Chapter TWENTY ONE
The room was deathly quiet save for the sound of ragged breathing which EJ eventually realised was his. Betty was looking down at him with distressed eyes while EJ was simply trying to comprehend what had just happened.
"N… no?" said EJ, uncharacteristically stammering.
"No," repeated Betty quietly and stood up off his knee and walking over to the centre of the room before turning back around and facing him, wringing her hands nervously together.
"You don't want to marry me?" asked EJ faintly, feeling the numbing influence of shock claiming him now as he remained as he was, kneeling on the floor.
"Well there is nothing wrong with how things are between us EJ," she said hastily, "I don't think we need to change anything."
"Betty I love you," said EJ, slowly getting to his feet at last.
"I love you too EJ," she said quickly.
"Is there someone else?" EJ asked, the words excruciatingly painful to even imagine and a little frightened about what he might do if she said yes.
Of course it would have been all but impossible considering how much time the two of them spent together but old insecurities had reared up when she'd turned down his offer of marriage. Why else wouldn't Betty want to marry him wondered EJ in despair, unless there was another man out there who might make her think twice about it?
"No!" said Betty, looking utterly shocked by the suggestion which made EJ feel slightly better, "How can you even ask that EJ?"
"I'm sorry but this isn't making sense to me Betty," said EJ in confusion, "I want you to be mine and no one else's."
"I am yours EJ," she said with a stressed look, "We don't need to get married for that to happen."
"But I want to marry you Betty," said EJ urgently, walking over to where she was standing, "I want people to know that you're my wife – that we belong to one another."
"Why is that important if we know the truth in our hearts?" she asked him with hopeless shrug, "A ring and piece of paper doesn't change anything."
"They're symbols of our commitment to one another Betty," said EJ, working hard to keep his voice calm, "They are very important because they are public signs of our love for one another – that we hold each other more precious than anyone else in our lives."
EJ took a deep breath and tried to make her understand.
"I want to introduce you as my wife when we meet people," he said earnestly, "So that they'll know that we've chosen to be together forever – that we loved each other enough to make such a big commitment."
"You've been married before and that wasn't forever," said Betty quietly.
"Is that what this is about?" frowned EJ, trying desperately to work out why Betty had turned him down, "This is about my first marriage?"
EJ attempted to organise his jumbled thoughts and stop himself from panicking mindlessly at the thought he might be losing her. He drew closer to Betty, putting his hands on her arms and looking down at her intently.
"Sweetheart I married Nicole for all the wrong reasons," he told her earnestly, "We were both very selfish, self involved creatures who imagined ourselves in love for a brief time. We used each other to get what we wanted and not once thought to give back. It was a destructive, childish relationship that never satisfied either one of us. I had no peace, no sense of place when I was with her and yes, that made me behave badly. I want to be completely honest with you Betty – there were other women when I was married to Nicole. I'm not blaming her – it was my decision to behave like that and standing here in front of you now I'm deeply ashamed of the way I carried on in my marriage. I treated Nicole shabbily and told myself it was alright because we no longer loved one another. I should have left her a long time ago or better still never married her in the first place but I became stuck… used to being half dead I suppose until…"
"Until Samantha," finished Betty quietly, looking up at him with big blue eyes.
"Yes," said EJ softly, emotion choking the word, "I met Samantha and she changed everything for me, made me see that there was more to this world than what I'd been settling for. I'd imagined myself content with Nicole but as soon as I met Samantha I knew that I never had been."
"And then she died," said Betty, looking at him so seriously, "You fell in love with her and she died."
EJ looked away, his jaw clenching and unclenching tightly as he struggled with what he should say next. It was clear that Betty still didn't remember her past with him and everyday EJ wondered if he was doing the right thing in keeping the truth from her. It was so hard to know but then he had to question what good the truth would do him now except for upsetting Betty even more. She clearly had reservations about him and revealing that he'd been lying to her all this time wasn't exactly going to help him in his cause to get her to marry him.
"Betty," he said, turning back to look at her and swallowing hard as he chose his words very carefully, "If there had never been a Samantha then there would never have been you in my life which is a simply unbearable thought for me. Samantha taught me how to love, she woke me from a deep sleep but it is you Betty who is keeping my heart beating in my chest. It's your love for me and no one else's that does that miraculous thing. You are first in my heart Betty and always will be."
This declaration on EJ's behalf seemed to make Betty a little sadder and his hands tightened on her arms unconsciously.
"Betty I swear to you," he said urgently, ducking his head so that his face was level with her own, "I would never be unfaithful to you. That man who was married to Nicole doesn't exist anymore. You are the only woman I want, the only woman I'll ever want – you have to believe me!"
"I do believe you EJ," she said softly, "I never doubted your fidelity."
"Then why won't you marry me Betty?" he asked in despair, dropping his forehead against hers now, "You have to believe that I love you…"
"I do," she whispered up at him.
"And do you love me?" he asked, that sick feeling back as he waited for an answer.
"Of course I do EJ," she said with such heartfelt emotion that EJ allowed himself to hope again, "I love you so much that it hurts to think about it sometimes."
"So then marry me my beautiful girl," he groaned the request of her as he closed his eyes and rocked his forehead back and forth against hers, "End this torture."
"I can't," Betty said brokenly, her breath hitching painfully as she denied him again.
"Why?" he asked almost harshly, pulling back slightly so he could cup her face in his hands, looking down at her intensely, "Why can't you marry me sweetheart, what have I done? What can I do to make it better?"
"You haven't done anything EJ," she said shakily, "It's me – I'm the reason I can't marry you."
"What do you mean?" asked EJ having his turn at being confused now.
Betty moved away from him then, putting some distance between them as she wrapped her arms around herself in an almost protective fashion.
"I don't know who I am EJ," she said quietly, "You've just confessed to me all these things about your past and I can't offer you the same thing."
"That doesn't matter Betty," said EJ with a shake of his head and took a step towards her but she took a step back, holding up a hand to ward him off.
"I don't know anything about me EJ," she said achingly, "Not even my real name. I could have been anyone before the accident, anyone at all. I could have done some really terrible things, hurt a lot of people and I just don't know. How can I marry you when I don't know anything about the person I am? What kind of marriage would that be?"
"It doesn't matter who you were Betty," said EJ urgently, thrown by the fact that this of all things should be the reason she was refusing his proposal, "It doesn't matter who I was in the past either. It only matters who we are when we are together."
"That is easy for you to say because you remember who you are EJ," she said brokenly, "What if I'm a thief or I've killed someone? What sort of person ends up in the state I was down at the docks?"
EJ's heart dropped as he realised that these were all fears Sami had been carrying this entire time and keeping them to herself. It must have been eating her up inside to be thinking such things and EJ felt a renewed hatred for his ex-wife for having put such an innocent as Sami through this kind of torment.
"I know you Betty," said EJ firmly, intent on reassuring her, "It is simply not in you to hurt another person or to steal or be dishonest. A person doesn't change who they really are even if they lose their memory and I know you to be a good, kind hearted and generous young woman. There is no way that in your previous life before the accident that you were anything but all those things. Trust me on that sweetheart – I know people and I know you."
Betty bit her lip, seeming to take this in but then she fixed EJ with a hopeless look.
"And what if I'm married already?" she asked painfully, "What if I have a husband and children out there somewhere EJ? I can't possibly marry you EJ if there is even the slightest chance that I'm already married – have you even thought about that?"
Betty gave a desolate gasp then, clearly upset at the thought of it and she turned on her heel and ran from the room leaving a dazed EJ. The truth was Sami was still married but it was a fact that EJ had been conveniently ignoring, along with the reality that he should have informed the Salem police department weeks ago about Sami still being alive. All he'd been able to think about at the time was that she was alive and that he had a chance to win her love again. All EJ's energies had been focused on that but now the reality of the situation was intruding on the little haven he'd created with Betty.
Lucas would have to be dealt with and even though he'd heard a while back that the other man had moved on with his secretary he and Sami were still technically married and they would now need to get a divorce. Of course Nicole wouldn't be getting out of jail anytime soon seeing as attempted murder would still see her in jail for some time yet so EJ hadn't been overly concerned by withholding Betty's existence from the police. What he needed to do right there and then though was to stop Betty from running out of his life altogether. Clearly his proposal had re-opened old wounds and secret fears and EJ cursed himself for being so thoughtless.
"Betty!" he called out after her and started to give chase.
She was at the bottom of the stairs as he came out onto the landing and EJ quickly went after her, catching Betty just as she was scurrying across the living room and heading towards the door. EJ caught her halfway across and grabbed her arm, swinging Betty around to face him.
"You can't go!" he said more loudly then he'd intended but the blood was coursing through his veins wildly after giving chase and from the genuine fear that through his own thoughtlessness EJ had pushed Betty away.
"EJ," she said hopeless, her face wet with tears, "It's all such a mess – we can never be."
"Don't say that!" he said urgently, dragging her to him, "Don't ever say that Betty – it's like you're putting a knife through my heart when you say something like that!"
"What if I'm married EJ?" she wailed up at him, "What if my husband suddenly shows up on my doorstep one day? What am I meant to do then?"
"We'll deal with it," he reassured her in a rush, "There is nothing we can't get through together Betty, just don't leave me... please god don't ever leave me!"
Betty made a choked sob and threw herself into his arms.
"I don't want to leave you EJ," she said brokenly, clinging to him tightly, "But sometimes I get so scared about the future. Sometimes I think that if I really loved you I'd get out of your life so that you could find someone whole to love."
EJ couldn't bear to hear Sami say such things to him as he pulled back and grabbed her face between his hands again and began kissing her fiercely.
"No... no... no..." he groaned against her lips, "Don't ever even think that Betty – I can't live without you."
Betty squeezed her eyes closed at hearing that, fresh tears staining her cheeks. EJ began to kiss her tears from her face then as he continued to plead with her.
"We don't have to get married," he reassured her desperately, "Just don't leave me!"
"Oh EJ," she whimpered, "I can't."
Those two words were music to EJ's ears. He could deal with the question of marriage and telling Sami the truth about her past another time. Right now all he wanted to do was re-establish that bond between them, to hold her in his arms and make love to her once again so that there could never again be any kind of talk about her leaving him.
"I love you," he gasped, returning to their heated kisses even as his hands began to tear at her clothing, "I love you... I love you."
Betty groaned and her shaking hands began to pull at EJ's clothes, repeating his words back to him.
"I love you EJ," she said breathlessly, the high emotion between them quickly shifting into something more pressing – a need to claim each other's bodies again, "I love you so much..."
Somehow their clothes were gone and the mattress that hadn't quite made it up the stairs to one of the bedrooms was put to good use. EJ sat down on the mattress as Sami straddled him, finding himself swallowing a moan as she sank down on him, enveloping his near bursting manhood with her heat, immediately drenching EJ in her juices. They held each other's gaze almost unblinkingly as their bodies began to move together. Sami was controlling the pace this time, her feet braced against the mattress helping her to move up and down on EJ. It felt like they were reacquainting themselves with each other despite the fact that they'd already made love several times that day.
"I love you," EJ whispered again, wrapping his hands around her arms and gazing up at Sami adoringly, "Forever."
"You're everything to me EJ," she choked out, touching his face as their bodies began to become more demanding of each other.
As well as moving up and down on EJ's hardness Sami also began to roll her hips around him, forcing pleasured little groans from his lips.
"Oh god sweetheart," he said raggedly, his breathing becoming forced now.
"More?" she asked him huskily and brought her walls to bear down on him particularly hard as she asked the question.
"GODDD!" howled EJ, throwing his head back and to her surprise Betty immediately felt him flood her with his essence.
EJ held on tightly to Sami as he choked out his orgasm against her breasts. He normally had far better control but she'd scared him so much with talk of leaving him and refusing his marriage proposal. He felt as though he'd come this close to losing her all over again and his emotions were raw because of it. He was stripped bare before her and had little strength to control himself around her now. EJ felt her hands go to his back, stroking his shoulders calmingly as they heaved against her, delivering the last of himself into her while he gasped for his next breath.
"I love it so much when you do that inside of me EJ," she whispered throatily in his ear, "It's the best feeling in the world."
Sami was slowly clenching and unclenching around him now, milking him dry and EJ groaned against her neck. Holding onto her EJ carefully lowered Sami down to the mattress before pulling out of her and settled his head between her legs. Sami lay back on the mattress and sighed happily, loving it when he did this for her. He immediately attached himself to her engorged nub and began to nip and suckle at the sensitive peak. Sami gave a grateful groan; reaching down between her legs and burying her fingers into his almost jet black hair.
She arched her back and turned her head as he quickly worked about bringing about her own release. When she turned her head Sami noticed the large, ornately framed mirror resting against some boxes and waiting to find a home on the wall. It was propped up and she could see their reflection in the mirror. Sami gave a shudder of enjoyment at seeing EJ's dark head between her legs, the image extremely exciting to her and she instantly came, moaning out her release for him.
The whole time she did her best to keep her eyes fixed on the image of the two of them, loving how EJ was staying and enjoying lapping up not only her juices from her climax but his own that he had released into her just minutes before. The knowledge of that caused extra spasms of pleasure to pulsate through her. EJ was kissing his way up her body again now and Sami could quite clearly see and feel that he was ready for more already. Sami kissed him hungrily then, eager to taste herself and him in his mouth. EJ began to nudge her legs apart, his renewed manhood pushing against her entrance eager for more but Sami stalled him.
"I... I want to see," she said breathlessly.
EJ gave a little frown unsure what she meant.
"I want to see you taking me," said Betty unevenly, still trying to recover from her last release.
She turned her head and looked at the mirror and EJ followed suit, realising what she meant.
"Oh yes," he purred, wanting every intimacy possible between them and it excited him more than he could say the thought of Sami watching as he mounted her.
EJ rolled off Sami and onto his side, drawing her onto her side as well. He stretched out behind Sami, grabbing a throw cushion that was handily on a nearby chair and putting it under her head. Next he took her leg and lifted it up, supporting her with one hand underneath Sami's knee.
"Relax sweetheart," he whispered in her ear, "I'll do all the work."
Sami gave a little excited groan at the thought of that, letting her leg bend at the knee while EJ still held her leg up high in the air. She watched transfixed at their reflection in the mirror as EJ positioned himself behind her.
"Oh god," she gasped in anticipation as she saw his hugely engorged manhood settle between her legs and couldn't help but give a little quiver of excitement.
They both watched then as EJ slowly mounted her, gritting his teeth against the need to slam himself hard into her as Sami began to make excited little noises at watching him claim her. He buried himself into her as deeply as he could go and with his other hand EJ reached round and grabbed one of her breasts, rolling her nipple back and forth between his fingers, knowing how much she enjoyed that. They were still slightly swollen from all the attention he'd given them in the shower and EJ groaned to see them like that.
"God but I love your breasts," he moaned into her neck, "Are you sore sweetheart?"
"A little but don't stop," she said begged him, "Please EJ, I want to watch you take me!"
"Yes," he growled, beginning to move inside of her now, determinedly thrusting up into her but making sure that he withdrew almost completely from her so they both had the pleasure of watching him plunge his swollen length back into her.
"Uh... uhh... UHHH!"
Sami was making excited grunting noises at the sight, spurring him on even as she stared with rapt attention at the sight of EJ taking her. EJ was grateful that he'd already just come otherwise this would have been over all too quickly with how receptive Sami was being to this new element to their love making. As it was he managed to last for a good while, building both of their arousals to such a fever pitch that when that last moment came it was with a combined, impossibly fierce orgasm that left them both weak and sobbing for their next breath.
"God," he finally managed raggedly, holding onto Sami tightly as he met her gaze in the mirror, both of their faces flushed from such hard love making, "That mirror is definitely going in the bedroom!"
"You bet it is," panted Sami and then they both grinned at each other at that, the angst between them from earlier forgotten in that moment.
oooOOOOooo
Betty snuggled in closer to EJ, enjoying the sound of steadily beating heart. It sounded so familiar, so reassuring and after all the emotion of that morning she just wanted to stay like this forever. EJ eventually stirred though, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Would you like a cup of tea sweetheart?" he asked her softly and Betty smiled, having become quite addicted to the stuff being around EJ.
"Mm," she sighed contentedly but then went to stir herself but EJ stalled her.
"I'll do it," he told her and unwrapped his arms from around her and stood up.
Betty watched him as he dressed, sitting up on the mattress on the floor and couldn't help but admire him as he quickly pulled on his trousers but didn't bother with anything else. EJ had dragged from one of the nearby chairs to cover them with after having made love and Betty pulled the sheet up to cover herself as she watched him. EJ who was wandering through a maze of cardboard boxes looking a little lost.
"Try the one on your right," she offered up her suggestion to him, "The one on the table."
EJ did as she instructed and opened the box and a grin coming to his face.
"Success," he declared triumphantly, holding two mugs aloft for Betty to see.
"We need to start unpacking," she said with indulgent censure.
It was strange but all the anxiety she'd been feeling when EJ had proposed to her was completely gone, dissolving into nothingness after his heated lovemaking. Everything seemed to fall into place for Betty when EJ touched her. As long as he was with her all the things that didn't make sense in her life suddenly becoming perfected.
"Nonsense," said EJ, dismissing her suggestion easily with a big smile, clearly more relaxed after their lovemaking as well, "You need to stay exactly where you are and I'll bring us both a cup of tea to enjoy."
Betty smiled as she watched him now starting to sort through the various boxes looking for a kettle. His face was a picture of concentration as he tried to remember where he might have packed such an item. With a little cry of delight he delved into another box and emerged with a kettle now, shooting Betty another pleased look to which she just had to laugh.
"Matches," EJ mumbled, patting his trouser pockets and coming up empty.
He looked around for his coat jacket then seeing as he was only wearing his trousers.
"By the door," Betty said helpfully.
EJ smiled his thanks and padded over with his bare feet to retrieve a box of matches. Betty continued to watch him potter around, filling up the kettle, lighting the stove and beginning to unpack the brown paper bags full of groceries that EJ had picked up and brought back to the house before going to pick her up. He'd started humming again as he looked for the tea leaves next. The smile slid from Betty's face as she watched him then, something inexplicable coming over her. EJ was happily oblivious to her mood change, intent on making their tea.
"I'm her aren't I?" asked Betty suddenly.
EJ abruptly stopped what he was doing and looked up from the grocery bag he was currently unpacking. He looked over at her wide eyed as Betty sat on the bed, swaddled in the sheets, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms around her legs, a serious look on her face.
"I'm Samantha," she clarified at his shell shocked expression...