Thanks as always for the lovely reviews, I must say that this chapter is very intense and emotional and not an easy read by any means. I have researched childhood leukemia a lot as I've wanted to get everything right, if I have made any mistakes I apologise. Please keep the reviews coming in, I won't say enjoy as it isn't the kind of chapter you will enjoy but please review nevertheless, thanks as always :)

Chapter Sixteen

Two days had passed by since Josh had undergone surgery for the Bone Marrow Transplant and he was feeling fine, he had a little pain every now and then but it didn't matter, what mattered now was Caitlin. She had been receiving his Bone Marrow intravenously since he'd donated it and things weren't going well.

It had been explained before the procedure that there was a risk that Caitlin would be more susceptible to infections during this period, right now all her bone marrow cells were dead and until the new ones grew, she was in danger.

Visiting hours had now been restricted because of how weak she was, they only had a couple of hours a day to see her. That didn't stop them from sitting outside her room and watching her, both Shannon and Josh had been there ever since the transplant had started and neither of them wanted to leave. Their baby was fighting for her life and they were here to fight with her, they wanted her to know that they were there for her every step of the way.

Shannon lay back in her chair and tried to get comfortable, it was just past one in the morning and it was going to be another long, sleepless night. She didn't want to close her eyes just in case something happened, she was afraid that if she succumbed to sleep that when she woke up, her baby would be gone.

Caitlin was her life, her pride and joy. Before she'd fallen pregnant her dream had been to become a doctor, as soon as she first felt her little girl move inside her that dream changed. She wanted to be a good mother, a fantastic mother, she wanted to be the mother that she had craved for her whole life and seeing her daughter so sick and so frail just brought it home that she had failed. She hadn't protected her, she hadn't kept her safe and that was what a mother was supposed to do.

Her guilt, her failures as a mother and as a person were becoming overwhelming but she had to be strong and pretend that she was okay. She was so used to pretending that things were fine that it wasn't even difficult to put on an act, Josh had been trying to get closer to her, to talk to her and get her to open up but she couldn't. As far as she was concerned he would be much better off without her, she would only fuck up his life all over again and hurt him because that's what she did, she hurt people.

'Shannon, why don't you try to get some sleep baby? I'll wake you up if anything happens,' Josh watched as Shannon desperately fought against her tiredness, she looked completely worn out and she needed to sleep, he was worried about her.

She shook her head and refused to look at him, since he'd spilled some of his heart out to her after his operation she seemed to be pulling away from him. He couldn't understand what he'd done wrong, he only wanted to take care of her and love her, why was that such a bad thing?

'You're running on empty Shannon and if you don't try and rest pretty soon they'll be making a bed up for you in this place. You're worn out Shannon, please, listen to me, I'm worried about you…'

'Well you shouldn't be worried about me Josh okay? The only person that you should worry about is Caitlin, she's the one fighting for her life in there not me! Stop trying to take care of me Josh, I don't need someone keeping an eye on me or smothering me so just back off!'

Shannon got up from her seat and moved over to the window looking into Caitlin's room. She had to pull away from him before he fell for her again, he couldn't fall for her again. Phil had been right from the very beginning, she was poison and she was not going to ruin his life again.

Josh remained in his seat and just stared at the woman that he loved with all his heart. She wasn't the same carefree teenager anymore, she had changed so much. She had no confidence, no spark, it was like she'd been beaten down so much that she'd lost the will to go on and it scared him. He wanted to know what had happened to her over the past ten years, what had gone on in her life to make her like this because there had to be a reason for her behaviour. She was trying so fucking hard to push him away but he wasn't going to go anywhere, he loved her, he had always loved her and he was going to make sure that both of his girls were okay, he was never leaving them, they were stuck with him.

He was about to get up and go over to her when a loud beeping sound coming from Caitlin's room made Shannon spin around and start screaming.

'DOCTOR! SOMEONE! HELP!'

Josh bolted out of his seat and grabbed Shannon's waist, stopping her from going into the room.

'LET GO OF ME! SOMETHING'S WRONG!' She wailed as Josh continued to hold her as he looked into the room to see his little girl fitting on the bed.

Doctors and nurses rushed past them and entered her room, they watched as they began to work on their little girl and Shannon continued to try and pull herself out of Josh's grip.

'Please Josh, please, she needs me!'

'We can't baby, we need to let them do their job, we'll get in the way, she knows we're here,' Josh closed his eyes and began to pray as hard as he could for his little girl, if God wanted to take someone then he wanted it to be him, not her. Not his baby.

'Caitlin, Caitlin please baby, please don't leave me, don't leave me baby. I love you so much, you have to fight, please keep fighting, please don't take her away, please,' Josh held Shannon as she started to wail, Josh couldn't hold himself together either, they knew that the procedure had many risks but both of them had believed that it would save her life, not make her worse and possibly kill her.

Shannon pressed her face up against the glass and watched as medics worked on her daughter, Josh stood behind her and watched the scene too until one of the nurses came over to the window and shut the blinds, this made Shannon cry out again, she wanted to see what they were doing to her daughter now Caitlin was all alone.

'She'll be fine, she's a fighter Shannon, she'll get through this, she can get through anything,' Josh kept repeating over and over again, he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Shannon. He couldn't give up hope, he couldn't accept the fact that his daughter could be dead, he didn't want to bury his little girl.

Shannon turned away from the window and wrapped her arms around Josh, she needed him right now, he was the only one that could understand the pain she was in. Memories of Caitlin's life flashed through her mind, the moment she'd first held her little body in her arms, hearing her say 'Mommy' for the first time, her first steps, her first day at school, her first soccer game. There were so many things that she had to look forward to, she wanted to see her graduate High School, go to her Prom, have her first boyfriend or girlfriend, if she died then there would be nothing left for her to look forward to. Caitlin was her life, her world, her heart and soul, she wouldn't be able to exist without her, what would be the point?

Josh held onto her as he cried his own tears, maybe this was his punishment for wanting Shannon to have an abortion in the first place, if she'd listened to him Caitlin wouldn't even exist now, maybe the cancer was his fault, karma coming to bite him on the ass for even suggesting that Shannon should kill their baby. He hadn't even wanted Shannon to get rid of her, not really. He'd only suggested an abortion because he wanted Shannon to achieve her goals, he wanted her to go to college and become a doctor, he wanted her to BE somebody, if he'd only known back then that she wanted the baby as much as he did then he never would have mentioned a termination. He'd wasted so many years drinking and fucking around, he'd missed out on his girl's lives and now there was a possibility that he was about to lose the daughter that he loved so much but barely knew.

They were both drowning in their grief, holding onto each other for support to keep their head above the water when the door to Caitlin's room opened and out stepped her primary doctor Clare. They pulled apart but held onto each other's hands as they looked to her in hope.

'I'm afraid Caitlin has a slight infection, her temperature has shot up which is what caused the fit that you saw. We're starting her on a high dose of antibiotics and we're waiting on some blood, we need to give her a transfusion to try and flush out the infection before it does any major damage,' Clare said as Shannon wiped her tears away.

'What are her chances?'

'The next forty eight hours are critical, we're going to move her to Intensive Care right away, I think you need to stay with her, she might not make it through the night, I'm so sorry,' Shannon felt her legs give way and she collapsed to the ground before Josh could grab hold of her.

'Not my baby, not my baby, oh God, oh please, please don't take her away, don't take her away,' Josh picked a shaking Shannon back up and placed his hands on her face.

'We need to be strong for her Shannon, she's a fighter and she won't give up, we can't give up either. She can make it through this I know she can make it through this, she's not going anywhere, she's not,' Josh stated and Shannon looked into his eyes, trying to draw strength from him as she had none of her own left to give.

'Don't you give up on her because I'm not, the love we have for her can get her through this, I know it can. Fight Shannon, you have to fight now,' Shannon wiped the tears off her cheeks again and nodded, a few weeks ago it had been her giving the same pep talk.

She held onto his hand as tight as she could and watched as Caitlin was wheeled out of her room. They followed along behind her bed as she was taken one floor up to the Intensive Care unit, she was placed in another private room and they sat watching her, keeping guard over her and silently praying every moment to try and give her strength. Their little girl had to fight and they were going to try and fight with her.