Thanks so much for the positive reviews on the last chapter, I was a bit worried about how you might take it because it was very emotional and a difficult thing for me to write but I thought it was important to include that part of their past in the story to give you all a better understanding on the events that shaped Shannon and Josh's separation. Anyway, enough of me wittering on! Another long chapter ahead, apologies, once I get writing I can't seem to stop! Please keep the reviews coming in as they really inspire me, thanks SO much!

Chapter Nineteen

Present Day – One Month Later

'Daddy stop!'

Shannon sat back in her chair and joined in with the laughter that filled the room as Josh tickled Caitlin, making her cry with laughter. She loved watching the two of them together, they hadn't known each other long but already their bond was sealed. He loved their little girl and Caitlin finally had the father and grandfather that she'd always wanted.

She hadn't felt so happy in a very long time, everything seemed to be going well, almost too well. Caitlin had beaten off the infection that had taken hold of her body and put her at deaths door and on top of that, her new bone marrow was growing and over the past few weeks she'd been getting better every single day. Gone was the sickness, the tiredness, the lack of energy, Caitlin seemed to have a new lease of life and seeing her daughter getting back to her old self again had given her a new lease of life in the process.

'Mommy, did daddy tickle you like this?' Caitlin smiled at her once Josh had finally let up on his attack.

'Oh your daddy knew better than to do that to me honey, I HATE being tickled,' Josh smirked knowing full well that she was lying, he seemed to recall quite a few occasions where he'd tickled her when they were both naked, he could even tickle her with his beard in more intimate places.

'Yeah, you get your tickleishness from your mom,' Shannon shook her head and laughed.

'I think you just totally made up your own word,' Josh smiled when Shannon looked at him. For the first time since they'd met again she looked genuinely happy and relaxed, over the past few weeks they'd grown a lot closer to one another.

They'd both spent most of their time at Caitlin's side and when Shannon had taken the opportunity to leave the hospital and get some rest, she'd gone back to his newly rented place and not her mother's house. She hadn't even spoken to her mother, it seemed like she was completely done with her and Josh was pleased. Her mom had always been a complete fucking bitch to her and now it seemed Shannon had just had enough.

Now that he was here he was determined to make the three of them a family, he'd been thinking about it for weeks but now that he finally had a place to live out here he knew what he had to do, as soon as Caitlin was well enough to get out of the hospital, he wanted both his girls to come and stay with him. That woman who called herself a mother and grandmother didn't deserve to see either of them ever again as far as he was concerned, she'd not been to see Caitlin once since he'd been here, she didn't care for her, if she did she would have put her feelings aside to come and take care of her granddaughter but she couldn't. She called herself a Christian woman but when she died she would be burning in hell for how badly she'd treated the people that she was meant to love and take care of.

'I think I'm gonna go and get something to eat from that deli across the street, do either of you want anything?' Shannon stood up from her seat, she could hear her stomach growling at her and she had a graving for a huge ham and pickle sandwich.

'Nope but I think daddy should go with you, he could probably do with a cigarette, couldn't you daddy?' Caitlin smiled sweetly at Josh who stood up and grinned back at his clever and slightly devious daughter, she was proving to be a damn good teammate.

'You just read my mind honey!' Shannon eyed the pair of them up suspiciously before Josh walked past her and motioned for her to follow him.

They closed the door to her room and began walking down the corridor towards the elevator.

'What are you two up to?' Shannon asked as they reached the elevator and Josh pressed the call button. He turned around and shrugged his shoulders.

'I don't know what you mean,' Josh feigned innocence.

'Oh come on! I've seen the looks, the winks, heard the whispered conversations between the two of you, you are busted dumbo so spill!' Shannon smirked a little as the tips of his ears went red after her insult.

'We're just bonding that's all, there's nothing going on,' Josh smiled as the elevator pinged and the doors opened, he stepped inside first and Shannon followed, 'nothing you need to know about anyway.' Josh winked at Shannon as the elevator doors closed and she responded by lightly punching his arm.

She just felt so comfortable around him, now that Phil had calmed down and backed off they had spent a lot more time together and it was nice, it was more than nice, she felt like she was a teenager all over again. Their friendship and their subsequent relationship had been so intense, spending time with him again just made her feel like the missing part of her puzzle had finally fit together.

When the elevator reached the ground floor Josh held back and allowed Shannon to go out ahead of him, that way he could catch a glimpse of her ass, she was wearing tight white jeans and she looked really fucking hot in them, the urge to reach out and touch her was almost too much to control as he walked behind her and kept staring at her behind.

'Joshua Harris I know you're looking at my ass. Why don't you take a picture of it? It'll last longer,' Shannon couldn't help but smirk as she continued to walk ahead of him. Knowing that he was looking at her gave her a kick, she wasn't all that confident about her body, her mother had made so many jibes about her weight over the years that she could barely stand to look at herself in the mirror, in fact, Josh was probably looking at her ass because it was pretty hard to miss. He was used to Playboy Models and beautiful women now, she was plain in comparison to what he could have.

When they got outside Shannon was about to make her way across the street when Josh pulled her back.

'Sit down with me, I wanna have a cigarette first,' Josh said as he pulled her towards a free bench for them to take a seat.

'I could go across to the deli while you have your cigarette and then we can go back upstairs…'

'Shannon, Caitlin will be fine on her own for ten minutes so stop freaking out okay? What do you think I'm gonna do to you?'

'Sorry, I just feel like I need to be there with her you know? I know that she's doing really well and it's great, it's so fucking great but in the back of my mind, I keep waiting for something bad to happen. It's stupid I know,' Shannon sighed, she couldn't help but shake the feeling that things were just going too well.

'It's not stupid, it's natural. Even when Caitlin, if Caitlin, does fully recover I'll still be worried about her every fucking day. There'll be boyfriends, dates, drinking….Jesus I'll be bald before I hit thirty!'

'You might be bald before you hit twenty nine, your hairs not looking so thick these days,' Shannon teased and watched as Josh ran a hand through his hair deliberately.

'Still plenty there for chicks to grab hold of…not that I plan on letting them do that I mean, things are different now…'

'Josh it's fine. I know you haven't lived like a monk since we've been apart, one search of your name on Google tells me that,' Shannon bit down on her lip, why the fuck did she just say that?

'You googled me?' Josh asked after taking a long drag from his cigarette.

'I wasn't spying on you or doing it regularly, I just, I caught a glimpse of you on TV and I guess my curiosity got the better of me,' she shrugged as she tried to make light of what she'd just said.

'What did you find?' He asked, he had a fair idea about what she would find, he hadn't exactly been discreet about his womanising ways after all.

'Pictures, lots of pictures, you seem to have developed a taste for blonde women with huge tits and small waists,' she replied, failing to hide the tinge of jealousy in her voice as she spoke.

'Yeah well, there's a reason for that,' Josh took one last puff out of his cigarette and dropped it to the ground, smashing his foot down on it to put it out.

'What's the reason?' Shannon asked as she turned to look at him.

'They were the complete opposite of you, that's why,' before she could ask what he meant by that, he got up from his seat and walked away from her, turning when he got to the edge of the sidewalk, 'come on, let's get some food.'

He waited for her to catch up and they walked across the street together without saying another word. He didn't really know how to explain to her what he'd meant by his comment. What was he going to say?

'Yeah Shannon, I fucked blonde, fake, plastic women because I wanted to try and forget about you? I couldn't look at a brunette because everytime I did I would think about you? But even fucking blonde sluts every night of the week didn't help because each time I came, I came thinking about you, imagining I was inside you.' That shit was hardly romantic and he didn't really want to talk about any of his past conquests because to him, none of them mattered.

There was only one person that he wanted to be with, that he wanted in his bed night after night, year after year and that was her. Everything was going so well right now and he didn't want to screw it all up by moving too fast or saying something stupid that would push her away again. He wanted to take it slow and to do things right this time because he couldn't bear to lose her all over again. Losing her once had broken his heart, if it happened again, he didn't know if he would have the strength to go on.

They ordered their food at the deli and waited for it in silence. Shannon was trying to figure out what Josh meant, was it supposed to be a backhanded compliment to her that he'd not fucked around with brunettes or something? She couldn't work it out, she hadn't been with another man because she had never wanted anyone but Josh, the thought of having another man inside her made her feel sick but that didn't mean that Josh should have remained celibate for the past ten years. He'd had far more temptation thrown his way, his lifestyle was such that women would be around him all the time whereas she had spent her nights indoors looking after Caitlin, she'd never had to fend off men. Sure, there'd been a couple of guys interested in her and her mom had tried to set her up on dates with guys from her church but she'd never been interested in seeing anyone else, it wouldn't be fair to date another man when all she could think about was Josh. How could she love anyone else when her heart still belonged to him even after all this time?

'Two ham and pickles to go!'

Josh grabbed their sandwiches from the girl behind the counter and followed Shannon out of the deli and back across the street. They were about to go back into the hospital when Shannon happened to look across to the car-park, she immediately froze as soon as she saw who was coming towards her.

'Shannon, what's wrong?' Josh asked as he saw her face fall, he followed her eyeline and his own face frowned as he saw the woman that he hated walking towards him. 'I'll deal with this.'

Shannon pulled Josh's arm and stopped him from walking past her. 'Don't Josh, I can deal with this, just go back inside and be with Caitlin okay? She'll be wondering where we are,' she smiled as she tried to persuade Josh that she could deal with her mother on her own.

'I don't wanna leave you…'

'Joshua I'm a big girl now, I'll be fine,' Shannon smiled reassuringly.

Josh didn't really want to go but he knew that Shannon had some things to say to her mother, as much as he wanted to get in on the act he could save his words for another time.

Shannon watched as Josh walked away and took a deep breath as she began walking towards her mother. She hadn't seen her in over a month, her mother had said and done some hurtful things in the past but not coming to see Caitlin while she was on her deathbed was the worst thing that she had ever done and Shannon couldn't forgive her for it. She'd stayed loyal to her mother for so long, she felt she owed it to her to stay with her because the last thing her dad said to her before he died was for her to look after her mom. She'd tried, she'd tried so hard to do that but enough was enough, she couldn't take the taunts, the bullying, the lack of love, she just couldn't go on pretending that things were okay when they weren't.

'I see you and your boyfriend are back together again. I'm ashamed of you Shannon Andrews!'

'Mom, for once in your life will you just shut the fuck up?' Shannon snapped.

'How dare you talk to me like that young lady! After everything I've done for you!'

'Oh yeah, you've done SO much mom!' Shannon laughed bitterly as her mother glared at her.

'If any other woman had a fat, ugly, whore of a daughter like you they would have kicked you out on the street a long time ago! This thing you have with that man, it won't last, nothing will ever last because you're poison! Everything and everyone you touch you infect and I've had enough! I left all of yours and Caitlin's things outside, I want you to come and get them before the day is over, if you don't they'll be given to the church. I don't want to see you or her ever again!'

Shannon just stood frozen to the spot as her mother turned and walked away. She was in complete shellshock from what had just happened, her mother was the only person in the world that could take away her joy and make her feel like complete shit after only a few minutes.

She started to walk, she didn't know where she was going or what she was going to do, she just needed to get away from here. Her mother's words replayed in her head, she was poison, everyone that she'd ever loved had either left her or fallen ill and the common denominator in all this was her, it all came back to her.

A Few Hours Later

'Dad! Jesus I've been trying to get hold of you for the past two fucking hours!'

'Sorry but I was out getting some food and I left my phone…'

'It doesn't matter! Just tell me, is Shannon there at the house?' Josh said, he was panicking, really fucking panicking.

She'd disappeared, he knew that he shouldn't have left her with her bitch of a mother, what the fuck had she said to make Shannon leave without a fucking trace? He'd searched for her everywhere, he'd been outside, searched the hospital but he couldn't find her.

'Shannon ain't here, what's happened Josh?' Phil could sense the panic in his son's voice and he immediately thought that something had happened to Caitlin. 'Is Caitlin okay? I'll come over right now!'

'Dad, Caitlin's fine but yeah, you do need to come over here, Shannon's disappeared and I need to try and find her,' Josh sighed heavily down the line, he knew where he needed to go first.

'What do you mean she's disappeared?' Phil asked, fearing that Shannon had run away like she had done once before.

'Her mom turned up and I left them both outside so they could talk, she hasn't been back since and I've looked everywhere for her. That fucking bitch must have said or done something and I need to go see her,' Josh snapped as his anger began to boil inside him.

'Don't do anything fucking stupid Josh okay? I know that bitch can make you mad, I don't want you ending up in jail cos of her,' Phil replied, Julia knew which buttons to press alright, she'd made Josh lose it on more than one occasion in the past.

'I'm not gonna hurt her dad, she just needs to hear a few home truths that's all. Look I gotta go and tell Caitlin where I'm going, I'll call you as soon as I find her,' Josh ended the call, enough time had been wasted already, he needed to find Shannon before she possibly did something stupid.

Sure, she had been a lot happier over the past few weeks but he knew how her mother could change all that so quickly. He was worried about her, really fucking worried, he should never have left her alone with that fucking bitch, he should have stayed at her side and told Julia to fuck off out of their lives for good, he was gonna take care of his girls from now on and Julia had no place in their lives.

He ran back into the hospital after ending the call with his father, he bypassed the elevator and took the stairs instead, by the time he reached Caitlin's room he was struggling to breath. He stood outside for a few minutes trying to calm himself down, he couldn't show Caitlin that he was worried because that would make her panic. When he'd finally managed to get his breath back, he opened the door to her room and stuck a smile on his face.

'Did you find mommy?' Caitlin asked hopefully and Josh shook his head.

'I did call her though, she's not feeling too good honey, the sandwich she ate has given her a bad stomach so she's gone home for a few hours, I need to go and take care of her for a while so Grandpa's gonna come and sit with you, is that alright?' Josh asked his daughter who nodded.

'Grandpa can tell me more fishing stories! And you can try and get mommy to go on a date with you, it's perfect!' She smiled and Josh couldn't help but smile with her, she was so determined to get them back together, Josh just hoped that Shannon hadn't disappeared without a trace, how would he tell Caitlin if she had?

'Alright honey, I'll be back in a little while okay? Grandpa will be here soon, don't get into any trouble while I'm gone,' Josh walked over to her bed and planted a kiss on her forehead before he left her room.

As soon as he shut her door he began to jog back out of the hospital and out to the carpark where his rental car was waiting for him. He drove as fast as he could over to Julia's house, he'd been to the house with Shannon a few weeks ago to pick up some more clothes for her and Caitlin so he knew exactly where he was going.

He reached the house in under fifteen minutes, his anger was bubbling inside him as he got out of the car and walked up the front path to the front door, his mood was made even worse when he reached the porch and he saw dozens and dozens of boxes and bags sitting there. He looked in one of the boxes and found a load of toys, he knew then that Shannon and Caitlin had been thrown out by her mother, what kind of fucking person would do something like this when their granddaughter was still fighting a battle against cancer?

He hammered his fists against the front door, he knew that the bitch was inside, her car was parked in the driveway, he wasn't going to leave without talking to her and telling her exactly what he thought of her.

'I'M CALLING THE POLICE!'

'CALL THEM AND I'LL GO RIGHT TO YOUR PRECIOUS FUCKING CHURCH AND TELL THEM WHAT A FUCKING EVIL, SOULLESS BITCH YOU ARE!' Josh shouted back, he wasn't going to back down, this had been coming for a very long time.

Everything went quiet for a few minutes and Josh was sure that she'd hidden herself somewhere whilst she waited for the police. The sensible thing to do would have been for him to walk away but he couldn't, she might know where Shannon was and he had to find her, he couldn't lose her all over again.

He was about to throw himself at the door to break it down when he heard the lock click, Julia opened the door and stood in front of him with a look of pure hatred flashed across her face.

'Shannon's gone and it's all your fault, what did you say to her?' Josh tried to keep calm as he clenched his fists together.

'I just told her a few truths that's all, it's not my fault if she can't handle the truth,' she sneered, the look on her face made Josh want to just slap her but he couldn't, he'd never put his hands on a woman and he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing him get carted off to jail.

'The truth huh, you and I both know what the truth is Julia. Shannon tried SO fucking hard to win your approval, to win your love and nothing was ever good enough for you was it? No matter what she did there'd always be someone smarter than her, someone more beautiful than her, you all but destroyed your own fucking daughter…'

'I am not listening to such filth!'

She tried to slam the door but he was quicker than her, he put his foot in the way and grabbed the door with his arm as he pushed his way inside the house.

'You're gonna listen to every single fucking word Julia and you're gonna take responsibility for what you did to her! You bullied, you mocked your own fucking daughter, your own flesh and blood, the person that YOU were meant to love and take care of! Is it any wonder that she came to me? That we made love to each other? All she fucking wanted was for YOU to love her Julia and you never have, you never fucking did! The only person that you love is yourself and your precious fucking God! What would God think about someone who abandoned their sick granddaughter when she needed her? What would God think about a woman making their own daughter a complete mess because of the things that you've said and done over the years? You think you're gonna be going to that white palace in the sky? You're gonna BURN in HELL you selfish, cold, evil fucking bitch!' Josh snarled as Julia began to weep.

'If anything has happened to Shannon, it's your fault, you'll have her blood on your hands and you'll never remove it no matter how much you fucking pray or beg for forgiveness! I hope you rot for what you've done, I hope you suffer as much pain as you deserve, you had a beautiful daughter and granddaughter and now you've lost them both because I am NEVER gonna let you come anywhere near them ever again, they're MY girls now and I'm gonna do what you never did, I'm gonna protect them and give them all the love they need.'

Josh watched as the pathetic bitch fell to the floor in tears, she was right, the truth really did fucking hurt and he hoped it caused her pain for the rest of her sorry life.

He closed the door on her and made his way back to the car, he'd said everything that he needed to say, now he had to try and find his Shannon.