After sending that single text to Rachel a few days ago, Quinn hadn't received anymore texts or calls from the brunette. She figured the girl had just decided to call it quits for now and leave it until Quinn was ready.
She really is too good for me.
Quinn really did want to talk to Rachel. It tore her up to see her looking so defeated and she knew it was her doing. She constantly had battles with herself on whether or not to confront Rachel and talk about the kiss but she couldn't.
Talking about it would mean acknowledging that she had (and probably for a long time) feelings for Rachel. Admitting she had feelings for Rachel would mean admitting that she had an attraction towards girls. And admitting she had an attraction towards girls would mean her world would be turned upside down. They lived in Lima, Ohio and people there weren't very open minded to things like sexuality.
When Kurt came out, his father had been nothing but loving and supportive of his son. That didn't change the fact that he still got crap from kids at school and got called names as well as frequent slushie facials.
She wouldn't say that Britt and Santana's coming out was easy because it definitely wasn't. There were tears, songs, drama, declarations of love and more tears. Quinn could see it killed Santana seeing Brittany with Artie and that was enough for her to swallow her pride and admit she was in love with the girl. The fact that Santana was so sure of her love for Brittany was the driving force that allowed them to take everything on. She managed to come out to the Glee Club, the school and her family. It had been a bit hard with Santana's family. Her parents had freaked out a bit when they first found out and words were exchanged. But eventually, they got over it and realised how much Brittany meant to their daughter. Her abuela was yet to speak to her after she told her about her sexuality but all in all, her family accepted her relationship with Brittany and were supportive of it.
It made Quinn wonder what would happen if she told her mom. Would she freak out? Would she cry? Would she lash out and kick Quinn out? Quinn came from a very Christian background and she knew her family already went through an emotional rollercoaster when she got pregnant. She still got stares and looks from people at church. Some were scrutinizing, some disappointed and some just full of pity. What would happen if she added lesbian to the mix? She couldn't think that way. She wasn't like that.
I'm not like that.
She went over these thoughts in her head thousands and thousands of times.
I can't be. Not me. I'm Quinn Fabray, HBIC of William McKinley High School. I'm not gay. I don't have feelings for Rachel. I don't. I-I'm not...
As much as Quinn wanted to tell herself otherwise, she couldn't deny it.
She was in love with Rachel Berry.
A/N: Sorry, it's just a quick and short chapter today. I wanted to update today and hopefully get the next chapter out tomorrow. I think next chapter will probably be the last one, but we'll see. Either way, thanks for sticking with the story, guys. Again, I really appreciate it. R&R!
-Seena