You guys are incredibly lucky that I found the energy to post this chapter. I'm like literally dead on my feet. I've been working all weekend, and that means cash for me, but my body isn't too happy about that…

I got the title from a line in the beginning of the movie Super Troopers, because that part is freaking HILARIOUS! But nothing from Super Troopers will appear in this fic ever. Maybe just Tony watching the beginning with Kate. On a side note, a couple of years ago my dad got to meet the Commandant of the Vermont State Police for a work related conference and was this close to asking him if he'd ever seen the movie, and then the Commandant had to leave for something and then he never got to ask him.

You recognize them and they're not mine. I own Kate, Maria Jose, Fernando and Jay-Jay. Everybody else belongs to CBS.

Kate if fifteen in this chapter which is post Hiatus, I messed up the math and I'm too lazy to go back and fix it, so bear with me!

Read and Review please! (For those of you who don't speak Spanish. There will be translations at the end of the chapter)

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Fifteen year old Kate Gibbs snuggled down deeper into her quilt and sleeping bag as her bed rocked back and forth in an effort to try to get back to sleep as she tried to drown out the slightly drunken ramblings of her godfather from the next room. Apparently some idiot had tried to pick Mike's pocket at the Cantina the night before, big mistake on that guy's part. Jethro had stepped in as quickly as possible to keep Mike from beating the younger man into a bloody pulp and hauled Mike's drunken ass home faster than you can say "Semper Fi."

Kate leaned to her left and saw that her little alarm clock was indicating it was eight AM. She'd stayed up until three just watching the stars and meteors. Kate finally understood why her Uncle Mike loved it in Baja; there was no light or noise pollution, nobody cussing and swearing at other drivers outside of her window, and best of all was that there were no nosey neighbors trying to figure out why Mike had two visitors from El Norte. Kate loved the little house on the beach because for the most part she could sleep on the deck if she wanted to. She had, in fact for almost three straight weeks until rumors of drug runners came down the coast and Mike actually started locking his doors at night. Since then Kate had found herself sleeping in a hammock in shoe box sized 'room'. Kate was convinced it was a closet with a window.

Kate didn't mind it too much anymore, she kept the window cracked and the combination of her hammock's rocking and the sounds of the waves crashing on shore just soothed her to sleep within minutes of getting into bed. It was paradise, well until the one day a month Mike got drunk and woke up with a nasty hangover. Jethro had made him cut back on his binge drinking now that Kate was staying with them for the summer.

"Buenas días, Señores!" Kate rubbed her eyes as she heard Maria Jose enter the house with that week's groceries and supplies. Kate liked Maria Jose because she didn't put up with Mike's crap and grouchy attitude. If Mike gave her crap, MJ gave it right back.

"Hola, Maria Jose." Jethro said.

"Donde esta mi chica blanca favorita?" María asked.

"En mi cuarto!" Kate called out as she skillfully climbed out of the hammock. Kate had quickly picked up on Spanish, and could carry on a full conversation with the locals.

Maria opened the door wider and Kate hugged the robust woman. "How are you?" Maria asked in English.

"I'm good." Kate replied. "How is su hijo?"

Maria Jose beamed when Kate mentioned her three year old son, Fernando. "He's very well, thank you for asking! Yesterday we talked for almost hour with 'big boy words'." Maria said excitedly. "He is growing big, no?"

"He is." Kate said as she thought of her two year old brother, Jay-Jay, back in Washington, D.C. "That's pretty cool he's using full sentences."

"Yo sé, chica." María said. "I need to go home to check on Fernando. Would you like me to bring magazines from El Norte?"

Kate nodded. "People y Star por favor."

"I see what I can do." Maria said as she headed for the front door. "Adios!"

A chorus of bilingual partings followed the woman as she left. Kate began to paw through the box Maria had set on the counter in the living room/kitchen/dining room/anything room that made up most of the house.

"Ooh!" Kate exclaimed happily as she came across a package addressed to her. "Mail from Abby!"

Mike sent a half hearted glare at his goddaughter as he nursed his coffee, opened the Mexican equivalent of Tylenol, and watched as she enthusiastically tore open the brown USPS box.

"What's in this care package?" Jethro asked his daughter as he saw the size of the box Abby had sent.

"Uh…" Kate said as she ripped the envelope off of the front and led the list of stuff Abbs had sent. "Oreos, a couple of issues of Seventeen from Becky, some Entertainment Weeklies from Tony, my summer reading book I hid under the boat from Mom, sunscreen, she says it's SPF 50, some US dollars to exchange for pesos, some more US dollars to not exchange and flaunt in front of the those punks in town who think they're better than me, and 'a furry friendly surprise'." Kate said as she read the list out loud.

"Wonder what the surprise is."Mike said with a smirk. "I'd say that Abby misses the both of you."

"Of course she does, Uncle Mike!" Kate chirped loudly as she purposely increased the volume of her voice to annoy her godfather. "Abby loves us."

Jethro just smirked as he sipped his coffee and watched his daughter and former boss interact. It was almost like the Saturdays that Mike used to come over and spend time with Kate. Almost, the only different thing now was that Mike was hung-over, and Kate wasn't a little baby anymore. Underneath the gruff exterior Mike showed to the world was a soft old man who loved to spoil the teenage girl in front of him rotten. "Open it." Jethro said "Knowing Abby she probably sent you a baby bat or a kitten."

Kate frantically tore the lid off of the box and sighed when she saw the gray backside in the box. "Oh thank, God." Kate said. "It's just Bert."

"Bert?" Mike asked confused.

"Bert?" Jethro echoed dumfounded. "Abby actually let Bert out of the country? She freaks whenever Tony tries to bring him to Jay-Jay in Jen's office."

"Wait, this isn't Bert!" Kate exclaimed as she extracted the stuffed hippo from the box. The hippo Kate was holding had a pink bow wrapped around one ear. Kate set the hippo down on the counter next to the box and it was facing Jethro and Mike. It had the same goofy smile that Bert had. "According to the note Abby attached to our friend here, this is Bertha, Bert's girlfriend and my newest companion." Kate handed the letter to Jethro to finish reading as she inspected the studded collar that adorned Bertha's neck. Engraved on a silver plate near the snap was the name Bertha in a delicate script with a skull and cross bone next to it. She experimentally poked the hippo's backside causing it to loudly emit the 'Pfft' farting noise that Bert was famous around NCIS for.

Mike's chair toppled over backwards and the older man lay on the floor. "What in the hell was that?" he moaned.

"Bertha!" Kate said gleefully as she scooped up the hippo and practically bounced back to her room as she mentally began her thank you note to Abby. "Oh, and Uncle Mike." Kate said as she paused in the doorway.

"Yeah?" The retired Marine said gruffly as he righted his chair.

"That's why you're not supposed to lean your chair backwards like that." Kate said as Jethro got up and handed her Bertha's box and she closed the door.

Jethro's guffaw made Mike whirl around and growl, "Can it, Probie!"

~o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

Almost two months later Kate found herself sitting in an empty room that looked suspiciously like an interrogation room at Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C. Kate sat with her arms crossed across her chest slumped in her seat with her legs up on the table and her flip flops were on the floor by her chair. Kate wished that security hadn't grabbed her bag as she went through Customs, but they had, and Kate found herself isolated at the airport.

"Finally!" Kate said as the door opened and two men entered the room and did a double take at the occupant. "Look I don't know why you're holding me here. I mean, I've been searched like eight times between Mexico City and Washington DC. And guess what? No knives, guns, explosives, or drugs! So can I go now?"

"Caitlin Gibbs?" The shorter and more robust of the two men asked incredulously.

"That's me." Kate replied as she put her feet down and sat up. "Why am I being held here against my will without a child advocate, my mother or lawyer?" she asked sweetly. "I haven't done anything wrong, unless this is Uncle Toby's way of saying 'Welcome Home Kate!'. Because this isn't fun if he asked you to detain me."

The taller man with black hair looked from the file to Kate and back. "Are you aware that there's a folder on your movements from the past two years filed at Homeland Security?"

"Yeah." Kate said. "I'm the daughter of the director of a Federal Agency. It's kinda necessary to keep me safe if you geniuses know where I am at all times. You are from Homeland Security and this isn't some terrorist plan to make NCIS pay like a bazillion dollars for my ransom, right?" Kate asked as her overactive imagination kicked in.

"We are from Homeland Security." Flunky One, Kate decided to call him 'Tubby', said as he watched the girl.

"Coolio." Kate said. "Then you can call Tom Morrow or Tobias Fornell and ask them to vouch for me and I can go. Easy as pie." Kate got up from her chair and headed for the door. "Can I have my backpack back so I can go home?"

"Not so fast, Miss." Flunky Two, now dubbed 'Skinny', Kate couldn't think of another good name for him, said as he pointed back to her recently vacated chair. "Sit back down."

"What's going on?" Kate asked nervously as she did what was instructed. "Is my Mom okay? Did somebody try to kill her? Oh my God! Dad's still in Baja! He won't know for like two weeks if something happened to Mom!"

"Your mother is fine, Miss Gibbs…"Flunky One said as the door to the room burst open and Tobias Fornell stood in the doorway looking more pissed off than Kate had ever seen him.

"What the HELL is going on in here?" Tobias demanded as Kate gleefully squealed:

"Hiya, Uncle Toby!"

The two flunkies looked from Kate to Fornell and back. "Uncle Toby?" they echoed in unison.

"I asked you a question, Sullivan!" Fornell barked at Flunky Two.

Sullivan cleared his throat nervously. "Well, uh…Sir… We had orders to detain this passenger when Customs suspected she was smuggling explosives from Mexico to the United States."

"WHAT?" Kate exploded. "In what? I mean I'm lucky if my dad let's me pick up a pocket knife, but explosives? That's a good one, guys. Can I go now?"

"In a minute." Fornell said as he wheeled on Tubby. "Who gave these orders, and on what grounds?"

"The Customs officer smelled gunpowder and there was a metal used in explosives making that set off the x-ray alarms." Tubby explained as he tried to read the file without dropping everything.

"Kate," Tobias said as he turned to her. "Can you explain that?"

"Ummm…."Kate said. "Abby sent me a stuffed hippo, her name's Bertha, and Bertha has a studded collar, and I haven't washed her yet, so she still smells like Abby's gunpowder perfume, and I don't know what kind of metal is in the studded collar. Mom's probably worried about me, and I wanna go home."

Fornell sighed. "Where's her stuff?"

"Being searched, Sir." Tubby replied nervously. "The search dogs are double checking to make sure we didn't miss anything like drugs…"

"WHAT!!!!" Kate said. "Me smuggle drugs? Obviously you didn't read my jacket through and through boys. I live with two Federal Agents, have a Federal Agent from NCIS that tails me around DC, my pseudo family are all employees of Federal Agencies, and I go to a Catholic School. Drugs do not go well with that equation, fellas. I'll be getting my bag and the hell out of here, now."

"Language." Fornell said as he opened the door to let Kate out.

"Sorry, Uncle Toby." Kate said as she exited the interrogation room.

"You two." Fornell said as he looked at Sullivan and Tubby. "Stay here until I come back to speak to you. That's an order."

The two men glanced at each other before swallowing nervously as Kate stuck her tongue out and the door closed with an ominous snap. "So, was this your idea of fun, or was this for real?"

"For real." Fornell said with a sigh. Kate was practically running to keep up with Tobias's long strides.

"Can you slow down?" Kate asked.

"Sorry." Fornell said as he slowed the pace. "I'm just a little…"

"Ticked off." Kate finished for him. "I get that. How did you find out?"

"Morrow called Jenny and Jenny called me." Fornell said. "Morrow found out as soon as the name 'Gibbs' came through for files requested, he called Jenny to let her know you wouldn't be coming out with the rest of your flight, and you were being detained by Homeland Security. Jenny called me, fuming mind you, because she knew I would be here at Dulles today, and I came in and pulled you out of there before Thing One and Thing Two seriously screw up FBI NCIS relations."

Kate nodded. "Typical FBI flunkies."

"You're spending too much time with NCIS Agents." Fornell groaned as he led Kate through a maze of corridors and to a waiting room where Jenny, Jay-Jay, and their security detail awaited.

"Hey, that's what I get for having two parents, two, no three pseudo brothers, and three pseudo sisters employed by NCIS." Kate replied innocently as Tobias opened a door marked 'EVIDENCE' and motioned her inside.

"Three pseudo sisters?" Tobias asked. "I get Abby, and Ziva, but who's the third?"

"Kate Todd." Kate replied sadly. "I miss her, Uncle Toby."

"I know you do, Squirt." Fornell replied as he knocked on the window to Evidence Lock Up. "I need the bag that Sullivan and Duhamel brought in for the Gibbs investigation."

The clerk nodded and disappeared. She reappeared a moment later and handed the evidence box to Tobias. The FBI Agent signed for it, opened it up and handed the bag to Kate. "Anything missing?" he asked her.

"Where's Bertha?" Kate demanded when she couldn't find the hippo in her giant backpack.

"Where's her hippo?" Fornell asked the clerk.

"Security still has it." The clerk said. "It's at the front desk." She added as she checked the computer.

"Thanks." Fornell said as they left.

Kate and Fornell approached the Security desk after what seemed like forever to Kate, and Kate smiled politely at the man, Tibbs, at the desk. Kate had to stop herself from laughing as she thought of the Thom E. Gemcity book her dad had bought her when she had flown down to Mexico.

"We're here to pick up Bertha." Fornell said as he flashed his FBI and Homeland Security badges at Tibbs.

The security guard nodded. "Bertha have a last name?"

"Bertha's a hippo." Kate said as she pulled her sun bleached hair out of her face and into a ponytail. "Hippo's don't have last names. Duh."

"A hippo." Tibbs said uncertainly.

"Yeah." Kate said. "She's about three feet tall, stuffed, studded collar, pink bow on her left ear."

"Oh! That hippo." Tibbs said as he reached under the counter and handed Kate her stuffed animal back. "Here you go kiddo."

"Don't call me kiddo." Kate said as she scooped up Bertha and gave her a squeeze. Bertha happily farted in response.

"What was that?" Tibbs asked as he looked around to see what had caused the noise. Kate squeezed Bertha again and giggled as the poor Security guard looked around in confusion yet again. Kate stood off to the side as Tibbs struck up a conversation with Fornell. After a few minutes Kate squeezed Bertha for a third time.

"Kate!" Fornell said to her. "Knock it off."

"Sorry, Uncle Toby." Kate said. "I just missed Bertha."

Fornell shook his head.

"That was the hippo?" Tibbs asked.

"Yeah." Kate said. "She farts. Big whop."

"Kate!" Kate turned and saw her St. Bernard like Body Guard, Alex an NCIS Special Agent, heading their way.

"Hey, Alex!" Kate called out as she waved to him. "You ready to blow this popsicle stand?" she asked once Alex was next to her.

The NCIS agent laughed and saw the hippo Kate was clinging too. "Did Abby send you Bert?"

"Nope." Kate replied as she popped the 'p'. "This is Bertha. She's Bert's girlfriend, but I bet by the end of the year there will be mini farting hippos looking for a home."

Alex and Fornell laughed. "I'll take one for Emily." Fornell told his pseudo niece. "You two good for now?"

Kate nodded. "I think so."

"Alright." Fornell said. "I need to get back to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber. I'll see you late, Kate."

"Bye, Uncle Toby." Kate said as she hugged him. "I owe you one."

"I'll collect by asking you to babysit Emily this Friday." Fornell said as he patted the girl on her head. "Can you do it?"

"Sure." Kate said. "Just give Mom a call and let her know where and when."

Tobias nodded and said, "I'll see you later then."

Kate waved one more time before she let Alex lead her away from the Security Desk.

"So, what I miss this summer Al?" Kate asked as Alex took her backpack from her.

"Nothing much. You have any other bags?" Alex asked.

Kate shook her head 'no'. "I was in Mexico, Alex. I lived in my bathing suit and shorts all summer. Hence the million freckles, slight tan, and very light hair color. Plus I left my other stuff that wouldn't fit with Dad." Kate added. "He's going to mail it up to me in a few days."

Alex nodded. "So you want to hear about Tony being the boss?"

"YES!" Kate exclaimed. "I'm a little upset that I left before I got see him in action, but I had like a ton of fun with Dad and Uncle Mike this summer."

Kate saw Jenny holding on to an anxious Jay-Jay before Jay-Jay saw her.

"Jay-Jay!" Kate called out and the toddler's head whipped around and his blue eyes darted across the crowed searching for his big sister.

"KATE-KATE!" Jay-Jay cried when his eyes settled on his big sister. He squirmed and Jenny let the boy down. Once his feet hit the ground, Jay-Jay took off running.

Kate felt the little body collide with her legs and she scooped the boy up and hugged him with her free arm. "Did you miss me, Munchkin?"

Jay-Jay nodded yes as his gaze settled on the Hippo in Kate's other hand. "Who dat?" he asked her as he pointed at Bertha.

"This is Bertha." Kate told him as she carried him out of the airport and into the waiting SUV. "She's Bert's girlfriend. They're going to get married and have baby hippos."

"Berfa, Berfa, Berfa!" Jay-jay chanted happily. "Is she for me?"

"Nope." Kate said. "Bertha's mine, Buddy."

Jay-Jay's face fell. "Oh…"

Kate smiled softly at her brother as she buckled the little boy into his car seat. "Daddy's bringing back a lot of presents for you, though."

"DADDY!" Jay-Jay squealed loudly causing everyone except for Alex to wince at the volume of the toddler's voice. Alex was driving today, and was wearing ear plugs, not the smartest idea ever, but it kept his mind on driving and looking back to see if someone was either tickling or killing the toddler. "When's he commin' home Mama?"

"In two weeks." Jenny said happily. "The team doesn't know yet. They think Jethro's retired for good and is being a…" Jenny paused and then spelled out, "B-A-S-T-A-R-D, by not coming home with you today."

Kate nodded and she handed Jay-Jay Bertha to play with. "So what did you do while me and Daddy were on vacation, Munchkin?"

"I played with Tony." Jay-Jay said as he squeezed Bertha to see if she farted. He happily shrieked when he discovered the hippo did fart. "Tony gets to play Daddy at work cuz Daddy is stayin' with Unca Mikey in Mexico."

"What else?" Kate asked as Alex steered the SUV towards St. Barbara's in DC. Abby, with the help of the Sisters, was throwing a 'Welcome Home Kate!' bash in her honor that day, and they were already two hours late thanks to Kate's little detour courtesy of Homeland Security's finest idiot.

"Me and Tony painted a tree house!" Jay-Jay said happily. "He said that the house used to yours and Daddy's afore he met Mama and they had me."

Kate nodded. "What color did you paint my old tree house?"

Jay-Jay's blue eyes grew ridiculously large. "It's your tree house!"

"Mmhhmmm." Kate said in confirmation. "What color is it?"

"Green!" Jay-Jay said. "It's mine and Tony's favoritest color ever!"

"It is? I thought your favoritest color ever was red like a fire engine!" Kate said in mock horror. "Oh what ever will I do with the fire engine poncho I bought you?"

Jay-Jay didn't know what a poncho was, but the fact that his big sister had bought him a present that was fire engine red, his favoritest color before she and Daddy went to Unca Mikey's for the summer. Tony had bought green paint at the store and Jay-Jay fell in love with green because it was Tony's favorite color, and Jay-Jay seemed to follow the NCIS Special Agent around like a lost little puppy ever since Jethro had abruptly left. Jay-Jay sighed. "I guess red and green are my favoritest colors ever."

"That's good." Kate said with a smile as she ruffled her little brother's fine red hair. "Those are Christmas colors."

"Weally?" Jay-Jay asked as he looked up at his sister with wide eyes.

"Mmhhmmm." Kate said as she signed a question to her mom on Jay-Jay's right. The toddler's car seat was in the middle of the second row, with his sister on the left and mother on the right. In the driver's seat and the passenger's seat were armed NCIS Agents, and one in the third row who watched the cars around them carefully.

Kate was signing 'Does Abby know that we're going to be late?'

Jenny nodded in confirmation before she responded in rapid fire French. "Yes, I called her from the airport and told her that you had a slight problem getting Bertha's collar through Customs."

Kate rolled her eyes as Jay-Jay babbled on about an adventure he and Bert had taken during the summer in the ballistics lab to Alex's partner, Demitri.

Kate signed back, 'What did she have to say about that?'

"She's incredibly sorry, and will make it up to you in some spectacular way." Jenny replied in French yet again. Signing and speaking in a foreign language around Jay-Jay was the easiest and most convenient way to hold an important conversation. Jethro and Jenny still spoke in Russian around Kate, only because Kate couldn't speak the language and had no desire to learn it, yet.

Out loud Kate said, "She's probably gone out and bought me the newest iPod model and some ridiculous amount iTunes card and is going to give them to me later this week or something."

"That's over kill," Jenny said in English.

"I know." Kate said. "But, it's Abby. So I wouldn't put it past her."

Jenny nodded. "You're right, and we're here."

"Tony, Tony, Tony!" Jay-Jay said when he saw Tony standing outside of the Church Hall. "And Timmy!" Jay-Jay said when McGee stepped out to speak to Tony.

"I missed these guys." Kate told Jenny as she unbuckled her little brother. "Who knew that three months away from this whack job family would make me miss them as much as I did?"

"How much did you miss us?" Jenny asked as she watched Kate expertly hoist Jay-Jay up and hole the boy at her waist. Kate wasn't giving her brother to anyone else to hold after being separated from him for three months.

"I'm never putting Jay-Jay down," the little boy cheered upon hearing this. "I'm never going to complain about Tony being a butt head ever again. I'm not going to interrupt Tim when he's rambling in techno babble, I'm going to sit in Autopsy and listen to every word of one of Ducky's incredibly long winded stories even if he's doing an autopsy. I'll go see Abby and voluntarily be a test dummy without complaining. And I'll never ever complain about going to Mass at midnight with Abby when it's offered." Kate said to her mother as they walked up the long walk way to the hall. "I'm gonna stop complaining about Alex cramping my style, and I promise to try and stop purposely losing him in the mall. I'm not gonna sneak over to Becky's when I'm supposed to be helping Dad with the boat, I'll clean my room without you asking me to, and I promise not to complain about Holy Days of Obligation anymore and I won't complain about CCD and Mrs. Mavis' large mole that distracts me during Theology, and…"

"Alright." Jenny said as she laughed. "I get it. You missed home."

"A ton." Kate said as she moved Jay-Jay to her other hip and waved to Tony and McGee. "I don't ever wanna go on a vacation without you guys ever again."

Jenny laughed and kissed Kate's temple. "Guess what?"

"What, Mom?"

"I missed you just as much." Jenny replied and enveloped her daughter in a hug. "Welcome Home, Katie-Kins."

"I missed you so much, Mom!" Kate said as she hugged Jenny back with one arm. The touching moment was ruined as soon as Jay-Jay squeezed Bertha and she farted.

"Jay-Jay!" Jenny and Kate groaned in unison.

"Sowy." The toddler said with a smile.

The two Gibbs women separated, and looked at the littlest Gibbs. "Tickle war?" Jenny asked Kate as she surveyed the guilty smirk on her son's face.

"Tickle War." Kate confirmed.

Jay-Jay's eyes grew wide again in wide horror. He wasn't a big fan of Tickle Wars; especially since he was generally the victim…

"Tony! Timmy!" Jay-Jay squealed. "Save me! It's a Tickle War!"

Kate put the boy down to give him a chance to escape, and waited a couple of seconds before she scooped up the dropped hippo and chased after her brother. It was good to be home.

~o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

"Buenas días, Señores!" – Good day Sirs

Hola – Hello

Donde esta mi chica blanca favorita? – Where is my favorite white girl?

En mi cuarto – In my room

Hijo – son

Yo sé, chica – I know, girl

El Norte – The North (The United States)

Y – and

Por favor – please

I don't think I missed any of the Spanish words, but if I did, PM me or leave a review and I'll let you know what it means if you're too lazy to look it up online. I'm too lazy to translate the French stuff, only because I took about twelve years of Spanish, (they started us on French and Spanish in Kindergarten in my city, and the Spanish stuck with me…) and I still know a ton of it fluently.

So leave a review and tell me what you thought!

Oh, and a big thank you to NCIS Lover for that lovely comment you left me! I would have sent you a PM, but you weren't logged in. Oh well, thank you again!

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