ZADR

ZADR? Or DAZR?
By Raven
Rating: M
Warnings: romance and a wee bit of violence
Pairing: ZADR
Disclaimer: Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, but this lovely ZADR belongs to me
Summary: Hi Skool is hell, but not everyone sees it that way. Can two long time enemies become the closest of comapnions? Only one way to find out. -ZADR-

CHAPTER 3

Zim had moved to the couch and started watching the TV after an hour. He was eating a fresh bag of chips and drinking a new can of soda. The stuff he had dropped earlier had been cleaned up and thrown away.

There was a mindless cartoon on. Something about a Grim Reaper getting corralled into being some stupid boy and this evil girl's best friend forever. It was really weird, but that didn't matter. At least he didn't have to think about it to understand it. The boy reminded him of GIR the girl of himself. If only he had an underworld demigod at his beck and call… He might have to invest in one of those. They seemed handy.

Just then, the transmission light flashed on. He hit a button on the remote to bring the communications screen up over his cartoon. Dib was calling from his cell. He hit another button. "What is it, Dib?" He sounded annoyed. And in truth, he was. Dib had left him an awkward state, after all. And he was interrupting his mindless TV time too.

"Hey Zim. I was wondering if you wanted me to come back over…" He sounded a little anxious.

Zim shrugged his shoulders before he realized it wasn't a video feed. "What ever… I could just as easily see you tomorrow."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. "Zim? Are you okay? Did anything I say bother you?" Dib asked.

"Hmmm? No, not exactly…" Zim told him. In fact, none of it had bothered him. It was quite the contrary. It elated him! "Why do you ask?"

"You sound a little weird…" Dib told him.

"One, I'm on the phone and two, I'm a little tired. But you can come over it you want. You really should just go to bed though. You are sick, after all."

"I feel a lot better, thank you!" Dib retorted. "I'll just stop by for a second. I'm outside your house anyway."

Zim perked up as the call ended. Dib was where?! He tried to straighten up as much as he could and turned the TV onto something more grown-up and educational. He sat back down on the couch and attempted to look relaxed and interested in what was on the TV.

The door opened a minute later. Dib hadn't even bothered to knock.

Zim's brow furrowed. "I'll have you know it's very rude to barge in-"

Dib cut him off with a glance.

Zim melted in his seat, unable to say more. For some reason, Dib looked very sexy and he couldn't say why…

"Yes, yes. Rude and all aside, I came to say something…"

Zim nodded, hanging on every word.

"And I can't remember what it was."

Zim fell out of his seat and crashed onto the floor. He sat up sputtering. "How dare you! You barge into my base with something to say and forget it?!"

"Couldn't help it, lover-boy," Dib responded, walking himself over to the couch and having a seat.

Zim got up and dusted himself off, looking offended. "And you didn't even help me up. Some friend you are…" He plopped down next to him, but not very close. "You're so mean to me. I can't believe I love you."

Dib rolled his eyes. "What ever, space boy." He glanced at the TV. "So what are you watching?"

"Something about unicorns and a candy mountain."

"That hardly looks like a fairy tale." He pointed at the TV. Some guy was talking almost lovingly about cave bats. "Looks more like a nightmare to me."

"Haven't you heard of sarcasm? Or do they not have that on Earth?" Zim retorted. "I knew perfectly well they were talking about bats. Disgusting creatures, really. Rats with wings…"

"I'll agree with you on that," Dib mumbled.

"You agree with very little I say," Zim reminded him.

"Oh yes, that's right! I came to tell you that you are perfect," Dib said.

"Oh not that bull shit again…" the Irken muttered. "You can't honestly think that."

"Can so. Watch me." He smirked at the other. "You're perfect. I believe it. End of story."

"A. I am not perfect. B. You went to the Crazy House for Boys for a reason. And C. I am Zim, I am not perfect," Zim retorted.

"You said you weren't perfect twice, and I don't believe you," Dib responded with a poke to the Irken's chest. "Besides, I was having horrible nightmare visions when they sent me there. You were there too."

"Ah yes… What a fond memory… You still got sent to the loony-bin, Dib-nut."

Dib scowled. "If I'd had my way…" he started, but stopped himself. "Enough dredging up the past! It gets us no where!"

"It proves that I'm right and you're wrong," Zim pointed out.

"Good point."

Zim buffed his imaginary nails on his shirt. "Yeah, sure. You knew I was right all along!"

Dib snorted. "You aren't right about everything, you know, lover boy. You can be terribly wrong. Like the failure thing."

"That point aside, what else have I ever been wrong about?" Zim demanded.

Dib considered telling him for a minute, then decided against it. "I'll let you suffer a bit first… Prove to me that you love me and then I'll tell you what you are wrong about."

"Prove? Zim does not have to prove his love, Dib-face! Even if he is not believed!" he shouted, stabbing a finger in the boys direction.

"Yes you do," Dib said smirking. "Prove your love, Zim."

Zim tensed and then shrank back. "How shall Zim probe his love for you?" He was timid and quiet, a mood so unlike his normal state. "How will I show you I care?" he asked.

Dib grinned. "Come here, Zim." He beckoned him forward. "Come to me."

The Irken sidled over and sat in his lap. "What do you want?" he asked. It was then that his self-loathing kicked in. How could he be sinking so low for a human? One of the race he was trying to conquer? But this one was different… Very different… He should've been Irken himself. Maybe it wasn't so bad of him…

Dib smirked. "I want you to do exactly as I say. When I ask you a question you answer. When I tell you do something, you do it. Simple as that."

His lekku leaned forward, seeking the other's skin. He looked at him as innocently as he could, but all kinds of dirty thoughts were running through his head at what Dib could make him do. "What do you want me to do, my Diblet?" he asked, stroking Dib's chest affectionately. "What will make you happy?"

Dib seemed to lean into the touch, looking happy already. "Tell me something about yourself. Tell me about the Irkens."

"What do you want to know?" Zim asked, moving to straddle the boy so he could touch more.

"I don't know. Anything. Tell me about how a Tallest is selected. How long they rule. Why they have so much power," Dib prompted. "Tell me about them…"

"Hmm…" Zim said thoughtfully, tapping his lip with a sharp finger for a moment. "Well, the Tallest are selected through a height measurement process. The Control Brain selects a group of the Tallest Irkens and has them measured up to the nearest millionth of a centimeter, the tallest of which becomes Tallest. The Control Brain monitors each Irken's growth and when someone taller arises, the current Tallest is replaced. A Tallest lasts only as long as they are the tallest Irken. On Irk, height means brains. The Taller you are, the smarter you are. That's why they have so much power."

Dib had places his hands on Zim's legs during this speech and now he was drawing patters on the leather-like material. "Then why are there two right now?"

"Tallest Red and Tallest Purple are the same exact height. That's why," Zim explained. "Although, the last time I saw them, Purple looked a little taller. I think they shut down the Control Brain's height function… Because I might be as tall as they are now."

"That would be interesting. Tallest Zim…" Dib mumbled. "It has a nice ring."

Zim nodded. "Yes… Yes, it does… Hmm… When I take over Earth I shall have you Earthlings call me Tallest Zim… Yes…" he babbled. "And you shall call you Tallest Dib. For you are tall and smart! And they are not. Well, maybe they're taller… But they are not smarter."

"Continue the praise. It makes Dib happy!" the human said.

Zim frowned at this. "But Zim is the amazing one. No one surpasses Zim!"

"Yes, yes, as we all know. But you will praise me to prove your love," Dib commanded.

The Irken let out a sigh. This was demeaning. Why did he love this Earth filth again? "Fine." He changed positions again so that he was laying in the other's lap. "Dib is amazing. He is oh-so-very-powerful and awesome-"

"Be serious, Zim."

He sighed again. "Fine!" He looked away from him, but he was toying with the other's jacket. "You're smart. No one can outsmart you – except me, sometimes. You may be weird, creepy, crazy, strange, annoying, queer, insane, and odd, but you're fun to be around. You're handsome in you're strange little human ways; sometimes sexy without meaning to be. Zim is attracted to you; doesn't that say something, Diblet?" He looked back up at him, blushing lightly. "And Zim loves you. That in itself should be praise enough."

Dib was blushing and the smirk had faded away into nothing. He was expressionless in other words. "Zim…" he mumbled.

The alien reached up and cupped his cheek. "Such a cute human…" Zim murmured. "Such a nice human…"

Dib's eyes closed. "No one's ever told me anything like that before," he admitted. "In fact, no one's ever told me they loved me either."

"Not even your father? Your sister? What about your mother?"

Dib tensed up at the final question. "I can't remember my mother," he told the other. "She probably would've said it daily. My father has never said the word. And Gaz… She can't love. It's impossible for her."

Zim nodded and moved his hand away only to grab one of the boy's to play with.

"Has anyone ever told you they loved you?" Dib asked.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I want to know if you've loved anyone before me," Dib replied, blushing darkly, eyes opening again.

"Do you know how old I am?" Zim asked, but the other shook his head. "I'm almost fifty years old," he informed him, "In Earth years at least. I'm hundreds in Irken years." He paused for a moment. "The point is, plenty of organisms have told me they loved me over the years, but I never loved a single one of them back. And now that I'm in love, I'm in their shoes. Feels a little awkward… Like I'm bowling or something…"

Dib nodded and didn't say anything else about it. "You're being honest with me," he commented.

Zim nodded. "Honesty would make you happy, I figured. Some how I thought it would make you love me." He patted Dib's hand. "Yes, somehow it will prove I love you."

Dib smiled, nodded, and stayed quiet. "You're a good alien."

Zim flushed. "I am not. I'm perfectly evil and you know it."

"Right," Dib said and gave his hand a squeeze. He looked at his watch. "As much as I'd like to stay here and have you sing praise at me and tell tales of the Old World, I still have homework to do and it's getting late."

Zim didn't budge. "You're lap is so comfortable!" Zim said, snuggling into his knee. "You know you want to stay."

"Yes, yes I do. But homework beckons. You should work on your project. Wait, that reminds me… Why did you take biology any way? I thought you only like the physical sciences."

"Hmm? Oh that? I took it because I wanted to know what you found so interesting about it. And I found out you were going to TA for it…"

"Silly Irken," Dib said. He paused for a minute and looked unsure.

"What's wrong, Dib?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Nothing, lover-boy," he said with a smile. "Now get off of Dib so he can leave."

"What if Zim doesn't want to?" A sly grin formed on his lips.

"What are your demands?" Dib ventured.

The Irken pulled one hand away from Dib's. A finger trailed up his front until it stopped on his pale green cheek. "Kiss Zim. Right here." He poked the spot as a sign.

Dib let out a frustrated noise and looked disgruntled.

"Do it or I'll never leave the comfort of you lap," the alien told him, pouting slightly.

"Menace. Deviant. Bugger." The string of insults left in an only-slightly begrudging fashion. The boy was smiling even. "I suppose I owe you as much seeing as you've been so honest today." Dib leaned down and oh-so-gently planted a soft kiss on the Irken's cheek.

Zim squeemed in happiness and almost begged for more. It burnt just slightly, but it felt good because there was so little. At least human saliva was mostly water and not all water. He didn't think him. He didn't see nor feel the need to. He sat up and smiled giddily at the blushing human. "Now you can go do your little Dibby things!"

Dib got up and stretched. "Okay then. Tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow."

A/N: Okay, I want to thank everyone that's fav'd this and for alllll the reviews!! Now I'm going to have to actually work on it... :P And for those that mentioned this isn't very M-rated, it's rated that way for later chapters. ;3 For now, ENJOY!