CHAPTER 8:
Sitting in a square, plush chair in the confines of his white colored psychiatric room at Mayfield, House, in a moment of quiet reflection, was looking out the window into a clear sky, longing to be a part of the outside world again. Yet, he knew it was too soon for that. His missed the challenges of the puzzles, the freedom to jump on his motorcycle and ride wherever he wanted and he mostly missed the conversations with those close to him. Boredom at the hospital was taking its toll, so he kept busy by immersing himself in medical books and journals to keep his mind sharp. When he wasn't reading, he was silently diagnosing new patients brought into the institution. It was the only way he could keep his sanity which is pretty oxymoronic considering why he was in there in the first place. Interrupting his thought process was a knock on his open door.
A female orderly stood there with a friendly smile and said, "There's someone here to see you, Dr. House."
House looked over to the doorway and sliding into its frame was Cuddy, revealing her presence to him.
She smiled at him and said, "Hey."
He smiled back at her and said, "Hey yourself. So, what brings you to the loony bin? Conjugal visit?"
"I came to see if they had you in restraints yet." She jokes.
"Wouldn't you like that?" He comments.
The nurse smiles at the conversation and exits.
Cuddy walks towards him and he limps over meeting her halfway. Cuddy lifts herself up to meet his height and they embrace.
While they are embracing, House slides his hands to her ass and comments, "Good to know your ass is still as big."
She smiles and comments, "Good to know you're still as big an ass." He laughs at her remark.
Cuddy drops back to her feet, and while rubbing the sides of his arms says to him, "It's good to see you, House."
He smiles at her and says, "Good to see you in person and not in a fantasy."
House limps over to the bed and takes a seat on the left side which faces the window. Cuddy sits next to him on his right.
Noticing her low-cut top House remarks, "Glad to see you brought the girls with you."
"They missed you too. If you're good I might let you touch one later." She quips.
"Don't tease me. My shrink says it's not good for my psyche." He counters brat-like. She laughs at him.
He tells her, "By the way, my shrink reminds me of you….annoying, bitchy, a pain in my ass."
"Good to know the comforts of home haven't left you." She comments.
He smiles and says playfully, "God I missed you, woman."
She looks down and smiles for a minute. There's silence for a minute.
Taking a more serious tone, Cuddy asks him, "How are you doing?"
He sarcastically says, "I'm sexually repressed. Care to jump in the shower with me to relieve that tension?"
She gives him a look of seriousness. He can tell the tone has changed now.
Shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head a bit he answers her, "Crappy. It sucks being here away from the action….away from life. Leg feels okay but there are still days I want to crawl into a hole and die. Hallucinations are still there but they're getting less, and I'm still craving my Vicodin. Upside is…there are some smoking hot nurses here. Don't get jealous though. They aren't as bodacious as you ."
Cuddy looks down at the floor and taking a deep breath she says softly, "You shouldn't be here. I should have listened to you that night."
House, sensing her guilt, rolls his eyes and says, "Don't do this, Cuddy."
Sniffing a bit, while still looking down at the floor, she says, "This is all my fault. I should have been there for you. I shouldn't have walked out on you."
"It's not your fault. I was being an ass that night. You had every reason to walk out on me. I would have walked out on me." He says trying to ease her guilt.
She looks up at him, tears welling in her eyes but not falling, and says to him, "I'm so sorry, House."
"There's nothing to be sorry about. If you don't stop feeling guilty about what happened, you're going to end up like me…well….minus the drug addiction." He says trying to lighten the mood.
"I just want you to forgive me." She says sorrowfully.
"If it'll make you feel better then….I forgive you….but only if you'll forgive me." He says to her.
"For what?" She wonders.
"I guess you forgot about me announcing to the whole hospital that I slept with you. I can re-enact it if you want to jog your memory." He says jokingly.
"House, you didn't know what you were doing." She says softly to him.
"Actually, I did." He tells her.
Confused she asks, "What do mean by that?"
Getting serious now, House takes a minute, swallows hard and trying to put the words together confesses, "That day….in my delusion….I really believed that you had spent the night with me helping me detox. Having you there in that delusion made me feel….worthy…less alone."
Cuddy's eyes started to well a bit more over House's vulnerability at that moment, but for his sake she continued to hold back. She takes her left hand and gently begins to rub his back.
House continues, "I felt like you were there not protecting hospital property, but for me." He pauses a minute, then continues, "It made me feel like I mattered to you…to someone for once in my life. That's why I didn't want to let you down. The next morning, I imagined that you kissed me goodbye. Then, I imagined that we had one hot make out session and ridiculously incredible sex."
With a soft sigh and tears beginning to stream down her face she says, "Oh God, House."
He laughs at the thought, looks down at the floor and remarks, "Really delusional, huh?"
Rubbing his back she tells him, "It's not that delusional."
He looks up at her.
She confesses to him, "I've never thought of you as hospital property. Why do you think I worry about you so much? Why do think I stayed with you that night when you came out of that coma? Why do think I held your hand? Why do think I'm here now?" She strokes the right side of his face and says, "You're a lot of things House. And it's those things that make you who you are that I would miss if they were gone. I just wish you could trust me as much as you do Wilson. I do want a more personal relationship with you, so you wouldn't feel like you were just hospital property to me."
Looking at her he says, "I've always felt I had a personal relationship with you. Why do think you were the one in my delusion? I certainly wouldn't want to have sex with Wilson." He pauses for a minute. Then he continues. "You've always been there and, in my messed up mind, you always will be….cheerleader uniform and all."
She laughs and wipes the tear from her eye.
He says to her, "Maybe when I bust out of here, I can take you to dinner….thank you for putting up with this lunatic ass."
She smiles and says, "I'd like that." Then pointing to him she says, "But you aren't charging the hospital for it."
This time he laughs. She was always good at getting him back, he thought to himself. That's one of the things he loved about her. They look at each other for a moment. Cuddy leans in and gives him a soft kiss on the lips, much like she did in House's delusion. But, wanting to make this part real, he leans in to kiss her and she opens her mouth to welcome him. She places her right hand to the side of his face, as the kiss deepens. He has his left arm around her. Cuddy then removes her right hand from his face, reaches around behind her with that hand, takes his left hand and places it on her right breast while still kissing him passionately. The unexpected move by Cuddy makes House smile as he kisses her. After several minutes, they slowly break from their lip-lock.
Gazing into her eyes, House says to her, "Hold that thought for when I get out of here."
She laughs then says, "I almost forgot. I brought you a present." She reaches into her purse, pulls out a red lollipop and hands it to him.
He looks at it smiling. He then looks back at her saying, "When I lick it, I'll think of you."
She smiles and says, "I'm sure you will." She holds his face in her hands, stroking it. Then says, "Take care of yourself, House." He looks at her and nods. She kisses his right cheek.
She gets up to leave and just as she's ready to open the door, House calls to her, "Cuddy."
She turns around and he says to her with soft sincerity, "Thank you for coming."
"I'll see you again soon. In the meantime, try not to be a big pain in the ass to the people around here." She tells him.
"Don't worry. I'll save the special insults for you." He jokes.
Smiling she says, "Goodbye, House."
Smiling back he softly says, "Bye, Cuddy."
She leaves and House sits there twirling the lollipop in his hand. He takes off the wrapper, puts it in his mouth and slowly pulls it out with a motion and look on his face that tell you he's thinking about her.