READ ME!
Okay. So, I've made a decision regarding this story. I'm working on some personal stuff and trying to undo some very bad habits I've gotten into over the years, especially in regards to my writing. And in the process of working through all of that, I'm going to have to step away from all fanfiction for a while. I don't know how long exactly. I know I haven't posted anything in a while, but I've still been writing it in my spare time, focusing very heavily on Carpe Diem, and sadly, I'm going to have to stop that for a while. Because of everything I need to work on in my personal life and because I really want to push toward my author goals as a priority, I'm going to delete this story until I think I'm ready. When I've gotten myself to a point where I think I can write fanfiction without it becoming a distraction for me, I will begin reposting this story. And when I get to that point, I promise that updates will be consistent, even if I have to write the whole story out ahead of time to be sure of that. Because I'm deleting the story, I've included here some scenes I had lying around in my files. They're all backstory, of course, because that's what I've been focusing on the most for Lori, at the moment. I've got several ideas for her backstory, and I go back and forth so much that it's become something of a problem. Most of these scenes go along with one version I've been working on, but there are a few near the end that accidentally became a kind of alternative. I'll make a note of this in two places below, one where the alternate scenes would continue from, chronologically, and one right when the alternate scenes actually begin. Also, in most of these scenes, Lori's name is different. There's a really specific reason for that, of course, but I didn't see the point of changing it this late in. Just know that these scenes are all just a little bit rough because they have yet to go through the really deep edits, but I did glance at them for the basics, so they're still very much enjoyable. I'm sorry I have to do this to anyone still waiting on this story, but I really hope you enjoy these scenes in the meantime.
Temporary story deletion will be on April 30, 2023.
Begin
Lizzy is sick again. She knows it because her arms and legs are achy and her head hurts a lot. She knows it because Sissy is starting to talk about lunch, but all Lizzy wants to do is sleep. Lizzy is not hungry. She should be, she knows it, but thinking about food gives her that pukey feeling in the back of her throat, and she knows she won't be able to eat anything.
"Lizzy, look!" Sissy says with a big smile, putting down her crayons and reaching to hold up her drawing for Lizzy to see it. They are sitting at a small table in Sissy's room with crayons and pencils and paper, drawing pictures to go along with the story they're making together. "I drew Allie and Lulu finding the secret room in their Daddy's office!"
Lizzy blinks so she can focus on Sissie's picture and all the colors in it. There are two girls standing in front of a desk and a whole wall of books. One girl has orange hair like Lizzy's and the other one has blond hair like Sissie's, and one of the shelves on the book wall is pulled out like a door they didn't see before. The books are all drawn in different colors and so are the girls' dresses.
"That's really pretty," Lizzy says, blinking again and trying to sit straight so she doesn't slump and give away how bad she feels. She won't be able to play if anyone finds out she's sick again; they always make her take medicine and eat soup and sleep lots and Sissy has to go play all by herself and Lizzy doesn't get to see her all that much. Lizzy isn't ready to not see Sissie again; she only just got better and they still have lots of stuff they have to do together first. They can't be separated yet!
"Uh, huh," Sissie says back, smiling and nodding like she's really proud of herself, and Lizzy tries to look happy and not like she's sick. "I didn't know what colors to use for their dresses, so I just made little stripes and used all of them, and you can see where the shelf comes out for the secret room and everything!"
"I like it," Lizzy says, but her head starts hurting more and makes the pukey feeling worse, so she swallows a couple times to make it go away. It doesn't work very well. "I'm not done with mine yet but it's gonna be the hidden tunnel that goes outside to the forest." Lizzy holds it up to show her, even though it's only half done and she hasn't added any colors yet, and Sissie's eyes get all bright and sparkly like they do when she's excited.
"Oh, wow, that's so pretty, Lizzy!" Sissy gushes, leaning over the table to see the drawing better. Lizzy is drawing the room the tunnel starts in with the wall open to show where it's at, and she's got the picture pointing a little at the corner beside it so she can see the window that shows the forest way off past the house. It's not done yet, though; all she has so far is the shape of the room and where everything is going to go; she hasn't had a chance to add in many details yet. "You're so good at drawing; I wish mine were that good!"
"But your pictures are pretty, Sissy," Lizzy tells her, putting the drawing back down on the table and breathing once real deep so she doesn't get sick. "They're bright and colorful and creative, and I don't think anything's wrong with them." Lizzy swallows again, shifting in her seat and trying to wish her headache away.
"Hey, are you okay, Lizzy?" Sissy frowns and her eyebrows pinch together like they do when she's worried. "You don't look so good."
"I'm fine," Lizzy tries to say, shaking her head, but her whole body hurts, even her head, and the pukey feeling won't go away.
"Are you sure?" Sissy asks, leaning over to look at Lizzy's face closer. "We can stop if you need to rest a little?"
Lizzy shakes her head again, but everything spins and she feels like her whole throat is trying to come out her mouth. She twists to the side and her shoulders heave and before she knows it, all the pukey stuff she was trying not to do is coming out onto Sissy's carpet. Her throat hurts, and she coughs so hard it happens again, which just makes her cough even more, and she heaves again, even though not much comes out; her nose is burning, and her eyes start to water, and Lizzy tries really hard to make it stop so she can breathe again.
"Mommy!" Sissy shrieks and panics, jumping to her feet and running for her bedroom door, and Lizzy just knows she's already made a mess all over her clothes and her hair, and there's no way they'll let her spend more time with Sissy now. "Miss Spetto! Lizzy's getting sick again! Mommy!" Lizzy heaves and gasps, and her eyes are so blurry with tears that she can't see much, and she hopes that she'll get better fast this time because she hates being trapped in bed so much, hates being all alone all the time. She wishes the doctors could find out what's wrong with her, already. Lizzy hates being sick, hates it more than anything, and she wants it to stop really bad, even though she knows it won't.
Lizzy has been sick for years, after all.
The whole house is quiet. Lizzy can't hear a single thing stirring in the dark, and she looks at the clock on her wall just to be sure. It says it's 2:22 in the morning, and she knows it's now or never. Sissie will forgive her for doing this alone, she's sure of it. Lizzy just doesn't want to worry her, is all! Sissie worries too much sometimes, and Lizzy knows she won't let her do this after she got sick earlier in the day.
Lizzy just wants to go outside, that's all. Surely a visit to the gardens won't hurt anything?
Lizzy climbs out of bed and runs to her closet, to the corner where her fuzzy kitty cat slippers and her jacket are hiding so she doesn't get caught before she even starts. Lizzy can't afford to get caught. If she does, she's afraid they'll tie her down to her bed like they threaten to all the time. Lizzy doesn't want to be tied down to her bed. She already spends most of her nights and days there, after all! It's not fair she can't go outside with Sissie! Lizzy thinks that if she can go to the library in the East Wing, then she can go sit on a bench out in the gardens. It's the same distance from her room, after all, and even the Doctors think that fresh air is good for her!
It's just too bad that Daddy doesn't like the Doctors who come to see Lizzy and won't listen to them. Because if Daddy says that Lizzy isn't allowed outside, then everyone else listens, even when Lizzy tries to convince them she's fine. Lizzy doesn't think it's fair that no one listens to her. It's her that's sick! She should be able to tell them what she thinks she will be okay with!
Once Lizzy is wrapped up nice and warm, she fills her bed with pillows and covers them up so it looks like she's sleeping, and then, she slips outside into the dark hallway. There are hidden stairwells Miss Spetto told her about once that the maids use to get around easier without being seen, and Lizzy found one a few nights ago while she was exploring all the rooms closest to hers. She does that sometimes when the others are sleeping because otherwise, she'll never get to leave her room. Lizzy doesn't want to spend all her time in one room. It's stuffy and boring, and how is she supposed to feel better if she can't do fun stuff that makes her feel better? Grown ups don't make any sense at all, Lizzy thinks.
The stairs are dark when Lizzy finds them hidden behind the wall three rooms down, and she puts a hand on the railing so she doesn't fall and feels her way down the steps one at a time. Lizzy wishes she had a light, but she doesn't have a portable one in her room and couldn't take one from anywhere else without Miss Spetto getting suspicious. So Lizzy takes the stairs slowly, and keeps quiet even when the minutes seem to drag on and on.
What Lizzy thinks must be at least twenty minutes later, she runs out of stairs and her hand brushes a door. Pushing it open, Lizzy peeks out slowly to check if any of the servants are still up. A window lights up the room, and Lizzy recognizes a cabinet full of plates. She must be near the kitchens, then. Lizzy thinks she remembers Miss Spetto telling her the kitchens are on the first floor, and the thought makes her grin. She's so close, now!
She turns down the hallway next to her door, and then sees a window and a door that has to lead outside somewhere. Lizzy pumps her fist and bounces up and down in excitement, running over to pull the door open. A burst of fresh cool air hits her in the face, and Lizzy tilts her head into it, sighing at the feeling of it on her skin. Her heart pounds in excitement, and she steps outside quickly, pulling the door closed behind her. There is a pathway that runs around the side of the house, probably leading to the gardens and the patio, but Lizzy can't even look at that right now.
Because straight ahead, the full moon shines brightly onto the mountains in the distance and the trees closer to the edge of the property, and Lizzy thinks it is beautiful. She wonders briefly if anyone will be awake to see her if she goes to explore near the edge of the forest? Perhaps, she should wait until the moon is less bright so she doesn't risk getting caught.
Lizzy doesn't want Miss Spetto to find out she's sneaking out at night. Or worse, Daddy. If they catch her, Lizzy is sure she'll never be allowed outside her room ever again! Lizzy really doesn't want that to happen, so she takes one last longing look at the distant trees, and she turns to walk down the path. Later, the forest. But tonight? This is reserved for those lovely gardens she's only ever seen through the window.
Lizzy thinks it will be everything she imagines it to be.
Sissy smiles, holding up the pretty pink flower for Miss Spetto to see, and the woman smiles back down at her, nodding and taking it from her to add to the others she's already holding. She says something to Sissy that I can't hear from my window, and Sissy laughs and runs off deeper into the gardens and out of sight. Miss Spetto follows her, and I sigh, looking back down at my book, a fun adventure story by Kemu Zaleon. Disappointed, I push it aside and watch it fall to the floor just next to my window seat, crossing my arms and leaning my head back against the window.
Just outside, the sun shines brighter than I've seen it all summer, and the flowers are all bright and colorful, and there are birds and bees and ladybugs and all sorts of other things just waiting to be found. Even the grass is greener than usual, probably because Daddy says it has to be. Miss Spetto says we're in a drought right now, though, which apparently means we're not supposed to be watering the lawn, but Daddy makes the gardeners do it, anyway. No one ever says no to Daddy. Miss Spetto says that Mommy's the only one brave enough to do it, but I've never seen it for myself. I figure she must only do it when Daddy's being extra mean, even worse than when he's in a bad mood because of work stuff and takes it out on everyone else.
If I'm honest, I don't really like those days all that much. Daddy's really good days are much better. On those days, all four of us do fun stuff together inside, and it feels like a real family for once. We haven't had one of those days in a while, but Daddy's been looking happier lately, so maybe today is a good time to ask if I can go outside with Sissy? He might do it if I ask really nicely and make sure I don't look even a little bit sick today. I'm sick a lot, so Daddy is really strict about me going outside, which does suck sometimes. I'm not allowed to do much on days that I'm sick; sometimes, they don't even let me spend time with Sissy and make me sleep all day!
I hear the door open somewhere behind me, probably one of the maids coming in to clean the library, and the breeze that blows by because of the doorway makes me shiver just a little.
"What are you doing in here?" Daddy's angry voice comes from right behind me, and I flinch, looking back over my shoulder at him. Uh-Oh. His arms are crossed, and even his eyebrows frown down at me. He looks really upset today. That's never a good sign. "You're supposed to be resting!"
"I'm just sitting!" I tell him with a frown, standing up and reaching down to grab my book off the floor. Daddy hates it when I leave books on the floor; I just get upset sometimes when I can't go outside with everyone else because I'm sick. "I'm not doing anything bad, I promise!"
"You're supposed to be in bed; you're sick!" He retorts, glaring down at me the way he does when he's really mad at me. "Not off gallivanting in the library two floors away from your room!"
"But I'm always sick!" I glare back and stomp my foot, clenching my hands tightly around my book. "It's not fair I have to stay in bed all the time! I wanna go outside with Sissy!"
"I don't care that it's not fair; you know very well that you're not allowed outside!" Daddy yells at me, his eyes large and angry, and his mustache twitches violently like it only seems to do on his worst days. My heart sinks a little at the sight of it.
"But we don't know why I keep getting sick! Going outside isn't going to make it any worse!" My face grows warm and my lip wobbles sadly. "Even the doctor said so!"
"That Doctor is a hack who can't even fix one little girl!" He yelled back at me, clenching his hands into fists. "He clearly doesn't know what he's talking about!"
"Fix me?" I jerk back in shock and suck in a breath, my eyes starting to water. "I'm sick, not broken!"
"You might as well be!" His face is turning red, his eyes angrier than I've ever seen them. "What use is a child who can't even get out of bed without something going wrong?!"
"Wha-" My voice breaks I stop and look up at him with my eyes wide and wet. My insides twinge, and I can feel my lips wobble with oncoming tears. "What do you mean by that?"
"I didn- you- I…" Daddy flinches and steps back, his eyes wide for a second, and then he clears his throat and straightens back up. "Nevermind that," he tells me, not yelling but still sounding kinda angry. "Just go to bed!"
"But-"
"Go!"
He turns away, dismissive, and I run, my shoulders shaking, tears running down my face hot and fast. Maybe Daddy's right. Maybe I am broken.
Broken and useless.
"—and Miss Spetto told me about this really special flower that's magic, but it only grows in really special climates because of what it eats! I asked Miss Spetto, but she didn't know what it eats, which is sad, but they're supposed to be super rare, really hard to find, and she's never actually seen one before, just heard about them in stories. It's really cool, Lizzy! They only bloom at night, and Miss Spetto says that's it's supposed to be really beautiful! Do you wanna come with me when you get better so we can go find one? It sounds like a lot of fun! I bet you'd like it!"
"That sounds nice." I stare out the window distractedly, at the pinks and oranges shooting across the sky in the distance.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Sissy asks me, her voice hesitant and worried, and I glance back over at her briefly. She reaches out to take my hand comfortingly. "Are you not feeling well today? I can let you rest if you'd rather not talk right now. We can always do it later."
"No, no, you're fine!" I tell her with a frown, shaking my head furiously as I turn to focus on her more deeply. "I was just watching the sunset is all. Sorry I got distracted."
"Oh." Sissy looks over at the window and then back at me with a bright smile. "Oh, okay! Yeah, it's really pretty, isn't it? You should see it from outside! There's this one spot out past the gardens that has the perfect view! You'd love it!"
"Can you show me?" I perk up, looking over at her hopefully. "If we hurry, I bet we can make it before the sun goes all the way down!" I throw off the covers and swing my legs around so I can stand.
"Wait, Lizzy, you're still sick!" Sissy stands, panic flashing across her face as she holds out her arms to stop me. "You can't go outside!"
"Why not?" I pause to frown at her, disappointment twinging at my chest. "You said it was prettier from outside, and I don't feel that bad today! I don't even feel achy or like I'll throw up or anything!"
Sissy frowns sternly and put her hands on her hips. "You know that Mommy and Daddy don't want you going outside until you're all better! You have to rest!"
"But I'm tired of resting!" I push off the bed and stomp my foot, shooting Sissy a stubborn frown and crossing my arms to show her I'm serious. "I rest all the time! I wanna do something fun for once!"
"But Daddy said—"
"I don't care what Daddy said!" I exclaim, breath heaving roughly, and I reach up to swipe at my eyes before they can get too wet. "I'm not useless! I'm not gonna fall over and die just by going twenty feet out the front door!"
Sissy jerks back like I hit her, her eyes popping wide and her mouth falling open. "No one ever said you were useless! Lizzy, you're just sick, that's all! You'll get better soon and I'm sure Mommy and Daddy will let you go outside all you want when you do!"
"But what if I don't?" I ask quietly, trying not to let my lip wobble too much. It doesn't seem to help. "What if I never get better and I spend the rest of my life trapped in this house? I wanna see the sun and the sky without a window in the way! I wanna smell the flowers while they're still in the ground, and I wanna—" My shoulders shake, and I pause to suck in a breath, tears running down my face warm and wet. "I wanna feel the grass under my feet."
"Oh, Lizzy." Sissy's arms wrap around my shoulders, and I slump back onto the bed, letting her settle next to me with her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her waist in return, burying my face in her hair. "I didn't realize you felt that way. I'm so sorry."
"S'okay." I curl my arms tighter around her waist and sniffle.
"It's not," Sissy says, pushing back on my shoulders to look at me, and I let her, rubbing my cheeks to try to dry the tears off. "It's not fair that you're sick and I'm not, but you know what?" There's a familiar sort of look in her eyes, warm and bright and determined, and the sight of it fills me with unease.
"…what?"
"You are going to get better; there's no question about that." Sissy shakes my shoulders as if to emphasize her point, leaning in so her face is right in front of mine. "But until that day comes, I'll be right here, okay? We'll get through this, Lizzy. Together." Her face is set, her eyes bright and fierce, but somehow, all I can feel is dread.
Sissy, I find myself thinking, What are you up to now?
(A/N: The alternative scenes I mentioned in my note at the beginning would start sometime after this. There are, of course, unwritten scenes that take place in between everything, but then, I didn't have any of the transition scenes written up ahead of time, just the important ones.)
(A/N: This one scene below was part of a slightly different version of events, but I left it in because I hadn't written up either version yet and it still fits well enough with everything else going on, especially since it was really just a difference of where, rather than what.)
They have been riding in the carriage for at least a few hours, Lizzy thinks. She can't tell for sure; all the scenery out the window looks the same to her, and the guard sitting across from them refuses to talk when Lizzy asks him things. There is a driver up front with a second guard, and Lizzy wonders if they would be a little more talkative, but she isn't allowed to sit up there with them. She's already asked, and Miss Spetto got that really stern look on her face like she always does when she thinks Lizzy is pushing herself too far. Lizzy thinks it is unfair and boring, but Miss Spetto can be stubborn and she worries a lot when Lizzy is sick like she is right now.
Not that it matters much. Lizzy is always sick.
"Miss Spetto?" Lizzy asks, turning away from the window to tug on the older woman's sleeve. "Do you think we can stop for a break soon? I'm getting hungry."
And she is, kind of. Lizzy hasn't eaten since the breakfast they had at that cute little restaurant Miss Spetto found after they got off the train, and that was hours ago. They have snacks, Lizzy knows, but it's hard to eat on a moving carriage when the road is this bumpy. Lizzy is used to dirt roads, but the ones back home are always smooth and even 'cause the servants are always there to make sure they don't have lots of rocks and holes and stuff. These roads are kind of annoying, and sitting in a carriage for so long is starting to hurt Lizzy's butt. She isn't sure if she should tell Miss Spetto that, though, because she always worries more when Lizzy complains about stuff like that, like anything less than a fluffy cloud is too rough on a girl as sick as Lizzy always is. Lizzy doesn't think it really matters too much; if an achy butt could make her sicker than she already is, then Lizzy is pretty sure she'd be way sick right now, and she's not, so it's okay. Lizzy can handle it.
"Oh, dear, it has been a while since breakfast, hasn't it?" Miss Spetto says, looking over at Lizzy with that smile she always saves just for her, the one that shows just how fragile she thinks Lizzy is. It bothers her sometimes, but she knows it just means that Miss Spetto cares, and Lizzy would never ask her to stop doing that. "It should be about lunch time, now, and you do need proper nutrition." Miss Spetto runs a hand over Lizzy's hair, and she smiles back up at the woman happily. So, they're actually going to stop? Awesome! Maybe if Lizzy can show Miss Spetto how good she feels, how not sick she is right now, she'll let her explore a bit before they have to keep going? Lizzy's never left home before; she has to find a good story to bring back with her. It won't be an adventure, otherwise.
"Would you ask the driver to pull over when he finds a good place to stop for lunch?" Miss Spetto asks the guard, and he nods with his face all firm and stiff, turning right away to lean out the window and talk to the others. Lizzy perks up and wonders if it would be fun to lean out the window, but she knows Miss Spetto will have a fit if she tries, and then, she'll never get to explore and she doesn't want that to happen. So, she settles back down and plants the most innocent smile she can muster onto her face when she looks over at Miss Spetto. "And what's that look for, hmm?" Miss Spetto looks back at Lizzy with a smile like she already knows what's what and Lizzy should just come clean, already. "Is there something I should know about?"
"Nu-Uh." Lizzy shakes her head roughly but keeps smiling so Miss Spetto doesn't suspect anything. She doesn't know how the woman does it, but Miss Spetto can always tell when Lizzy is thinking about doing stuff she shouldn't. Lizzy wonders if she should maybe ask Miss Spetto if she can use magic; it would explain a whole lot if she did, and then, Lizzy can tell Lucy all about it. "Hey, Miss Spetto, can you do magic? Because it would be really cool if you could do magic. I bet you'd be great at magic. Will you show me some magic?" Lizzy brightens at the thought; she bets Lucy will love to see real magic. Her sister always loves reading about it, so seeing it firsthand will be like the Best Thing Ever. Lizzy can totally tell her all about it, and they'll get Miss Spetto to show both of them, and it'll be awesome. Lizzy is sure of it.
"I'm afraid I'm not very good at it." Miss Spetto laughs in that warm and caring way she has, shaking her head and running her fingers over Lizzy's hair again, and the girl pouts. "Magic was never my thing. I'm sorry, Liz." Lizzy pouts up at Miss Spetto, wishing the answer could be something different.
Oh, well. Maybe Miss Spetto will still let her explore a little?
(A/N: Pretty large transition here. Sorry if it's confusing at all. If anyone wants details or has any questions, feel free to comment or DM me, and I'll do my best.)
His face was really pale (so white it made him look like a ghost), especially next to his eyes that looked like tiny black holes (so dark, so empty, so cold; it scared me), and his dark hair hung in his face like a curtain. I wondered how he could see past all that hair when he also wore a mask that covered his whole face (why would he want to cover up that much, wasn't it hot), a mask that I didn't remember grabbing but that I was still holding, anyway (how did I even get it). He looked angry and scary but in a way that was frightfully cold (cold like ice, cold like dead) not like the man beside him who was yelling at me with deep red eyes that were almost spitting fire at me from across the little boat we were on (why was he angry, did I do something to him, too). This one still had his mask so I couldn't see his face, but he was moving his arms a lot like he was mad at me for taking his friend's mask and I didn't know what to do (it was scary and confusing and I couldn't stop crying). Red Eyes was yelling at me, but it was Black Hole that really scared me, especially when he moved to take a step closer to my side of the boat (why was he coming closer, no, did he want his mask back).
I shivered and scooted back, crying, and when he took another step, I panicked and threw his mask back at him (here, he can have it, I didn't want it), trying to apologize. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to, please don't be angry!" He didn't listen, and when the mask hit his chest and bounced off into the ocean (why couldn't I see anything past the water, wasn't there supposed to be land somewhere, it was weird), his eyes got darker and colder and he came at me faster than before (oh, gosh, I messed up, I didn't mean to, please). I screeched and tried to scoot back some more, but I was already stuck on the edge and and I didn't have anywhere else to go (nowhere but the water but I couldn't swim, didn't remember how). He came over and bent down to grab me (my heart went really fast, and I felt hot, so so hot), and I was scared and I couldn't stop crying (hot, hot, it hurt) and I knew it wouldn't work (it couldn't, he was bigger and stronger than me in every way) but I pushed at him anyway. My hands felt like fire, my insides were boiling, and I screamed and screamed and kept screaming (pain, pain, I was scared, it hurt, why, pain, makeitstop) and everything was white and my ears were ringing and then I wasn't the only one screaming….
"Help!"
Hacking and coughing, I spat out more seawater and pumped my arms, trying to stay afloat with the ocean churning around me. Lightning flashed across the dark sky, and I shrieked as another wave flew over my head and sent me under. Saltwater flooded my senses, making my eyes burn as it poured into my nose and mouth, going straight down my throat. I gagged and choked, unsuccessfully trying to heave the water back out of my system. My lungs burned.
I broke sweet, sweet air, immediately hacking up the seawater I'd just swallowed and trying to take in the deepest breath I could under the roar of the ocean. Everything hurt. It hurt so, so much, and I wanted to cry, and what the hell was going on?
"He-" I coughed again, spitting out more seawater and trying not to gag at the taste. I couldn't afford the distraction. "Help! Please!" My throat burned, and helpless tears pricked my eyes. It just wasn't fair.
Every part of me ached, my arms and legs felt like lead, and it was so dark and so stormy that I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me.
I really didn't want to die here.
Not again.
I woke up screaming, throat hurting and ears are full of white noise, and suddenly, there were hands on my shoulders, holding me down, and I panicked. I jerked and shoved my hands at my attacker and then, everything was hot-hot-so hot I could see it even with my eyes closed. It was almost too much. My attacker let go, and there was shouting and yelling and a loud crashing sound and I jerked back, pulled away and away until my back hit the wall and my throat started hurting so much I had to stop screaming. So I let go and curled into myself, trying to decide between rubbing my sore throat or trying to get the spots out of my eyes. I blinked and blinked and then blinked again, shoved into a corner so I wouldn't be surprised again, and my heart beat really fast, so fast I could hear it pounding away at my ears like a fast-beating drum. And then, my head started pounding with it, and it kinda hurt like my throat hurt and my side hurt and my everything hurt, so I settled for grabbing at my head and huddling into myself with hot wet tears trailing down my face, and my shoulders started shaking, and I couldn't stop, even though I really wanted to.
"—ear me? Little girl, are you okay? Can you hear me?" I heard a voice saying, feminine and sweet and kind and I shuddered and tensed and I really didn't know what to do. "I just want to help, Sweetie. Can you tell me where it hurts?" A hand came down on my arm, fingers gentle and hesitant and I jerked back again, panic clawing at my throat, and the hand retreated suddenly. "Hey, it's okay," The voice repeated softly, full of gentleness. "I just want to help. Can you look at me, Sweetie, please? Just one look so I know you're okay?"
I hesitated. Wha? Who was this? I didn't know, didn't recognize the voice, didn't know whether to be scared or relieved by the kindness I could hear in it. What was going on? What was happening?
"You had a nightmare, Sweetie," the voice said, and oh, I realized, I must have said that out loud, "but you're hurt. Can you come away from the corner so I can check your stitches, please? I just want to make sure you're okay."
I hesitated again, considering. Stopped and then went back over the woman's words. I was so confused. "Wh-where am I?" I asked, voice small and scared and just a little hoarse from screaming so much. Was that really me? How? Why? Did I really sound like that?
"You're on Galuna Island, Sweetie; we found you shipwrecked out on the ocean." The voice told me, soft and gentle. "I promise you're not in any danger here, but I really need to check and make sure you're okay. Can you come away from the corner, please?" I lifted up a little but stopped, curious and hesitant all at once, and the woman kept going. "Just open your eyes, Sweetie, and I'll be right here, okay? I just want to help, I promise."
I sniffled a little and sucked in my bottom lip, slowly, quietly peeking up over my arms and wiping the wetness off my face with my hands. In front of me was a woman with pretty blue skin and nice pointy ears, sitting on her knees a few feet away but not trying to move any closer or touch me like she did before. My heart slowed down a little, and I dropped my arms a couple of inches, looking at her curiously.
"See, there you go, Sweetie," the woman said with a kind smile, and I gave in and dropped my arms onto my raised legs because they were getting kinda tired and the woman didn't look mean at all. In fact, she looked really nice, and I was starting to think that I could maybe trust her a little.
"How are you feeling?" The woman asked, smiling all softly at me, and it made her face look bright and warm. It was a nice look for her, I decided.
"You're really pretty," I blurted out instead of answering, making me flush, but I couldn't seem to stop myself from asking, anyway. "How'd you get your skin all blue like that?"
The woman looked down at herself as if shocked and then started laughing out of nowhere like she'd just heard a really funny joke. "I was born this way, actually," She said with a bright smile after she stopped laughing. "Pretty cool, right?" The woman asked me and I nodded a little, still huddled in the corner. "My name is Lulu, by the way. What's your name?" I opened my mouth and then stopped, trying to think. The woman named Lulu kept talking. "Do you think you can tell me what happened, Sweetie, how you ended up out on the ocean like that?"
I looked down at my knees with a frown, scrunching my face up in thought. It was kinda weird, I realized, but I didn't know the answer to Lulu's questions. All I could see when I tried to think back was a pair of deep black eyes, eyes so dark they were like miniature black holes. It scared me.
"I don't know," I said, my lip starting to wobble and my face growing hot again, and it wasn't fair. "I can't remember."
The world exploded above me, bright and hot behind my eyes, and I screamed as arms wrapped around me and jerked up and out so fast it left me dizzy. There was a really big crash somewhere behind me, and I felt the person holding me move a little and tighten their grip.
"No, stop!" I whimpered, my heart loud in my ears as I reached out and tried to push him away as hard as I could. "Let me go!"
"Hey, hey, it's okay!" A male voice told me, warm and kind, and I stopped fighting, looking up at the familiar face. "It's just me; it's Bobo. You're alright."
Purply skin with spots, horns, and a goatee were what I saw first, and having Bobo right there made me feel relieved and comfortable and safe. His eyes were dark but warm, not empty at all, and there was so much concern on his face that it made my eyes go all blurry and my face felt hot. My whole body started shaking, and I threw myself at him, clenching my fists into his shirt as his arms wrapped all the way around me, big hands rubbing soft circles in my back as I cried snot and tears all over him.
"Was it another nightmare?" Bobo asked after a while, and I nodded without looking up, sniffling into his shirt.
"Sorry," I whispered, feeling really guilty for waking him up again.
"Hey, no apologies," He told me, pushing me back to look me in the eye firmly. "You're not at all a bother, so don't feel bad."
"O-okay." I sniffled and nodded, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands, and then, I saw the smoke and the wreckage behind Bobo. "Oh my gosh, your house!" I shrieked and pointed over his shoulder. "It's broken! Did I do that? I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to!" Hot, hot tears came to my eyes again, and it made me feel small and weak and stupid and I hated it.
"It's fine; don't worry about it," Bobo said, shaking my shoulders a bit to get me to look at him again, giving me a strong, serious look when I did. "I can fix a broken house easy, but it would be a lot harder to fix you if you got hurt, okay?"
"But, but," I sniffled again, trying really hard not to cry, "I put holes in it before, and now it's broken and it's your house and what about your stuff and where are you supposed to sleep—"
"Hey, stop!" Bobo shook me again, hard and angry and I sobbed and then, he pulled me close again and started running his fingers through my hair. "It's not your fault! You were having a nightmare, and your magic is really volatile right now, and I'm not at all angry at you for this! We'll be fine; everything will be fine. Just have faith, okay?"
"O-ok-kay," I hiccuped, still shaking and crying and trying not to, and I wiped at my face again, confused and curious all at once. "Bu-but, uh… what's vola-volatile mean?"
L: I'm sorry I keep breaking stuff Miss Lulu.
Lulu: It's okay; no one's mad at you for that. You can't help it that your magic reacts to your nightmares so easily.
L: If you say so….
Lulu: I do say so. But we're just going to move you to Bobo's hut, just to be safe, okay? It's not as closely packed in as the others in the village, so if your magic goes wild, we can minimize the damage and make sure no one gets hurt. And either me or Bobo will be with you the whole time, okay? So you don't have to ever worry about being all alone.
L: Okay.
Lulu: And guess what? We've talked it over and everyone agrees that it's probably a good idea for you to learn magic. Isn't that exciting?! I can't do much, myself, but it sounds amazing! I bet you'll have lots of fun!
L: I don't know if I like it much, though. It keeps breaking stuff, and I don't wanna hurt anyone!
Lulu: Well, that's why you learn to control it, isn't it? Once you get that far, magic is nothing to be afraid of, you'll see.
L: I guess.
L: "I like your name Lulu; can I have a name like yours?"
Lulu: "Sure, if you want. What do you like about it?"
L: "I don't know, I just like the way it sounds. It feels nice."
Lulu: "That's sweet; thank you!" … "What about Mimi or Cici; do those sound nice? Would you like one of those names?"
L: "Um, no, that doesn't sound right." … "I think it has to be an 'L' name; can you make it an 'L' name?"
Lulu: "Yeah, sure." … "So, what about Laci or Lani, or there's Lina, Lily, Laura, Lori, Lizzy—"
L: "Wait!" … "I like that one!"
Lulu: "Which one, Sweetie? Is it Lori or Lizzy?"
L: "Um… no, Lizzy doesn't sound right, maybe Lori?"
Lulu: "So, you want your name to be Lori, then?"
L: "Uh… Yeah!"
Lulu: "That sounds great; I like it. Lori it is, then."
Bobo: We all use magic for our human transformations, but that kind of magic comes naturally to us. Most of us don't really know anything beyond that, me included, so there isn't a lot I can really do to help, but I'll try my best, okay?
Lori: But where am I supposed to start? I don't even know how my magic keeps acting up all on its own!
Bobo: If I had to guess, I'd say that your magic seems to react most strongly to how you're feeling. Which isn't a bad thing, actually, even with the accidents. It means you're more connected to your magic than most, so once you can find it and grab hold of it, learning to use it should be pretty easy for you.
Lori: Really? …that sounds nice.
Bobo: One of the first things Pops taught me when I first started learning how to do my transformations was that you have to feel your magic. It's a part of you, and magic is always stronger when it comes from the heart, okay?
Lori: But how do I do that, though?
Bobo: Pops made me meditate and feel my magic for a long time before I was allowed to use it. You're so connected to yours already that I doubt you'll need to do much meditating, but we could start with that and see how it goes from there. Now, sit criss-cross, just like this. (Bobo sits criss cross in front of Lori and she copies his form hesitantly, still a little afraid.) Now, I want you to close your eyes and look inside yourself, okay? You'll wanna clear your mind of everything else and focus only on connecting with your magic.
Lori: (shifts) But I don't know what it feels like, though. How will I recognize it? And how will I know what to do with it once I have it?
Bobo: (grins) Trust me, kid, you'll know. But you gotta focus, okay? It's in there; you just gotta learn how to find it on your own.
Lori: (sits with her eyes closed for a while, brows furrowed in concentration. Huffs and pouts, crossing her arms in frustration.) It's not working! Are you sure this is what I'm supposed to do?
Bobo: (laughs) Well, you're not going to find it within the first five minutes! This kind of thing takes a while. Just be patient, okay? Now, close your eyes and try again.
Lori: …Okay.
"How you doing, kid?" Bobo asked, lowering himself down beside me until his legs were hanging off the edge of the cliff next to mine.
"Fine." I didn't look at him, keeping my eyesight firmly on the horizon in the distance, on the sun hanging low over the deep blue ocean.
"You sure about that, kid?" He pushed with a knowing lilt to his voice, and I could feel his eyes boring a hole into my head. "Because usually when people say they're fine, they're really not."
"So."
"So-" Bobo sighed and I heard the rustle of fabric as he shifted next to me. Several loose stones went rolling away at his interruption. "Look, kid, you know you can talk to me if something's bothering you, right? There isn't one person on this island who's gonna blame you for what happened back there."
"…how is she?"
"She's gonna be fine, kid," Bobo told me, his voice firm and reassuring. "I'm not gonna lie and say she's not in a lot of pain right now, but it takes more than a bunch-a-light to take out a demon. Probably won't even leave a scar."
"Probably?"
"We're a resilient bunch, ya know." There was a thumping sound of flesh on flesh, like Bobo was making a gesture I couldn't see.
Things went quiet after that while we watched the sun set over the ocean, the air between us calm and peaceful for the first time in days. And when the sky finally turned dark, reds and pinks fading into deep blue, when the stars finally came out to play for the night, I sighed and slid back from the edge of the cliff, twisting to crawl back onto my feet.
"I'm ready," I said, looking over at Bobo still sitting there with that smug grin on his face.
"Good."
(A/N: Another kinda long transition between these scenes. Sorry about that. I just hadn't gotten around to writing those particular scenes yet.)
"Miss Lulu! Miss Lulu!" I called, running toward the blue-skinned woman standing outside old Mister Moka's hut. She jumped and turned to look at me with wide eyes as I stopped in front of her. "I'm sorry if I scared you Miss Lulu, but is Bobo inside? I wanna show him my magic! I finally figured out how to do that barrier thing that kept happening on its own right after I got here, but now I can do it on purpose! Cancer hel—" Lulu's hand covered my mouth, and she bent down to look me in the eye with this really worried look on her face, almost like she was scared.
"I'm sorry Lori, I really am, but you can't be here right now. Bobo and his father are in a meeti…"The doorflap opened behind her, and Lulu trailed off as a blonde woman in a pretty dress stepped out, and then I couldn't see anything else because Lulu was suddenly in front of me.
"Did someone say Cancer?" I heard the woman ask, her voice frantic and worried, and I was confused. What did she want with Cancer? "Please, where did you find his key? It would mean so much if you could tell me!" The woman's voice sounded kinda rough, almost like she was crying, and I frowned. "It used to belong to one of my servants, and she's been missing for almost two years, along with my daughter, and I've been searching for any sign of either of them for just as long! So, please, please, is there anything you can tell me, anything at all?"
"What's going on?" I asked, shoving out from behind Lulu, and the woman's face twisted like she was shocked I was there, but I didn't know why. It wasn't like Lulu was hiding me very well, anyway. "How do you know Cancer?" I paused and looked at her closer for a minute, curious. "Hey, you're human! And you look kinda like I do, actually; is that what all humans look like?" And then the strange woman started crying with her hands over her mouth, and I frowned. "Hey, why are you crying? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings; I was just curious! You don't have to answer if it makes you sad, I promise!"
"Lizzy?" The woman dropped to her knees in front of me, wrapping her arms around me and tucking her face into my shoulder. "You're alive! I can't believe it! You're actually alive, after all this time!"
(A/N: Another long transition. I was skipping around a lot while writing out Lori's backstory scenes, to be honest, but these next couple of scenes were always iffy for me, on whether or not they would make the final cut.)
"I guess you heard, then?" I asked the woman, holding my umbrella up over her head to shield her from the rain.
Even the weather was sad today, it seemed.
"What?" The woman turned, startled, and met my eyes, hers wide and green and filled with tears. "Oh, I'm sorry." She swiped at her eyes once to wipe out the tears and turned to face me more fully, looking me up and down more deeply with eyes green enough to match her vivid green hair. Somehow, the look suited her. "You're her daughter, aren't you?"
"One of them." I nodded with a sad smile. Gosh, I missed her so much already. How was I ever supposed to do this without her? "My name is Lori. How did you know her?"
"I'm Grammi. It's nice to meet you, Lori. I wish it was under better circumstances. You and my daughter are around the same age; I think you'd like each other," She told me sadly, looking back down at the tombstone in front of us with a deep, guilty sort of look in her eyes, "Your mother and I used to be friends once, a long time ago. I haven't seen her in years."
"You never got to say goodbye?" I guessed, gesturing from her to the tombstone while I tilted my head to try and get a better look at her face.
Whoever this woman was, I didn't recognize her from my memories of the series. If she'd been a part of things, it was only after Tartaros, as that was the last arc I'd managed to see before I died. The rest sadly hadn't been out yet at the time of my death. She looked back at me with a sad, watery smile.
"It's not quite that simple." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out something shiny and golden, and my eyes zeroed in on the object. She opened her hand, and there it sat. My eyes widened. "You see, it's all my fault."
"The last key!" I exclaimed, looking down at Aquarius' key in her hand. It was the one key Layla had been missing when she opened the gate. But how did this woman have it? "Aquarius!"
She looked up at me in shock, wide eyes meeting mine, and as I gazed back into hers, a strange sort of knowing passed between us. "You were there."
"Yes." I nodded slowly. "But how did you know about that? We never told anyone else."
She looked away guiltily and reached back into her pocket, exchanging the key in her hand for a folded piece of paper. "She sent me a letter explaining everything," She told me, unfolding the paper and holding it up for me to see. Layla's pretty, curvy handwriting stared back at me from the page. "Unfortunately, I didn't get it in time. I was too late, and now…" She looked back down at the tombstone, covering her mouth with her hands as her lips started to wobble with the onset of tears. My eyes watered in response to the sight, and I took a deep breath and blinked away the tears.
Not yet.
"And now, she's dead." I looked down at the tombstone, rather than at her face, the umbrella still held up between us to shield from the rain.
"I'm so sorry." Her shoulders shook, and she fell to her knees at Layla's grave, covering her face with her hands as she sobbed outright.
"You didn't kill her any more than I did," I told her, kneeling to wrap my free arm around her shoulders. "Mom was determined to do this, whether or not she had all twelve keys. No one could have stopped her."
"I'm sorry." The woman turned and wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my middle. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Tears pricked my eyes, and I pushed them back as Lucy's brokenhearted face flashed in my mind.
"It's okay to be upset," I said, rubbing the back of a woman I didn't know but who had clearly known my mother very well.
"How are you keeping it all together?" She asked, pulling back to look at my face, at the tears I wouldn't let fall. "She was your mother, wasn't she?"
"She'll always be my mother," I told her, glancing back toward the house, toward where Lucy was hiding out in her room, mourning the woman who'd been everything to us. "But I have someone who needs me to be strong right now." She followed my gaze, looking between me and the house curiously.
"Your sibling?" Her eyes flashed with realization, and she swiped at her eyes with her hands, pulling herself back to her feet with a single deep breath.
I nodded. "Her name is Lucy," I said with a sad smile, reaching up to fiddle with my necklace just to keep my hands busy. "She looks just like Mom; they were really close."
"How old is she?" The woman asked, following the movement of my hands curiously with her eyes. "Is she doing okay?"
"She's a little broken right now, to be honest." Regret filled me at the image of Lucy's tearstruck face in my head. "Not that I can blame her. Losing people really hurts, you know?"
"Especially when it's your mom." She shook her head and looked back down at the gravestone. "I was twenty-two when my mom died. It devastated me. I don't know how you're keeping it all together at your age."
"I'm not," I told her honestly, shrugging. "I'm just good at hiding it."
"You have such a big heart, Lori." She leaned down and placed a hand on my shoulder and then held out her other one, Aquarius' key sitting innocently in her palm. "Never forget that."
"What?" I looked down at her hand in shock. "Your key…"
"I know what you said about your mom and you're not wrong," She said, reaching out to take my hand and placing the key inside, "but telling yourself it's not your fault and believing it are two separate things."
"But." I shifted the key in my hand, confused and hesitant. Was this really how Lucy had ended up with Aquarius canonically? It was admittedly an odd way to go about it. "It's your key, though."
"Not anymore," she said with a gentle smile. "Giving Aquarius a new home with someone as special as you? It's the least I can do after everything."
"Don't you care about her, though?" I hesitated. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"It's because I care about her that I'm doing this," Grammi told me, the light in her eyes a little brighter than they'd been before, "and yes, I'm sure."
And somehow, I believed her.
"Thank you."
Pulling the blanket back, I crawled into the bed behind Lucy, throwing an arm over her waist and curling up into her with the blanket over the both of us. She reached up to grab my hand, lacing her fingers through mine and curling both hands up into herself, near her heart.
"How are you doing?" I mumbled into her hair. She curled tighter, squeezing my hand, and didn't say anything. "An old friend of Mom's came to visit her grave today."
Lucy stiffened, and her hand tightened on mine. "Who was it?" She asked, not looking at me.
"Her name is Grammi," I told her. "She told me that Mom used to be a Stellar Spirit mage and that when she retired, she gave Grammi one of her keys."
"She did?" Lucy shifted, looking back over her shoulder at me with shock all over her face. "Really?"
"She really did!" I nodded and grinned at her. "Isn't that awesome? You're learning the same kind of magic that Mom used to use!"
"That's so cool!" Lucy shifted and rolled over to face me, adjusting her grip so our hands were clasped between us on the pillow. "Did she tell you which Spirits mom used to have?"
"Uh-huh!" I nodded enthusiastically against the pillow, happy Lucy was actually talking to me. "She had Cancer, Capricorn, and Aquarius! I don't know where Capricorn is now, but—" I shifted, letting go of Lucy's hands briefly so I could fish around in my pocket, "—Grammi gave me Aquarius' key to give to you so now, we'll both have keys that Mom used to have!" I pulled it out of my pocket and held it up for her to see.
"No way!" Lucy's mouth dropped open, and she pulled herself upright in the bed, grabbing the key from my hand to hold it close to her face. She turned it this way and that for a minute, and then, she finally put it down and turned her attention back to me. "But why give us the key? Could she not use magic, or something?"
"I'm pretty sure she could use magic just fine." I sat up and shook my head, shifting my legs around so they were criss-cross. Now, how did I explain this without mentioning anything about the Eclipse Gate? "I think she just wanted to give Mom's key back to her daughters, give us something to hold onto, like a connection to Mom, you know?"
"That makes sense, I guess," Lucy said, looking down at the key in her hand. "It was really nice of her. Do you think she'll miss Aquarius when she goes home?"
"She probably will," I told her, nodding, "but it looked like it was something she really wanted to do. Both for us and for Mom, you know?"
"Yeah." Lucy closed her fist tightly around the key and held it close to her chest, sniffling. "I really miss you, Mom."
I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her tightly in a hug.
"Me too."
Alternative
(A/N: And this is where the alternate stuff actually starts. Hope you enjoy!)
"Hello!" Lizzie shouts, cupping her hands around her mouth. "Is anyone there?"
There is no response, and Lizzie sighs, stopping for a minute to lean against a tree and catch her breath. Every bone in her body aches; it's almost like fire running through her veins. She sucks in a breath against the pain, curling her arms around her middle and sinking low to lay against the roots. Wind blows past, whistling through the trees, and Lizzie shivers. Gosh, it's so cold. Is this what mountain weather is like all the time, or is Lizzie just too hot to feel anything but freezing? She isn't sure she can tell the difference, anymore. She's been out here for ages already. It feels like days.
"Hello!" Lizzie shouts again, trying to swallow back the nausea. Her head pounds against her eyes, and she squeezes them closed, leaning her head against her knees for a long, pained moment. "Please!" She sobs the moment she can get the words out. It's not loud enough by half. "Help me!"
Her voice fades, and Lizzie starts seeing spots as pain radiates through every pore. It cuts through her like a knife against her insides, and she sobs again, curling up as tightly as possible. It doesn't help. "Please."
Lizzie lays there for a long time with nothing but pain and the sounds of nighttime to keep her company. She doesn't know what's out there, but nothing comes even a little bit close the whole night. She wonders briefly if it's odd, but then another wave of pain radiates through her, and she can't think of anything else. It even hurts to breathe. Honestly, Lizzie thinks she might be dying.
A leaf crunches somewhere behind her, and Lizzie opens her eyes briefly. The sun is rising in the distance, but past that and the trees right in front of her, Lizzie can't see anything else. Pain spasms through her again, and all Lizzie can do is breathe and close her eyes against the morning light. Another leaf crunches somewhere behind her, closer than before. Another follows it. Lizzie wonders if some animal or other is finally coming to finish her off. She wonders why she isn't dead yet. Certainly, she should be dead by now?
A shadow falls over her, and Lizzie opens her eyes. There is a bare human foot just in front of her face, kind of dark and a little bit dirty. Surprise rushes through her and brings with it another shot of pain, and Lizzie gasps, falling more than rolling over onto her back and squeezing her eyes closed. A lonely tear trails down her face; Lizzie is almost surprised she still has tears left to shed.
"Please," She whimpers, her voice barely a whisper to her own ears. There is no way this person, whoever he is, can hear her plea. She can't even open her eyes to check, she's hurting so much, but a moment later, she is surprised all over again.
Arms slide underneath her, jolting her body and bringing with it more pain. Lizzie gasps at the sensation, but the arms don't hesitate, and she is pulled against someone's chest. His warmth is suck a shock that Lizzie whimpers and presses in tighter against him, shivering violently. Hair brushes her face as he stands, and she curls against a cloth-covered shoulder, breathing in the scent of spicy caramel as pain radiates through every fiber of her body. The relief his heat provides to her is minimal in comparison, but Lizzie welcomes it.
"Thank you," She murmurs with her eyes closed, her voice hoarse and pained.
"Rest," He tells her.
Lizzie is only too happy to comply.
There is a hand on her face, her cheek, her forehead. A male voice hums, and the hand retreats, shifting down to her collarbone and bringing with it a cooling sensation that leaves Lizzie sighing in relief. The pain starts to fade, and the hand retreats, but somehow, even her breathing is easier. She shifts and groans for her aching muscles, feeling grass underneath her and a warm cloth laid over her like a blanket. Curious, Lizzie opens her eyes and looks up at the trees towering overhead, the leafy green branches blotting out the worst of the midday light. Lizzie's eyes are still droopy, and she yawns, turning her head to the side so she can look at the figure next to her.
He is sitting with one leg curled underneath him and the other bent with an arm propped against it. His hair is a vibrant shade of deep blue, longer and wilder than she's ever seen, jutting out in every direction like a chaotic mess. His skin is kind of dark, and when her eyes catch his, they are the same pretty aqua as the markings on his face, and Lizzie finds that she loves it. It might even be her new favorite color.
"Hello," She croaks, trying to smile at him, but her throat starts to itch, and it turns into a cough, instead. She turns her face away and buries it in her arm to cover the cough and then moves to sit up, stopping only when he holds her down with a hand on her shoulder.
"Lie still," He tells her with a frown, his voice rough and stern. "You're not near ready enough to be moving around."
"Okay." Lizzie clears her throat and curls back into the grass on her side, facing him with the cloak-blanket-thing tucked under her chin. "My name is Lizzie. What's yours?"
He huffs and shoots her a stern look. "That includes talking. Go back to sleep."
"But I sleep all the time," Lizzie tells him with a pout. "Can we at least talk for a little bit first? I'll be good, I promise!"
"Suit yourself." He grunts and turns his head to look at the trees around them, dismissive. Lizzie wonders if he really doesn't care, or if he is just pretending.
"Why did you help me?" Lizzie asks, shifting a little closer to him curiously and swallowing another cough before it can come out.
"You called. I came. That's all there is to it." He looks at her briefly, his eyes trailing over her body like he's looking for any sign she's more unwell than she looks. Lizzie is pretty sure she knows what he sees when he looks at her. It's the same thing everyone sees when they look at her.
"How long do I have?" She asks quietly, focusing on the grass in front of her face so she doesn't have to see his face when he answers her. "Before I—" Lizzie bites her tongue, cutting herself off before she can finish.
"Don't be dramatic," He scoffs at her, and Lizzie's heart sinks. "You're not dying. Far from it."
"What?" Lizzie's head snaps up, and she jerks to a sitting position, throwing off the cloak. "What do you mean, I'm not—" Lizzie chokes on her words and swallows, her eyes watering. "How do you know? How can you possibly know that?"
"You really think you're actually dying." He gives her an odd look with his eyebrow raised. "How did you ever come to that conclusion?"
"I've been sick my whole life, as far back as I can remember." Lizzie blinks away the tears and sniffles, settling criss-cross with his cloak thing draped over her lap. "What else am I supposed to think when a hundred different doctors can't figure out why I'm so broken?"
"Stop that." His eyes narrow at her, and Lizzie shrinks a little. "You're not broken."
"If I'm not dying, and I'm not broken," Lizzie says, looking up at him pleadingly, "then what's wrong with me?" He looks at her for a minute without saying anything, at her face and her hair and her scrawny, fragile self, and then, he sighs.
"It's not as big a deal as you think it is," He says finally, turning to look at the trees again, instead of her. "Just magic buildup in your core. All you have to do is expel the excess from time to time, and you'll be fine."
"Magic buildup?" Lizzie blinks, completely dumbstruck. "Wait, I have magic?!"
"Of course you do." He rolls his eyes, glancing at her and then away again. "Magic is life; even people who can't use it have it inside them."
"Wow, really?" Lizzie gasps in awe, scooting closer to him curiously. "So, how does it get built up like that, then? Is it normal?"
"It's not very common," He tells her, turning so his eyes stare directly into hers in that serious way she now realizes is normal for him, "but sometimes, when a child is still growing, their bodies can't tell the difference between a full core and an empty one, and the magic doesn't stop flowing. It self-corrects with time, so you'll grow out of it as you get older and start using your magic."
"So, I'm not broken?" Lizzie is so relieved at the thought that she actually cries.
It feels like a weight lifting from her shoulders.
The next time Lizzie wakes, it is to the sound of something hitting the ground next to her head, and she opens her eyes with a wide yawn. The man is standing by her feet, and she looks over and sees her backpack sitting next to her head. Lizzie gasps and rolls over excitedly, pushing herself up onto her knees.
"My backpack!" She exclaims happily, pulling it into her chest with a large grin. "I thought I'd lost it!" She unhooks the top and flips the lid over, tugging the thing open so she can see inside. "Thank you for finding it for me. Where was it?"
"Nevermind that," He says, diverting the question. "How did you get so far up the mountain all on your own? The nearest human settlement is miles from here."
"I don't know." Lizzie shrugs and shoves her hand into the bag, digging into it for her water bottle. "I was just exploring, and I kinda got lost and I thought I could find a way out if I kept walking. But then I started hurting really bad and had to stop."
"The path you were on would not have taken you back to your human settlements for at least a week or two, assuming you kept straight. This mountain is just one of many. You're lucky the winter snow hasn't hit yet; you'd have frozen to death long before I found you, otherwise."
Lizzie stops and looks up at him oddly. "You talk kinda funny, Mister. Did you know that?" She resumes her search for water.
His eyes narrow. "Don't call me Mister."
Lizzie smiles back at him innocently. "Are you gonna tell me your name?" She makes a noise of success and finally gets her hand around the bottle, some metal canteen thingy she sees the gardeners use sometimes when it's really hot out.
"My name matters little," He tells her, using those funny words again, and Lizzie giggles, twisting off the cap and taking a long drink. "You won't be here long enough to need it, regardless."
Lizzie freezes. "What?" She shoves her bottle back into the bag, standing up to look at him with a frown on her face and her heart racing painfully. "What do you mean by that?"
He raises an eyebrow at her. "You're going home."
"No!" Lizzie exclaims, stomping her foot and shaking her head abruptly. "I can't go home yet! Mommy and Daddy will never believe I'm okay without proof, and then, they'll lock me in my room forever!"
He scoffs, frowning again, and Lizzie hates that her savior is so upset at her. "Just tell them about the magic buildup, and you'll be fine."
"You clearly don't know my parents." Lizzie rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "They're not going to trust the word of some strange mountain man, even if you saved me." He snorts a little, and Lizzie can't help it when her lip quirks up a little at the sound. "Besides, it's better that they don't know about you at all. They'd probably just blame you for this whole thing and put you in jail, or something, and I don't want that to happen." Lizzie shakes her head sternly.
"Is that so?" His mouth tilts up into what almost looks like a real smile, and Lizzie beams excitedly at the sight of it. She thinks he should smile more; it makes him look a little bit nicer and less like a grump. "And why is that?"
"Don't be silly," Lizzie tells him, clasping her hands together and bouncing in place, full of energy. "We're friends now. I don't want my first real friend to go to jail."
Shock flies across his face, and then, it goes blank again. "I don't do friends," He scoffs in a tone that sounds kinda rude to Lizzie and then turns to walk away, "and I don't care about your problems. I have no obligation to help, and first thing tomorrow, you're going home, whether you like it or not." He disappears into the trees without another word, and Lizzie sinks to her knees, burying her face in her hands.
So much for freedom.
"It's so pretty up here," Lizzie says, sitting at a tree not too close to the cliff edge with the man's cloak draped over her lap like a blanket. Red and pink and orange shoot across the sky in the prettiest display she's ever seen up close, and she can even see purple and dark blue off in the distance. "Is that why you're out here in the middle of nowhere?"
"No." He is leaning against a tree just a few feet away from her with his eyes closed, not even bothering to look at the sunset. Lizzie thinks it should be a crime to be so uninterested in something so breathtaking.
"Do you not like sunsets, or something?" Lizzie asks with a frown, twisting so she can see him a little easier.
"I don't see why it's such a big deal," He tells her without opening his eyes, and Lizzie can hear an odd sort of disdain in his voice. "It happens every day."
Lizzie frowns deeper at his words and stands up to walk over to him, leaving his cloak in a pile beside her tree. She stops in front of him and puts her hands on her hips, and he opens his eyes to give her a look that's both bored and curious.
You shouldn't say that," she tells him sternly, squaring her shoulders so he knows she's serious. "Just because it happens every day, doesn't mean that you'll be able to see it every day! You don't know what tomorrow will bring, so you have to enjoy today while you have it," Lizzie's eyes start watering, and she sniffles, trying not to cry, "because nothing is ever certain." Lizzie walks away and sits back down at her tree, turning a little so she can't see him directly and wiping her eyes with her sleeves, sniffling a little.
"Isn't that a little deep for someone so young?" He asks quietly, his voice empty like there's a great big hole where his feelings should be. Lizzie wonders where they all went and what happened to make them go away, but she isn't sure he'd like her bringing it up, so she stays quiet.
For a long time after, there is nothing but silence, and even though Lizzie can feel him looking at her after their odd little talk, she focuses all her attention on the sunset, on the reds and oranges and the purples all fading into deep, dark blue while the stars come out to play one by one and the moon rises over the distant mountains. Lizzie knows it is fully night some time later when all the color is gone from the sky, and the wind that breezes past makes her shiver hard enough to draw the man's cloak thing more firmly around her. Still, she can't tear her eyes away from the sky, from the moon and the stars, can't make herself stop watching the sky she's only allowed to look at through a window. It's never felt this close before, like she can just reach out and touch the sky with her bare hands. It's the prettiest sight Lizzie has ever seen, and she wishes this moment, this peace, could last forever.
"Get up." Something nudges her side, and Lizzie wakes with a start, confused.
"What is it?" She asks with a yawn, blinking at the bright morning light and rubbing her eyes as she pushes herself up so she's sitting. She yawns again and looks over, expecting him to be standing over her like last time, but she is surprised to see him sitting calmly next to her with that same serious look on his face as always. "Good morning," She says, shooting him a sleepy smile as she shifts so she's sitting criss-cross just like him, pulling his cloak tighter around her shoulders to ward off the morning chill.
"Before I take you home," He says, and Lizzie sits up straighter, shock jolting through her at his words, and she can't believe she almost forgot this part, "I will teach you how to expel the buildup on your own."
"Uh…" Lizzie blinks and tilts her head, suddenly unsure. "That's a good thing, right?"
"Do you do want proof you're not dying, or not?" He frowns at her like she said something wrong, and Lizzie shifts nervously, biting her lip and trying not to show just how confused she really is. He scoffs and keeps going. "Expelling the magic buildup means it won't hurt you anymore, and you'll stop getting sick," He says, and Lizzie's face lights up at the realization. "Even if they believe nothing else, not even your foolish parents can deny your recovery if they can actually see it happening with their own eyes."
"Really?!" Lizzie bounces in place and smiles up at him, excitement and hope filling up her heart until it feels like she might burst. "That's so awesome!" Lizzie cheers loudly and jumps forward, throwing herself at him and landing roughly in his lap, curling her arms around his neck in the tightest hug she can manage. Somehow, it still doesn't feel like enough. "You're the best! Thank you so much!" He jerks underneath her and goes stiff, but Lizzie is too happy to think on it much, tilting her face so she can smile at him from up close, laughing excitedly with her head squished against his bare shoulder. His face is twisted into something both odd and deeply awkward, and Lizzie realizes with a start that she's made him uncomfortable.
"Oh my Gosh, I'm so sorry!" She exclaims, pulling back and sliding off his lap, curling her arms around herself awkwardly while her face burns in shame. She can't believe she jumped on him like that! "That was rude, wasn't it? I should have asked first; Miss Spetto says that not everyone likes being touched, so you gotta be sure first or you might hurt their feelings and just make everything worse instead of better!"
He makes a little grunting noise and stands up, his face shifting back to that stern, guarded look he is always giving her. "Let's just go," He says, grabbing his cloak from the ground and swinging it back over his shoulders as he walks off into the trees around them. "We have a lot of work to do if you're going to learn this before you return to your parents."
Lizzie nods furiously even though he can't see her face and rushes to follow him, stumbling over the ground at her feet and gasping as she catches herself on a tree. "Wait, I'm coming!"
End
And that's it! That's everything I had written up already that was polished enough to actually post here, even temporarily. I know there are a couple of scenes that are just dialogue, but hopefully, they were easy enough to understand. I think I wrote them that way to start with because it sometimes helps to start things off that way and then add in everything else when I rewrite the scene later.
These scenes are my parting gift to all of you still here with me on this journey with Carpe Diem. I do intend to come back to this someday and begin reposting, but until then, I hope you enjoyed reading these scenes as much as I enjoyed writing them.
Goodbye for now.