Mizuki looked down at the piece of paper that the ANBU who had appeared out of nowhere while he'd been putting his groceries away, causing him to drop a tin of beans on his foot had just handed him. Apparently, the Demon Brat had written something that was threatening to the village, and the Hokage needed to know how big a threat it was.

"Sure I can translate it. Just hand me a bottle of Sake and a couple of beers." he said. Translating the Demon's writing was always easier when he had a few drinks in him.

An hour later, he was on the job.

"Ya shhee here." he slurred drunkenly as he pointed to a spot on the paper. "Da Demon always writes in the wrong direction, horizon'ly lef' ta righ' like ya see on some signs an' things 'steadda up 'n down righ' ta lef'. An' he always mixes up his As an' Os, and a few others..."

&!&!&!&!&

Madara had been getting some much needed sleep when a familiar Chakra presence slammed into his senses and immediately snapped him back to wakefulness. Praying that the childish ruse would work and that the brat would go away if he thought he was asleep, he quickly closed his eyes again before the boy and the nurse that was with him reached his bed.

"Be quiet Uzumaki-kun." the nurse was saying softly. "Your friend is asleep."

"Okay." the brat said in something that was a little less than a shout, and was apparently the brat from hell's idea of an inside voice.

That was it, he couldn't take this anymore. It was time to put the plan he'd come up with last night into effect. One of them had to go, and despite his advanced age and the fact that he would be going soon irregardless, it wasn't going to be him.

"Naruto-kun, is that you?" he croaked.

"Yes Nakamura-san!" the boy shouted excitedly, causing him to flinch.

"I have a friend in the forest named Tobi that I want you to give this letter to. When you meet him, tell him that it's from Madara." he said as he handed the orders for the brat's execution that he'd written up last night over to the boy. "If you do so, he'll give you a bunch of candy."

"Okay Nakamura-san, I'll do it!" the brat yelled as he snatched the note out of his hand and raced off yelling "Yay! Candy!" as he raced down the hall.

When the boy departed, he indulged in an evil laugh. He hadn't been able to do one of those in quite a while as he needed to be seen as a reasonable and semi-sane person by those who followed him. Since he was in the ICU, and he didn't want to disturb that poor guy who had burns over eighty-percent of his body because he'd gone and messed with with a faulty explosive tag, he indulged in a quiet one.

&!&!&!&!&

The day nurse from Pediatrics who had been making her way to the ward in order to start her shift paused, wondering if the doctor who was in charge of the ICU during the day had gone insane. The normally serious and taciturn man was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"I just found out who our mystery patient is." the man choked out through his laughter.

"And?" she asked. Speculation as to the exact identity of "Mr. Nakamura" had been the talk of the hospital since he'd been admitted.

"I'm reversing hospital policy regarding the Uzumaki's little visits. Rather than waiting for an order from the Hokage, we will be allowing the boy to visit any time he wants. After all, the kid, or rather that thing we're not allowed to talk about, is practically family." the doctor said once he finally got his laughter under control.

"But considering how Nakamura-san usually reacts to the boy's visits, won't that...?" she started, wondering why the doctor wanted to do something that while amusing to some degree was detrimental to his patient's health.

"Kill him? Yes." the doctor said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my old friend Yashiro and apologize to him for some things I said eight years ago."

&!&!&!&!&

As Naruto made his way to the forest, he realized that Nakamura-san had given him his first name. He smiled upon realizing this. In such a short time, they had become such good friends that they were on a first name basis. He'd been told that that often took years.

Wait until the Invisible Underpants Man heard about this!

&!&!&!&!&

Tobi had been relaxing in a tree when a rather familiar looking blond child wandered into his section of the woods yelling his name. Today was his day off from training Itachi, and he was taking advantage of every minute of his break from the boy's moralistic whining.

"What do you want?" he asked as he dropped out of his tree and landed in front of the boy after making himself presentable, and pulling all of the twigs and leaves out of the long hair which he'd finally resolved to cut.

"Madara-san wanted me to give you this note." the boy said as he brandished the piece of paper he was holding.

"Well then, give it here." he said.

"Where's my candy?" the boy asked.

"What?" he asked.

"My candy. Madara-san said you'd give me candy if I gave you the note." the boy that he realized was the Kyuubi Jinchuriki said.

"I don't have any candy." he replied.

"Well then, no candy, no note." the boy said as he stuffed the note into his pocket.

He briefly debated on whether or not he should kill the brat. He ended up deciding against it. If kids started going missing, especially a certain blond child, people would become more vigilant and he'd likely be discovered, which would be bad for Madara-sama's plans.

In the end, he ended up deciding to follow the kid until he discarded the note, as the brat's screaming if he took the damn thing from him would have undoubtedly attracted ninjas. Ninjas, and awkward questions. Ninjas and awkward questions such as "Who are you?" and "What are you doing here?". He ended up following the boy the entire day.

Breaking into the boy's apartment was childishly simple, as was snatching the note from the boy's dresser without waking him. He opened the note and read it. It was orders for the boy's execution.

He wanted the brat awake for this...

"Now my little friend, it is time for you to..." he started, after he poked the boy awake.

SNAP! CRUNCH!

"YAY! I GOT MORE FRIENDS!"

Somewhere in the seal, the Kyuubi laughed. He'd been so focused on Madara, that he'd almost forgotten about that guy...

&!&!&!&!&

Madara had been fitfully dozing when a familiar Chakra presence hit his senses, dragging him to wakefulness. He opened his eyes to see what was going on.

"Nakamura-san." the nurse from the graveyard shift said when she noticed he was awake. "Meet Nakamura-san. He'll be sharing a room with you."