12. Love

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I was a bit worried about how to continue this story. There aren't many chapters left, or ideas. Anyway I should start writing. Oh warning: at some point in this chapter you will want to hit me, but don't! Remember this is NOT the final chapter of this story. And I am sorry for taking me so long to publish it.

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Her finger was still on the doorbell but the sound had stopped since long. No reply, not even the sign of the slightest movement inside the empty house. Double D wasn't home.

Marie tried to convince herself that he had probably gone to one of his friends for the night. She really wanted to see him but she couldn't bare facing Ed's sister or even worst, Eddy and their shouting and yelling. She would turn back and visit him again in the morning. He should be home by then.

She continued to her way back home. As she was walking she noticed Rolf in his front yard. He was still up, covered with sweat, wearing no top but just a pair of blue jeans even if the night was cold for summer. The tiring work which is required, to take good care of a piece of land was keeping him warm. She wouldn't have stopped if he hadn't called her name. And he wouldn't have noticed anyone than her.

They started chatting about nonsense when Rolf observed the full moon above their heads. As a good friend volunteered to walk her home, telling her the myth of the horrible beast that ate his goat when he was just a little boy, when she refused, in order to persuade her, and since Marie had to walk through the woods in the middle the night at the end of his story telling (which didn't last as long as accepted) she had to agree.

The safety and security she felt is part of a greater gift called friendship. The guilt and the pain is when that friendship is just the result of lack of movement. The one can't take one step forward and the other can take one step backwards. But their bonds are so deep and the need is so bad that neither of them can release, so they are doomed to stay together till one of them takes that one step and save their friendship or destroy it forever.

They were walking in silence, perfect motionless silence. They didn't need to say anything to know what was on each others heart. Love in very different forms, ways and people. Love coming from loyalty, from guilt, for friendship or for romance, from no choice or future what so ever but with living breathing hope.

"You heard about the scholarship?"

"What scholarship?"

"The smart Ed boy gained a scholarship for a very good college."

"Well I'm sure Double D is very happy with his achievement." Marie said while trying to control a sob coming from her chest.

"Rolf also thinks he should have been, but he wasn't."

Marie stopped walking leaving Rolf few steps forward. Her eyes were filled with tears and Rolf heard her sobbing. He came closer to her and when he realized that she was actually smiling while crying he thought she was loosing her mind!

"Are you all right?"

Marie just couldn't stop laughing. A cold and painful laughter coming from her icy, hurt chest was feeling the void between them. Her tears were running down her chin like a small river making its way through the mountains, but she was laughing. Holding her stomach so she wouldn't fall and trying not to open her eyes she just kept laughing.

"Marie?" Rolf yelled again terrified.

"Do you know why, ha-ha, why he wasn't happy?" She paused and opened her eyes. "Do you want to know why when he heard such good news he couldn't enjoy them?"

Rolf didn't respond.

"Do you want to know what happened?" Marie shouted looking Rolf straight into his eyes. She was serious now. The irony had swept away living a brutal reality too cruel for anyone to bear. "Why the most happy moment of his life passed by and he wasn't able to smile? WHY?"

Rolf hadn't understood anything and didn't know how to explain her weird behavior.

"I CRUSHED HIM. That's why." Marie yelled with voice filled with angriness and shame that broke when she finished her sentence. She wasn't laughing anymore. She wasn't even smiling. Her tears had dried and her sobbing had stopped. Her expression was lost. "I crushed him." She said again with a lower tone. "I told him many things, cruel and heartless things, I should have never said. And now it's too late. TOO LATE, you hear me. And I can't change it."

"Rolf can't understand why are you saying these things?"

"He said he loves me and I said it was too late."

"If he says he loves you, he does, no matter what."

"How can you be sure?"

"BECAUSE, I know." and with that words Rolf realized that they were outside the trailer-park. He looked at her feeling sorry for saying these last words. "You should be going now."

"Thanks Rolf," Marie paused "For being such a good friend, thanks."

"I'll be here for you every time you need me." Rolf said, turned around and left with a small pace and a half-broken heart.

Marie passed by many dark quiet trailers till she reached her own. The lights of the second "floor" were closed but she thought she saw a movement from the window. It was a hard day and she didn't have the courage to pay any attention. Her sisters would be sleeping in front of the TV so they wouldn't bother her with annoying questions.

She opened the door of her home only wanting to fall asleep again but what she saw made her speechless.

Double D was there. Inside the trailer. Inside her trailer. She couldn't see him clearly but she saw his hat. He, he was holding Nazz tight in his arms. Nazz looked right at her with a small smile filled with satisfaction in her face. When Double D understood that someone had entered the trailer he tried to break free, but she didn't let him squeezing him harder. And when he finally managed to let her of him he saw Marie standing at the door motionless.

"I can explain." He said with eyes wide open from the surprise.

But Marie couldn't hear a thing.

She ran outside her house leaving the door open behind her.

In the entrance of the trailer park she yelled Rolf's name. She started running towards the woods again.

"ROLF!" she screamed in a loud begging tone.

Luckily Rolf wasn't far away. He stopped when he heard her voice, not knowing what she was saying, and started running towards her sound.

"Rolf!" Marie said when she saw him in relief. Her voice broke into tears and she ran into his arms. She knew that there would always be some spare room for her in his heart and a hug just for her, even if that wasn't any fair. She was safe now.

"What happened?"

She didn't respond. She placed her face in his chest in order to control her snobs.

"It was him?"

Again Marie didn't say anything, she just shook her head in response and a huge sob escaped from her lungs.

"I see…"

After a while Marie had stopped crying. Rolf's arms were really cozy and helped her relax. But her troubles were still killing her. The terrible memory of what she saw at her home, but it was late. She had to return home.

"I don't know where to go anymore? I can't go back." she said and realized that Rolf was carrying her somewhere.

"You can stay in my house for a while."

"And, what about your parents?"

"They have returned to our country to spend the rest of the summer. Nana wanted to visit the relatives."

"Thanks."

These were their last words for the rest of the night. She couldn't talk because she had barely the energy to stay awake and if he wasn't carrying her she would just have stayed in the forest unable to walk and be freezing to death in her sleep. He didn't talk because his anger was beyond any imagination.

By the time they'd reached the house Marie had already fallen asleep in his arms. He carried her till his bedroom and he placed her on his bed. She lied there peacefully. Rolf stayed on the door staring her for a few minutes.

He closed the door of his bedroom carefully so he wouldn't wake her up. He could go to sleep in his parent's bedroom but any desire for that had abandoned him. He left again from his house. The fire inside his chest was burning him. He ran until he reached the Cankers trailer.

He would smash the door and let himself in if he hadn't heard a conversation through the open window. Inside were Lee, May and Nazz talking loudly. Rolf stayed there eavesdropping. Everything was clear now.

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BEFORE YOU START THROWING ROCKS AT ME, give Double D a chance to explain himself. This story is NOT over. So don't kill me, yet. Ok?

But you can review if you want. (Please review!)