The more that Lily grew to know about the wizarding world, and the more normal it began to feel to her, the harder holidays were away from school. The journey home always seemed quicker than the journey to school. It seemed only minutes had passed since she had scolded the dreadful boys when the train grew to a steady halt. She didn't know if she should laugh or hide with embarrassment as she caught sight of her beaming father, waving frantically at any, and all, of the carriages. His red hair danced with the rush of the train, and his usually pale skin almost blended with his hairline with the chill in the air. With a quiet chuckle, she bowed her head in shame as she noticed a hint of a purple pointed fabric, poking eagerly from his black jacket. She bustled to the door of the carriage, eager to be the first out, perhaps because she had missed him, more likely because if he didn't catch sight of her soon, it would only be a matter of time before he was bellowing her name down the platform.

Clumsily, she gathered all her belongings. Her coat she wrapped tightly around her, her overstuffed satchel dug into her shoulders, her suitcase dragged behind her. She cursed under her breath as the crooked wheel caught on every open doorway on her way out. Tucked under her arm, far more carefully than she would ever care to admit, she protected the journal, holding it close to her. Eagerly, Severus followed closely behind her, she was pretty sure he was half of what was tripping her case up. As soon as her foot touched the stone of the platform, her dad threw a heavy arm around her shoulders and used the other to grab her case. "It's good to have you back love," he grinned.

As she turned to walk away, she caught one last look at James. A spark of unexpected pleasure crept through her body and she concealed a smile as she noticed his eyes follow the book that was cradled under her arm. She refused to admit that it was very sweet when his eyes brightened and the corners of his mouth turned involuntarily at the sight of her. She raised a gloved hand and gave him a quick sweeping wave as they turned towards the wall. "A new friend?" Mr Evans queried out of genuine curiosity, he wasn't the type of father to interrogate any future boys. Anyway, she suspected that he would be relieved that Snape was not the extent of her friendships at Hogwarts.

"Huh." Snape kicked a stone along the ground behind them. It was often that they would lift share to and from Hogwarts.

"No?" Mr Evans turned politely, though he had little interest in Severus' response.

"He's just one of the boys in my class Dad," Lily interjected coolly, giving Snape no opportunity to pass a comment. She had just about forgiven him for his behaviour on the train, but she hoped that the Christmas break would at least give her a rest from the drama between the boys.

The minute she opened the door to her home, Lily was filled with a quiet loneliness. Although she loved her family, it was beginning to feel like visiting an English speaking country. Everybody can understand your words, but you are not considered one of them. Most people are fascinated in what you have to tell them, others find your constant referring to your own culture as annoying. The second the red door swung open, Lily was greeted by her mother, who was already looking her up and down to ensure that she had not been starved for three months. "Kettle's boiled. I've made up your bed. Your Grandma's coming tomorrow. We haven't decorated yet. Are you hungry? I haven't got much in, it's all Christmas food. There's some crisps in the cupboard. Did you have any lunch-"

"Mum!" Lily stopped her, shedding her coat and forcing herself past the doorway, "let me sit down first." She kicked off her shoes and flicked them towards the shoe rack, missing horribly. She gave her mum a quick hug before throwing herself down on the sofa and looking around the oddly normal room. Despite it being a week away from Christmas, the walls were bare, there was no tree and there was a distinct lack of sparkle in the room. A very odd contrast to the holly covered corridors that Lily had been walking through since mid-November. "We wanted to wait until we could decorate together. As a family. Isn't that right Petunia?"

Until now, Lily had hardly noticed her sister slumped in the cream arm chair, her stoney stare fixed on a barren branch that was bobbing in the wind outside the window. "Mm," came the barely coherent response. It was clear that time was not healing this wound particularly quickly. Perhaps Petunia had tried to make herself invisible, because that is how she felt. Lily thought back to her trip under the invisibility cloak with James and wondered what it would be like if she had one right now. What were her family like when she wasn't there? She imagined Petunia smiling and laughing, like they used to together. Did they talk about her when she wasn't there?

"The decorations at school have been up for weeks now," Lily started, "I bet your school has had decorations up for ages too, right Tuney?"

"Ages," her voice was flat and her eyes barely flickered in her direction.

Despite the break from school, Lily spent much of her holidays reading countless books on new spells and enchanting objects. She found herself feeling restless, with all this knowledge on magic that she couldn't practice at the drop of a hat. She loved decorating the house with her family, singing normal Christmas songs, and leaving cookies out for Santa on Christmas eve, despite the fact they were both many years too old to believe. Petunia even gave her a break on Christmas day to share cheesy cracker jokes and exchange presents. She had bought Petunia some sweets from Hogsmeade (as normal as she could find- a lollipop and some sherbet) and a scarf made from mooncalf fur (or alpaca fur if Tuney asks), and Petunia bought her a reading light to clip to her book and a sketch pad and paints.

Every now and again, Lily would let her mind wander back to James. Frustratingly, her thoughts ended up there a lot and she found herself shaking off any fondness she felt towards him. Despite this she sent him an owl on New year's eve, 'Reasons why a date with James Potter would be a valued experience number 2: he understands the difference between a magic trick and a spell'.

On watching the barn owl flutter away from her window, she regretted her letter. Potter was taking up far too much time in her head, this was no good at all. Either way, she glanced at the window at every opportunity, in case an owl came back. On new years day it did, 'Happy new Year Evans, here's your midnight kiss: x'

She quickly refolded the paper, concealing the message. She felt the heat rising to her cheeks, and she sighed and looked down to hide the flush from being visible on her face.

"What's that?" Petunia looked up from her book, noticing Lily's bizarre reaction.

"Just a letter. From one of my friends."

"Ugh is it from that freak? Snake or Sevelus, or whatever weird name he has." She spat as though she had been waiting to bring him up this whole time.

"No, not from Severus. A different friend." Lily quietly begged Petunia not to ask anymore. She feared that in her desperation to rebuild her friendship, she may tell her everything. She might admit truths that she hadn't yet admitted to herself.

"Oh is it that mean boy?" She asked, her tone softening slightly.

Puzzled, Lily replayed the brief conversations she had had with her sister about school over the holidays. She didn't recall mentioning any of her friends much, apart from Alice, Dorcas and Mary. "You read my letters?" Lily realised, her voice high with relief.

"Some." Petunia replied dully, "Only if the bird drops it at the door. I'm not touching it's let or beak. I'd get germs."