Thanks so much for all the reviews so far! There's a tiny bit of smut in this update, not too much but if you don't like penises then I suggest you don't read! Please keep the reviews coming in as they inspire me! Thanks guys, enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Chapter Six

Josh tossed and turned in bed as he tried but failed to drift off to sleep. He had far too much on his mind and there was no way that he would be getting any rest tonight.

Instead of fighting a losing battle, he decided to get up and head downstairs where the hotel bar was still open, maybe having a drink or six would help him. Alcohol had helped him out in the past and he was hoping that it would help him out again. He quietly got dressed, he was anxious not to disturb his father who was asleep in the room next door, he could hear his fucking snores bellowing out through the thin wall.

As soon as he'd put some clothes on, he crept out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. If his father heard him sneaking out then he'd be in deep shit. He knew that the sensible thing to do would be to stay in his room and watch some shitty TV until the time came for him to visit Caitlin but he was sure that having a few drinks wouldn't harm anybody, he'd be fully recovered by morning and nobody would ever know where he'd been.

Shannon sat on the couch in her mom's house anxiously waiting for her to return home from her Church Fundraiser. She had no choice but to tell her the truth about where she'd really been, there was no way that she could keep her mom and Josh apart, it would be virtually impossible.

She knew that her mother would be pretty pissed but she was hoping that she would understand why she had done what she had. She only had Caitlin's best interests in mind, she hadn't gone to Alaska to fuck him and to rekindle their relationship, she had gone there to try and save her daughter's life and even though old feelings were being stirred up inside her, her only concern was Caitlin. Her mother might not like Josh one bit but it was tough, he could possibly save Caitlin's life and she had done what she had to do as far as she was concerned.

She sat on the couch in silence for over an hour waiting for her mother to return. It was gone twelve when she heard the rattle of a key in the door and she braced herself for what was about to come, it probably wasn't going to be all that pretty.

'I didn't think you'd still be up but I'm glad you are, I have some VERY exciting news for you honey…' she had to interrupt her mother before she started gossiping about somebody or something, she hadn't even taken her coat off yet and she was already starting with her rumours.

'Mom I think you'd better sit down, I have something to tell you,' Shannon said loudly so her mother would hear her.

Her mother stared at her coldly for a few seconds before she took her coat off and threw it over the nearest chair.

'You're pregnant again aren't you? I KNEW it, you've been getting fat…'

'MOM! I am NOT fucking pregnant! I haven't fuc… slept with anyone since Josh okay?' She was used to her mother making disparaging remarks about her appearance so getting called 'fat' was nothing new to her. In fact, she was MORE pissed off that she hadn't even asked how Caitlin was as soon as she'd walked in through the fucking door.

'Well praise the Lord! I've been praying every night….'

'Josh is here mom, so is his dad,' she interrupted her mother once again to not so subtly break the news to her about Josh's arrival.

She watched as her mother clutched her chest dramatically before she fell into her chair, gasping for breath. She was used to scenes like this, when she'd told her that she was pregnant she had 'fainted' for ten minutes then she'd insisted that she was having a fucking heart attack. Her mother was nothing if not a tad dramatic about things.

'I knew that something was wrong, I can FEEL that wicked, wicked man's presence around here already!'

'Mom, calm down…'

'I will NOT CALM DOWN! He took your honour and left you pregnant!'

'First of all mom, he didn't take anything, I gave it to him, more than once actually…'

'Oh dear Lord..'

'Secondly, he's HERE to try and save his daughter's life, your granddaughter's life so he isn't that fucking wicked is he?' Shannon snapped, no matter what her mother said she'd never be able to convince her that Josh was 'The Devil'.

'He is NOT coming anywhere near my granddaughter! We don't need him! This is out of our hands now Shannon, we have to put our faith in the Lord….'

'Mom STOP! I am NOT putting my faith in anyone that I can't fucking see or talk to okay? I am going to fight for my little girl and I am NEVER giving up, Josh is here and he's going to meet Caitlin tomorrow, I don't care what you think about it, he's her father and he wants to be in her life so you'll just have to deal with it,' before her mother could respond, Shannon left the room.

She felt bad for speaking to her mother like that but she was more than a little frustrated with her. Why couldn't she see that she was just trying to help her little girl?

'Hey, put another shot of Jack in there please,' Josh hollered at the bartender who immediately came over and poured another shot into his glass. Josh handed over a wrinkled up note and told him to keep the change before he went over to a table in the corner of the bar.

This was his seventh shot of Jack already and he'd been in here for less than an hour. He felt a little light headed but he wasn't too drunk, he was used to drinking a lot more than this after all.

'Um, excuse me, you ARE Josh Harris aren't you?' Josh looked up to see two giant bowling ball sized breasts staring back at him.

He quickly let his eyes leave her breasts to focus on her face which actually wasn't too bad, she was kinda pretty, not the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen but she wasn't the ugliest either.

'Yeah I am, who wants to know?' Josh replied casually, was it really a good idea for him to be flirting with some fan of the show right now?

'I KNEW it was you! Can I join you?' The woman asked and Josh nodded, having a drink with someone wasn't a crime after all.

'You know, you're my favourite on the show! I think you're like, REALLY hot!'

Josh had heard this kind of shit before, ever since he'd appeared on the show girls had flocked to him. He'd been with hundreds, maybe even thousands but he was never satisfied.

'You know, I have a couple of bottles of wine in my room, wanna join me?'

He didn't even know her name but did it really matter? Once he'd fucked her he wouldn't want anything more to do with her anyway so a name wasn't important. If drinking wouldn't get the image of his sick daughter out of his head then maybe fucking someone would.

'Yeah, let's go.'

Shannon curled up in her bed, hugging her soft pillow as she closed her eyes to try and get some much needed sleep. She was worried about tomorrow, it was going to be a big day for Caitlin. Over the past year she had asked about her father a lot and now she was finally going to meet him. She hoped that they would get along and she hoped to God that her mother would stay away and not interfere between them. It was important that Caitlin got to know her father because, as much as she didn't want to think it, she might not have long left.

Even though her limbs were aching and her body was so tired after the trip to Alaska, she couldn't get to sleep, she had too many things on her mind. She wasn't going to get up out of bed, it was too cold to be wandering around the house in her nightie, so she decided to just stay where she was.

The same thoughts entered her head every night, what was she going to do if Caitlin didn't make it? Her little girl meant the world to her and she couldn't even imagine how empty and hollow her life would be without her. How would she ever be able to get over losing her daughter?

If Josh wasn't a match, there was a real chance that Caitlin would only be alive for another few months. Caitlin was a smart girl and she knew how serious her condition was, if Josh wasn't a match then she would have to tell her little girl how long she had left to live, what parent wanted to go through that?

Even having Josh back in her life didn't offer any sort of comfort right now, her first love was Caitlin and that would never change. From the moment she'd felt her move inside her, she knew that she would do anything for her, anything at all. She just felt helpless because she couldn't take her pain away and she could do nothing to make her better.

For the past ten years her life had revolved around her daughter. Before falling pregnant, she'd always wanted to be a heart surgeon. She'd always been top of every class in High School and Junior High, before the pregnancy it was almost certain that she was heading to college but then, everything changed, she changed.

As soon as she held Caitlin in her arms, nothing else mattered. She wanted to be there for her daughter, she wanted to take care of her and be the mother that she'd always wanted her mom to be. Instead of going back to High School, she had got herself a part-time job as a receptionist at a local dental surgery. The pay wasn't great and her mother hadn't been happy but the job served a purpose, it gave her enough money to rent a little apartment and she was able to move away from her domineering mother.

As Caitlin got older and started pre-school, she was able to work more hours. When Caitlin started Elementary School she began to work full time, she'd been very happy but when Caitlin was diagnosed with cancer, she wanted to be with her daughter every step of the way. She'd asked her mother if she could move back in with her, it wasn't ideal but it was the only option she had. Her mother wasn't short of money, after her father died in a car accident a life insurance policy had paid out a couple of million dollars and her mother's parents had left her with a healthy inheritance after they'd passed away.

Her mother agreed to take both her and Caitlin in, she seemed more than happy to have them back. Since they'd moved back in, her mother had been talking about how it was time for her to get married, she'd been dropping hints about the new Pastor in the church being a similar age to her and how he was a wonderful man…it was obvious that her mom wanted to try and set her up but she wasn't interested, dating was the last thing on her mind right now.

Her only concern was Caitlin and finding a man could wait. In fact, the chances of her every marrying and settling down were slim. Since Josh, she hadn't dated or had sex with anyone, she just wasn't interested in putting herself back out on the dating scene. Ever since she'd started to date Josh, she'd always thought that they would be together forever and the pain of leaving him was still with her. She'd given him his heart and he still had a great part of it and now that he was back, she was sure that she would never reclaim it.

She wasn't over him and she wasn't ready to move on, seeing him had proved that once and for all. She was sure that he didn't feel the same way, he'd fucked enough women to get her out of his system a long time ago. He was here for Caitlin and Caitlin alone, any chance of rekindling their romance was long gone and she'd have to get over it.

'You wanna fuck me?'

The girl, her name was Stephanie, groaned between kisses as Josh shut her hotel door with his foot. They'd started kissing in the elevator, as soon as the doors had closed she'd launched herself at him and he wasn't going to say no.

Without giving her an answer he began to unbuckle his jeans, he watched as she licked her lips and got down on her knees. As soon as he released his cock she was all over it, her hands and lips caressed him as he let his head rest against the door.

He closed his eyes and tried as hard as he could to enjoy the moment but thoughts of Caitlin and Shannon kept fucking spinning around in his head. The image of his daughter lying in her hospital bed surrounded by machines and covered in tubes haunted him, he was meeting her tomorrow for the first fucking time and yet here he was getting his dick sucked by some stranger, what the fuck was he doing?

Josh pulled her head away from his cock and grabbed the waistband of his jeans, pulling them up and hastily doing everything back up as Stephanie looked at him confused.

'Did I do something wrong?' She asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

'No, I just can't do this, I'm sorry.'

Before she could complain or ask why he couldn't do it, Josh left the room and walked away as quickly as he could. He'd been so fucking stupid, he should have stayed in his bed but no, he just HAD to have a fucking drink.

If Shannon knew about this she wouldn't let him anywhere near their daughter, what kind of father was he gonna be anyway? Probably a huge fuck up, a disaster, how could he teach his daughter morals when he didn't fucking have any himself?

If it wasn't for the fact that he could save her life, he wanted to run and never come back. He could never be the father that she probably wanted him to be and he could never be the man that Shannon wanted him to be. He was a car crash and it was no fucking surprise that Shannon had run from him as soon as she got the chance.

He knew what he had to do, he would have the test but he wasn't going anywhere near Caitlin. It was better that she never knew him.