*Runs up *

Sorry! Can't stop! ON A FRICKIN WRITING ROLL! :D Hopefully I can keep it going! New chap as fast as possible!

Tell me what you thiinnnnnnkkkkkkkkk! *puppy eyes *

*Takes off again *

BL FlaminGO

P.s. Lol. BL...XD

Always

Chapter Ten: Mementos

"You feeling any better?" Yuu asked as Hisashi brought the mug of hot coffee to his mouth. The blonde swallowed the hot, soothing liquid and nodded, blinking at the sandpapery feeling of his eyes.

The two co-workers had found a coffee shop up the street and had taken a back corner booth, though there was only one person here so they didn't have to worry about privacy. The only other customer, a tall, golden haired man with tons of piercings and a blue store apron, sat at the other corner of the shop, absorbed in a pink manga volume.

Yuu took another sip of his tea, his red eyes peering at the blonde across from him. Hisashi toyed with a packet of sugar, pressing his lips together nervously.

"Araki…" Yuu chided quietly.

Hisashi nodded.

"I know. Sorry, I just…don't really know where to start."

Yuu smiled encouragingly.

"Well, you said you're mother is German and that you used to live in Tokyo. Start with those."

Hisashi nodded. He took another sip of the black coffee and a very deep breath before he began.

"Well, I was actually born here in Tokyo, twenty-four years ago. My mother was an assistant to the German ambassador and my father met her through work. They were married for a year before I was born. But, there was a complication and she died giving birth to me."

Yuu's eyes softened.

"I'm sorry."

Hisashi nodded.

"Then when I was six, my father remarried another woman he met through work named Kukichi Saki. She had a son named Shino who was ten years older than me, and he became my stepbrother. Saki-san and I have always been so so in our relationship, but despite our age, Shino and I became really close.

"But…about six years later, Shino was driving back from college on a rainy night. Another car that was speeding slid off the road and hit him, and they both rolled and crashed…everyone was killed."

"Oh my god…" Yuu breathed. Hisashi swallowed and continued, pain starting to creep into his voice.

"I—I…After my stepbrother died, I don't know what happened to me. I stopped eating and I couldn't sleep, couldn't think or do schoolwork. I became so ill that my parents rushed me to the hospital. They had a doctor evaluate me and he said that I had a form of posttraumatic stress disorder, probably because I had such a violent birth and my mother had died. I was taking Shino's death so hard that I was physically ill. My parents tried a lot of counseling and treatments, but nothing seemed to work. One doctor finally suggested that a change of scenery might help, so my father arranged to be transferred and we moved to Hokkaido.

"We moved into a large house that was way out in the countryside. There was only one other house out there, and it belonged to a mangaka."

Yuu nodded.

"Rurouri Renaka."

Hisashi returned the nod.

"Yes, though Rurouri is a penname. Her real family name is Hajime. On the first day we moved in, they came over to welcome us, Renaka-san and her son Atsushi."

Yuu's eyebrows shot up.

"Ijuuin-sensei never mentioned Rurouri-sensei had family."

Hisashi took another sip of coffee.

"She was married for a couple years before her husband died of illness. Atsushi was about my age and having lost his father, he somehow knew exactly what would help me. We became inseparable, never wanting to be apart. I think I once spent three solid weeks at his house without going home." The slightest whisper of a chuckle almost escaped Hisashi's lips. "And I even called Renaka-san my second mother when I was younger. And she called me her second son. "My parents were relieved that I was regaining my health, and so they let me spend as much time at the Hajimes' as I wanted. Renaka-san and Atsushi were always working on her manga pages and she had assistants coming and going all the time. Hah, Atsushi told me that he cut his first piece of toner at four, and that he was born to make manga. Eventually I started to help them, and Renaka-san taught Atsushi and me how to draw and paint and write calligraphy and just about everything art related."

Yuu chuckled.

"I can see that. She taught you well. That's why you're so good at hands."

Hisashi let out another disguised chuckle.

"Wanna know something funny? I used to suck at drawing hands. Even Renaka-san said I was terrible. I used to draw just blank ovals where the hands should be and leave them like that, but Atsushi said I diminished the quality by leaving them blank. So he began to model for me, making me draw nothing but hands for months and months on end till I could see them when I closed my eyes at night! I drew his hands so much that I could draw them from memory, so then I started on the assistants' hands and Renaka-san's hands and my parents' and just everyone. But…out of everyone, I still think Atsushi's hands were the best. I almost remember his hands more than his face."

Yuu suddenly thought of something.

"Do you have a picture of them?"

"Yes," Hisashi nodded, digging into his pocket. He flipped through his wallet for a few seconds and finally pulled out a crinkled picture. Yuu took it from him, raising an eyebrow at the three people sitting on an outdoor swinging bench. The first person on the left was a middle-aged woman who radiated the epitome of female Japanese beauty, with a lovely face, beautiful eyes, and pitch-black straight hair that was plaited in a long braid. She sat confidently and proudly, her arms crossed and a knowing smirk at her lips. Yuu looked to the next face and almost laughed as he saw a much younger Hisashi who sat with a huge, dorky, shy grin. Yuu glanced up at the person before him and his smile slightly fell as he noticed how weathered the present Hisashi had become, and he wasn't even that far into his twenties.

And finally, the last face in the row belonged to a tall, handsome guy who had his arm around Hisashi's shoulder. He was clearly the woman's son right down to deep dark hair and the smirk he wore on his lips. But other than that, he looked like the kid your parents always warned you to stay away from in high school. His raven hair was cut into a wild black Mohawk and he had a menagerie of piercings on his ears, eyebrows, and even one on his lip. Yuu's eyes peered farther down and widened as he saw the guy wearing a gray, striped hoodie and a black chord necklace with a white rock tie to the end.

"This is Atsushi?" Yuu asked, though he already knew.

Hisashi nodded and took the picture back, his lips pulling into the slightest smile as he looked at it.

"He doesn't look like I pictured." Yuu smiled jokingly. "Looks like the high school delinquent."

Hisashi rolled his eyes, smiling slightly.

"He looked badass, but really he was a big otaku goofball who had every action figure ever made and wrote fanboy letters to voice actresses. And he was always running around the city taking pictures of trashcans and asking people if they would model for him and just being a dork."

Yuu chuckled.

"I see. Okay Araki, forgive me but there's one thing I really wanna know…what's with the rock?"

Hisashi's smile fell a little, but he reached into his hoodie and brought the rock out.

"When Atsushi was a kid, his dad traveled to Okinawa. He went to the beach and just picked up a rock and gave it to Atsushi. And after his dad died it became a memento for him. It was the most treasured thing he possessed."

"So why do you have it?" Yuu asked gently.

Hisashi sighed and continued his narrative.

"Well, when Atsushi and I got to be around twenty, we started to take our manga work a lot more seriously. Atsushi actually began drawing characters and writing down the plot for his own shounen manga, which he had planned to publish. But, even if you're related to a popular mangaka, it's a hard business to get in to. He stressed about it a lot, so one day I told him that I'd go wherever he went, whether he stayed in Hokkaido or went to Tokyo to try to make it big, that he'd never go alone… because he was my friend. Then on my twenty-fourth birthday, I woke up to find an envelope by my bed. Inside was Atsushi's rock and a letter written in calligraphy."

"What did it say?" Yuu asked. "I mean, just give me a synopsis."

"Don't need to," Hisashi smiled sadly. "I memorized it. It said,

'My Dearest Friend,

You cannot know what it means to me to know that I will always have you by my side. Ever since we were young I have thought of you even when you were sitting right next to me, and I prayed to every God whose name I knew that I would have you forever. You're friendship, your presence, and your love are the things I treasure the most. So I am giving you what I cherish most so that my two treasures are together.

Araki. Hisashi. Sashi-chan. What ever name you are called by, please know, I love you. And I always have.

Love,

Atsushi.'

Yuu's eyes went wide.

"He was in love with you?"

Hisashi nodded, but more pain was surfacing in his eyes.

"What did you say to that?" Yuu asked.

Hisashi's lip began to quiver.

"I told him 'thanks! I love you too!'"

Yuu's eyebrow creased.

"Wait, what…"

"I didn't understand what he meant by the letter," Hisashi said, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I was such an airhead, I thought he loved me like a brother or as a friend. I honestly had no idea it was romantic love."

Yuu's eyes went wide.

"Oh no…"

"Yes," Hisashi creaked out. "I can't imagine how he must've felt when I belittled his feelings like that. It still haunts me. But after my birthday, things just continued. Atsushi began working on his manga and I helped but… he just never said anything. He had this look on his face, this faraway look, as if he were always thinking about a problem but he could never come to a solution.

"But, just a couple months after that, we went for a walk in the woods. Atsushi said he had something to tell me. We went out and were alone and then he placed his hands on my shoulders and said, 'Sashi, do you love me?' And I said, 'Of course I love you. You're my friend.' But then he said, 'No Sashi, not as friends. Do you really love me?'

"I still didn't understand what he meant so I just stood there. Atsushi finally sighed and said 'Like this' and…he leaned down…and his kissed me."

Hisashi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the slightest pink flush creeping into his cheeks.

"Then, after he let go…I…I completely freaked out. That kiss made me realized so many things I'd wondered about all at once and my thoughts started racing and I…I just couldn't take it. He kept trying to talk to me but I felt so scared and betrayed and I shoved him away and I took off running.

"He came to my house that night and I yelled all these terrible things at him and I cried and had the biggest breakdown since the time after my stepbrother died. It went all the way to the point where I had a panic attack and had to be taken to the hospital because I stopped breathing. Atsushi went with me but he stayed out of the room, even when Renaka-san came to see me. But I…I didn't know that that would be the last time I would ever see him…"

Hisashi closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Yanase," He muttered. "But…I—I just need a few minutes."

Yuu nodded.

"No problem."