Karma Part 3
Finly stroked his lightsaber nervously as he sat cross-legged on the floor with the other Initiates outside of the Jedi Council chamber. He inhaled deeply, attempting to reach into the Force. "By the Creator, work", he mumbled to his newly constructed lightsaber as he attempted to make some sort of connection with the, so far, non-functioning weapon.
"It's still not working?" Sortie, the closest person Finly had to a true friend, leaned in with a whisper.
"Ummmmm….." Finly tried to find the words in response to the young Mon Calamari's question, but none were to be found.
"We're moments away from our Exhibition," Sortie reminded him of what he was fully aware. "Your future Master is on the other side of that door," Sortie whispered a little too loudly.
Finly found his lightsaber snatched from his lap by a pair of human hands. "Fin," Jared laughed, "You forgot the 'On' switch." Several other Initiates had gathered around with snickers.
"Jared, leave him alone," Lesa interjected. She and Jared were the top of this Initiate class and the clear leaders of the group. Jared gave one last smirk and tossed the smooth cylinder back to Finly. When he turned back to the others, she sat with Finly and Sortie showing Finly her saber and pointing to the button on hers. "He has a point though, where is your button?"
Finly shrugged the same way he had for weeks. "I did what the Force showed me. Huyang said it was not unheard of for a saber to not have a button. I have to activate it through the Force."
Lesa examined the Sullustan's saber again. "You remembered to put the crystal in, right?"
"Of course," Finly was tired of that question as well. He clearly heard the song from the crystal while they were in the cave. His meditations while he assembled the saber were the deepest he had ever experienced. Finly had taken the weapon apart and reassembled it at least a dozen times since, all with the same result, except the crystal's song was silent each time he took it apart. He had begun to question if the song in the cave had actually been from this crystal or another. Just his luck that he would have picked up a useless rock on the most important day of a Jedi youngling's life.
The Initiates' small talk was interrupted when Jedi Master Voudon entered the chamber followed closely by a young girl. Whispers erupted in the chamber. It was believed that Master Voudon would be one of the Masters selecting a Padawan today. Everyone thought he was already inside with the Council and the others potential Masters. Voudon approached the temple-guard standing at the entrance to the Council Chamber. "I must speak with the Jedi Council immediately."
The guard responded, "They are preparing to watch the Initiate Exhibition. "I'm afraid it must wait."
"I understand they are busy," Voudon insisted, "but this is an urgent matter."
"Very well," the guard relented. Voudon was a Master, after all.
"Wait here," Master Voudon addressed the girl and followed the guard into the main chamber. The door shut behind them. The girl was human, a couple of years older than most of the Initiates. She was not dressed in Jedi garb. Her hair was long, unkempt, flowing. She was clearly out of place and nervous as she hovered around the younglings.
Finly looked around at Lesa and Sortie. He knew what it was like to feel out of place. The other two Initiates rose when he did and approached the girl cautiously. "Are you Master Voudon's Padawan?" Finly whispered.
"A padawhat?" the girl raised an eyebrow, answering with a thick Outer Rim accent.
"Sooooo….you're not a Jedi?" Lesa spoke next.
The girl's nervousness returned. "I'm supposed to be…..I guess. That's why I'm here. You are all Jedi?"
"Of course," Sortie answered this time. "That's why we're here too."
An awkward silence followed. Not sure what else to say, Finly extended his hand. "I'm Finly."
"Myriam," the girl answered shaking hands with the Sullustan.
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When Myriam's eyes fluttered open from her meditation, the first thing she saw was early Coruscant sunlight refracting as it passed through the streams pouring out of the fountain. It immediately reminded her of the fountain at the old Zygerrian compound where she spent so much of her childhood with Evelyn. The streams of regret that had been with her in the months since bringing the slaves to the monastery overwhelmed her brief nostalgic joy. She sighed more than exhaled as she prepared to rise from her meditative position. She turned slowly, sensing that she was not alone. An elderly Chagrian female was standing a few feet behind her, obviously watching.
"Master….ah….Mother….Humindol, is it? I apologize if I am disturbing you," Myriam gathered the mat on which she had been sitting.
"No disturbance at all Jedi Myriam. And it's Sister. We are all equals here," the elderly woman assured her. "You have come to this place often in your stay with us. Are you alright, child?"
Myriam wanted to give a courtesy response to escape the unwanted inquiry, but something about the Sister's gaze would not allow it. "I'm working on it."
"You have stayed with us since shortly after the arrival of the others. We have not had an opportunity to speak. If there is something that you seek from us, besides overseeing the housing and retraining of guests perhaps I or the Maker could be of some assistance?" The old Chagrian kept pace with Myriam with a gentle smile as she exited the courtyard.
When Myriam left Numa and Iesha with the freed slaves, a Jedi liaison arranged for them to be housed at a monastery run by the Maker's Children. The Children were a religious order that worshiped the Creator of the universe. The Jedi and the Children did not see eye to eye on spiritual matters, but their dogma did not directly conflict. There had always been a shaky cooperation between the two sects. The monastery specialized in housing refugees, orphans, and others who had nowhere else to go. The Jedi felt that the Children were better suited to handle the large number of former slaves. The Jedi were good at bringing justice to the galaxy, but their follow-up in these matters was a bit lacking.
Myriam had chosen to stay with the girls. Although there were a handful of males, mostly young boys, among the freed slaves, Myriam had taken to referring the group as "the girls", if only in her own mind. Most of "the girls" had reluctantly warmed to her presence. Perhaps they sensed the kinship of experience. Perhaps they felt they had no choice. Which was not the sentiment that Myriam was after. Myriam had only been to the Jedi Temple twice since her return to Coruscant. Once to make her initial report to the Council, then a week later to have a private conversation with Master Yoda, although he contacted her regularly since then. It was highly unusual for a Jedi on Coruscant not to stay in the temple, but there was something about the place that seemed to repel her. She found peace here in the monastery. Myriam could not help, but grin. She thought of what little time Yoda, even as the ranking member of the Council spent on Coruscant. Where most of the elder Jedi spent the vast majority of their time there, Yoda always seemed to find a mission or somewhere else to be needed. This had been true during her training. Perhaps she merely felt needed here.
Myriam spent most her time here with the girls. She joined them at meals and sat in on some classes. For the younger girls, the classes were general education courses. For the older girls, the classes included job training and counselling sessions. The girls were invited, but not required to attend religious services. The Children were not proselytizers, but freely shared their devotion to the Maker when the opportunity arose. When Myriam was not with the girls, she was meditating by the fountain.
"You will join us for breakfast, of course?" Sister Humindol broke the silence.
Myriam raised an eyebrow. She nearly always ate with the girls but had rarely seen the Sister there. "I usually do."
"I was also hoping that perhaps you would join us for this morning's Homily after," Humindol stated more than invited.
"Perhaps," Myriam reluctantly offered. "Is there a special event this morning?"
Sister Humindol mused, "No, not really, but you are our guest. We just want you to take full advantage of your time here."
"I apologize if I have overstayed my welcome," Myriam bowed her head respectfully.
"Not at all," the Humindol replied. "However, it is unusual for a Jedi to spend time here. We were under the impression that you thought us fanatical."
"Not at all," Myriam denied, knowing the Sister's statement was partially true. "Perhaps some Jedi feel that way, but I have found my time here quite refreshing. Perhaps your order and the Jedi could mutually benefit from more consistent interaction."
"There are those among us who desire exactly that," Humindol continued. "But I do not believe that to be your mission. You seem to have some affinity for these that have been set free."
Myriam nodded. "I was once very much like them."
Humindol gave Myriam a curious glance. "So you were older when you joined the Jedi Order? I was also under the impression that was rare as well."
"Very rare," Myriam muttered in agreement as they entered the dining hall.
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The Jedi Council was not initially receptive of Voudon's interruption of the Exhibition; however he convinced them of the importance of his visit. The Exhibition was postponed for one day. Since the entire Council was present, Myriam was immediately brought in for testing.
"A ship," Myriam muttered with her eyes closed, clearly seeing the images in her mind. "Just clear your mind and tell them what you see." Had been Voudon's only advice to her before he left the room. Myriam had used a similar skill as one of her "magic tricks". She also found that she could similarly "read" people to know when they were lying, but she had not tried either of these "tricks" with people who knew what she was doing.
The little green creature holding the datapad was silent as the next image in her mind changed. "A cup."
"A ship….a speeder," Myriam continued. When no more images came, she opened her eyes. The small green creature nodded to an even older-looking blue-skinned creature.
"How do you feel?" the old blue creature asked.
"Lost," Myriam answered, before she could think, surprised as anyone that the word had come out of her mouth.
"Thank you, young Myriam," the blue-skin replied warmly. "We will speak with Master Voudon again before rendering our decision."
Myriam was unsure what to do next. Her shoulder twitched as though she would turn, but she paused, "So should I leave?"
Master Voudon re-entered the chamber and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Wait for me outside. I'll be out momentarily."
When Myriam was gone, Oldofo inquired. "Master Voudon, why did you bring this child before us?"
The question was unexpected. "Surely, you can sense the Force in her. She needs the guidance that the Jedi can provide."
"The girl is quite old, Master Voudon. Surely you can see how unusual this situation is," Master Oo'looku spoke.
"Of course," Voudon agreed, "but is that not all the more reason for us to bring her into our fold?"
"Strong in her the Force is," Yoda agreed, "but the Darkside clouds her path as well."
"I concur, but again, this is all the more reason for us to guide her down the path of light. If she returns to the streets and falls in with the Black Sun….or worse, she will have no protection from the allure of the Darkness."
"Intend to make her a Sentinel, you do?" Yoda clarified.
Voudon shrugged. "Should she come under my wing, and I would not have been the one to find her had that not been my intention, I will allow her to choose her path in the Force. However, the Sentinel path seems like a logical fit for someone with her experience."
Oldofo glanced around the Council circle. "We shall not rush into this decision. We will take a day or two and make our decision after tomorrow's Exhibition. We trust you will be there?" The question was directed at Voudon, but before he could respond, Oldofo continued. "Perhaps you will notice another potential Padawan, and your attitude may change."
Voudon nodded, seeing the logic of the argument. He knew that a Jedi always benefits from the wider view and at least give the appearance of going along with the Council's decisions. "Of course, may Myriam join us?"
Most of the Council frowned in disagreement. The Exhibition was a special time set aside for potential Padawans and their Masters. Although it was not unheard of to allow outside visitors, rarely had potential Initiates been allowed to witness the Exhibition before their own time. "Unusual circumstances these are," Yoda spoke. "If a Jedi the girl is destined to become, as much about us as she can, she should learn. Permit her presence we will."
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Not only did Myriam attend the morning Homily, but Sister Humindol invited her to sit with her in the front of the small sanctuary. One of the younger Brothers delivered the message. He preached about how finding knowledge of the Creator was like coming home. It was a good message and one that Myriam hoped the girls who attended would take to heart, but she herself, found her mind wandering. Her eyes were the first to wander and they found the symbol of the Maker which was prominently displayed on the wall behind the speaker. Out of habit, she reached up to thumb the symbol that normally hung on a chain around her neck. Not finding the necklace, she reminded herself that it now hung around Numa's neck. Myriam passed the necklace along to Numa as a symbol of sisterhood, the way Evelyn had once passed it to her. This was another reminder that she was not at "home".
Her mind wandered back to the idea of "home". These thoughts were in part, driven by her current aversion to the Jedi Temple. Although there were aspects of the Temple that she remembered fondly, mostly centred around her time with Master Yoda, the place never really felt like "home". Although she had the occasional nostalgic memory of Evelyn and the other girls that she grew up with, she certainly never thought of her time in the Zygerrian Network as "home". She had no real memories of her family or original home-life, just the occasional passing image or sensation, surely it had not been a pleasant existence. She thought of Draxil. Certainly, she felt like she belonged there. For the first time in a while, she felt a stirring of missing out. She wondered what had transpired on the planet in her absence. Then she thought of Numa and her other teammates. A fondness arose in her at memories of her team together on Syllian. Even Hannibal was more of an annoying brother, than a disturbance. Perhaps if she ever had a home, it was with her teammates on Syllian.
Then, she thought of Tristan. Under the influence of the Horlian gas, she had hallucinated an entire life, just the two of them, travelling the galaxy together, bringing justice to places that were in need of it. But was it Tristan that she longed for or just the deep sense of belonging that the gas had provided? Why did she not have this longing for life with her fellow Jedi, at least not those at the Temple?
"This is Bantha poodoo!" A loud cry came from the back of the sanctuary. Myriam and most of the gathered assembly turned to see the interruption. Greian, one of the oldest of "the girls" was moving out of one of the back rows, pulling her younger brother. They were followed by a small group of her brother's friends, whom Greian had taken under her wing.
Greian was one of the leaders among the girls and had proven one of the hardest to reach. This was not her first outburst. As a slave, she had risen in rank to become a Trustee, not quite an Overseer, but someone tasked with keeping an eye on the others. Myriam found this girl both repulsive and fascinating, perhaps seeing a bit of herself in the other. Rumor had it, that Greian had been sneaking out of the monastery on some nights and venturing into Coruscant's underworld, hoping to reconnect with the life that Myriam and the Jedi had forced her to leave behind.
Myriam slipped out of her seat to follow the exiting girls as the Brother returned to his message. Outside the sanctuary, Greian chastised the children who followed her. "You all should know better. These people are only taking advantage of you."
"No one here is manipulating anyone," Myriam interrupted.
Greian shot Myriam a warning glance. "And she is the worst of all."
"Myriam's nice," her brother came to the Jedi's defence. "She's one of us…."
"She's nothing like us," Greian spat back. "You stay away from her." She turned back to Myriam. "And you stay away from my brother." With that, she stormed off. The others either followed or returned to their own quarters.
Myriam sighed in frustration. "One of the hardest lessons to learn here, is that not everyone wants our help." Sister Humindol's voice came from behind Myriam. "That child does yet understand just how lost she is. No one can help her until she learns that lesson."
Again, Myriam was reminded of herself. "And yet, that is the person who needs our help the most."
"Perhaps," Humindol agreed. "But how do we get her to realize that?"
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"How feel you?" Yoda's image simmered in Myriam's temporary quarters.
"Lost," Myriam answered, before she could think, surprised that the word had come out of her mouth.
Yoda's understanding eyes seemed to pierce her. She sensed both his understanding and his sadness at her response. "Much you have gone through recently. Hard on you, these events have been. Hard your life was before you came to us. Reminded of this we both are."
"Yes Master, I….. I don't know what to do with myself now," Myriam was being more honest with her former Master than she had even been with herself for some time.
Yoda sighed, almost reluctant to ask his next question. "Wish to remain a Jedi, do you?" His small eyes seemed to pierce her body, staring directly into her soul.
"I….." Myriam hoped for an interruption, but when none came, she knew that Yoda would wait for days for her response. "I don't know how to answer that just yet, Master," Myriam conceded.
"Unfortunate, but understandable this is. Patient I am and patient the Council is, but questions are rising. Questions than soon an answer must have," Yoda paused to let the words sink in. "A commitment to the Jedi Order, you have made. Lightly, this cannot be broken."
"I do understand that Master. And I have no desire to break my oath, but I have questions…." Myriam paused, not completely sure about what was causing her doubts. She closed her eyes with a sigh. "I have doubts about the Council's handling of the situation. Sure, these girls are free, and I am pleased that they are being provided for, but to create a vacuum in the slave trade, knowing that it will be filled by the likes of Zorba that Hutt….." Myriam could not find the words to finish her thought.
Yoda sighed again in understanding. "Disagree with you, I do not," Yoda confessed. "More the politics of the Republic this is, than the will of the Jedi Council."
"And I do understand that," Myriam admitted, "and the Force knows we have made similar deals since our team was sent into the Outer Rim, but never with…."
"Slavers," Yoda completed the thought. "Spoken with your teammates or Master Granger on this have you?"
"No Master," Myriam admitted.
"More for these former slaves and their kind can you do here or on Draxil?" Yoda asked.
The word Draxil almost escaped from Myriam's mouth, but she caught it in her throat. What was it that was holding her back? "I can't say just yet, Master."
Yoda nodded with understanding. "Meditate on this more, we shall. Hold the Council at bay a little longer I can, but an answer they will soon need."
"I understand, Master. Thank you. And may the Force be with you," Myriam signed out, sitting in silence for an extended period. She was not meditating but pondering her time at the monastery. Eventually, she forced herself to stand. Myriam picked up her meditation mat and exited her quarters intending to make her way to the fountain. She had only taken a few steps when she nearly collided with Humindol.
The Sister seemed frantic. "Jedi Myriam, I was just on my way to find you. I am afraid that Greian and some of the others have run off."
Myriam swallowed her fears. "Leave that to me."