A/N: So FFN's decided to be weird and not post this chapter, so I've been trying to repost it. Let's see if this attempt works.

Chapter Seven: Judoon Platoon Upon the Moon

John tapped the IV bag by a patient's bed with a flourish. "And that will fix all of Mr. Davies' problems. Brilliant solution, Martha. Any questions?"

He looked around hopefully, but none of the gathering of students around him spoke.

"Right, well, let's move on to our next patient, shall we?" He led his students to an elderly woman in bed. "Hello, Miss Finnegan, you've been in and out all month, haven't you? How are you feeling today?"

The elderly woman frowned. "I was all right till this morning, and then, I don't know, I woke up and I felt all dizzy again. It was worse than when I came in."

"Well, we'll see if we can fix that." Beaming, John turned to his students. "Ideas, anyone? Morgenstern?"

Oliver Morgenstern snapped to attention. "Dizziness can be a sign of early onset diabetes."

"Sure, but really…" John lowered his voice. "Does that look like early onset to you?" He saw the look on Finnegan's face and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. Anyone else? Yes, Swales."

Swales swallowed. "Um…could recommend a CT scan."

John paused. "Well, yeah, we could. Sure we could. But come on, there's got to be a better way than that, yeah? Martha Jones, I'll bet you've got an answer, I can see it all over your face!"

Martha blinked. "We could take bloods and check for Meniere's disease."

"Ooh, that's good," said John appreciatively. "I like that. But there's something you're all missing. Anyone?" He paused, more for dramatic effect than to provide an opportunity for answers. "Her diet! Fuel for the body, but has she been getting the right kind?" He turned to Finnegan. "What'd you have for dinner last night?"

"Salad."

"Ha!" said John triumphantly. "And the night before that and the night before that, I bet, am I right?"

"Well, yes," said Finnegan.

"Oh you naughty girl, Miss Finnegan, you weren't supposed to do that." John whirled to face his students. "Salt deficiency! Just goes to show you, never underestimate the domestic approach. Talk to people! You never know what little details you might be missing! Now, I think we've got time for one more patient before lunch, a Mr. Moffat. I think he's got a rather interesting problem for us to solve today…"

They all followed him obediently into the hall, as he lectured about all the diseases easily cured by more or less salt in the diet. "…Hippocrates was a huge fan of salt, absolutely loved it. Especially if it was from sea water. He kept wanting to drink it, but fortunately I convinced him inhaling the steam was a much better idea…"

"Sir?" Martha said quizzically. "You're saying you met Hippocrates?"

John's babbling confidence slipped for a split second before he recovered. "Right. Right, yes. Just seeing if you're paying attention. Full marks, Martha Jones!"

He led them to the next patient's room in silence, his thoughts buzzing. What on Earth had possessed him to say that? Was he losing his grip between dreams and reality again? He'd gotten so much better at it the past few weeks…

He was just tired, he decided. He'd gotten up extra early to make Rose's breakfast and was running on less sleep than usual. He made a mental note to drink an extra coffee when he released the students for lunch.

And speaking of Rose…was that her, just up ahead? Running towards him down the hall frantically, pushing trolleys and a nurse out of her way in her haste?

"Rose?" he said in bewilderment as his wife reached him, "What are you doing here?"

"Hello," she said, out of breath. She grabbed his hand and started to tug. "We have to go. Now. Emergency."

"But Rose, I'm in the middle of a lesson!" said John indignantly, waving a hand towards his students.

Rose peered around him at the medical students, who were ogling her with varying expressions of curiosity and alarm. "Early lunch break!" she declared. "Dr. Tyler's got an emergency."

"I've got a what? Rose!"

But Rose was already wrenching him away by the hand, leading him down the hall. John turned to face his students as his wife dragged him in the opposite direction. "Er, yes, early lunch break, go on!" he called. Shrugging, the medical students dispersed.

John dug his heels in and came to a stop as he and Rose reached the lift. "Rose, I can't just leave in the middle of work! What's happened?"

Rose bit her lip. "I'll tell you on the way, but right now, we've got to get out of here."

"What's wrong, is it Jack?" John asked in concern. "Your mother? Are they all right?"

"Yes, they're fine, but please, we have to go," Rose pleaded, tugging on his hand.

The lift opened to reveal two leather-covered figures. John and Rose both moved aside next to the window to let them out of the lift.

"Rose, I've got patients," John insisted. "I've got students waiting for me to teach them, and patients to take care of, and I can't just drop everything and leave, I'll get sacked!…Rose?"

Rose was staring out the window, and John turned to stare too. "Is the rain going up?"

Distant screams erupted in a crescendo from down the hall and all over the hospital as the entire building began to tremble.

And then, like a great beast poked with a stick, the hospital jerked violently in all directions.

"Doctor!" Rose shrieked as both she and John were knocked off their feet. The hospital rocked to and fro, sending trolleys rocketing and toppling through the hall. A light fixture fell from the ceiling and shattered on the floor. John managed to crawl over to Rose and press her into his chest, shielding her head as the entire hospital shook and trembled around them.

And then, it was over.

Breathing hard, John sat up and pulled Rose to face him. "You all right?"

"Yeah," she said breathlessly.

"Earthquake! What? Since when does London get earthquakes? Rose, are you sure you're all right? You shouted for a doctor."

Rose pushed herself up from the wall. "We really, really need to get out of…" She stopped as she saw out the window.

"What? What is it?" John got to his feet and looked out the window. His jaw dropped. "Is that—But that's—"

"I don't believe it," said Rose softly. "We're on the moon."

John's gaze switched between her and the window, from which the Earth was clearly visible. "But we can't be!"

"Well, better than Pluto, I suppose…"

"That's physically impossible! That is completely, utterly impossible!"

"Obviously not, because we're here," Rose pointed out. Her breath hitched. "Jack." She whipped out her mobile and hit the call button.

"I don't really think Jack can help us!" John said, voice tingeing on hysteria. His hand ran through his hair as he gawked at the window again. "How are you even getting a signal? Hold on…" His eyes widened as he registered the screams building throughout the hospital. "The patients! I've got to go check on them—Rose, stay here!"

But Rose barely listened, instead straining to hear Jack through the phone. Behind her, John dashed off down the hallway.

"Rose? I'm nearly there! Did you find him?"

"Jack, the hospital's gone," she said steadily, staring at the Earth from the window.

"What do you mean, gone—holy—Rose, there's a crater in the middle of the street!"

"We're on the moon," she said slowly.

"It looks like a bomb went off! What happened? Are you both okay?"

"Jack," Rose repeated, slower. "We're fine. We're inside the hospital. And the hospital. Is on. The moon."

There was a long pause on Jack's end of the line. "Well, I will never complain about our lives being boring again."

"How did the Family get the entire hospital on the moon?" she asked, her pitch increasing over the panicked screams of the patients and staff around her.

"They couldn't have," said Jack. Rose could hear screaming in the background of his end, as well.

She pressed the phone closer to her ear, "So what, somebody else moved the hospital?"

"Must have."

She rubbed her forehead. "Well, then at least up here we're safe from the Family. I'm telling him to open the watch. If this doesn't qualify as an emergency, nothing does. The Doctor'll know how to fix this."

"How is he?"

Rose blinked and looked around in a panic. "I don't see him!" she said frantically, "I lost him—I think he wandered off!"

"Rose, calm down!" Jack shouted at her. She clung to the phone tighter. "He can't have wandered very far." He paused. "UNIT's here. You find John, and I'll see if I can help them figure out how to get the hospital back on this end."

Rose nodded even though she knew Jack couldn't see her. "Right. See you."

She slid the phone back into her pocket, and marched through the throng crowding the hallways.

As Martha gazed upon her planet from the moon, she wondered if all her family's nagging and arguing had finally driven her truly barking.

"It's real," she murmured in awe, oblivious to Julia's whimpers behind her. "It's really real. Hold on!"

She reached for the window latch, but Julia snatched her wrist. "Don't! We'll lose all the air!"

"But they're not exactly airtight. If the air was going to get sucked out it would have happened straight away, but it didn't. So how come?"

Dr. Tyler dashed inside the patient room, hair a mess and lab coat askew. "How are they? Is everyone all right?"

"Couple of the machines are jostled, but they're all right," Martha rattled off. "We're running off the emergency generators. Mostly, the patients're just panicking. Sir, have you seen, we're on the—"

"I know," Dr. Tyler snapped, "I saw it! Right, Swales!"

Julia swallowed, panic still shining in her eyes. "Yes?"

"Stop panicking," Dr. Tyler ordered, "We are authority figures. If the patients see us panicking, that'll make everything worse. Go find the other students, tell them to start passing out the oxygen tanks."

Swales swallowed again and nodded before hurrying from the room.

"But Dr. Tyler," Martha interrupted, "We've got air."

Dr. Tyler stopped for a moment. "Full marks, Miss Jones. You're right, we do. Why do we have air?" He dashed from the room in a spastic frenzy, Martha on his heels.

They reached the patients' lounge and the balcony beyond, and Dr. Tyler stopped. Martha stopped next to him, hands on her knees as she gasped.

Dr. Tyler paused, then opened the doors. He took a deep breath and stepped out onto the balcony. "We really are," he murmured, "We're really on the moon. How is that even possible?"

"And we've got air!" Martha said in wonder, joining him on the balcony. "How does that work?"

"No idea…No, wait, hold on, I've got a thought." He reached down to pick up a pebble, and tossed it as far as he could. It hit an invisible wall that flashed blue on impact.

"What was that?" asked Martha. "Some sort of…I dunno, force field?"

"Like a bubble…Impossible," Dr. Tyler protested. He ruffled the back of his hair, a lost sort of look in his eyes. He looked like a man who had had a rug pulled out from other him. "We can't possibly be on the moon in the middle of a force field…I mean, this is real life, not some show on the telly!"

"But that's sealing all our air in…" mused Martha. "We might run out. You're right—we are going to need oxygen tanks."

"Well, I am brilliant," he said, unable to tear his eyes off the Earth. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You know, it's sort of beautiful."

"Yeah," she said wistfully as she stared at the Earth. "It sort of is." She thought for a moment. "This has got to be extraterrestrial."

Dr. Tyler scoffed. "Really? Wouldn't have pegged you for believing in little green men."

"Well, yeah," said Martha, trying not to sound a bit hurt. "I mean, a couple years ago, I'd have agreed with you. But these days? Those dummies coming to life? That spaceship flying into Big Ben? Christmas, with all the people on the roof? Those blue ghost things? Hard not to believe, wouldn't you think?"

"No," Dr. Tyler said firmly. "There's no such things as aliens."

At that moment, several tall, dark ships descended. Both Tyler and Jones watched as helmeted figures disembarked.

Dr. Tyler swallowed. "Right. Well, Martha Jones, I stand corrected."

They watched in both horror and fascination as the aliens marched towards the hospital like soldiers preparing for war. Martha let out a gasp when a blue light flashed over the lead alien, then the ones behind it. Whatever was keeping the air in apparently did not keep the aliens out.

Dr. Tyler leaned on the balcony for support, unable to tear his gaze away, his mutterings becoming more desperate with every syllable. "Maybe they're astronauts? Really, really advanced, secret astronauts? Terrorists—they could be terrorists. Space…terrorists…"

The lead alien removed its helmet to reveal the head of a rhinoceros.

"This is impossible. Impossible." Dr. Tyler recoiled from the balcony and yanked open the door to the patient's lounge. Martha hurried to follow him inside. "This can't be happening to me. I'm hallucinating or something. I'm dreaming. I must be dreaming."

"Me too, then," said Martha shakily.

"I mean, great big space rhinos. I mean rhinos from space. On the moon!" As they passed patients' rooms, his laugh grew more unhinged. "Great big space rhinos with guns on the moon! I said to my wife, I said this seemed a lovely place to work, but I've only been here two months, and nowhere in the interview did they mention giant space rhinos on the moon!"

Martha tentatively placed a hand on his back. "You okay?"

He rubbed a hand through his hair, which now looked positively unkempt. "I've got to find Rose."

"Dr. Tyler?"

Dr. Tyler whirled to face her. "I'm sorry, but I have got to find my wife. Can you get the oxygen tanks out for this section?"

"Oh, Dr. Tyler?"

Dr. Tyler spun on the spot to see Florence Finnegan. "What now?" he groaned. "Miss Finnegan, what do you need?"

"I need your help, Dr. Tyler."

He fidgeted impatiently. "Yes? And?"

Finnegan leaned in closer. "It's a bit…personal. May we discuss it in your office? Privately?"

He stared at her incredulously. "Miss Finnegan, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but we're on the moon. Whatever it is, I think it can wait." He made to step around her, but she scooted to block his path.

"Oh, I know," Finnegan continued, "But it's really rather important. Just a talk, that's all."

Dr. Tyler rubbed his forehead a moment in frustration. "All right, all right, yes, fine, two minutes. You get two minutes because it's an emergency." He looked pleadingly at Martha.

"I'll get those tanks set up," she promised. Dr. Tyler nodded gratefully, ushered Finnegan into his office, and shut the door.

Crouching behind a plant, Rose watched from the mezzanine overlooking the lobby as the aliens entered the hospital. Their leader's helmet was off, revealing the head of a rhino, and her heart sunk as she realised she had never encountered this alien before.

"Bo sco fo do no kro blo co sho ro!"

Rose didn't understand a word of that. She wondered if the TARDIS translation circuits worked if the Doctor was human. Or it meant John was…No. He was fine. He had to be fine.

One of John's medical students stepped forward. "We are citizens of planet Earth," said Oliver Morgenstern, obviously terrified but trying not to appear so. "We welcome you in peace."

The rhino pushed him against the wall and shined a bright blue light in his face.

Morgenstern held very still and pleaded. "Please don't hurt me, I was just trying to help, I'm sorry, don't hurt me, please don't hurt me…"

Rose slid her phone back in her pocket, trading it for the sonic screwdriver. She had no idea what setting to use, but she had to do something. She had to help him!

But before she could locate the stairs to go down there, she heard the rhino play the words back. "Language assimilated," he announced. "Designation: Earth English. You will be catalogued." He shined the light in Morgenstern's face again. "Human." He drew a black cross on Morgenstern's hand.

Morgenstern stared at the mark on his hand as if afraid it would bite him.

"Catalogue all suspects!" the rhino ordered, and the others surged forward towards the nearest humans.

The humans below all began to scream and run, and Rose's heart pounded. A catalogue. They were making sure everyone in the hospital was human, which meant they were looking for something that wasn't.

Were they looking for the Doctor? What were they planning to do if they found him? What were they planning to do if they didn't?

She had to find him, warn him, change him back. The Doctor would know what to do…

But maybe she shouldn't have him open the watch. If the rhinos were looking for the Doctor, staying human might save him. But how human was he? She was absolutely certain that underneath it all, John was still the same man, still a Time Lord. He was human enough to fool the Family, but would he register as human on the rhino's scanners?

Either way, she had to find John. Now.

"Now, really," said John as he shut the door to the office, "Miss Finnegan, what is your problem that is so urgent it can't wait until after we're not on the moon?"

"I need your help, Dr. Tyler," said Finnegan earnestly.

"So I gathered," John said impatiently, hands waving everywhere as he talked. "But as you're walking and talking and not writhing on the floor in agony, all I really want to do right now is find my wife. So what, exactly, is this emergency?"

"I need blood."

John stared at her angrily. "I'm sorry, but unless you're on the verge of death—which you clearly aren't—any blood transfusions are going to have to wait until the hospital is located somewhere a bit more terrestrial and a little less lunar. I can't help you. Now if you'll excuse me—"

Finnegan took a step closer, too close for comfort. "Oh, I think you can."

Behind John, the door opened to admit two figures dressed entirely in black leather.

"What now?" demanded John. "Who are these people?"

"Oh, these are my lovely boys," Finnegan simpered, "I prefer not to get my hands dirty."

"What?"

"You see, there are great tests to come, and terrible deeds—some of them my own. But if I am to survive this, I need you."

"What?" John said again, this time in a higher pitch.

"Blood," explained Finnegan. John edged away from the leather figures as they moved closer. "Specifically, yours."

John gawked between her and the leather men closing in on him. "What?"

A/N: Every time you review, John gets a new jar of marmalade. Just sayin'.