CHAPTER 17

Cuddy was busy grabbing files from the drawers in her office on Monday morning, when Wilson knocked on her door and walked in.

Looking at Wilson from the filing cabinet she remarks, "I suppose you're here to talk about my date with House. "She goes to look back into the file drawer as she says, "Which is kind of funny since I'm sure he's already shared the details with you ….including the fact that I slept with him."

Wilson screws with Cuddy a bit by making a shocked face saying, "You slept with House?"

Suddenly horrified Cuddy looks back at Wilson and asks, "You didn't know I slept with him?"

To which Wilson gives her a boyish grin and replies, "House did tell me that. I just wanted to see how you'd react."

Annoyed she turns back to the drawer and remarks to him, "God….you're getting just as bad as he is." She closes the drawer and goes to sit at her desk asking Wilson, "So, why are you here if you already know all about what happened?" She then sits.

"Because I wanted to see if you had any regrets about what happened." He answers her standing in front of the desk.

Sitting back in her chair with her arms resting on the arms rests and hands folded in front of her, she becomes lost in thought for a moment.

She then answers Wilson, "I….don't have any regrets about what happened. I just…have a lot of fear. I know how he is and I know how he can get. I can deal with a lot of his crap….but…..I'm worried about getting so close to him that if he really does something to hurt me…..I don't know how I'll recover. Flirty hostility is one thing but downright hostility from him scares me….because then I'd just question whether or not he gave a damn about me at all."

Wilson sits in a chair across from her and says, "Your thoughts and feelings about him are completely normal. I'd be worried too, because he does have the capability to hurt the people closest to him. But keep in mind that you and I have been through a lot together with him and we've survived so far. There's no question that he's done a lot of things to piss us off. However, he's done a lot to keep us close to him too when he's crossed the line. The truth is, Lisa, he's crazy about you. He really loves you. And it's been a long time since I've seen him like this. He's going to be especially careful with this relationship, because it's you and you've known him a long time."

"That's just it, Wilson. I don't want him to be careful. I want him to be himself. He may be a pain in my ass sometimes, but I don't want him to change just to make me happy because that'll make him miserable. I don't want that." She tells him.

"You know, I always thought to myself that whoever ended up with him would have to be a strong, patient woman who sees beyond his jerk persona, because underneath….he does actually have a heart. You see in him the things no other woman has seen in him….not even Stacy. And I admit that it took me a long time to realize that myself. Don't be afraid to tell him and show him how you feel. He's curious about you and interested in you. And you know House…he only surrounds himself with interesting people and puts up the yellow tape for the rest."

Cuddy gives him a smile.

Wilson continues, "One thing you have to keep in mind is that I don't think House is the marrying type. Now, I know that's thinking way ahead here, but I think it's important to realize. I know you've always had a family life in the back of your mind, but I don't think you'll get that kind of commitment from him. Don't get me wrong. He'll be loyal to you and a companion but just don't expect a ring on your finger."

"If I expected that from him, I would have never said yes to a date. At this point in my life, I just want to be with someone I care about because I'm tired of being lonely. Rachel is great, but I can't have an adult conversation with her. She can't fill that last void in my life. She can only fill part of it."

Cuddy pauses for a moment then says to Wilson, "I appreciate you coming in here and talking to me. But I think this is a conversation House and I should be having."

He looks at her and says, "Fair enough." Wilson stands up from the chair.

Cuddy looks up at him and says, "Wilson, you're a good friend…not just to him….but to me too. Thank you."

He smiles and acknowledges, "You're welcome."

He goes to walk out but turns around and inquires, "Let me ask you something."

"Sure, "She reacts.

"Do you love him?" He questions.

Cuddy sits there quiet for a moment, as that last question really hits her heart. A bit puzzled by the inquiry she quietly responds, "Of course I do." She takes a deep breath and says, "I never realized how much I did until everything happened with him and he wasn't around. I missed him so much." She put her head down and plays with her nails as she fights the urge to allow a tear to escape and continues, "I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to him, Wilson." She picks her head up wiping both eyes from the tears that managed to appear and says to him, "I feel like an idiot right now. I'm sorry."

Wilson smiles and says, "Don't apologize. Just remember that things don't have to go badly between the two of you."

She nods and Wilson exits her office.