…'
'No it's fine! Come in,' Shannon opened the door all the way and stood back to allow Josh into the room.
'I've made a decision, I thought I'd come and tell you now rather than waiting until tomorrow,' he sighed and Shannon's heart began to race. 'If I can help then I will Shannon, I might not know her but she's my daughter and I want to get to know her, so does my father.'
'He's coming too?' Shannon asked and Josh nodded.
'There's no way in hell you're keeping him away you know what he's like, he's even more stubborn than I am,' Josh smiled a little as he let his eyes lock with hers.
'Thank you for doing this Joshua, you don't know how much this means to me, how much it could mean to Caitlin,' Shannon smiled back at him.
'She's my daughter Shannon, I might not know her but do you really think that I'd let her suffer? That I'd let her die? If I can help her I will, even if I can't I'm gonna stick around and be there for her, I want to be a part of her life Shannon.'
'You will be part of her life Josh, I'm not gonna stop you from being her dad, I should have told you a long time ago, I know I should have but I can't turn back the clock, believe me I wish I could,' she sighed, she had to tear her eyes away from his, looking into them just started to bring back old memories that she had tried so hard to forget.
'Both of us made mistakes, the important thing is that we're both united for her, I've got a lot of time to make up for and I'm gonna be at that hospital every fucking day, that's if she likes me,' he sighed.
'She'll like you, she likes everybody. She'll talk you to death, even though she's sick she hasn't lost the ability to speak,' she smiled thinking about how excited Caitlin would be when she met Josh. Over the past year or so she'd been asking a lot of questions about her father. She had answered most of them but she'd never told Caitlin who he was.
'I guess I'd better be going, I've gotta pack and get my shit together before we leave, do you want me to come and pick you up or shall we meet at the airport?'
'We can meet at the airport, the first flight is supposed to leave at ten so if we meet there at eight that should give us enough time to check in and get something to eat, thank you so much Josh, thank you,' Shannon smiled at him.
He didn't say anything else but he continued to look at her for a few seconds before he left. As soon as he'd closed the door behind him, she fell back onto the bed and burst into tears with a mixture of delight and relief. She'd been so scared that he would tell her to fuck off, he seemed to be having the time of his life since becoming a TV star and now he would have to give up his party lifestyle, at least for the time being anyway.
She just hoped that he would be a match for Caitlin, if he wasn't then there was a real possibility that he wouldn't have a lot of time left to get to know her. She tried not to think negatively as she crawled into the double bed and wrapped the covers tight around her body. When she closed her eyes there was only one person that came to mind and it surprised her. She fell to sleep thinking about Joshua Harris.