Thank you all so much for the reviews, I apologise in advance because again this is a long chapter, I just can't seem to stop writing once I get going, I just hope I don't waffle on too much! Here's another update for this beautiful weekend, I hope you all enjoy and please review! :)

Chapter Twenty One

Shannon stirred against Josh's chest as he started to stroke her long, curly brown hair. He was tired but he didn't want to sleep, he just wanted to look at her. He'd dreamt about this moment for so long, he had her back in his arms and this time he was gonna make sure that she stayed there.

He lay completely still for hours as she slept against his chest, he couldn't take his eyes off her, he was mesmerized by her beauty, by every single inch of her.

When light started to pour through the small opening in the curtains Josh was disappointed, he knew she would wake up soon and then he'd have to let go of her when all he wanted to do was hold onto her forever.

Shannon had enjoyed such a good night's sleep, she hadn't slept so peacefully in a very long time. In his arms she felt safe, she felt loved and she had yearned for that feeling ever since they'd parted ways. Now she had it back again, she had him again and she was determined for it to work. She knew that she needed to tackle her low self-esteem and paranoia, if she was going to be with him she would have to get used to other women fawning all over him, now that he was on TV it came with the territory. She had to trust him, she did trust him but things weren't going to be easy, she knew that.

Even though she was wide awake she kept her eyes closed for a while, she liked feeling his hands trail up and down her back and through her hair, she liked his smell. Part of her just wanted to stay here all day but she had to see Caitlin, they both needed to see her.

'I know you're awake flower, I can see your eyelids flickering,' Josh whispered as Shannon opened her eyes and greeted him with a smile.

'Did you get any sleep?' Josh shook his head as Shannon sat up slightly, planting a kiss on his chest as she let her fingers begin to run over his stomach.

'Nope, I just wanted to look at you, part of me can't believe that you're here,' Shannon smiled as Josh began to stroke her cheek.

'Well I am here and I'm not gonna go anywhere this time, you're stuck with me I'm afraid. Are you sure you're ready for all the hormones that will be floating around when Caitlin gets home?' Josh groaned as Shannon began to laugh.

'Hey, I get stuck with five smelly, sex starved men when I'm out fishing, living with two women will be a fucking breeze in comparison! You're the one that can deal with all the sex talk and time of the month shit though,' Shannon raised her eyebrow as Josh sat up a little to look at her properly, Jesus she was so fucking gorgeous!

'And I take it you'll be the one giving her boyfriend's grief and threatening them? Poor Caitlin, with you and your dad around I doubt she'll start dating until she's thirty.'

'I was thinking forty actually, thirty is still too young as far as I'm concerned,' Josh smirked as Shannon moved further up the bed so she could sit next to him, he wrapped one of his arms around her and pulled her close again, he needed to be close to her.

'If she's anything like me she won't listen to what we say, after all, I didn't listen to my mom did I?'

'And do you regret not listening to her?' Josh asked and smiled as Shannon shook her head.

'I've got a beautiful daughter because of you, if I'd listened to her I wouldn't have Caitlin and I wouldn't have had those times with you in the past. The only regret I have is leaving you and running away with her, she never cared about me or Caitlin, she only ever cared about herself, about HER reputation,' Shannon sighed heavily.

'Then why did you stay with her? You could have come back to me Shannon,' Josh stroked her upper arm, he needed to understand the reasons behind her staying with her mother for so long when she'd treated her so badly.

'I didn't know that I could come back to you Josh. When we went to that clinic, I was so scared, I just wanted you to grab my hand and take me out of there but you didn't, you just sat there and you didn't say a thing, I thought you wanted me to get rid of her. I thought about coming back so many times but then I would panic, I imagined turning up on your doorstep, you taking one look at me and my stomach and slamming the door in my face and I couldn't put myself through that so I stayed with her. I promised my dad I'd take care of her, I wanted to love her and look after her because she doesn't have anyone else but the more I tried, the more she pulled away. I didn't have the confidence to leave Josh, I got out of her place as soon as I could and I made a life for Caitlin and I, then when she was diagnosed with cancer I had to go back again, I had to be with Caitlin. As soon as you came back here, I knew that I couldn't stay with her any longer, I want to be loved and I want Caitlin to be loved, with you, I know both of us are loved and you'll keep us safe,' Shannon smiled, hoping that her explanation made sense.

'I was so fucking stupid back then Shannon. I didn't ever want you to get rid of her, I really didn't,' Josh shook his head as he remembered how he'd reacted to the news of her pregnancy.

'Then why did you book me an appointment at that clinic? I don't understand Josh?'

'You talked so much about your dreams Shannon, about how you wanted to go to college and become a doctor so you could take care of people. I knew that if you kept the baby you'd let that dream die and I didn't want you to do that, you were the most intelligent person in our entire school, I wanted you to make something of yourself, I didn't want you to be tied down. In my fucked up head, I thought that having a termination would be the best thing for you, I didn't even think about how you might feel about it, I should have talked to you properly, I should have listened to you instead of dictating everything, I was a fucking idiot Shannon.'

'No, we were both idiots Joshua. We never sat down and talked about our feelings did we? I should have been honest with you and told you that I wanted to keep the baby from the start, if I'd done that things would have been different but we can't go back can we? Like you said last night, we can only move forward and I want to move forward with you Josh,' Shannon smiled as Josh leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

'We will move forward baby, I promise you. We have so much to catch up on, so much to learn about each other,' Josh smiled.

'Where I'm concerned there's not much to tell,' Shannon shrugged her shoulders, her life hadn't exactly been packed full of excitement since she'd been away from him.

'What no stupid ex-boyfriends that I can make fun of or anything?' Josh laughed and saw Shannon blush.

'Actually no, there's been no one else Josh, you're kinda the only person that I've ever been with,' she looked away from him, he probably thought that she'd been with lots of different guys, it was embarrassing for her to admit that it had been over ten years since she'd last had sex, she wasn't even sure she would know what to do anymore.

'Hey, it's okay, don't be embarrassed. I find that quite, hot,' Josh smirked as Shannon turned to look at him again.

'Hot?'

'Well you know, I'm the only person that's um, been inside you…'

'Joshua Harris! You have a one track mind!'

'I couldn't put it any other way! Well, I could have said my cock is the only..'

'Okay, okay! I get the picture dumbo!' Shannon laughed as Josh began to tickle her under the arms, just like he'd done to their daughter the other day.

'Take back the dumbo comment!'

'Never!'

They frolicked around on the bed for a few minutes until both of them were laughing so hard that they could barely breathe. It was childish fun but it didn't matter, Shannon was laughing again and Josh had never been so happy.

Once they had both got their breathe back, Josh remained in bed while Shannon went to take a shower. They both wanted to go and see Caitlin but Josh didn't know whether they should say anything to their daughter yet about what had been said last night. They hadn't even kissed properly yet, they wanted to take things slowly and knowing Caitlin, she would be discussing their wedding if they told her what was going on.

'I'm all done,' Shannon came into the room wrapped in a towel and Josh immediately felt his cock spring to life.

'Um yeah, I'll uh, go and uh, yeah,' Josh tried to get out of the room without Shannon noticing the tent pole in his pants but her eyes were firmly fixed upon it, it was pretty fucking hard to miss considering how well endowed he was.

He didn't say anything about it and neither did she, he figured that she probably liked the fact that he could get like this because of her, hopefully it made her feel more confident about herself.

Shannon sat down on the bed and smiled to herself after Josh had gone into the bathroom. Part of her wanted to just take the towel off and lay on the bed completely naked so he would come back into the room and just make love to her but deep down she knew it was too soon. As nice as it would be to make love to him again she was nervous, he'd been with so many different women, some of them had probably been mind-blowing and then there was her. She didn't have much experience at all, she wasn't like a porn star in bed, her body was by no means perfect either, she had stretch marks now and no matter how hard she exercised she couldn't get rid of the little bulge in her stomach. Josh was probably used to fucking around with flawless women, women that knew what they were doing. She had to try and build up her confidence before she could take him to bed again but she didn't know how she was going to do it.

Josh stood in the shower and let the cool water run over his body as he tried to forget about Shannon wearing nothing but a towel as her body dripped with water beads from the shower she had just taken, but he couldn't seem to get the image out of his brain.

He spent a few extra minutes in the shower 'taking care of himself' before he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He then made his way into the bedroom to find that Shannon had already left. As he dried himself off and began to put clothes on the smell of bacon began to drift upstairs.

One thing that Shannon could do well was cook. Over the years she'd taught herself how, she'd started by following recipes from books but now she was able to make things from scratch off the top of her head. She had to do something while she was staying here, she couldn't give Josh money but she would do her best to earn her keep. That started by making fresh pancakes with bacon and maple syrup. Josh used to love pancakes and she hoped that he still did because she'd made ten of them, she always made too many but they would keep for later and Phil could have some when he got home.

Josh quietly made his way downstairs and stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching Shannon cooking for a while, he just couldn't stop looking at her and thinking how lucky he was to have her, how lucky he was to have a daughter with her.

'Jesus Josh! How long have you been standing there?' Shannon jumped as she turned from the counter to put the pancakes and bacon down on the kitchen table.

'Sorry, I was just admiring the view,' he winked as he took a seat at the table and piled five pancakes on his plate as Shannon stared at him, 'what? I need to get my energy levels up and these look delicious!'

'You always did have a fucking big appetite, you eat anything you could get your hands on!' Shannon grinned as she took a seat next to him and put a couple of pancakes on her plate along with some bacon before pouring a glass of orange juice.

'I didn't just eat anything, or just anyone come to think of it,' Josh winked causing Shannon to blush furiously.

A few minutes passed by in silence as both of them eat the food that Shannon had made. Josh was beginning to regret his little remark when Shannon spoke up out of the blue.

'I still have it you know,' she said as Josh looked at her quizzically. 'That night when you and I went for a ride in your car, the ring you gave me.'

Josh watched as Shannon pulled a necklace out from under her shirt, on the end of the gold chain was the Promise Ring that he'd given her so long ago. He thought that she might have thrown it away, for her to have kept it, that meant a lot to him.

'I couldn't get rid of it, I couldn't get rid of any of the stuff you gave me, I still have that bear that you bought me for my fourteenth birthday. Well, Caitlin has it now,' Shannon smiled, in one of her boxes she knew there would be a locked box which contained all of his gifts, all of the memories of their past relationship, photos, cards, she'd never been able to part with them.

'Maybe one day I can get you a different ring, you're due an upgrade at some point,' Josh said and Shannon smiled back at him happily.

'Don't go saying things like that around Caitlin, she'll be picking out bridesmaids dresses in no time believe me!' Shannon laughed.

'Oh I believe you, you see, our daughter has been um, working with me,' Josh said as Shannon took another sip of her drink.

'Ahh so that's what all the little looks and whispered conversations have been about, you two have been plotting behind my back!'

'Yeah but for good reason, we both wanted the same thing and now it looks like we're going to get it,' Josh put his fork down and let his hand touch Shannon's.

'I don't want to say anything to her yet though, not until a little time has passed you know?' Shannon gripped his hand, hoping that he would understand why she didn't want to tell Caitlin just yet.

'I agree, I kinda like the idea of sneaking around, it'll be like we are teenagers all over again,' Josh smiled.

'Except this time we don't have to worry about my mom, thank fuck!'

'Or that dumb fucking cop that kept finding us wherever we went for some 'private' time together,' Josh winked as Shannon nudged him.

'You seriously have sex on the brain, dirty fucker!'

'But you love me anyway right?'

'You know I do,' Shannon planted a kiss on his nose before grabbing their empty plates and getting up to put them in the dishwasher.

'I think it's time for us to go and see our little girl, dad's been there since early yesterday evening, he'll be worn out,' Josh sighed as he got up from the table.

'Um, when are we going to tell your dad about me moving in here? When he gets here he's going to know that something is going on when he sees the boxes…'

'Don't worry about my dad, I can talk to him while you spend some time with Caitlin, he'll be fine Shannon, as long as I'm happy, he's happy,' Josh wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into one last hug before they went into the hall to put their coats on.

Josh instinctively took Shannon's hand as they walked out to the car, they looked like a normal, happy couple that had been together for years. He hated the fact that he had to drive because it meant that he couldn't look at her and that's all that he wanted to do. He wanted to memorize every single pore so that when she wasn't around he could think about her. He was drowning in his love for her but he didn't care anymore, he knew now that she loved him back and no matter what walls they had to climb or what shit they had to face they were going to make it because he wasn't losing her again, no fucking way.

Shannon kept looking at Josh as he drove them to the hospital, even though they hadn't been in each other's lives for years she felt so comfortable around him. There was nothing that she couldn't tell him, any fears that she had she knew that she could share with him and bit by bit she was going to share everything. She wanted him to know all about her and she wanted to know all about him and all about the life he'd led since she'd been away. Some of it was going to be hard to hear, especially the talk about other women but it had to happen, she didn't want any secrets this time, they had to be completely open and honest with each other if they were going to make it as a couple.

When they arrived at the hospital, Josh called his dad to let him know that he could leave and that he'd meet him outside for a quick chat. Shannon went up to Caitlin's room while he waited outside for his father to show up, he wanted him to know what was going on, he wasn't going to keep this a secret from him, not that he could when Shannon and Caitlin's belongings were sitting in boxes at their house.

Josh was sitting outside the hospital for ten minutes before his father came out of the revolving doors, lighting up a cigarette as soon as he got outside.

'Shannon looks happy this morning, I wonder what's put such a smile on her face? Actually, do I even wanna fucking know what's put a smile on her face?' Phil smirked, as soon as he'd seen Shannon enter Caitlin's room beaming from ear to ear he'd guessed that something might have happened between her and Josh.

'It's not what you're thinking dad, we didn't go THAT far, we just…we just told each other how we felt and we're gonna try and make a go of it again,' Josh smiled as his father took a short drag off his cigarette.

'Does her mom know yet?' Phil asked, Julia was going to hit the fucking roof when she found out about this.

'No and she's not gonna know, she kicked Shannon and Caitlin out yesterday, they're coming to live with us, Julia is out of our lives for good now, I went to see her yesterday and she knows where she stands,' Josh replied, his anger bubbled inside him again when he thought about her mom and all the bullshit she'd put Shannon through over the years.

'Jesus Christ what a fucking bitch! I knew she was nasty but even I didn't think she'd be capable of sinking as fucking low as that, I might go round there myself..'

'No dad, just let her rot, she's not important anymore. The only thing that matters now is getting Caitlin home and Shannon and I making a life together, I just hope that you're okay with everything. I mean, even if you're not I'm not gonna change my mind but your approval would mean a lot you know,' Josh said as he stared at his father who didn't give anything away.

'If you'd said all this when we first got here I would've hit the fucking roof but not now. She's a good mom, Caitlin adores her and I actually think she'll be good for you. It's time you settled down and stayed away from some of the nasty fucking women that you've been fucking around with, you might wanna get yourself checked out before you do anything with her though, some of those women looked like they'd been around the block more than a few times…'

'Dad, I'm fine and Shannon and I aren't gonna be going that far for a while, we're taking this slow, we've got a lot to catch up on, sex is the last thing on my mind right now believe it or not,' he was lying, of course sex was on his mind but he wasn't going to push Shannon into doing it because he knew she wasn't ready to take that step yet, he would wait for as long as he needed to for her.

'I don't believe that for a fucking second but I believe that you love her and she loves you too. I'm proud of you son, really fucking proud,' Phil patted Josh on the back as his son looked at him, confused by what he'd just said.

'Why are you proud of me?' Josh asked.

'You find out you have a ten year old daughter, fly out here right away and donate your bone marrow to her and you're great with her, really fucking great son. She talked about you so much last night, you make a great dad you know that right? And I think you'll make a great husband too, at some point, I don't wanna have to pay for a fucking wedding yet so keep taking things slow okay?' Phil chuckled.

'Thanks dad, that means a lot, it really fucking does,' Josh hugged his father without thinking about it. His approval and praise meant so much to him, he didn't care if people saw them hugging because it felt like the right thing to do even if it wasn't considered 'macho' for two men to hug.

'Alright, alright, let me go would ya? I need to get some sleep, I have a date later,' Phil pulled away after a couple of minutes.

'A date? With who?' Josh asked as his father smirked at him.

'I got talking to one of the nurses here last night, if I behave I might get to play doctor later,' Phil winked before he began to walk away. 'Don't come back home too soon!'

Josh shook his head and laughed as he watched him walk away, only he could look after his granddaughter and score a date at the same time, cheeky fucker.

'Mommy!'

'Hi baby!'

Shannon ran into the room and pulled her daughter into a hug as she sat down on her bed. She'd not been away from her all that long but she had missed her little girl so much, she'd been so fucking stupid to walk away yesterday but today she was going to make up for it.

'Grandpa told me so many stories about fishing last night! And he showed me lots of pictures of the Cornelia Marie! He said I could go on it and he would let me sit in the wheelhouse with him! You can come too and daddy and grandpa's new girlfriend!' Caitlin squealed excitedly.

'Uh wait a minute, who is grandpa's new girlfriend?' Shannon asked, as far as she knew Phil wasn't seeing anyone unless he'd been keeping it very quiet.

'Oh the nurse that checks on me in the night, Rosa! He's going out with her tonight! They thought I was asleep but I wasn't, I heard him ask her out and she said yes! You and daddy could go with them and double date!'

'No honey because I am staying with you all day and all night, daddy and I might go out some other time,' Shannon smiled as she stroked Caitlin's face.

'So you want to go on a date with daddy? Where would you wanna go?' Shannon guessed that if she named a restaurant Caitlin would go right back to Josh and tell him where to book a table. To test out this theory, she decided to give it a try.

'Mmm well I would love to go to the new Thai place that's opened on Katella Avenue, I haven't had Thai food in a very long time,' she smiled as she could see Caitlin's face lighting up.

'What haven't you had in a very long time?' Josh's voice spoke from the doorway.

'Hi daddy! Uh, mommy, could I get a jug of water please, I'm really thirsty!' Caitlin smiled sweetly.

'Sure thing honey, won't be long!' Shannon smirked as she left the room knowing that Caitlin was about to share her information with Josh, she was a sneaky little thing.

'Daddy you need to make some calls!' Caitlin whispered excitedly as soon as Shannon had left the room.

'Why honey?' Josh looked confused as he sat down alongside her bed.

'Because mommy wants to go to the new Thai restaurant on Latella Avenue, this is your chance for a date!' Caitlin said with a beaming smile.

'What's the name of this place?' Josh asked.

'I don't know! I've done the hard work now you need to do the rest! Google it or something, duh!'

'Hey don't duh your dad! And anyway, both of us are staying with you tonight so there's no rush, we have plenty of time to go out on a date, the only date I want right now is with you,' Josh smiled as he leaned forward to plant a kiss on her head.

'Well you could at least buy her some flowers or something, she loves pink roses, she used to buy some every week to put in the house. You do want her back don't you daddy?' Caitlin asked.

'Of course I do honey and trust me, we'll get there okay? It's just gonna take a little time and patience so relax and let me handle it,' Josh smiled.

'Alright but you better not mess this up, I'm trusting you on this,' Caitlin folded her arms and gave him a serious look which almost made Josh tell her what had happened last night.

'Don't worry honey, I've got it covered, I promise you.'