Chapter 8

It was midnight, hushed and calm, a faint glow haloed the moon and the stars were flickering like diamonds scattered on the indigo blanket of the sky.

Winter had been cruel with the chill it was bringing and Kenshin had set the old-fashioned heater in his hotel room to its highest possible temperature. He watched as it spewed hot air like some mythical dragon often found in fairy tales he could barely remember.

Two hours earlier, he had been trying to get some sleep but his efforts all proved to be futile. He had tossed and turned innumerable times and had snuggled further into his sheets in deep hopes that the elusive rest would ultimately come; unfortunately, it did not.

Rolling on his side and groping for the switch, he turned the lamp on and watched as it instantly cast a soft, orange glow against the darkened room. His amber eyes roamed around, a thought came to his mind and his face broke into a smile that lingered with delight he hadn't felt for a while.

Kenshin thought of Kaoru. She was his light. They had met barely three months ago under the bitterest and saddest circumstances that had thrown him into the deepest chasm of hatred and hurt where he thought nobody could ever reach him. But she came for she, too, was thrown into that deep abyss he was in. And though she was wounded as much as he was, Kaoru shed her light and dispelled the darkness that has shattered everything he had ever believed in. Through Kaoru, he could see again. He could see that pain becomes lighter if it was shared, that time held a promise of healing, and that life never ran out of new beginnings.

He reached for the switch and turned the lamp off and then again on.

Kenshin let out a long breath, smiled, this time with contentment, and perhaps, hope for what the future may hold not just for him but for the two of them.

Sitting up, he reached for his phone and dialed a number. The other line rang thrice and Kenshin could not remember the last time he had felt this eager.

"Hello?"

Kaoru mumbled an incoherent protest as she tossed her sheets and sat up, a weary look on her face. Her azure eyes flicked automatically to the wall clock and she noted that she had been battling for sleep for almost one and a half hours now. With a long yawn, Kaoru reached for the remote control and turned the television on.

She flipped through the channels quickly and indifferently. Eventually, she settled for a movie about a mentally challenged father who was on a legal battle for the custody of his eight-year old daughter.

For the first few minutes, Kaoru watched with little curiosity. However, her mind began wandering - Kaoru was not wholly attentive and the movie passed in a haze of indistinct scenes and dialogues.

She was thinking of auburn hair tied in a high ponytail that swayed gently with the wind, of a deep, tender voice that emanated sincerity and kindness, of strong arms that enveloped her in safety and warmth, and of amber eyes that flashed with gladness and love. Her mind had been full of thoughts of him and she wondered when and hoped about the next time that she would see him again. She hoped with eagerness and longing only a loving heart could hope with.

Reclining, Kaoru smiled to herself, completely oblivious to the television in front her and the joyful music playing in the movie's background. She felt light, like some silly teenager thinking about her first love or her first date. Kaoru knew she felt it all before and yet she was feeling it as if it was for the first time, as if it was all new to her. This man had evoked in her feelings that she had long abandoned, memories she had long forgotten and a part of herself she thought she had lost along the way. She closed her eyes, relished the wondrous feelings, and had never felt so young before.

Just then, her mobile phone vibrated, and destroyed her train of cherished thoughts. Quite unwilling, she reached for her phone and answered the unwelcome call.

"Hello?"

"I knew it. I knew you were still awake," the voiced that seeped from the other line struck a string of familiarity in her heart. Kaoru sat up with a renewed sense of interest.

It was Kenshin.

"How did you find out?"

"They say that when you can't sleep, someone is almost certainly thinking of you."

"I wonder who's thinking of me at this late hour of the night," Kaoru said in a teasing tone.

There was silence from the other line and she heard Kenshin drew in a long, heavy breath.

"All right, all right," he said in a defeated manner. "I apologize. I've been thinking about you."

"Perhaps you can do something to make up for my lost sleep. It's your fault after all."

"Let's see," a quick pause and then, "Shall I sing you a lullaby?"

Kaoru was a little surprised with his suggestion but nonetheless welcomed it and agreed, "Yes, please."

"I'm warning you I have a terrible voice."

"You can't be that bad."

Kenshin cleared his throat twice and paused again, "Okay, here goes."

He began humming a tune he knew from his childhood. Rhythmically, he tapped his fingers and though he knew that he wasn't an exceptionally good singer, he enjoyed his own song and sang with the deepest sincerity and softness he could ever muster.

Kaoru closed her eyes, his voice though deep held tenderness and warmth that seemed to shroud her in peace only he was capable of giving. She smiled and relished the calm of the moment and the closeness of his voice.

Kenshin finished with a sustaining note and waited for a while before speaking again.

"I told you it would be bad."

"That's a lie. It was beautiful," she said slowly in a hushed, contemplative voice, "Thank you."

"Am I forgiven?"

"I'll think about it."

Kenshin chuckled. "You know what, I can't sleep either."

"Yeah?"

"Which means that someone might probably be thinking of me too?"

Kaoru laughed under her breath and shook her head, "I'm not guilty."

"I never said you were," he tried hard to hide the amusement in his voice, but failed.

There was silence from the other line and Kenshin chuckled again. Kaoru pouted.

"I'm not guilty you know, but if you want I'll sing you a lullaby too."

"No, I have something better in mind," Kenshin said, a small smile playing in his lips, "I want you to meet me outside. Now."

Right after the last word, Kenshin hung up immediately, cutting whatever she may say for a protest. Smirking a little, he relished the authority of his command and the lack of objection from Kaoru or more correctly, her inability to object. Quickly, he got up, changed into a new set of clothes, retrieved his keys, and went outside.

How dare he! Kaoru thought as she listened to the monotonous beeping of his line that went dead with a click. She stared at her phone, he didn't have to do that, it wasn't as if she was going to protest. After all, she had longed to see him again.

A fog hung low in the profoundly deserted and hushed streets of the small town, but neither Kenshin nor Kaoru seemed to care. It was midnight and they were walking along the walkway where the path had not been copiously sheeted by the snow, without any particular destination at all.

Kenshin snuck a peek in Kaoru's direction, noted that she was wearing her hair down, and realized how breathtakingly pretty she looked under the soft glow of the street lamps. Her eyes were particularly alive with gladness.

He took her hand into his and held it tightly. Kaoru reacted by interlacing her fingers with his. The two looked at each other and smiled, unaware and uncaring of anything else.

Walking on, they reached a park and found a playground. Kaoru suggested that they try the swing and, without waiting for Kenshin's response, gently pulled him towards it.

Kaoru dusted the seat of the swing and plopped down with a child's excitement. She had started swinging slightly when she noticed Kenshin's expectant and steady stare at her.

"What?" She turned towards him and inquired innocently.

Kenshin was sitting to the swing next to her, looking at her with eyes that flashed with playfulness and teasing.

"Aren't you supposed to be pushing my swing?" he said in a light, mocking tone, "It is the retribution I demand for thinking about me too hard and not letting me sleep."

"I told you I was not thinking of you."

"Then who are you thinking of?"

She looked at him blankly and searched desperately for something coherent to say or a way out.

"Now, push my swing," he added, seeing the helpless look on her face and without waiting for a response.

Kaoru glared at him and earned a chuckle in return. With a sigh of defeat and reluctance, she stood up and pushed his swing.

Kenshin smiled, enjoying the swing or more correctly the fairly annoyed and envious expression that was drawn upon Kaoru's face.

"Push, push," he commanded lightheartedly, realizing how pleasurable it was to tease her even more.

After a while, Kaoru stopped and realized how utterly unjust he was to her. Crossing her arms and pouting like a child deprived of her candy, Kaoru sat on the vacant swing and glared at him.

"Did I tell you to stop?"

She frowned at him and looked away.

Kenshin laughed under his breath and realized that he had done enough- the fun was over. He stood up and paced towards her. He reached for her hand but she shrugged him away.

"Now, now, little Kaoru's annoyed," he said in a singsong tune, "What do you have me do, shall I sing you another song?"

No reply.

"How about I treat you to a cup of hot chocolate and croissant?"

No reply.

Kenshin let out a long, heavy breath and studied her face. The same expression of annoyance on her face was still there. A realization hit him and he was certain.

"Or shall I push your swing?"

Her face swiftly turned towards him and lit up in a pleasant way. Kaoru bit her lip and smiled before nodding her head excitedly in consent.

He laughed under his breath and started pushing her swing. Kaoru laughed, she definitely had a way of getting what she wanted.

"You're an extortionist."

An hour later, the two found themselves sitting face to face across the coffee table in Kenshin's hotel room, eating some doughnuts and hot chocolate they had purchased from a 24-hour bakery on their way back to the hotel.

Kaoru busied herself among the strawberry doughnuts while Kenshin was contented enough in watching her.

She noticed his steady gaze and turned up towards him with an innocent, mocking look on her face, "Is it your first time seeing someone eat?"

"So enthusiastically? Yes."

Kaoru chuckled and looked at him, realizing that he hadn't touched any of the doughnuts at all, "Don't you want one?"

He shook his head slowly and smiled. She regarded his response with a consenting nod and continued munching.

Kenshin leaned back in his chair and studied her again. He felt a yearning he thought he could never feel again, the yearning to keep her not just near but as close to him as possible, to see her smile and be the reason behind it. He yearned for her and everything about her.

Kaoru looked up at him and their eyes met. Kenshin bared the adoration in his eyes, and as he drowned in her gaze, he knew, he was definite…he had fallen in love again.

He stood up, moved in her direction, and knelt down in front of her. He wiped some the confectioner's sugar that was on the corners of her mouth and she smiled at the gesture.

Kenshin continued looking at her with eyes that were burning with affection and resolve. He tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and caressed her soft cheek so slowly, memorizing every inch of her face by the touch of his thumb. Kaoru closed her eyes and relished his tender touch.

Just then, a soft knocking interrupted both of them.

The room was perfectly hushed and yet Kenshin and Kaoru's hearts lurched wildly in their chests. Kenshin stood up from where he was kneeling and waited for the sound to drift in the air again.

He was not disappointed. A knock came and evoked a fear he didn't knew was there.

"Who is it?" He asked in the calmest voice he could ever muster. He was looking at Kaoru looking at the door and holding a hand against her chest, afraid and uneasy.

"Son, it's your father-in-law."

This time, Kenshin avoided Kaoru's gaze, frightened that what he might see in them was something he hadn't prepared himself for. Gathering his strength, he cleared his throat and spoke again.

"All right. I'll be there in a moment."

Kaoru had to hide and both of them knew the urgency the situation called for.

Quickly and quietly, Kenshin began clearing Kaoru's things away. He retrieved her shoes at the doormat, jacket from the coat-hanger and handed them carefully to her. Gently, he took her hand and ushered her noiselessly into the bathroom. Kaoru's eyes held apprehension and guilt but she didn't let him see it as he looked at her one last time before finally closing the bathroom door in the most careful and soundless manner.

Drawing out a long, burdened breath, Kenshin reluctantly opened the door and forced a smile on his face. Outside, he found Mr. Genzai with his ever gentle features and presence.

"Hello, son. I hope I did not disturb you."

"No, of course not," he started, quite uneasy and fearful that his voice might reveal the guilt he had just concealed, "Have you eaten yet? I was just on my way out."

"I am awfully hungry."

Kenshin nodded and excused himself for a moment to retrieve his keys. In a minute, he found himself and Mr. Genzai in front of the double doors of the hotel. He abruptly halted when a thought clicked in his mind.

Mr. Genzai noticed his trouble and turned towards him, "Is something wrong?"

"I think I forgot to lock my room," was the fastest excuse he could ever think of, "I'll go back and check it myself. Will you wait for me here?"

"Oh sure, go on."

Kenshin did not wait for the elevator anymore. He ran up the stairs with speed he was hiding a while ago. Instantly, he was in his room and he opened the bathroom door. Feeling weak and helpless, Kenshin caught her gaze.

Kaoru had not moved an inch; she stood perfectly still while cradling her things in her arms.

She looked up at him with expectant eyes that began glimmering because of the thin film of unshed tears. She was hurt by a painful realization that hit her when she was least prepared for it.

As their eyes met, he felt worthless. He couldn't protect her from the impact and the pain of the incident and he couldn't help her flee from the cruel reality.

He hid her just like some immoral, corrupted iniquity; just like an unpardonable wickedness that he would be doomed for if the world had proven its very existence.

The incident revealed facts neither of them was aware. Facts that revealed truths they never wanted to deal with. Truths that revealed a sin both of them were guilty of.

They were traitors: indefensible by all reason, wrong in every judgment and forbidden by any rule.

"I'm all right," Kaoru said in a low, broken voice. She said it, although both of them knew the falsehood of her words.

Slowly, Kenshin walked towards her and never let go of her gaze. He held her in his arms and hoped that it would be enough to take away the guilt and pain.

They were two people sharing a love that was wrong in everyone else's eyes and a love that could exist only in the hidden, secret spaces of their hearts.

They were in love…incorrectly in love.