Sometimes we fall back into old habits, and sometimes our tongue is faster than our brain. The companions are no different.

"No!"

Crying, Moiraine opened her eyes. The sun was gone. Instead, she stared at the ceiling of a house. The calming sound of crashing waves was replaced by countless voices talking all at once, but none of their words came through to her. Quickly, she sat upright – her eyes taking in her surrounding. The guesthouse in Falme. She wasn't at the beach. There was the gleeman who had a tight grip on her ankles. Her niece, Elayne, kneeled beside the bed – one hand holding Moiraine's arm while the other squeezed the hand of the Aes Sedai.

Nynaeve pushed herself between these two, feeling Moiraine's forehead and checking on her eyes. They all were talking, but their words were a blur to the Aes Sedai. She couldn't understand one word. Where was Lan? Where was her Warder?

"Moiraine." He didn't yell or was particularly loud, yet his voice was the only thing she could hear in this blur. Her head swirled to her left, taking in the man beside her. His black hair had collected some white strands over the past twenty years. The hadori around his forehead. His brown eyes filled with worry. The grim features on his face because he didn't know how to help her. His hand held her left arm while the other reached out to cup her face. "Are you with me?"

The dagger appeared in front of her eyes. Anaiya, who stabbed Lan in the heart. The blood flowing under her fingers… With one quick movement, the woman of the Blue Ajah freed herself from Elayne and Thom's grip, pushed Lan onto his back, and straddled him.

Taken by surprise, the Warder looked at her with big eyes. "Moiraine, what-?"

She couldn't tell him. She needed to see it with her own eyes – needed to know this wasn't a trick. Her fingers ripped at his tunic feverishly. Why was this fabric so stubborn?

"Moiraine." Lan tried to grab her hands, but she freed herself, slapping his out of the way until he held them out of her reach in defense.

"Elayne, Thom! Grab her arms! We need to calm her!" Nynaeve barked.

"Don't," Lan responded calmly. His eyes were locked on Moiraine's face while his Aes Sedai kept ripping at his tunic. He saw the panic and pain. Whatever she was searching for, she wouldn't calm down until she found it. "Leave her be."

"Lan, she-"

"Trust me, Nynaeve."

Finally, Moiraine could open the tunic and revealed Lan's bare chest – covered in old scars and the skin over his heart… was unharmed.

Trembling, the Aes Sedai let her hand move over the smooth skin. There was no puncture wound, no injury, and no blood. But she felt Lan's strong beating heart underneath her palm. He was alive.

Lan saw the change in Moiraine's face when she found what she had been looking for. Carefully, he cupped her face in his hands. "You've been dreaming, Moiraine. Whatever happened there, it didn't happen to me."

Her eyes locked with his, and she noticed tears blurring her view. Lan was alive. Anaiya hadn't killed him. Moiraine had protected him – saved him from her sister's attacks. She hadn't failed him.

"Come here." He pulled her down on him, ensuring that her ear would be pressed against his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. Then he cradled her head with one hand while the other pressed her close to him. "It was a dream, Moiraine. It was a dream." He pressed a kiss on her hair and flooded their bond with his love. She needed to know he was with her.

Elayne saw how vulnerable her aunt was. Quickly, she got back on her feet and turned to Rand, Perrin, and Loial. "Why don't you guys check on the horses?"

Luckily, the men knew why she suggested this and left without arguing. Even Thom excused himself since his help wasn't needed anymore. Elayne and Nynaeve stepped aside, though they kept an eye on Moiraine in case her condition would get worse again.

When it was apparent the Aes Sedai wouldn't have another breakdown, the Wisdom appeared beside the bed with a cup of tea. "The tea helps to calm your nerves. You won't sleep, but it will help. Can you sit up?"

Moiraine furrowed her forehead, then tried to push herself up. There was no strength in her. Her arms trembled dangerously when they had to carry her weight. Lan helped her, and so did Elayne by grabbing her aunt's arm to pull her up.

As soon as the woman of the Blue Ajah was sitting, the Warder moved into a sitting position, too, staying close to Moiraine so she could feel him.

"Here." Nynaeve handed Moiraine the cup, who carefully lifted it to her lips.

Ultimately, she needed Lan's helping hand to keep it there and empty it without spilling anything.

The Wisdom was relieved when she saw Moiraine taking slow gulps and turned to Lan. "Elayne and I will talk to the others. Maybe you could use the time to talk, too?" She knew Moiraine wouldn't want to share her nightmare with the rest of them.

When Lan nodded, the Wisdom gave Moiraine's thigh a gentle squeeze. "We'll be outside if you need anything." Then the two women left the guesthouse.

The uncrowned king of Malkier didn't rush the woman of the Blue Ajah to empty the cup. Patiently, he waited until she had gulped the entire content of the cup before he took it out of her hands and placed it on the nightstand. Then he took her cold hands in his own and rubbed them gently to warm them again while listening to her feelings through the bond.

They were a mess. There was panic and pain, desperation and guilt, hate and doubt. They were all present, yet constantly changing like she didn't know which was disturbing her the most. When he couldn't take it anymore, he broke the silence.

"Moiraine." His voice was quiet and gentle, pulling her out of the spiral her thoughts were taken.

Confused, her big eyes found his. Blood and ashes! She looked lost! Carefully, he placed her hand on his chest, right above his heart. Maybe his heartbeat could help her to focus. "Are you with me?"

Her eyes moved to their connected hands on his chest, and pain moved over her face. "What happened, Moiraine? At first, I thought this dream was a repetition of the one you had last night. And from what I felt through the bond, you were truly enjoying this dream. And then, all of a sudden, everything turns sideways. What did you dream about?"

His beautiful Aes Sedai shook her head, and silent tears rolled over her cheeks. She couldn't use her voice. Not yet. Well, then, he had to ask questions to find the truth.

"Have you been back in Tel'aran'rhiod?" He felt relieved when she shook her head. He hated this dream world with all his heart. Twice, Moiraine had been hurt in there, and he hadn't been able to do anything to help her. "Did the father of lies hurt me?" Again, she shook her head. "Someone I know?"

"Anaiya and Maigan." Finally, Lan understood. Her blue sisters had hurt him. Her blue sisters, who had received the order to kill him. Smiling, the Warder cupped his Aes Sedai's cheek.

"Oh, Moiraine." Lan brushed a new tear away with his thumb. "Anaiya didn't kill me. You saved me." She nodded, but he felt the pain in her heart. She had saved him in real life but in her dream… "Come here."

Moiraine stood up and allowed her Warder to pull her into his lap. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

"You saved me," Lan repeated while rubbing soothing circles on her back. "You fought against Anaiya and Maigan and saved me. The Seanchan didn't win."

Moiraine nodded, but Lan knew she still felt guilty as if she had failed him. How could he make her see she hadn't failed him?! Her dream had two parts – a pleasant and a deadly one. Let's bring her thoughts back to the pleasant part.

"Tell me about the dream. Where have we been? Have we been in Tar Valon?"

The uncrowned king of Malkier felt the shaking of her head. Which place would seem safe to her so they could… "It was a beach." Her voice was quiet, but at least he got an answer. "Just a beach."

"Let me guess. There was no one else there except us?"

The Aes Sedai nodded. "I was sleeping, and you woke me."

Surprised, Lan furrowed his forehead. "I woke you instead of silently admiring your beauty?"

"It was sweet. You kissed the back of my hand, then placed a trail of kisses up my arm."

"Like this?"

Moiraine allowed Lan to take her hand and watched as he pressed his lips on the back. But he didn't stop there. Instead, he followed her instructions and left a trail of kisses from her wrist to her shoulder. The Aes Sedai sent him her admiration through the bond. She felt how he tried to lighten her mood. When he kept moving upwards, she turned her head away, chuckling before their lips could meet. They wouldn't have that much time.

"I don't understand how I can wake you when I simply kiss the fabric of your tunic," Lan mumbled against her throat. "Unless, of course, we both were already-"

"I wore a dress without sleeves," Moiraine interrupted him, laughing while feeling Lan's disappointment through the bond.

"I like my imagination way better."

"I bet."

"Fine. So, you wore a dress without sleeves, and I woke you by kissing every inch of your beautiful skin from the back of your hand upwards. What did I do next?"

"I don't think we should talk about my dream in detail."

Lan growled and looked at her. "You already withheld the information about your first dream. You can't do this to me again."

"Nynaeve didn't clear the room so we could have some fun."

"I want to know what this dream version of me did to you. I have a right to know. After all, he is me."

"He is not you. He is a product of my imagination."

"A product that has pleasured you twice now."

Surprised, the woman of the Blue Ajah observed the uncrowned king of Malkier. He seemed angry. But that was nonsense. Why should he be angry? Because she didn't tell him about her fantasies? Over the past twenty years, Lan had bedded countless women. He knew how to please them, and she had no doubt Lan would bring her great pleasure should they ever get the chance to have a moment to themselves. Why did he want to know so desperately what this dream version of him had done to her? His knowledge was way more advanced than her imagination could ever be. It couldn't be because… "Are you jealous?"

He didn't answer that. There was only a slight narrowing of his eyes at her words, yet it was telling her everything she needed to know. "Lan Mandragoran! You're an idiot!"

"What did he do?"

"It wasn't real!"

"It's what you would like me to do, and you enjoyed it. Twice."

Moiraine took a deep breath to calm herself. "I won't tell you." Immediately, Lan opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "At least not now." She felt his growl through the bond. He didn't like this answer, but at least he didn't argue with her. "This isn't important right now. We need to free Egwene, and I will find a way to free Anaiya and Maigan. Everything else has to wait until it's… well, not safe, but…."

Lan's face softened when he nodded. He understood what she was saying. There was no time for their complicated feelings and needs right now. They would face them – and he would get out of her what this dream version of him had done to her! – when the time was right.

Sighing heavingly, he wrapped his arms around her and sent her his love while she hid her face in the crook of his neck again. This was all he could do – for now.

Nynaeve and Elayne were the first ones who returned, carefully asking how they were doing. Moiraine, who had herself and her emotions under control again, thanked both for their help and apologized for how things had escalated. According to Lan, her pleasure had turned into panic at one point. In her sleep, she had reached for Saidar, and it had been up to Lan and Elayne to keep her from channeling. When she had started to rebel against them – Lan had taken a punch to the face because Elayne's grip had slipped once – the gleeman had come for help. Luckily, this form of violence had been only short-period because Moiraine awoke from her nightmare.

While Elayne assured her aunt all was fine and that she was glad Moiraine was feeling better, Nynaeve exchanged a glance with Lan. The Wisdom didn't believe the Aes Sedai was fine – not for a second. But the Warder stayed unreadable as always.

Then the men returned, and after apologizing to them as well, Rand admitted to Moiraine and Lan they already had a plan for Egwene's rescue.

"What do you mean you already have a plan?" Confused, Moiraine furrowed her forehead. She had left Lan's side during her apologies to throw a look out the window. Now, she turned to the Dragon Reborn.

"I couldn't wait until you and Lan were awake again. We're constantly losing precious time. Egwene loses time. I need to save her, and I can no longer wait for you to approve."

Angry, Moiraine's eyes moved on to Thom. "Please tell me you were present when they developed their brilliant plan, Master gleeman."

"I was, Aes Sedai, and I did my best to talk down their most foolish ideas."

"Most foolish? This means this plan still contains an unknown number of less foolish ideas, yet foolish ones nonetheless."

Thom sighed heavily, which earned him an angry look from Rand. The gleeman wouldn't admit it, but he was glad Moiraine and Lan were awake to knock some sense into these children. He didn't like the plan.

"What's the plan?" the Aes Sedai asked the Dragon.

"We rescue Egwene tonight."

Moiraine raised her eyebrows. Surely, she must've misheard something. "Tonight?"

"Yes."

"You want to do this… tonight?"

"Yes."

Well, maybe she didn't mishear anything. Slowly, she turned to Thom once again. "You talked down their most foolish ideas?"

"Believe me, you wouldn't have liked the first version of his plan." The gleeman grimaced when he remembered the heated discussion from earlier. "Originally, he wanted to leave shortly after you and your Warder fell asleep."

"Blood and ashes! Rand, we observed this building only in broad daylight! We have no idea what awaits us during nightfall! Or did your mysterious traveling companion give you some insight on Seanchan protection?"

Rand's ears turned red when Moiraine mentioned Selene – Nynaeve and Elayne simply furrowed their foreheads since they didn't know anything about this woman – but otherwise, he decided to ignore Moiraine's biting question. "As I mentioned, Moiraine. Egwene loses time."

"She will lose way more if we storm this building headless! You… damn it! Lan!"

While Moiraine walked up and down to calm herself, Lan stepped forward and took over. "What you're planning to do is stupid, sheepherder. There's no easier way to say it. You don't know this building. You've never been inside. You know nothing about the Seanchan and how they protect their high lords and ladies. It is a big building, and Egwene could be anywhere. We can't risk fighting against every Seanchan in this city."

Rand glanced at Nynaeve, which didn't stay unnoticed by the uncrowned king of Malkier. "What is it?"

"We have someone inside who knows where Egwene is," Nynaeve admitted reluctantly.

Moiraine stopped her running. "What?! Who?"

"Min."

Silence filled the room while Moiraine and Nynaeve stared at each other. Elayne lowered her head, already waiting for the big explosion.

"Min," the woman of the Blue Ajah repeated calmly, but her voice was as cold as ice. "As in the bartender from Fal Dara? That Min?"

"Yes. She fled Fal Dara before the Trollocs came and ran to Tar Valon."

"This is Falme, not Tar Valon."

"I'm well aware."

Again, there was silence while Moiraine worked hard to keep her calm mask in place. "Can you explain to me how Min got from Tar Valon to Falme?"

"She came with us." Moiraine closed her eyes, and at the same time, Lan stepped deliberately between his Aes Sedai and the Wisdom and took over the questioning.

"Why didn't you mention that earlier?"

"The Seanchan want women who can channel. Min can't channel, so we assumed she would be safe. A few hours ago, we met her by coincidence and found out they had also taken her. She doesn't wear a collar, and she can walk around freely. She is there to entertain Egwene and knows where her room is."

"She will let us in," Lan stated.

"No." Surprised, everyone turned to Rand. "She will let US in. You and Moiraine will stay here."

The Aes Sedai stepped closer to the Dragon Reborn. Her calm mask was gone. Shock and anger were clearly visible on her face. "This is the most foolish idea I've heard all day."

"It's not that I don't want you there, Moiraine, but you're not doing well."

"I'll be all right."

"No, you're not. You're still dealing with this nightmare of yours. And Nynaeve and Elayne told us about your sisters and what seeing them did to you."

"Then you should understand why I have to go. You want to save Egwene. Well, I need to save them."

"Let us do it."

"No!"

Then Nynaeve entered the conversation again. "Rand is right, Moiraine. You're very good at pretending, but your nightmare still haunts you. And Lan is injured. Fighting against the Seanchan and your sisters earlier hasn't been good for him."

"We'll go with you!"

Moiraine's stubbornness made the young woman from the Two Rivers angry. "Do you really want to see your nightmare come true?!"

The Aes Sedai winced, and the picture of a bleeding Lan with a dagger in his heart appeared before her eyes. Again, she felt his blood under her fingers.

"Nynaeve," Lan growled warningly, but it was useless. She had crossed a line and wouldn't turn back now.

"You have no clue what I saw, child."

"It wasn't hard to guess. He died in your dream!"

"Nynaeve!"

Thank you for your service, Lan Mandragoran. Your time as a Warder is over. Once again, Moiraine saw how Anaiya stabbed Lan in the heart.

"Did you at least try to save him, or did you push him to his death?!"

"That's enough!"

"Nynaeve, stop!"

Moiraine couldn't breathe. She didn't see Nynaeve's angry face or how Elayne stepped up to pull the Wisdom away from her aunt. She didn't hear the two women argue or how Rand became mad because they wasted time. No, Moiraine was back at the beach, watching Anaiya stabbing Lan. How she pressed her hands on his chest to keep the blood in his body until he collapsed and lay in her arms…

"Breathe!" Suddenly, Lan was there, cupping her face in his hands, shielding her from the eyes of the others. "Breathe, Moiraine!"

She couldn't! He was dead, and it was her fault! She hadn't protected him! She had failed him!

"Breathe!" Lan pressed his thumb painfully into her stomach. Automatically, the Aes Sedai gasped for air. "Good. Again." As if this one gasp had been everything she had needed, she started to breathe again - quick and short gasps, but she was breathing.

"Good." She tried to concentrate on Lan's calming voice. He wasn't dead. It had been a nightmare. A trick of her silly mind. Nothing more.

It took a moment for the Aes Sedai to regain her composure. Lan didn't stop talking to her to help her through her panic attack. Once he was sure she was doing better, he turned to Rand with a stern look on his face. "We'll come with you. End of discussion."

Rand opened his mouth to object, but the Warder didn't want to hear anything about it. These stubborn children might look like men, but they had no experience with this world and the danger they would face. "Now, tell me about your idiotic plan, so I can make sure we have a chance to survive this."

The next chapter will be uploaded on Sunday.

I would appreciate it if you could take a moment to leave a review.