"Nothing" Jade said, but it was clear she was sad and she believed what they said. "Anyway, thank you for your help, but it's kind of late…you should go home" she added and they looked at each other.
"We are staying" Tori said and smiled nicely.
"Why?" Jade asked genuinely surprised.
"What do you mean why? Because we care about you" Cat responded and she smiled clearly not believing them.
"Thank you for your help" Jade said. "But really, you can go and rest, I'll be fine" She added calmly.
"Don't be ridiculous, it's not a problem." Tori commented, but Beck just kept staring at Jade, he knew her very well and he could see her thinking, he could almost read her mind.
"What are you thinking?" Beck asked because he knew exactly what was going through her mind at that moment.
"Nothing, I'm just tired" She said.
"We both know that's not true, just say it" He demanded slightly annoyed, he needed her to open up and let them help her. It was frustrating to see her shutting them away as usual.
"Okay, I'll say it: they are right, I know it and you know it too" Jade responded and shrugged "It is what it is"
"No, they are not right" Beck affirmed and she sighed sadly, trying to push the tears back but she felt them coming.
"It's not pleasant, but it's the truth and that's why it worked so well for them" Jade said as a couple of tears streamed down her cheeks "I have no one, my mom is gone and the rest of my family hates me, I might as well just…die, no one would care and they know that" she added coldly.
"What are you talking about? We do care" Andre affirmed.
"Come on, you know what I mean, we know each other from school…that's as deep as our connection goes" Jade commented "You're all here because you're nice people" She added confidently.
"No, we are here because we love you and we truly care about you" Beck responded "I love you Jade, our connection goes beyond school and you know that" He affirmed.
"Right" She said sarcastically "You're just saying that because you pity me and I get it, really, I do…but your life will continue just fine without me, it has for almost a year and it's okay"
"Honey, your friends do care about you" Anna said "You're not alone" she insisted and Jade looked away annoyed, she didn't believe that and she didn't want to because she knew she didn't deserve it.
"It doesn't matter, it's too late for me anyway" she affirmed. "I'm glad Evelyn and Roger will go to prison, but that doesn't change what happened, it's done, my life is done." She said angrily as she wiped the tears away, she felt so much impotence.
"Don't say that" Cat said sadly.
"Why not? Tell me, what are my options in life? I am a seventeen-year-old god damn hooker and drug addict who sleeps on the streets or in a hotel room if I'm lucky" Jade said coldly.
"That's not who you are, it's circumstantial" Luke responded and she laughed with irony.
"He is right" Beck added and she turned to him.
"Really? So, will you date me and pretend none of that ever happened?" Jade asked him and he sighed. "Yeah, I thought so, it's easy to say things will get better, but nothing will ever erase what I am" she affirmed.
"First of all, you're a victim of neglect and abuse, none of this is your fault" Anna affirmed.
"It is my fault because I made wrong choices and I played along, isn't that right, Beck?" Jade asked, she needed him to say it wasn't, she needed to feel validated by the person she loved the most, but she was sure he felt disgusted by her at that point.
"No, it's not your fault, Jade, they abused you, tricked you and exploited you for their own greed, they are the ones who should be ashamed" Beck said and she stared at him shocked, she had not expected him to say that.
There was silence for several seconds, Jade was just staring at him with a mix of confusion, relief and shock in her face. She was fighting it, but the tears started streaming down her face, so she covered it and broke out crying. Hearing those words from him meant the world to her, she was at the lowest point in her life and knowing he did not blame her, even though she blamed herself, was incredibly validating.
"It's okay, you will be okay…" Beck said as he hugged her, he was still fighting with himself inside, part of him did blame her but he knew that was his ego. He could rationally understand what those people had done to her, especially after hearing the way they talked about her, and he loved her, so he wanted her to be okay.
Jade cried into Beck's embrace for a minute and then she moved back, she took a breath and looked down, she was still ashamed to even look at him, but he held her chin up a little to make her face him.
"Hey" Beck said smiling sweetly and Jade tried to smile back, but she couldn't, she kept looking away.
"I'm sorry…" Jade said looking at the blanket on the bed.
"To answer your question, we could never pretend this didn't happen…because that would not be good for you" Beck commented and she sighed "But of course I would date you again, I love you and that has not changed"
"Are you serious?" Jade questioned confused "Beck, I'm a-" she started but he cut her off.
"You are a victim, Jade, a survivor, that is it" He informed "Get it in your head"
"Easier said than done" She responded with a little resignation smile "So, what now?" She asked Anna.
"Now, we get you help and we make sure those bastards pay for what they did to you, and by pay I mean, they will have to pay you retribution, for every picture and every video they have of you" Anna informed.
"Wait, what? They will give me money?" Jade asked shocked.
"Oh, you bet they will, our prosecutor is quite good, this will be one of the conditions for the plead deal" The woman explained, and the gang looked at each other, they didn't know that either.
"What does that mean? Like…practically" Tori asked curiously and Anna smiled at Jade.
"This means you will be set for 10 years at least; we will make sure the retributions to you are long lasting, they will need to pay for your medical bills, including therapy and with the settlement money, you'll be able to rent a place for yourself and go back to school" Anna explained and their mouths dropped, that was great news.
"You can't be serious…this is a joke, right?" Jade asked and her friends smiled.
"No, this is real…that will make their sentence less severe, as it stands now, they are facing life in prison, they will take the deal I promise" Anna said smiling and Jade stared into space shocked, she could not believe her ordeal was finally coming to an end, she felt it was a dream.
"Oh my god" Jade said as she assimilated the news.
"Jade, this is great!" Tori exclaimed happily and she took a breath as she nodded, she couldn't believe she would finally have stability, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd felt stable and secure.
"A fresh start" Beck added and kissed the top of her head, so she took a breath: a fresh start, that sounded so good, yet so impossible.
The trial passed and Jade indeed got a lot of money on the settlement, enough for her to rent a place and live comfortably for years, which helped her get off the street and she went back to school. However, even though weeks had passed, she could not stop feeling anxious and having nightmares, every time she went to sleep, she dreamed of the streets, she could feel the cold on her skin, the smoke around her and the men's hands all over her.
"Hey Jade" Tori said nicely as she joined Jade in the cafeteria, where she was just looking at her coffee and thinking, as she usually did, just getting lost in her memories.
"Hey" Jade said as she snapped out of her thoughts.
"How is it going?" Tori asked.
"Swell" She responded sarcastically, and Tori sighed.
"Jade, we are a bit worried about you" She said. "I mean, you're back but-" she continued, but Jade cut her off.
"We?" Jade asked coldly.
"Yeah, me and our friends" Tori said and Jade looked at her emotionlessly.
"Why?" She asked obliviously.
"You know why" Tori said like it was obvious.
"I'm fine" Jade responded "I am a lot better than I was a few weeks ago"
"I mean, yeah you got the money and the apartment, but are you really okay? Are you going to therapy?" Tori asked.
"I am fine, Tori, stop questioning me" Jade said annoyed.
"I just want to make sure you're doing everyth-" Tori responded, but Jade interrupted her again.
"Jesus, get yourself a hobby or something" Jade said and rolled her eyes "I am okay, I don't need you looking after me every second of the day" She added and walked away.
Jade had been through rehab for her drug addiction, but she had only stayed for a few weeks and every time she felt unstable, the first thing she wanted to do was take the drugs, they seemed the only escape for her, but she knew it was wrong, so she didn't share it with anyone.
One day. Jade was alone as usual in her new apartment, she knew she had reasons to be happy and calm, but she couldn't, she couldn't just forget about her time on the streets. Everyone kept reminding her it wasn't her fault, but deep down she knew it wasn't true, she knew she deserved what had happened to her and that guilt and shame would not subside, they only became stronger.
The truth was that back when she was on the streets, she was living her own punishment, she felt disgust for herself and having to live through the hardship made her feel she was atoning for her mistakes. However, now that she had stability and money to live comfortably, she felt dirty all the time, deep inside she knew she deserved to suffer for her choices, and she hated herself.
"Hey doll, you lost?" A man said to Jade as she walked down the street in her old neighborhood, she had decided to buy some drugs just in case she needed them.
"I want a bag" Jade said "I have money"
"How much?" He asked.
"Enough" She responded coldly and looked around as she grabbed some bills from her pocket, she handed them to the man and he smiled, he put his hand in his backpack and handed her a bag with some pills and other drugs in it.
"Our special mix" He said and chuckled, she looked at them and put them in her bag. "You look…familiar, didn't you hang out around the park at night?" He asked curiously and she looked to the side uncomfortably.
"None of your business" Jade said.
"It is you, well, how about that" He commented smiling surprised "Haven't seen you around lately, did you get yourself a rich daddy to take care of ya?" The man asked and laughed.
"Go to hell" She responded and walked away.
"Enjoy, princess"
Jade went home and put the bag on the table, she had told herself she would only have them in case of emergency, but the longer she stared at them, the more she convinced herself that she needed them right away. She simply opened the bag, took a pill and swallowed it, feeling a mix of peace and resignation, she was once again confirming to herself that she was a lost cause, which freed her to take more drugs in the end.
From that day on, Jade continued taking drugs every day, but she was very careful not to show it to her friends, she took them in the morning to be active during the day and at night to relax, she sometimes would take something at school as well, but always in the bathroom.
"Hey babe" Beck said as he walked into her flat.
"Hey" She said and hugged him.
"I brought frozen yogurt" He informed and showed her the grocery bag, so she smiled a little, but he knew her, he knew something was wrong, something had been off about her since she had come back to them.
"Great" Jade said.
"You okay?" Beck asked.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She asked back and smiled again, she had to pretend she was okay all the time. She didn't really believe Beck wanted to be with her, but he had been very consistent and the last thing she wanted was to be a burden, she figured the least she could do was to act happy.
"No reason, just wanted to make sure" He said and she nodded "Okay, let's watch the movie" He simply said and they went to the living room, but he kept staring at her and trying to figure out what was wrong.
The girl he used to date was long gone, and whoever stood before him was merely the façade. She smiled, she talked and she moved differently, so he felt odd around her, he could only hope to get Jade back, but as time passed, that seemed more unlikely.
I hope you guys enjoyed! :)
Please review, as I said, not quite over just yet...a lot of trauma left.