Chapter 13: Washed Up and Worn Out

Later that afternoon, Devon came over to Starlight Mansion to talk to Summer about some more details of the upcoming U.S. tour; she was practicing some music on one of her guitars when she told him her plan.

"I've been thinking recently," Summer began, strumming softly on her guitar, "and I think since Jerrica will be out of rehab by then, it would be best if she came out on tour with me; I think it would actually be best for both of us. I'm honestly really worried about leaving her alone, and besides, we could make it fun; we can sing some duets, and maybe she can sing some stuff by herself –"

"You do realize that isn't an option, right?" Devon interrupted. "I know she's your friend and you're worried about her, but it just isn't possible to bring her along."

"You don't understand, it's not just her being my friend and me worrying about her; I know it may not always look it, but Jerrica is also, like, so involved with her art and her music in a way that I don't think she's been in a long time –"

"Look, Summer, there's just no way!" Devon cut her off again. "There's no way you can bring Jerrica along on the tour, alright? There just isn't."

Trying hard not to glare at Devon, Summer put down the guitar and moved over to the piano to start practicing some chords. "Do you understand what I'm saying here?" Devon demanded. "Either you agree to leave her here in LA and go on tour, or we potentially cancel the tour – that's how serious this could get!"

Summer's hands came down heavily on the piano keys. "Then do it, alright?!" she snapped. "Just cancel the fucking tour, see if I care!"

With that, Devon turned and left without another word – but Summer could tell he was angry. As the front door slammed behind him, she closed the piano lid with a loud bang before burying her face in her hands.

One month later

Kimber had offered to drive Jerrica back to the mansion from rehab – and so the two sisters were currently in the car and almost there.

They'd been making small talk by going over Summer's new music career and some old band memories while listening to a CD of their music playing quietly in the background for the whole ride. Along the way, they'd also gone over and reconciled some issues they'd had in the past, both recently and from years ago; it felt good to make amends.

Eventually, Kimber pulled into the long driveway around Starlight Mansion. "We're here," she told Jerrica.

"Thanks again for the ride," Jerrica answered.

"Sure thing, sis."

As Jerrica got out of the car, however, she paused before shutting the car door. "Hey, you know…when you, uh…different times, over the years, said I, um…let fame go to my head and didn't give a damn about you guys?"

Kimber just stared at Jerrica, wondering what her sister was going to say next.

Jerrica paused for a long minute before going on, her voice cracking a little, "I didn't always give you guys enough attention, and I'm sorry." And with that, she shut the car door and headed towards the mansion.

Kimber sat in the car for a minute, dumbfounded over what Jerrica had said, before she started driving away again, hot tears coming into her eyes.

A couple days later, Jerrica was playing with Ollie in the living room while Summer sat across from her, watching them as she practiced some of her songs on guitar. A few minutes later, when Ollie got bored and wandered away, Summer stopped playing her guitar to pull the sheet of Jerrica's song lyrics out of her pocket. "Hey, I wanna know: how do you hear these lyrics?" she asked.

Jerrica took the sheet from Summer and looked at it, reading the words in her head. "By the way, kid, what you were playing sounded amazing," she said, looking up at Summer.

Summer grinned. "Thanks."

"Yeah, it's really good to get to hear you playing again."

"Thank you. I mean, I had the perfect backdrop with you and Ollie." They both laughed.

"I only heard your music on YouTube and in my head while I was in rehab, so I'm really glad to hear it in person now – it's the real deal, y'know?" Jerrica said.

Summer nodded. "Yeah. I really like the new lyrics you wrote, too; kinda sad, but still beautiful."

"You said you want me to sing these lyrics how I hear them in my head?"

"Mm-hm."

"Oh, God, I dunno; had a feeling you might ask me, though."

As Jerrica looked down at the lyrics, going over them quickly in her head, Summer quietly pulled out her phone and started recording Jerrica once she'd started singing.

One week later

Summer had gone out, so Jerrica had the mansion to herself for the morning; a few minutes after getting out of the shower, she heard the doorbell ring. When Jerrica headed downstairs and opened the front door, she saw Devon standing there.

"Oh, hey," Jerrica greeted him, a little surprised. "Sorry, were you waiting long?"

"Hey, Ms. Benton; no, not at all," he answered.

"Were you looking for Summer? She's not here right now, so…"

"It's fine, I told her I'd meet her here, if that's alright with you."

"Yeah, absolutely." Jerrica moved to the side to let Devon in; in a few minutes, Jerrica had gotten them each some sparkling cider to drink and come back to the living room where he was sitting.

"By the way, thanks for looking after Summer while I was gone," she told him, handing him one of the drinks.

"Of course; anything for her," Devon replied. Sitting down across from him, Jerrica started, "She told me about that American tour of hers coming up; sounds like it's gonna be a hell of a tour."

"Yeah…" Devon looked uneasy for a moment, like there was something else he wanted to say about the tour – but ultimately decided against it. "After that, the plans for her next tours are one all around North America, a tour all around Europe, and hopefully a global tour after that."

"Shit, that's pretty impressive for someone starting out," Jerrica noted. "It was longer than that before the Holograms finally went across the pond, don't remember exactly how many years, though…"

Devin didn't answer right away, staring down into his glass. When he finally looked up at Jerrica, he began, "…Look, you and I aren't really on friendly terms here, alright? While you were away in rehab, we've been back here trying to fix your goddamn mess, and barely getting through it. You almost completely derailed her music career for good, do you understand?"

Jerrica stared back, completely silent.

"She's never gonna admit it to you, though," Devon went on. "She looks up to you too much – but just being around you the way she is doesn't look good for her; in fact, it makes her look downright stupid." Nodding to the sparkling cider, he added, "And let's be honest, it's only a matter of time before this gets pushed aside again for the real thing; when that happens, though, I don't want her anywhere near the influence you have on her."

Jerrica still said nothing, but now she was the one looking down into her glass, her expression completely unreadable.

Sometime later on, after Summer had come back and had her meeting with Devin, she found Jerrica lying down in her room. Sticking her head in the door, she said nothing beyond just "Hey."

Jerrica looked over when she heard Summer's voice and gave her a nod – both as a greeting and a sign to come in if she wanted to. Coming into the room, Summer sat down at the foot of Jerrica's bed. "So, I've got some good news," she announced.

"Yeah?" Jerrica answered, staring off into space again.

"Mm-hm. After my meeting with Devon, it's been decided that I'm not going on my U.S. tour anymore. We're gonna cancel it, and I'm gonna stay here for a while. Won't that be great?"

Finally looking over at Summer, Jerrica asked her warily, "Did something happen, kid?"

"No, nothing happened, per se," Summer lied, "but they just love my album so much that they want me to start work on another one and keep up the good streak, y'know? Devon's really excited about it, too, so it's gonna be good; besides, if I'm not on tour, it'll be easy for me to keep doing my college work."

"You're not gonna go back to the apartment you were staying in before? It'll be closer to the college, and you could go back to doing your lessons in-person."

Summer shook her head. "Nope; I wanna stay right here in LA. Tonight's my last show, so we're gonna go out with a bang."

Jerrica hesitated for a moment, glad that Summer wasn't trying to meet her eyes. "Great," she finally said.

"Yeah?" Summer looked over at Jerrica. "Hey, what if you come with me tonight? We could sing 'Leaving' together; everyone'll love seeing us perform again! What do you say?"

Jerrica slowly turned to look at Summer, smiling a little. "Yeah. Sure, why not?" she shrugged.

"You mean it? Great!" Summer beamed. "I'll arrange for a car to pick you up once I get there, then."

"No, no need. I'll meet you there, it's fine."

"Alright, it's a deal. I gotta get going for some last-minute rehearsals now, so I'll see you there, okay?" With that, Summer stood up and headed for the door. Just before she left, though, Jerrica sat up on the bed. "Hey," she called softly. Summer turned around expectantly. "What is it?"

"I've got something I want you to have," Jerrica told her. "I'll leave it on your night-table so you can get it after the show tonight, okay?"

Summer smiled with pleasant surprise. "Thank you, sounds good. See you later, then."

"See you, kid." At hearing her familiar nickname, Summer flashed Jerrica another playful grin before she turned and left the room. As her footsteps died away, Jerrica softly repeated the words to herself with a shaky sigh: "See you, kid."

That evening was very quiet for Jerrica at Starlight Mansion. After finishing some Chinese takeout she'd ordered for dinner, she went up to Summer's room and put the envelope with the gift inside on her night-table; when she came back down, she poured some cat treats onto a plate and set them down on the floor.

"Ollie!" she called gently. "Come here, Ollie; come have some goodies!" Ollie appeared a moment later from around the corner, sniffing at the treats before starting to nibble on one of them. Jerrica petted him absentmindedly as he ate, listening to him purr contentedly.

Once Ollie was fully engrossed with his snack, Jerrica went back upstairs; instead of going to her room, however, she headed to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, but not locking it, she filled a large glass of water at the sink before she bent down and opened up one of the cupboards under the counter – and reaching in, she pulled out a bottle full of pills.

Meanwhile, at the stadium where Summer was performing tonight, the show was about to begin. Backstage, Summer, her dancers, and a bunch of stagehands involved in the concert were gathered in a circle, praying to whatever god was out there (the "music gods", as she jokingly put it) to bless the show. "Thank you for bringing us all here tonight," Summer was saying. "Please look after all the dancers and everyone working backstage, and please watch over my friend Jerrica; we're all really excited to have her perform with us tonight." Looking up again, she addressed the group, "Alright, guys, we've got a big night, so let's do this!" And they all put their hands into the circle before lifting them with a cheer. As the circle split up, Summer called to Brett, "You ready?"

"You bet!" he grinned back, busy on his laptop with Synergy. "Your first outfit on the lineup's ready!" Summer felt her heart somersault again, but she tried to ignore it as she pressed on her earring and practically cheered her good-luck chant: "It's show-time, Synergy!" Instantly, her hairstyle, makeup, and clothes transformed into her first costume of the night, and she got ready to go onstage.

Back at Starlight Mansion, Jerrica finally left the bathroom after thoughtfully turning the pill bottle over and over in her hands for several minutes, and headed straight to her office – how many times had she been in here, especially back in her heyday? She held onto the pill bottle tightly. Ollie was still eating his cat treats downstairs, so he wouldn't bother her for a while.

Jerrica didn't bother closing the door behind her, but simply stepped into her office, walking slowly around it and looking up and down all the walls as though she were in a trance. There were all kinds of things on the walls: framed Hologram records and signed record sleeves, old photos of the band back in their golden age, mounted shelves holding one-of-a-kind merch and various awards they'd won over the years…

She walked around the perimeter of the whole office, and then stopped when she came back to the door; looking out into the hall, she leaned heavily on the door frame with a sigh. All kinds of memories from the glory days were coming back to her: memories of her bandmates, her parents, her relationship with Rio, the shows the band had put on, the songs they'd made, the cartoon episodes they'd recorded, the Starlight girls who'd lived here, all the struggles and victories they'd had over the years…and then Jerrica thought of Summer's face, the girl's incredible musical talent, and their rather odd friendship.

She must've stood there for a good ten minutes, practically watching her life flash in front of her eyes, before she sighed again and closed the door of her study. Taking a seat at the desk, Jerrica set down the glass of water, turned on her computer, and headed to Summer's new official music channel on YouTube. With a rather sad smile, she clicked on the lyric video for "Leaving" (Summer had yet to film music videos for any of her songs) and watched it play, wanting to listen to Summer's sweet singing voice one last time.

When the music video ended, Jerrica shut her computer down and opened the pill bottle; looking at a large poster of her alter-ego that hung on the wall across from her, she simply said two words: "Bye, Jem."

And with that, Jerrica Benton put one of the pills in her mouth and washed it down with her glass of water. "Leaving" kept playing over and over again in her head as she washed another pill down, and then another one, and then another one, and then another one…

Summer's show over at the stadium was in full swing. A few hours later, the end of the show was getting close: when Summer and Jerrica were going to sing "Leaving". While the crowds were still cheering after the song that had just ended, Summer and her dancers hurried offstage to prepare for the last song. Noticing Devon backstage, Summer asked him breathlessly, "Is she here yet?"

Devon shrugged. "I haven't seen her," he told her.

Summer's face fell. "She's not here yet?"

"Look, you're just gonna have to do 'Leaving' alone, okay?" Devon answered as the dancers started changing into their last costumes (there weren't enough Synergy suits for all of them yet). As Summer grabbed a quick drink of water and got hooked up to her hands-free microphone, Devon went on, "The guitar's up there for you, so everything else is gonna be the same, okay?"

"What was that?" Summer asked over the din of the crowds.

"The guitar's ready onstage for you to play, and everything else is the same," Devon repeated, a little louder. "It was probably just a bit much for her, that's all."

"Please send someone to the house – please," Summer begged; Devon reassured her, "Don't worry, I'm on it."

"I got fifteen seconds," Summer said; with that, she headed over to Brett to make quick arrangements about her last hologram outfit of the night.

Once she was back onstage and fully into "Leaving", the crowd got as wild as ever. During an instrumental bridge, Summer cheered, "Let's hear it for Jem – for Jerrica Benton! C'mon, let's give it up!" The crowd cheered even louder than before.

Ollie padded softly along the hallways, mewing loudly as he looked for his mistress. Behind the door of the office, she lay slumped over her desk, the bottle with the remaining pills spilt all over the place and the glass of water knocked to the floor.