Chapter 11: And the Winner is…

By the time Summer got back to Starlight Mansion, it was light outside. Jerrica was sitting in the living room with Ollie, and as Summer came in, she got up to greet the girl – but Summer instantly smelled the alcohol on Jerrica's breath.

"Have you honestly been drinking?" she asked Jerrica annoyedly. "You're telling me you're fucked up right now?"

"I might be out a couple," Jerrica mumbled truthfully.

Summer glanced down at her watch, then stared back at Jerrica. "Are you kidding me? It's eight in the morning." Even though Summer had gotten drunk several times herself in the past, she'd never been drunk in the morning, only ever at night – and sure, today was Saturday, but what difference did that make?

"Yep," Jerrica shrugged idiotically. Noticing the bottle in Jerrica's hand for the first time, Summer snatched it away from her and went to go put it in the kitchen.

Jerrica was absentmindedly playing with Ollie again when Summer came back into the living room a few minutes later with yet another coffee in her hand; taking a seat on the couch, she grabbed her laptop off the coffee table to do some college homework. Summer had had plenty of sleepless nights at college before (whether that had been because of homework, late-night shifts, or fulfilling some frat boy's kinky fantasy for a little extra money), so why should this be any different? She was used to it, honestly.

Summer worked in moody silence for a few minutes. Jerrica kept playing with the cat, although she thankfully didn't have any more drinks, seeing as she was plastered enough already. The previous night (or rather, earlier that morning), Summer had texted Jerrica the news about her upcoming tour plans and being nominated for three Grammys with the intention of Jerrica seeing the text in the morning. Obviously, though, the news had been received earlier than intended – and not very well received, either, judging from Jerrica's state.

"So, you're nominated for three Grammys, that's fucking great," Jerrica suddenly muttered out of the blue.

Summer didn't even look up from her computer, feeling wary of the jealous tone in Jerrica's voice. "Thank you…"

"By the way, Kimber called me," Jerrica rambled on. "They want the five of us original Holograms to perform some of our songs at the Grammys, like a group reunion or some shit, so…"

"Great," Summer answered without much inflection in her voice.

"Yeah, we're heading out to San Francisco for about a week soon to do an interview about it. But the point is, you got nominated, so that's great…but I'm just still tryin' to figure it out, that's all."

Summer finally looked up from her laptop. "Figure what out?"

"'You'd play your flute, and I'd get up and dance'? What the hell's up with that?" Jerrica asked, quoting Summer's song. "And that pole-dancing bullshit, what was that all about?"

Summer stared back at her. "What are you saying, that my lyrics and my dancing…?"

"'Your bitch is still gonna have your back'? What…?" Jerrica went on.

Summer couldn't help rolling her eyes in irritation. "Yeah, that's my song. Remember? I told you, 'Five Letters' was a song addressed to each of my boyfriends from high-school, basically about how much they hurt me; as for the pole-dancing, I mentioned that I could do it one time a while back, and my dance instructor decided I should do some routines for part of my Chat Show performance. What about it?"

"I fucking listened to that song over and over again in the video of your performance on The Chat Show's YouTube channel on the fucking…" Jerrica stopped, staring drunkenly off into space.

"You're not making any sense," Summer told her. With that, she put her laptop down and went to go take her empty coffee mug out to the kitchen; Jerrica followed her, getting out another liquor bottle and pouring herself a glass of something or other.

"Oh yeah, right, just keep drinking," Summer said shortly as she rinsed out her mug. "As if that'll ever help you!"

When Jerrica spoke again after chugging from her glass, her speech was more slurred than before. "I dunno, I just…maybe I just fucking failed you…"

Summer could hardly believe her ears. "WHAT?!"

Jerrica rambled on, "That just kills me, and I'm sorry…"

"Failed me?!" Summer exploded, cutting Jerrica off.

"Yeah, 'cause you're being embarrassing, and it's just…"

Summer slammed her empty mug down on the counter and turned to face Jerrica squarely. "I'm being EMBARRASSING?!"

"Yeah, and it's just…you know…I had to tell you…"

"I'm not fucking embarrassing, you're embarrassing!" Summer spluttered, staring in disbelief at Jerrica. "And you know something, you're so fucking embarrassed of yourself that now you're trying to put me down!"

"You're worried that you're ugly, though, and you're not – I'm just tryin' to tell you that, but now you're tryin' to get all this fucking approval from all these other people," Jerrica muttered. "Why can't I be enough for you as, like, basically your mentor?"

Summer glared at Jerrica. "I don't need 'approval'; what I'd like is for the woman I've looked up to for years to not be an asshole to me! Oh, and now you're calling yourself my mentor like I'm your apprentice or something? Really?!"

"Yeah, I'm your mentor. What else would you really call me?"

"Gee, I don't know…how about a huge pain in my ass?"

"A pain in the ass, huh? Wow; that hurts."

"Yeah, you're a pain in the ass – and you're also not my fucking mentor."

"Well, what else can you call me? I mean, I'm the one who basically got you up onstage and into the spotlight –"

"Holy shit, Kimber was right: fame really has gone to your head over the years, and I can't believe I was too blind to see it before!"

"I don't even know what that fucking means," Jerrica grumbled.

"It means 'get your shit together, 'cause you're a fucking mess'," Summer snapped. "That's what it means!"

"Okay, that definitely isn't true."

"Oh, it's not, huh?"

"Mm-mm." Jerrica shook her head.

"Whatever." Grabbing the bottle Jerrica had left on the counter, Summer poured some of its contents into her mug. "You just want me to be your drinking buddy forever or something?" she asked caustically. "Always below you, but never doing any better than the Holograms ever did? Huh?"

"Yeah, you probably couldn't handle it," Jerrica answered, grabbing the bottle from Summer's hand and topping up her own glass.

"You think so? We'll see about that." Summer tipped her head back and drained half of her mug's contents, wincing as the strong alcohol burned her throat.

"I'm just saying, you're too worried about what everyone else is thinking…" Jerrica started mumbling.

"Oh, here we go; here we go," Summer interrupted, rolling her eyes again. Jerrica kept on rambling almost incoherently about how she'd helped Summer get to where she was now and how Summer was doing anything it took to get people to like her, but Summer didn't even hear (or care) about half of what Jerrica was saying. "Here we go, Jerrica; you want me to be your mom and clean up after you, or are you trying to be my mom since I don't know my real mom, or are you just jealous 'cause I'm the one who got three Grammy nominations while the Holograms haven't released an album in God knows how many years…?"

"You could honestly never be as iconic as the Holograms if you fucking tried," Jerrica replied bitterly. "The five of us – Kimber, Aja, Shana, Raya, and me – we had more talent in our fingers than you have in your whole fucking body, so don't even go there about that, alright? That's over the fucking line!"

"Why don't you just have a few more drinks, so you can get fucking drunk until you forget everything and just fucking disappear, okay?" Summer spat. "Oh, and by the way, you still got any pills in your pocket?"

"Seriously, though, you'll do anything to get people to like you; like, you'll even blow a few guys just like those ones on your campus –"

"I what?!"

"Yeah, you told me how those guys at your college would pay you to get 'em laid – not sure why they did, though, 'cause those record guys were right, you're not even really that pretty."

Summer stared at Jerrica incredulously. Out of everything she'd said, those comments about her past and her looks stung the most – especially since Jerrica had said when they'd first met that she thought Summer was pretty, and since Summer hadn't enjoyed offering herself to guys on campus to sleep with them, and had only done it because she'd been desperate for money.

When Summer finally found her voice again, she just blurted out two words: "Fuck off!"

Without even waiting for Jerrica to respond, Summer brushed past her, mug still in hand, and stormed back out into the living room to grab her laptop. As she made for the stairs and started heading up, Jerrica stumbled out into the hall to the bottom of the stairs. "I'm just saying…"

"I SAID TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, YOU GODDAMN BITCH!" Summer yelled over her shoulder. With that, she turned and ran the rest of the way up the stairs to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Safely in her room again, Summer slumped furiously down at her desk with her laptop and mug of liquor. Opening up her laptop again to try and continue her work, she gulped down the last of the alcohol in a couple sips; she would've liked to go down to get a re-fill in an effort to calm her nerves, but she didn't want to face Jerrica again for a while, especially while Jerrica was so drunk.

Glancing down at the empty mug, Summer looked at the illustration of the "Jem and the Holograms" cartoon on it – an original merch mug from the 80s. Suddenly, with a cry of outrage, Summer hurled the mug at the wall, watching it smash and fall to the floor, and then buried her head in her arms, too frustrated and upset to keep working right now.

The next day, Jerrica drove out to San Francisco to do the interview with the Holograms she'd mentioned: just a week out there and then they'd be home again. This meant that when Summer wasn't at the Alliance Records studio for her dance rehearsals or to help with planning her U.S. tour, she had Starlight Mansion all to herself.

During the next few days, however, Summer honestly liked being at Alliance Records more than being back at Starlight Mansion; at least she had things to do there that kept her especially busy and took her mind off of her fight with Jerrica. On this particular day, she was helping to design some hologram stage costumes with Devon and Brett (who'd been signed on to help with the Synergy tech on Summer's U.S. tour); so far, it was one of her favourite parts of tour planning.

"I like the knee-high boots…" she muttered as she looked over one of her designs.

"Hmm, good call," Brett commented.

Summer smiled up at him. "Thanks." Turning back to Devon, she went on, "I like the boots, but I think it might be better if I wore something shorter with them – or maybe some sort of see-through skirt, y'know?"

"Right. Got it," Devon replied. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Summer laughed. "Relax, I'm good – what are you worried about?"

"I know it can get tiring sometimes…"

"We are planning my U.S. tour, though, so I'm fucking great!" Summer reassured Devon.

Later that day, however, she finally told Brett over coffee about the fight she'd had with Jerrica. Summer found it especially comforting to talk to him about struggles with Jerrica (either in-person or over text), since he'd known her basically all his life and could offer advice and sympathy better than her dad or her friends back in San Diego really could.

"Who do you think was right?" she asked him.

"Oh, definitely you – A, she was drunk, and B, she shouldn't have said those things about you," Brett replied.

"Exactly what I thought," Summer answered. "Look, you've practically known Jerrica since you were a kid; has she ever really been like this before?"

Brett thought for a moment. "She's been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, but I've never heard of her acting like this before. Then again, it's been getting worse over the last decade or so."

"So, what was the situation with your family and her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I got the sense that your dad and Jerrica eventually reconciled after their divorce and she stayed friends with him and your mom, but was she always in such close-contact with you guys?"

"Yeah, she was pretty chummy with my parents by the time I was around," Brett answered. "I remember her coming over for dinner a lot, and she was almost like a second mom to me. My mom got to know her pretty well, and they were always good friends." He laughed a little. "I guess I might've had Jem as my mom in an alternate universe."

Summer sighed, staring numbly out the coffee-shop window. "I really want her to get help," she said to no-one in particular. "I went through rehab right before Grade 12 and it really helped me; maybe it would help her, too…"

Jerrica was back home in LA from her interview a few days early – and so she instantly headed over to Alliance Records, where Summer was currently in the middle of one of her dance rehearsals. She watched quietly from the doorway for a minute before the dance instructor noticed her and paused the music. Looking up, Summer saw Jerrica watching her, and instantly went over to her. "That was really good," Jerrica told her.

"What are you doing here?" Summer asked. "I thought you were staying in San Francisco or something."

"There was some kind of mix-up, our interview ended up being earlier in the week than we'd thought," Jerrica explained. With that, she and Summer headed out into the empty hall for a minute to talk more privately.

"Just as well I was able to come back early, I mean, I know I said some things I didn't mean before I left…" Jerrica went on. "Just…" She shrugged, not knowing what to say.

Summer nodded, knowing exactly what Jerrica was talking about. "Yeah. You hurt me pretty badly," she said.

"I know, and I'm sorry."

Summer didn't know what to say next, so she simply gave Jerrica a hug. It was a bit awkward at first, but it warmed up a little when Jerrica hugged her back.

When she pulled away again, Summer asked, "You haven't been drinking?"

"What'd you say?" Jerrica responded, tilting her head towards Summer to hear her better.

"I said you haven't been drinking – I can tell," Summer repeated.

Jerrica smiled. "No, I haven't been, you're right."

Summer paused awkwardly for a moment. "Anyway, I, um…" She gestured with her thumb. "I gotta get back to rehearsals."

"Right," Jerrica answered. "Hey, uh…would I be able to watch?"

Summer shrugged. "Yeah, alright – I'll meet you back at the mansion afterwards, alright?"

"Or I could just drive you home, if you'd prefer that."

Summer debated for a moment, then shook her head. "It's fine. I'll meet you back at home after."

"Yeah, alright," Jerrica shrugged. With that, the two of them headed back towards the dance studio together.

Jerrica spent Christmas with Kimber, and Summer was able to return to San Diego to celebrate the holidays with her friends – but she was back in LA right after New Years'. Not long after Summer's return, Jerrica and the original Holograms started the rehearsals for their Grammy performance, just a little over a month before the actual Grammy awards, but the time flew by so fast that it felt like no time at all. Before anyone knew it, it was February, and the morning of the ceremony had finally arrived. At the moment, Summer was sitting in the living room, talking and laughing with her dad (who'd driven over from Santa Barbara to attend the ceremony) and Brett and his parents as she got her hair and makeup done. Her friends back in San Diego had all promised to watch the ceremony on TV tonight, too.

Meanwhile, Jerrica sat moodily in her room with a drink in her hand, listening to everybody chatting and laughing downstairs.

Sitting down on the sofa, Summer's dad looked down in disbelief at the award ceremony tickets in his hands. "Oh my God, the Grammys…Summer, this is unreal – I just wish your mom was here to see this."

"Yeah, me too," Summer answered. "Hell, I wish I knew her at all; hope I find her someday."

"Hey, Summer, I forgot to mention before," one of Summer's stylists put in, "but I absolutely love the dress you're gonna wear tonight." The dress he was referring to was currently hanging up in its plastic cleaners' bag by the window: a black, strapless tube-dress with a hem that hit mid-thigh and a bustle and floor-length train that was generously dotted with silver sequins.

"You beat me to it," Kristi told him – then back to Summer, "You designed it yourself?"

"Thanks, guys," Summer replied to them both. "And yeah, I actually did design it. I could've just gone with a hologram of it, but I decided to actually make it since this was a really special occasion."

"I still say you should've gone with a hologram of the dress, that would've looked fucking awesome," Brett joked. Everyone laughed, including Summer. As she glanced at Brett, however, she felt her heart do a weird little flip that she'd never felt it do before.

Summer remembered how Jerrica had teased her about possibly becoming Brett's girlfriend a while back, but she'd never really thought much of it. Sure, Brett was a good-looking guy and all, but she only saw him as a friend – and then she remembered those moments from the Holograms' tour when she'd caught him looking at her. Maybe…

Just then, Jerrica came down the stairs and into the living room. "Oh, wow, look at everybody," she muttered. "Hey, how are you?"

"Good to see you, Jerrica; I was starting to wonder if you were coming downstairs at all," Rio grinned.

Jerrica let out a chuckle in response to him before walking over to Summer. "Hey, what's up?"

"You alright?" Summer asked her concernedly.

"What was that?" Jerrica asked, leaning closer.

"I said, are you alright?" Summer repeated, also leaning in so that Jerrica could hear her.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Totally," Jerrica reassured her. "I gotta get going, they said they needed the Holograms there earlier since we were performing and whatever." As Jerrica started to make for the hall, she added, "I got 'em to tell me where you'll be sitting, so I'll come join you afterwards…"

"Sounds good…"

"Yeah, I don't wanna miss the awards, cuz we're performing right before them…"

"Okay; it's just that…you got that look on your face…"

"Really?" Jerrica swiped a hand jokingly across her face. "And now it's gone."

"It'll be really good to see you perform tonight," Summer's dad told Jerrica. Nodding towards Summer, he added, "Her mom always liked you guys' music, and she introduced me to it, too; by the way, I love the collection of vinyl you've got, I was looking through it earlier…"

Giving him a grin, Jerrica answered, "Help yourself to whatever you like, it's yours." With that, she headed out of the mansion, closing the door behind her and leaving Sean Bowen staring after her, pleasantly shocked.

The drinking and pills didn't stop for Jerrica once she was at the Grammys – and neither did the ringing in her ears. Out onstage, she could barely even make out the crowd's cheering.

Out in the audience, Summer leaned over to Devon. "Is Jerrica alright?" she asked. He just shrugged in response as the Holograms began their first song.

Like a dream (I'll appear to you)

Like a dream (That is coming true)

Like a dream

I will lead you to a place

You've never seen before…

Summer's gaze was fixed on Jerrica, growing more concerned by the minute. At one point during the intro to the song they were performing, when Jerrica leaned too hard on her microphone stand and almost lost her balance, Summer cupped a hand over her mouth with a whisper of "Oh, God". The other Holograms looked like they'd noticed something was wrong, too; they kept giving their bandmate concerned looks.

Like a dream (Where you're far from care)

Like a dream (Music everywhere)

Like a dream

Let me take you there and

Show you new worlds to explore…

Follow the sound of my voice,

I'll give you reason to rejoice…

Like a dream (I'll appear to you)

Like a dream (That is coming true)

Like a dream

I will lead you to a place

You've never seen before…

Jerrica did sing the song, and she sang it alright – but it was a bit lackluster compared to how the song was supposed to sound. Even from her seat, Summer could tell by the look in Jerrica's eyes that she was drunk and likely high, as well; Summer had suspected it earlier, and now it seemed like her fears were confirmed. The colour started to drain from her face as she watched the Holograms, silently hoping that Jerrica wouldn't screw up the performance or do anything else stupid.

Like a dream (Where you're far from care)

Like a dream (Music everywhere)

Like a dream

Let me take you there and

Show you new worlds to explore…

Follow the sound of my voice,

I'll give you reason to rejoice…

Like a dream (Baby, come with me)

Like a dream (Life will be)

Like a dream…

Like a dream!

Before too long, the songs they performed had ended and the microphone was being taken out of Jerrica's hand. "Oh, it's over?" she mumbled as she was led offstage and in the direction of where Summer and Devon were sitting. "Is it over?"

By now, Summer had started squirming in her seat. Noticing her, Devon asked, "You okay, Summer?"

"I'm fine," Summer told him quickly – right before Jerrica was led over to their row and set down on the empty chair next to Summer. Just then, the ceremony music started playing and the audience cheered as country singer Tori Parke, the Master of Ceremonies for this year, stepped out onstage; paying no attention, Summer leaned over to Jerrica. "Hey, you good? You alright?"

"Was lookin' for the Ladies' Room and they brought me here; not feelin' so good…" Jerrica slurred. "Lookin' for the bathroom, I'm feelin' kinda sick…"

"Just hold on, it'll pass; you'll feel better soon," Summer answered without much confidence. Leaning over, Devon added, "The first categories they're announcing are the three you've been nominated for – so listen up."

The first two categories passed by, and no awards; the third category, however, was Best New Artist. Opening the envelope with the names of the winner and nominees, Tori Parke announced amidst the applause, "Alright, everyone, up next, we've got Best New Artist! And the nominees are: Joshua Guerra…Kialeene…Egg Nae Q…Summer Bowen…and Zeke Hudson…"

There were rounds of applause between each name. "Yeah, very exciting…" Jerrica mumbled after each round of applause.

Onstage, Tori Parke unfolded the last section of the envelope to reveal the winner's name. "And the winner of this year is…"

"Very exciting…" Jerrica repeated stupidly.

"…Miss Summer Bowen!"

The link to the Holograms' song: youtube dot com/watch?v=C9tb_b6y5ts