11. Alive again.
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Hey, remember me! I AM STILL ALIVE. Some of you say that I won't finish this story. LIES. Unfortunately though, this IS my final school year and I have way too much work. Anyway I owe it to you to write so here we go.
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After a couple of hours foot steps broke the silent she needed most. The door was violently opened and her two sisters entered the room. Marie didn't want to remove her head from the pillow she was hiding under. She just wanted them to go away and leave her alone. It was too soon to deal with any other person but herself.
Lee didn't care at all about how awful her sister was feeling. Marie had skipped lunch without any good excuse and she was up there since she came back from wherever she had gone this morning. Lee was still upset by her sister's rude behavior but decided not to broach this issue. However she had to teach her a lesson.
May was also confused. She thought that the Eds avoiding the Kankers, was something common that would never change. That deep inside them, they were all loved by their boyfriends who hadn't the courage to admit it. In her mind relationships were the same as second grade. Edd and Marie not being together was just the way it had to be.
Lee and May lift the one side of the mattress up, making Marie fall down to the hard, cold floor. Then May removed Marie's pillow from her head, which Marie was still using to hide, and Lee turned her with no mercy upside down so her face would be looking directly at them.
Marie was standing for hours with her head in her pillow so the light was too bright for her and she couldn't even open her eyes.
Lee and May forced her to get up and carry her to the bathroom. Marie was still in no position to resist. They filled the bathtub with cold water and they threw their sister inside, with her clothes still on.
"That will wake her up." Lee said and they left the room shutting the door behind them.
Marie opened her eyes instantly. The freezing water felt like a thousand pricks on her warm skin. She got out from the bathtub and removed the wet cloths from her shivering skin. The cold was hurting her but she couldn't exactly feel it. She grasped a towel and covered her naked body in its warmth. She was alive again.
For the past hours Marie had been trapped in a state between awake and asleep, between life and death, between reality and fiction. She wasn't sleeping, but everything she was seeing seemed far away and unreachable. She wasn't dead but she couldn't move or sense anything that would remind her of life and what is like. She knew the reality but her imagination was making scenarios about what would had happened if she had react differently, and that was confusing her.
Lee and May didn't know at the time, but by torturing their little sister they had actually saved her from an endless coma. They had brought her back to life.
Everything was new now to Marie. The sense of the soft towel to her cold, now, body, the action of breathing, the beating of her heart which was louder and stronger than ever, causing her pain. The same increasable, irresistible pain that she had managed to escape in that weird state, between sleep and awake. Everything started to affect her again. Life seemed so real.
She dropped the cozy towel and put some dry cloths on. Then she walked slowly till her window. The scene was completely different from the same morning. She could see clearly the green hills, which weren't actually close to the trailer park, but seemed like they were standing just bellow her feet. The thick rain had gone living only some drizzle. The clouds were pale gray and orange and they were leaving some sunrays of light from the setting sun to pass between them. It was beautiful and calm.
Marie felt so relaxed. But a weight was holding her heart strongly. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to run and scream "I'm sorry. I forgive you. I love you." This was the only thing she could think of. The only thought which was burning her mind in all the hours she had spent in silence.
Silence. She couldn't stand any more silence. Silence was what had brought her in this point, what had caused her so much pain, what had kept them apart. And now it was ego, stupid selfish ego which was holding her so tight that she could barely breathe.
She grabbed her dark gray slicker from her closet and run downstairs. She left the trailer without even giving a glance to her sisters. What used to mean "family" now meant nothing at all; what use to mean "friendship" now was all gone. She didn't even want to call them her sisters. But didn't know how else to call them.
Marie was for one more time running. Not to escape but to find. To find the thing she wanted and needed and couldn't live without after all this time and words and hate and pain.
Like a shadow she was passing by the dense woods which were surrounding her. The sun had set and took away the last piece of light and warmth. The ground was muddy from the rain and the leaves were wet. A veil made of fog was forgotten by the rain and had become one with the forest. Some drops of icy water fell on her face. The eerie atmosphere meant nothing at all.
Among the trees a white shade past by her side. Close enough to notice its existence but way too far to realize what it was. Like a ghost from the past it reminded her the very same morning. But what does a ghost need from a person who isn't alive? How can a shadow mess a dead girl's life?
But she was. She was still breathing in and out. Her legs were moving, moving her away from it, as it seemed to run too to the opposite direction, returning to her home. Her heart was still beating loud and clear like the tempo of an old slow song. Could IT hear her heart and destroy it?
There was an empty space among the trees. The light of a new dawn besides the foliage made her continue without thinking what the thing she had seen was. It wasn't the light of the sun but of the Luna above the cul-de-sac, witch was right ahead. It was night already.
Marie stopped her race with time. She couldn't go anywhere. She had to go somewhere but she had no place to go, no place to wonder, no one to care. Except him… yet, it was too late. What would his parents say? His parents weren't home. They were never home at this time of the year; they weren't home almost any time of the year. It would be just him at home. He alone.
She started walking again and carried on till she found the front door of his house. Her hand stood still besides the doorbell, not knowing what to do. She hesitated, afraid what he might say. Well there wasn't anything more to say, except, "I am sorry".
"I never thought a word was so hard to pronounce. I never thought this word was hard to voice. I was laughing with the lyrics of the song "Sorry seems to be the hardest word". However here I am and my voice is motionless. Cause it isn't the word I am going to say that frightens me, but the one which follows. I am sorry. For what I said, for what I've done and for what I haven't done. I lo" Her monolog ended violently by a sob.
Marie's voice broke in two. She couldn't continue. Not in front of a locked door. She had to ring the bell. But she didn't. She ran till she was far away from the house. Then she decided to take a long walk again, to clear the dizziness of her mind, to dry her tears.
One step at the time, steadily and slow till you reach your destination. If you don't have a destination, what happens next? Nothing. Simply deeply nothing. Again and again. Repeating in your mind till your heart gets tired of sorrowing and forces you to act. One step at the time and you'll be there when you're ready.
She was again in front of his door, stepping on his doorstep and trying to stay still. She pushed her finger against the doorbell and forced it to stay there. The bell rang for a long moment and then… silence again.
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Small but you're gonna thank me latter. Because if you think that things are complicated now and you are waiting to see what is gonna happen next, then you have no idea what is waiting you! I am evil, but you wouldn't love me if I weren't. Love you all and see you at my next chapter. And I haven't and I won't forget you guys but I have absolutely no free time so I need some leniency. Buy, oh! And marry X-mass!