Thanks for all the reviews as always, shorter update this time for the weekend. Please keep reviewing, more reviews would make me ecstatic! :)

Chapter Fifteen

Shannon could feel her eyes beginning to close, she'd been awake for so many days that her body was ready to shut down on her once and for all. She was about to let her head rest on the bed when the door to Caitlin's room opened, she sat up straight in her chair and looked right at Phil who walked into the room.

She immediately felt sick to her stomach, had something gone wrong? Was Josh okay? She got up from her chair and walked over to him, he was glaring at her again but that was nothing new.

'Is Josh out of surgery? Is he okay?'

Phil nodded before he spoke.

'He wants to see you,' he growled, he was evidently pretty pissed at the fact that Josh had asked for her.

'Grandpa!'

Phil's face softened as soon as he heard Caitlin speak, he walked over to her bed and planted a kiss on her forehead before taking a seat alongside her.

'I'm gonna go and see your daddy sweetheart, I won't be long,' Shannon smiled at her daughter before walking out of the room.

Phil shot Shannon another glare before she disappeared, he didn't feel comfortable about her being all alone with Josh but he couldn't leave Caitlin alone.

'Can I ask you something?' Caitlin said and Phil nodded.

'Sure, ask me anything.'

'Why are you so horrible to mommy?'

Phil felt like a fucking piece of shit at that moment, especially when he looked at Caitlin, he could see how sad she was, what was he meant to say?

'Grandma's horrible to her too and it's not fair, she hasn't done anything wrong,' Caitlin announced after a few moments of silence.

'I don't mean to be so horrible to her it's just that, well, your dad is my son and when your mom left, it broke his heart. I don't want her to break his heart again….'

'She won't! And you should back off, what mom and dad decide to do is their decision, not yours,' Phil couldn't help but smile at his granddaughter, how could an eleven year old be so fucking wise?

'I promise I'll be nicer to your mom.'

'Can you ask grandma to be nicer to her?'

'Uh, your grandma and I don't exactly get on honey, in all honesty she's a bi…bit of a fool,' Phil corrected himself at the last minute as Caitlin smirked at him.

'You were gonna say bitch weren't you?' She whispered and giggled as Phil nodded.

'Now, how about I tell you a little story about crabs and how I find them using their fart bubbles,' Phil was eager to change the subject onto something a little more light hearted, Caitlin didn't need to be worrying about things right now, she needed some light relief.

'Crabs fart?' Caitlin sat up a little in bed and looked at Phil wide eyed, he had her hook, line and sinker.

'Yep and let me tell you something, your Grandad Phil can smell them even when they're hundreds of miles away!'

'How?'

Phil rolled off into a story which had Caitlin laughing and smiling, he forgot all about his issues with Shannon and for the first time since he'd got here, he realised that he'd spent so much time worrying about Josh and Shannon that he'd forgotten the reason that he was here, he was here for Caitlin.

Shannon quietly opened the door to Josh's room and crept inside, she glanced over at the bed and could see that he was fast asleep. She could have just left right away but she chose to stay, he'd asked for her and she wanted to be here for him, it was the least she could do after what he'd done for their daughter.

She took a seat alongside his bed and reached out to take his hand in hers. She couldn't seem to stop herself from touching him, ever since she'd left Seattle she had thought about him, a few times she'd thought about going back, especially during her pregnancy when her mother insisted on keeping her locked inside the house so no one could see her. She'd been so scared back then, she'd felt so alone and unloved, her mother was ashamed of her and she had no one else. Now that he was back, all of the old feelings that she had tried so hard to bury had been dug up again. Josh had been her rock, he'd been the first and only person that she'd ever opened up to about her life, about how her father's death had affected her so badly and what her mom was like behind the good Christian façade that she put on for everyone.

She'd convinced herself over the years that her love for him was dead, that she had got over him but that wasn't true, she still needed him, she still wanted him but how could they ever be what they were before? They'd been apart for so long, so many things had happened, neither of them really knew each other anymore and it was all her fault. The guilt that she felt for leaving him was eating away at her, it had been ever since she'd left with her mother, she'd never be able to give him back the years he'd missed with Caitlin, how could he ever forgive her for what she'd done when she couldn't forgive herself?

She fought back the tears as she held his hand tighter, she relished the contact, if only he knew just how much she had missed him, how she'd never been able to date another man because he was the only one she wanted. She would never want anyone else but she'd ruined everything.

Josh stirred in his sleep as he felt someone gripping his hand quite tightly, at first he guessed it was his father but then he realised that the skin was too soft for it to be his dad. He forced himself to open his eyes and as soon as he saw her he smiled, his dad had listened to him for once and he'd gone to get her.

'Hey,' he croaked out as she smiled back at him.

'Hey, how are you feeling?'

'Groggy and my mouth is like fucking sandpaper,' he moaned as he watched Shannon get up to grab the jug of water which was sat on the table at the end of his bed. She poured some water into a paper cup and held it up to his mouth allowing him to take a few sips before he signalled he'd had enough.

'Phil told me that you wanted to see me, I thought that something might be wrong, he had me worried for a second,' Shannon said as she put the water and cup back down on the table before she sat back down again.

'I guess having the surgery has made me think about a lot of things,' Josh pushed himself up a little, wincing at the slight stab of pain that passed through him. 'I want to stay here, I want to be around for Caitlin all the time, I don't wanna be the kind of dad that just see's their kid on the weekend, I need to be here for her.'

'Josh, you can see her whenever you want, you know that,' Shannon said, she wondered where this was going.

'I'm sick of living out of a suitcase Shannon so I've made a decision, I'm moving here permanently. I can't go back to Seattle, my place is here, with you and Caitlin, I guess I just wanted your approval before I put my place up for sale,' he explained.

'I want you to stay Josh and I know for a fact that Caitlin wants you here, this will make her so happy!' Shannon smiled.

'And does it make YOU happy?'

'Yes, it makes me very happy,' Shannon smiled before she reached out and ran her fingers over his cheek, she couldn't stop herself from doing it.

'We'll get her through this and once we have, we can spend time getting to know each other again, catching up on all the stuff we've missed over the years. I just want you to know that I've missed you Shannon, I've missed you so fucking much,' Josh let some of his emotions spill out, the drugs seemed to make it easier to be truthful.

'There's so much that you don't know about me Josh, stuff that is so hard for me talk about….I'm not the person that I was Josh, I've changed so much, I wanna go back to who I was back then, I wanna go back and be the girl you fell in love with but I can't be her…' Shannon felt the tears again and she felt like a fool, why was she telling him this? He didn't need to get dumped with her shit especially not after having surgery, Jesus she was majorly fucked up.

'Ssshhh don't cry, please don't cry I hate seeing you cry. Has someone hurt you? If anyone has hurt you I swear to fucking God…'

'This isn't the time Josh, our priority right now is Caitlin and only Caitlin. Once she's better, I'll tell you everything, I promise,' Shannon assured him, it would hurt her to go back to the events in the past but she felt like he had a right to know, she wanted him to know for some reason.

'Now that I'm here you're safe Shannon, I won't let anyone hurt you or Caitlin. I've been waiting for ten years to get you back and I'm not letting you go, either of you go, ever again,' Shannon felt Josh grip her hand and she cried like a baby.

There was so much that she needed to say but she couldn't find the words. Right now she just wanted to be close to him. She wanted to pretend that things would work out, that she would have the happy ending that she always wanted but that ending was just too far out of her reach. Her baby girl was still sick and she had to face the possibility that in a few months she might not be here anymore. Her fight had only just begun, the road was going to be a long and dark one at times but for now, at least she had Josh to light some of the way.