DISCLAIMER: I own nothing I do own Vince's new outfit but I own nothing else

I was a reading through my own big book of fairytales and this one sprung at me like a bag of shells covered in brick. So see if it does the same to you oh and I had a chat with Leroy and he didn't want to talk in this, I had a whole monologue for him but he didn't want to do it. You want him to talk you take it up with him.

Vince's New Clothes

Once upon a time…

Leroy had come over to visit, which was the first time ever. When he walked through the shop door Howard well Howard didn't do anything because he hadn't seen Leroy in such a long time he didn't recognised him, he just kept reading his Global Explorer. Vince was straightening his hair at the time and when he saw him he burnt his ear.

"Leroy? Ow bloody hell, what you doing here? Why aren't you at the ice rink?" Vince asked, Howard glared at the figure in front of him as Leroy calmly replied it was his day off and he wanted to see what the famous shop was like "Oh right erm, well err here it is whaddya think?"

Vince seemed nervous because Leroy was like his style consultant if Leroy didn't like it no-one would except for Howard but then he's fashion blind. Howard, on the other banana, couldn't give a flying monkey what Leroy thought about him no sir he was The Jazz Maverick he didn't need some poncy air-head to tell him what to wear. While Howard was busy convincing himself that he didn't care about Leroy, Vince was showing Leroy around his wardrobe to which Leroy nodded at the appropriate moments.

Two hours later Vince went out for sweets, Leroy walked up to Howard a made a business proposition

"What yeah I know he has a lot of clothes and cares about them more than anything in the world but what am I supposed to do about it?" Howard said Leroy made his move

"A bet? What, about Vince? Why?... But I like his vanity it's funny to watch," Howard said remembering the time Vince wore a grey tracksuit on a dare; he had never seen him so ashamed. Leroy then explained his big plan Howard didn't quite get it

"So what you're saying is we fool Vince into wearing something completely embarrassing by telling him its high fashion," Leroy explained the final part of his big plan.

Howard gasped "he'd never buy that he'll only believe it if it's in cheek face or whatever the hell it is," Leroy pulled out a magazine called Cheek Bone with a model on it wearing nothing except his boxers and even they were skin colour.

"You're really gonna try this?" Leroy nodded "Well don't come crying to me when you've lost 50 euros because Vince won't go for it," Leroy stuck out his tongue and left the shop leaving his magazine and a clothes hanger with nothing on it except a note saying "From Leroy" in the "sacred" wardrobe

Vince walked in with a big half-empty paper bag and an even bigger Topshop bag.

"I thought you went shopping for sweets," Howard gawped

"I did I just got a bit distracted," Vince said "Where's Leroy?"

"He left..." Showtime "The ninja came in and delivered your boney cheek,"

"Alright!" He grabbed it and raced for the couch Howard followed him "Oh my god I was so not prepared for this I thought Superman knickers were coming in but look at this Howard the new Inviscloth worn only by the most stylish trendsetters it's genius and guess who the stylish trendsetter is in Camden," He had it open at a page with the model glaring at the camera wearing nothing except skin coloured y-fronts.

"You seriously don't believe it's real," Howard said Vince looked up at him

"Course its real otherwise why would Cheek Bone put it in?" Vince looked at him funny.

"Are you really that easily influenced?" Howard asked

"I don't know what that means" Vince looked at the ground

"What if cheek bone said that Jazz chic was the in thing what would you do then?" Howard knew full well of his allergy and was using this to try and get back his 50 euros. Unfortunately for him Vince was already under the influence of the Cheek Bone.

"Then I would die a stylish death," Vince smiled and went back to his magazine

"And stop being stupid you know what that means," Howard rustled Vince's hair

"ARGH! What you doing? I had it perfect!" Vince shouted at Howard. Howard snickered, Vince glared at him

"Twat," Howard mocked shock and Vince stormed out of the room.

Howard sighed and thought of something he could do, nothing really sprung to mind, he noticed the magazine out of the corner of his eye. He looked around to make sure no-one was looking and grabbed it to see what Leroy had put in. He had seen Vince read it enough times to know the proper etiquette for reading one of these, one does not breeze through it one pays close attention to every word every picture. As he was reading the magazine he noticed the small print WARNING: clothes may not exist. He was tempted to show Vince but he kind of wanted to see Vince walking around in these for some reason; for a laugh not in a sexual way or anything he quickly reassured himself. He went back to reading when

"Howard have a look at-" Vince barged into the room hair back in action, Howard threw the magazine across the room "What you doing to my magazine?"

"Nothing it err," Howard thought fast "looked better on the other side of the room and I err,"

"Whatever," Vince was to wrapped in his own concerns to notice Howard's blatant lies "have a look at what Leroy left me," he waved a coat hanger with a note around. Howard faked confusion

"What is it?"

"It's an Inviscloth," Vince rolled his eyes "you know the thing I was just showing you,"

"I can't see it," Howard said flatly Vince started getting frustrated

"You're not meant to! That's the whole point,"

"That's a pretty pathetic point,"

"You don't get it do you?" Vince said

"Alright then if it's so fantastic how do you put it on?" Vince looked stumped he stared at it for a minute or two

"Well you…. Or maybe you put your arm…no…err," Vince slammed the clothes hanger on the ground and slumped on the couch "I don't know," he finally said defeated "I don't really know if anything's on there I sort of just went along with the magazine," he looked up at Howard who was secretly cheering on the inside. Howard sat next to him "But I wanna be the most stylish you know,"

"Vince you are the most stylish person in Camden with or without the invisible suit," Howard was in an awkward position of should I put my hand on his shoulder or should I leave it. His mind was racing about making up his mind when Leroy walked through the door. Vince leaped three feet in the air and dashed over to him, Howard breathed a sigh of relief.

"Alright Leroy... hmm? Yeah I did see it err I don't think it's there," Vince admitted looking at the ground, Leroy looked at Howard who was doing a small victory dance. Leroy panicked "Yes Leroy I did see the magazine but… what instructions? In Cheek Bone? Prove it," Leroy took the magazine and flicked through it with Vince "OH right ok… well I don't think I want you to help me get dressed… oh well if knickers are being kept on then ok," They dashed off to Howard and Vince's bedroom with Cheek Bone and clothes in tow.