Madara lay in the hospital bed in Konoha's civilian hospital, slightly woozy on pain medication and dreading the arrival of the police officer who would undoubtedly be a Uchiha, and therefore would be able to see through the light Genjutsu he was using to keep the doctors and nurses from being able to remember what he looked like. Apparently, injuries such as the ones he had arrived with had to be reported to the authorities, which in Konoha meant the Konoha Military Police who handled civilian crime as well as crimes committed by or on non-ANBU Shinobi. He'd been forced to go to the hospital when the punctured lung he'd gotten when the Jinchuriki had broken a few of his ribs had decided to collapse, nearly killing him before he practically collapsed on the hospital's doorstep. This was really going to play havoc with his plans.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting while he vaguely drifted in and out, the police officer arrived. It was a Uchiha as he had feared. The bored looking man didn't even look at him before he pulled out a notebook however.
"Mr. Nakamura, can you tell me how you came to be injured?" the Uchiha asked, still not looking at him.
"I...I, um, fell down a flight of stairs." Madara said, unable to believe how his luck was holding out so far.
"Okay." the man said as he made a note in the little notebook before snapping it shut and turning to leave with a "Get well soon Mr. Nakamura." that was obviously a formality.
What an asshole. No wonder people around here hated the police. He'd have to get his revenge on his clan soon, before someone else snapped and killed the lot of them like he'd done to his father when he'd learned that he'd been named "Spots" after one of the man's childhood pets.
&!&!&
"Naruto, why are you asking me what to give to someone who is in the hospital?" Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage asked his successor's son who had once again burst into his office unannounced.
"The invisible person who lives in my underwear said you'd know." Naruto replied.
There was a story behind this, and the story was that Naruto had been looking vaguely in the direction of a small pile of dirty underwear when he had first heard the Kyuubi. When he looked around and didn't see anyone, he concluded that the person who was talking to him was invisible. It had just been coincidence that Naruto was looking back at the small pile of underwear when the Kyuubi had spoken again, but Naruto hadn't known that. Instead, Naruto somehow came to the rather erroneous conclusion that whoever was speaking to him was in the pile of underwear.
Suffice to say, Danzo had a rather interesting morning after going over the report that a Root operative who had decided to inform him that Naruto appeared to have learned a ninja technique from some underwear which he had been conversing with had sent him. The hapless Root operative in question found himself being tranqed and dragged to Root's Psych Nin much to his bemusement.
"The WHAT?" Hiruzen asked after nearly choking on his pipe.
/*^*\
Author's note: The Kun reading for the kanji character that means mottled, striped, and freckle is madara. Apparently, Madara's parents had hated him.