Disclaimer: I could only wish I own Kenshin.
Chapter 3
Daybreak had passed and the sun shone with all its glory upon the land. For many, a bright, dawning day symbolized hope and renewal, something to anticipate and celebrate. But for Kaoru, it was just another day to be reminded of Sanosuke's' sinful unfaithfulness.
Sometimes, when Kaoru found herself impassively staring at Sano's form, certain views and angles from that explicit video would unexpectedly flash before her eyes and irrepressibly replay in her mind. It would linger and whirl in her consciousness for a while, rousing in her fierce emotions of hatred and hurt. It made her feel disgusted to think that she had a husband capable of such immoral behaviors. It would make her want to distance herself from Sano, to be as far from him as possible, in a place where no one could remind her of how utterly misled and pitiful she was.
But there was something always holding her back, tapping her conscience vehemently, and telling her how exclusively bound she must be to Sano. It was an absolute imperativeness- one she could never neglect, something forcefully commanding her to stay and look after her bedridden husband.
It was responsibility, as a wife, as a woman.
As she was bounded by responsibility she now was doing halfheartedly, Kaoru found herself walking to the general direction of the ICU. When she reached the ward, Kaoru saw a familiar redhead sitting in one of the lobby benches, his brows burrowed as if struggling with a deep internal conflict and his eyes glued to his hands. Sighing, he looked up and his gaze caught Kaoru's. He immediately shot out of his seat and walked towards her with a definite pace.
Kaoru tried eluding him and continued on her way as if she did not distinguish who he really was. She just stopped in her tracks when she felt a light hand latch onto her wrist. Kaoru shook off his hand and refused to return the look he had given her.
"I'd like to apologize about the other night," Kenshin softly said after withdrawing his hold on her. "I'm very sorry," he said genuinely and made a rather deep bow.
Kaoru looked up at him and nodded in understanding before proceeding on her way. It was not that she was really angry at the incident; she had glimpsed the pain behind his questioning eyes and she just couldn't deal with him right now.
Lunch rolled around and Kaoru got a message from their assigned public prosecutor holding the case of the traffic accident that he wanted to see both Kenshin Himura and Kaoru Sagara. She was first to arrive at the designated meeting place. The prosecutor, an elderly man, busied himself by meticulously reading some legal papers and signing his name where it was needed while they waited for the other party. Kaoru contented herself with watching the man rather uninterestedly.
After a minute or two, Kenshin finally turned up and the old man made way for him. He murmured a diminutive and apologetic remark before sitting beside Kaoru. Then the prosecutor began explaining some of the legal issues surrounding the case.
"I'm telling you, it will not be easy settling with the victim's family," the prosecutor stated with a cautionary voice and bothered expression. The creases and indentions on his forehead deepened.
"The victim was so young, he turned 20 just last month."
Kenshin listened silently, the solemn look of the prosecutor mirrored on his face. Kaoru's shoulder slumped with a heavy sigh as she watched her hands on her lap. Silence ensued and the pair seemed uncomfortable.
"Regardless of who was driving the vehicle used or who was really at fault in this whole, dreadful circumstance, whether Sanosuke or Megumi," the old man broke the terse silence and adjusted the thick spectacles on his nose, "It'd be best if the both of you attended the victim's funeral."
The ride was fairly quiet, except for the slight grating of gravel along the tar road. They were headed somewhere along the outskirts of the province. Kenshin and Kaoru shared each other's company devoid of any word or remark.
Kaoru was fascinated with watching the scenic landscape flew by. She watched, quite in awe, as the rolling fields stretched endlessly towards the horizon to meet the towering mountains ahead. There were old-fashioned countryside houses scattered over the land and observing the people's simple and peaceful life made her feel somehow envious.
Kenshin focused on the road. He was busy looking for certain signposts that would easily direct them to where the minute village they were heading to was located. He drove off an exit ramp and onto a small local road. The stone beaten trail then directed them to a group of old houses flocked together in a small semi-circle. Kenshin announced their obvious arrival and Kaoru duly responded. She immediately stepped out of the jeep, even as Kenshin made an obvious gesture signifying that he would open the car door for her.
Kenshin started walking towards the direction of the funeral, but quickly halted when he realized Kaoru wasn't following. He turned around to face her and only then did he notice the fear that tainted her features.
She was quite unsure if she wanted, or if she even had the strength to witness the consequences of Sano's ill deeds. Kaoru leaned on the car for a moment and took in a quivering breath. Deep in thought, she swiftly realized how unfair for Kenshin if she left him alone to meet the unquestionably devastated relations of the victim.
Kaoru was brought out of her contemplations when Kenshin's figure invaded her vision. His lips curved into a small, reassuring smile before gesturing to the direction of the funeral. She nodded and together they walked towards it.
There was a small gathering around the open space in front of the family's old-fashioned bungalow. Few tents were situated to provide shade for the population in the funeral. People with matching looks of sadness shared a small repast around a big table. Some were having wordless conversations and others took time playing board games to fight off the sleepy heat of the afternoon. A melancholic aura utterly engulfed the whole area and Kaoru immediately felt guilty.
Kenshin and Kaoru approached the miniature house, to pay their respects and make bows where necessary. An elderly woman then came forward, forcedly putting a smile on her tired and aged visage despite the situation.
"Are you friends of our beloved son?" the woman asked with her sad, raspy voice while offering them available seats around the area.
The pair managed a very low bow and they both denied the question. The old woman continued looking at them inquisitively with her puffy, cheerless eyes, and they both sensed the need to make their identities known. Kenshin courageously took the opportunity to introduce himself first.
"Condolences," Kenshin stated in a rather mournful and apologetic voice. He kept his head low and then delicately chose his words. "I am the husband of the one who brought about this dreadful accident," he managed through a shuddering and uneasy breath, "I'm so sorry."
As soon as the words left his mouth, the woman's face broke into a contorted expression of hurt and grief. She collapsed slowly to one of the nearest stool and depended on it for support. She began crying, putting a hand over her chest. What began as a collection of mourning sobs now became a series of broken wails. The weeps became louder and Kenshin and Kaoru could no longer meet the eyes of the victim's family.
Shortly, the attention of the whole population in the funeral was focused on them. A middle-aged woman, carrying food and drinks, approached to see what the uproar was all about. Cautiously, she drew near Kaoru, who had been silent and downcast for a while now, with a concerned look on her face.
"How about you," her voice started to tremble with possibly anger and pain, "What is your connection with my brother?"
Kaoru found herself afraid and unable to meet her inquiring gaze. She had figured that the woman was also one of the closest relatives of the victim and just as grieved. Slowly, she made a stooping bow and echoed the same words Kenshin had mentioned earlier.
"I'm the wife of the one who caused the terrible accident," Kaoru uttered meekly. And with pure regret in her eyes, voice laden with sadness, she added, "I'm so sorry."
The woman at once dropped everything in her hands and, with eyes that were fierce and angry, she advanced dangerously close to Kaoru. She slapped her harshly across the face and started pulling out Kaoru's hair with a mighty force. Kaoru did not or, more correctly, chose not to retaliate or defend herself against the cruelty. She was never and would never be in the right place to do so.
Kenshin, hearing Kaoru's broken sobs, sensed the need for his immediate actions. He went between the two and tried to hide Kaoru behind the protection of his back. Kenshin could only be silent as the woman hit him recklessly and tried to shove him out of the way at the same time.
Maybe Kenshin was too busy trying to comprise with Kaoru's share of cruelty from the distressed woman that he did not notice when a man, who was equally indignant, turned upon him.
The man, without any warning, hit Kenshin squarely in the face. "Return my brother back to us!" He yelled frenziedly with pure antagonism and pain.
Kenshin lurched to the floor; he did not expect the blow. The man was about to do the same move again but several people, who had realized the risk of the episode, rushed forward to stop the hysterical man.
"Go to hell!"
The man looked up at them, angry tears slipping down his washed-out face. Resisting against the arms impeding his movements, the man let loose a string of biting remarks and curses that was aimed particularly at Kenshin and Kaoru.
The old mother, who had been in the corner crying her heart out, now decided to take control of the unpleasant situation. She went over the pair and pleaded for them to leave. Kenshin and Kaoru hesitated at first. They remained rooted to their own positions: frozen, shaken, hushed, and with downcast gazes.
"Please," the old woman said through beseeching moans and she frantically waved them off with her hands.
"Just leave," she could not say anything more. Her words were choked by sobbing.
The ride back to the hotel was even more silent than the journey over. Kaoru had been trying so hard to halt the sobs that were recklessly escaping her composure, but to no avail. Her mind kept replaying the awful incidents. And she felt extremely at fault. Why did an innocent have to lose his life as a consequence of another's ill deeds?
Feeling that she could no longer avoid the urge to break down, Kaoru spoke with a tone of slight discomfort and defeat.
"Please stop the car."
Kenshin's golden eyes glittered as he slung her a concerned look. He accordingly responded to her request and he pulled over smoothly to the side lane and cautiously parked the car.
Kaoru without delay exited the car. She crossed the narrow highway and went to the opposite side, where there was a great view of vast fields that extended into the sunset. With a sigh of defeat, Kaoru collapsed to her feet and then let all the despair take over her senses. She buried her face in her hands and cried. What began as a sequence of sobs now became a collection of tormenting wails. Pain, guilt, sadness, anger- they all fused to give her a burden so profound that Kaoru felt as if she was being crushed beneath it. And the saddest part was that the only person she thought would deliver her from all of it was also the same reason why she was in so much sorrow. Sanosuke left her so alone to face the miseries that he had been so responsible of, and she felt helpless being placed in such a position.
Kaoru cried her heart out, uncaring no more of the breathing world around her.
Through the side mirror, Kenshin observed her movements and sadly tore his gaze away from Kaoru. He took a long, heavy breath and looked down. The ugly incidents at the funeral had made him comprehend that his life partner, Megumi, had just been accountable for so much ill deeds- a horrendous affair, a shattered trust, a vanished life, a grieved family, and sorrow for him and for Kaoru. He looked up and studied Kaoru again, and in reality, he felt like crying too. He slammed his hand on the wheel in front of him, hoping that he could remove the remorse and hurt he harbored within his heart.
After debating with himself, Kenshin stepped out of the car and hesitantly, he approached Kaoru. He made sure to keep a considerable distance between himself and her. His gaze settled upon the stretching fields around them and his mind wandered perpetually. From the first time, he knew about the clandestine affair, to the night he broke down and admitted the cruel truth, to the time he felt bitter resentment and ultimate anger at Megumi's infidelity, and to the grief they had brought to the family that was innocent and unworthy of it. Kenshin thought about all of it and he stared at Kaoru crying her anguish to the heavens. He realized that he was not as alone, that beside him and under the same sky, there was another soul suffering the severe hurt and frustration he was.
A storm of painful realizations could easily trigger a flood of overwhelming sadness. Kenshin did not know what to say or what to do. He felt lonely and helpless.
As he listened to the whispers of a profound hurt, slowly, Kenshin had come to comprehend that two hearts in deep desolation could easily be linked and be assuaged by threads of their mutual pain.
The air was filled with Kaoru's sobs that echoed through the night and Kenshin could not do anything but listen impassively. He looked at her with so much compassion in his eyes; no pity but pain at their common burden. Kenshin decided that he would have to stand there by her. No, it was beyond his plan and verbal ability to offer Kaoru extravagant words of comfort, but hoped that somehow his mere presence would be enough- enough to tell her that that he too was sorry, that he too was lonely, and that he too was hurting.
The bowl of dark night was beginning to deepen. The stars were starting to shine its weak light from the heavens. There was a placid, quiet wind dancing among the blades of grass. Truly, grief could easily make one hour ten. The pair did not move an inch. After what seemed like an eternity, Kaoru finally managed to compose herself and stood up. Without a word, she walked back to the vehicle, wiping the remnants of her tears. Kenshin slowly followed.
Kaoru now found herself on the passenger seat and Kenshin next her. He gave her an encouraging look before starting the car for their journey home.
Thirty minutes later snow began to fall heavily, and their surrounding was suddenly dim white, profusely covered by the fine shreds of the snow. The series of streetlamps appeared as blurry orange orbs that indistinctly provided a faint light along the stretch of shadowy, obscure road ahead of them. Kenshin decided to drive ever so slowly and carefully, giving them a bundle of time to be introspective and yet be so much aware of each other's presence. The silence was impeccable. But between the pair, it was the most amiable of its kind; the two cherished and chose to preserve it.
Kaoru had been watching the windshield wipers slowly washing the fragments of snow away and she realized that following its movements was actually adding up to the weariness of her puffy eyes. Slowly, she diverted her gaze and snuck a peek towards Kenshin. His golden eyes glittered with every street light that they passed by. Kaoru sighed with relief and, somehow, security.
She was not as alone as she had thought.