Chapter Three: Promise

That night, they walked hand in hand on the beach, the repetitive noise of the calm sea creating a peaceful atmosphere between them. They walked for what only seemed like a few metres, but was, in fact, almost a kilometre. Ahead, the beach seemed to never end, and it made Serena think that as long as they kept walking, never stopping, nothing bad could ever happen to her. He was there, with her, and that was all she needed to keep going. She was prepared to never go back, to give it all up for him; the clothes, the money, the popularity, the press. Nothing was as important to her as he was. And she intended to never let him go again. She wouldn't lose him again.

Soft music interrupted the silence, as they reached a small restaurant holding a small wedding on the terrace. They stopped and watched the bride and groom swaying gently to the music. They looked so happy, like they were the only two people there at that moment. They seemed to be infatuated with one another, and Dan remembered moments when he looked at Serena and she became the only one standing in the room. Anything else around him would be covered by an impenetrable blur, the only one shining being her.

'When we were together,' Serena spoke, interrupting Dan's thoughts, 'I always thought that would be us someday,' she whispered, and rested her head on his shoulder. 'I never was the type of girl obsessed with getting married and planning my wedding from fifteen, but when I was with you, I couldn't not see us at the altar, exchanging vows.' Dan wound her arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He had imagined it too; so many times, that it actually seemed possible that Serena van der Woodsen would one day become Serena Humphrey. 'And look at us now,' she continued, her tone suddenly sad. 'Three years ahead, and we have run away together, after making up and breaking up three times, the terror of Gossip Girl, Nate, Vanessa, the hate and lies, Aaron and Tripp and Collin, and, to top it all off, you having a son for a couple of months with the one person I hate most. Some would look at all this, and just give up. But I can't. I look at it and I think that it made us stronger, it has allowed us to become able to withstand anything. It has finally given us a chance to maybe even make it as far as to, one day, dance at our own wedding. After our horrible past, we could finally be able to make it into the future. And I want it, Dan, I want us to work this time. So much,' she whispered and hid her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around him, too.

As much as he hated to see her worried and upset, Dan couldn't wipe the smile that stuck stubbornly to his face. Hearing her say those words gave him reason enough to fight against her world, a world he was now a part of, but didn't belong to. He belonged with her. Wherever she would be.

'Hey, don't worry,' he soothed, rubbing her back with one of his hands. 'I know we'll make it this time. Do you want to know why?'

'Why?' she challenged, her face still hidden in his chest.

'Because you've said it yourself, a long time ago. You and I are forever,' he declared.

She was overwhelmed by the emotions stirred inside her when he said that. She was secretly happy at the fact that he paid so much attention to her throughout these years, and that he would still remember from the little to the big things of their relationship. The song she picked on their first date, her love of his seafood paella, now this, it was little things like these that would make it hard for her to remember why they ever broke up.

'Promise me,' she whispered in his chest, 'promise me that we will be together forever,' she urged, insecurity taking over her. She couldn't justify it, but she needed to hear it from him in order for it to become possible. It was weird, but true, and it happened to her once before; when she asked him to explain why he loved her.

'Serena, I promise you that I will never be as stupid to let you go again. No matter what everyone else thinks about us, no matter how hard it will be, I promise this time, we will be forever. I promise.' He whispered the last bit after burying his face in her hair.

She sobbed quietly as he held her, and he didn't realise until he could feel her weakened body shake in his arms.

'Hey, don't cry, Serena,' he soothed, cupping her face with his hand. She tried to smile, although tears were still running down her cheeks, and sobs were still putting pressure on her lungs. He brought her face closer to him, touching his lips to her temple, softly, for a second. Then, he moved them to her cheek, keeping them there a while longer. She didn't think; she acted on impulse and twisted her head, pressing her lips gently on his. He responded to her kiss, immediately after muting the annoying voice inside his head telling him they were moving too fast. This time, he was acting with his heart, and it was telling him this was right. It felt right. Their lips moved together in a much too well known routine, moulding against each other. Instinctively, Serena wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him close, while his arms were locked tightly around her waist. It was like old times again.

xoxo

'So...um...goodnight,' Dan said as he sat on the end of Serena's bed. She was resting her back on the bed board, holding a cup of tea in her hands. Her knees were brought to her chest, and Dan noticed her toes peeking from underneath the cover. Although they were sitting quite close to each other, it seemed like she was so far away from him. His arms ached to hold her, his lips yearning for hers. But he refrained himself from moving from where he sat; what had just happened on the beach was enough for one night. They had enough time to afford taking things slowly, and he didn't feel the need to rush anything. They were forever.

'Are you sure you don't want to sleep here? I mean, the sofa is so uncomfortable,' she asked, ashamed about how much she wanted to hear him accept her offer.

He sighed. 'Serena, you know I only want to stay here with you, and hold you in my arms as you fall asleep, but I also want us to do this right. I don't want to rush anything; we don't need to. You know, forever is a really long time,' he joked, but noticed that, somehow, he was now sitting closer to her.

'I know, I know. I just...I really missed you, you know, and after everything that happened in New York, what with Juliet, and Nate waking up to the fact that he wanted to be with me again just when I realised I wanted to be with you, it was a very exhausting time for me. And tonight...when we kissed...I felt free for the first time in a long while. It felt natural, between us, and right. I don't think we would be rushing into anything, Dan, I just really need to be with you,' she confessed, her eyes watching the little ripples that formed at the surface of her tea as her hands shook.

He smiled as he heard her speak. 'Come here,' he encouraged, patting his thigh. She smiled slightly too and did as was asked of her, but her eyes were still focused away from him, or anywhere close to him. She sat on his lap, her legs hanging off one side, her hands in her lap. She looked like a child that was about to be punished after breaking their mother's favourite vase, and that upset Dan. 'First of all, look at me,' he instructed, 'I don't want you to ever feel like you can't trust me, or talk to me, or whatever reason you think you have for keeping me from seeing those beautiful eyes of yours,' he said, and she complied, melting her eyes into his. 'Good,' he whispered, and brought their foreheads together, wrapping his arms around her.

She did the same, gripping the back of his T-shirt. Slowly, he leant in, and she could feel her heart slow down, until it seemed like it stopped. Her breath halted, and she waited for the perfect moment when his lips captured hers. Her heart suddenly restarted, now beating faster than ever. She pressed one hand to his face, making sure he wouldn't stop. Slowly, she lifted one knee, bringing it between them and on the other side, resting it on the bed. Their kisses became deeper and deeper, the passion they both refrained these couple of days overflowing into their actions. His hands slid to her hips, bringing them closer to him, pressing their bodies together even more. The shirt she wore, his shirt, rose just above her hip and he used the moment to gently slip his hands underneath it, caressing the soft skin of her back and stomach. He was completely entranced by her, too busy to realise how much his 'slow' plan was ignored. He knew not to take advantage; he would have never done that, to her or to anyone. He knew when to stop, but that moment wasn't then. He kept his hands on her skin, his palms resting on her hips. Wherever they touched, it seemed as her body was alive, just as she felt more alive than she had in a long time. She allowed her hands to find the buttons of her shirt, undoing the first one, then the second, but as she struggled to slide the third one through the small hole, Dan's hands gripped hers.

'Serena, stop,' he whispered in the small space between them.

'I'm sorry,' she muttered, dropping her eyes on their interlocked hands on her lap.

'Hey, what did I say about your eyes?' She raised them, looking at him. She was hurt, and he could see it in them. 'Talk to me, S,' he encouraged, his breath still sprinting from the previous moments.

'I...I, um...I don't know. I can't really think of an excuse for what might have just happened.'

'You don't need an excuse, Serena. Trust me, if it was up to me, we wouldn't be talking right now, but I'm just afraid that we would be hustling into things. Don't you think we should wait at least a bit longer before we sleep together?'

'Well, technically, we did sleep together last night,' she joked, and smiled up at him, making sure he got it.

He smiled back. 'Serena, we both know that we're capable of much more than that,' he said, causing her to blush. Then, her smile disappeared, her eyes avoiding his again. Frustrated, Dan put his hands around Serena's face and brought it to face him. His thumbs smoothed her cheeks, rubbing repetitive lines just underneath her eyes. 'Okay, tell me what is it that you want, and I'll try my best to make it possible,' he gave up, expecting her to resume what they were doing only a few minutes before.

'I want you to hold me as I fall asleep,' she said, pressing her hand over his, holding them to her face. 'I think you're right. We would be moving too fast, and we don't need to. I was stupid and kind of overreacted tonight, and I don't want you to think that all I want from this relationship is sex. I want to be with you, Dan, and that means a lot more than sleeping together.' She smiled at him again, the contagious grin quickly catching on. He smoothed her hair, allowing the strands to run in between his fingers.

'Well, I can definitely do that,' he said, and brought their mouths together one more time, gently, tenderly.

'Wait, I just need to tell you one more thing,' she said as soon as they broke off. 'I'm not just saying this because I'm getting what I want, I say this because it's the truth that I have been hiding for the past couple of years. I hid it quite well, because I allowed myself to forget, and I'm so sorry I did, but now I don't feel that I should hide it anymore.' She took his hands in hers, and he noticed how hard they shook. He took over, holding her fingers in the palms of his hands, steadying them, offering her the understated support he knew she needed but would never ask for. He knew she was scared, how she had become even more so after what Juliet had done to her. He also knew that she had a talent in hiding it, the only one who saw through her poker face being him. Serena couldn't help but love the way he knew her; the way he would say just the right thing at the right time. The way he would make her feel safe and loved, the way he believed in her. The inexplicable way she felt around him. She remembered what he said about her eyes, and she just didn't find the right words at the time to tell him that she did trust him, she was just so ashamed. Embarrassed at how she allowed herself to ruin what could have been a great love. At her mother's wedding, all those years ago, she didn't fight. She just let him walk away, and she felt angry at herself for giving him any reason to. She didn't want to remember all the other times when she let him slip through her fingers, all the times when she forced her feelings to fade away, telling herself 'this time, it's over'. She only recently realised it never was over. Their feelings never disappeared, they were just ignored. But she wouldn't make the same mistake again. She would never again ignore what was something as good as them.

She looked in his brown eyes, green melting into brown. 'Dan Humphrey, I love you. So much, that I can't really explain or justify it. You are my first love, my only true love, and I really hope you know that.'

'Serena, if I didn't know, then I wouldn't be here right now. And I don't hesitate to think that you know, too, how insanely in love I have always been with you. If I wasn't, then I really doubt I would have felt what I did when I would see Nate's hands hold yours, Colin's lips kiss yours... The countless nights I was awake wondering if you were asleep or...not...'

'But you were with Vanessa,' she interrupted, pressing one hand to his face as soon as his eyes saddened. 'I thought you were happy.'

'So did I. But they say that you don't know what you're missing until you have it. In my case, I forgot what I had. What we had...'

It was him that looked away now, but Serena moved her head so that it remained in his line of vision. 'Well, I'm glad that you remembered,' she whispered, and kissed his cheek, before softly hiding his lips under hers.

They lay in the bed, Serena's body enfolded in his embrace. Their gazes held each other, each look speaking one thousand words. He allowed his eyes to roam over the delicate features of her beautiful face, feeling her heart beat faster when their eyes randomly met. Oh, how much he loved her; every fibre of his being shouted it. He. Loved. Her.

'You know,' Serena whispered, 'you still look at me that way.'

'What way?' he asked, confused.

'The way no one's ever looked at me before. The way only you do,' she explained resting her head on the pillow, closer to his chest. 'The way you looked at me that night, at your loft, a long while ago; the way you've looked at me ever since.'

'Well, Serena, nothing has changed in the way I see you,' he spoke, and watched her smile, tucked into his arms. He kissed the top of her head, and placed his right by hers. His eyes closed, and just before unconsciousness threatened to take over, he felt her return the favour by pressing her lips gently on the arm he kept around her.

xoxo

Repeated, insistent knocks woke her, the bright light that shone through the window causing her eyes to hurt. The knocks continued, and Serena realised they were coming from the front door. She struggled to get up, untangling her legs from Dan's, and stripping his heavy arms from her waist. She didn't even bother to look in the mirror, she just wanted the exasperating pounding to go away. She turned the key into the lock, and removed the safety chain, only to gasp loudly at the sight of the person she least desired to see on her doorstep.

'Mom,' she whispered, as the woman familiarly raised her eyebrows in disappointment.

A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope the story is still fulfilling your expectations. I really appreciate all of your kind reviews; they are what motivates me to keep writing. Thank you, and the next chapter is coming up as soon as I write it. :D xx