Chapter Five: Welcome Home

As soon as they were out of Hampstead and on the highway, it started raining. Large, heavy drops of water smashed against the smoky glass of the limo windows, the repetitive noise being painfully similar to the pounding in Serena's head. She laid her head in his lap, allowing her legs to rest on the large space of the seat beside her. She was worried; maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go back so soon. Of course she wanted to see Blair, and Eric, but she wanted to be Dan's girlfriend more, and that wasn't going to be easy on the Upper East Side. Snide comments, criticism, judgement, they would always be there, somewhere around them, like an aura, or a disease. But she wanted to be strong enough this time. She wouldn't mess everything up again, because she felt that this was her last shot at forever with him; this was the last chance they had, and if they ruined it, the break would be irreparable, regardless of their eternal feelings for each other.

She was used to it; the press, and lies, and sleaze. But Dan wasn't, and she didn't know how long he could last before it all became too much for him. That troubled her the most, and she just prayed that she would be strong enough for them both, that she would be able to fight Dan's battle as well as her own.

He moved his long fingers through her hair, the soft strands sliding easily around his knuckles. His eyes rested on her face, and he wondered why it was that he could just watch her all day. What was so captivating, so enchanting about that beautiful woman? All he knew was that he loved her, more than anything; that, he couldn't question.

'What are you thinking about?' he asked, once her face scrunched up with worry. He continued to stroke her hair with one hand, while the other wrapped tightly around one of hers. He was frustrated that she didn't talk to him about her concerns, when she knew that he knew her better than anyone in her life. He could read it in her eyes when she was hurt, or upset, or happy. And right now, all he read was insecurity.

'Nothing,' she muttered, unsure of what to say.

'Maybe someone else would believe that, but I think you're forgetting who you're talking to. We both know it's not nothing. Talk to me, Serena,' he encouraged softly, rubbing comforting circles over the skin of her hand.

She sighed. 'It's going to be hard, isn't it? Life back home? Things will change and some won't like it...or approve of it,' she murmured, bringing her gaze together with his.

'I know.'

'No, Dan, you don't. It will become unbearable, the whispers, seeing every newspaper print a headline with your name in it, the seclusion from supposed friends... It will poison you from the inside, and one day you'll just give up. You won't be able to take it anymore, and it's going to destroy me when everything will drive you away, and I'll hopelessly watch you walk out.'

He didn't argue with her; she didn't need that. She needed security, a safety net, and he was going to offer that to her until she regained the confidence that she had lost recently; confidence in herself and those who loved her. He smiled down at her, and brought her hand up with his, just to graze his lips over her fingers. Without uttering a word, he helped her sit up, keeping one hand pressed to the top of her head, just in case she hit it against the low roof of the limo. She brought her legs on either side of his, and sat there, unsure of what to say or do.

Out of the blue, Dan extended his right arm in front of her, as much as the small space between them allowed him. 'Hi, I'm Dan Humphrey,' he stated, staring in her deep emerald eyes.

Serena let out a weak laugh, and looked away, her eyes focusing on the hand he kept on her thigh. 'I know who you are, Dan,' she muttered, feeling a small smile creep up her face too.

'Do you?' he challenged, bringing her eyes back to him.

'Yeah, I do. You're Lonely Boy, right?' she joked, and he grinned wider, knowing that his distraction worked. She was smiling again, and that became so rare, that, to him, it was worth a fortune. She pressed her palms on his chest, feeling the soft fabric of the shirt he wore fold beneath her skin. 'You're Dan Humphrey, the man I'm in love with,' she whispered, on a more serious note. Her arms unintentionally found their way around his neck, while his wrapped around her waist, bringing her closer to him. 'You're the only one I can honestly say I depend on. You're the one I trust because you're the one that really knows me, and I feel like I know you, too,' she declared, and while the smile on her face never broke, faint tears brimmed the corner of her eyes.

He caressed her cheek with the tips of his fingers, catching the droplets of water when they fell. That way, her face remained perfect.

'So, then, you should know that I'm not one to care what others say about me. I didn't care the first time we were together, when people around us didn't consider me enough, when CeCe gave me the whole 'charity case' speech, and I don't care now. You should know that to me, being with you matters more than anything; that the only friends I need are those that care enough about me to know that I have to be with you to be truly happy. But, most importantly, you must know that I love you too much to let anything separate us again, be it whatever.'

She felt stupid. Again. How could she have doubted him? He hadn't given her any reason to, in fact, it had been quite the opposite with him. He supported her, trusted her, been there for her when others chose to abandon her. He could make her feel safe simply by wrapping his arm around her. Even now, the way he looked at her, his eyes spoke too many words that only her heart could understand.

'I'm sorry, I was being irrational. Of course I know all of these things. I just...'

'Serena, I don't want you to justify yourself,' he interrupted her. 'I understand,' he whispered, and rested his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, relishing in the moment, breathing in his familiar scent. She allowed her lips to mould against his again and again, while one of her hands stuck greedily to his face. Every single inch of her body seemed to be connected to his, and it seemed like the air was getting hotter around them.

They suddenly froze when insistent knocks in the divide that separated them and Lily, who sat in the front seat of the limo, interrupted them.

'That's enough, you too,' she said, her voice hear much too loud and clear. 'Just because I accept you being together doesn't mean I want to hear it. I mean that, by the way,' she continued, and lowered the window between the two halves of the car. She stared at Dan briefly in the rear-view mirror, but her meaningful glare stuck on Serena, whose back was conveniently turned towards her. 'Just remember, Serena, your room and Dan's room are on either side of my room. And I'm a very light sleeper.' She shut the window again, and Dan started laughing softly, uniting their foreheads again. But Serena didn't laugh; she just smiled, the corners of her lips curved into a beautiful smile that didn't feel alive. It hurt him to see her that way; broken.

'You know,' he said, helping her move her legs onto one side, so that they rested on the seat next to her again. She laid her head on his chest, with one of her palms flat by her face. 'I still love that little laugh of yours,' he reminded her, playing with loose strands of her hair. 'I hope I'll hear it again soon,' he muttered, lowering his hand to the nape of her neck, stroking the soft skin there. In response, she lifted her head just a little, enough to reach the spot where his jaw ended underneath his ear and press a tender kiss there. Then, she returned her head to the comfortable position on his chest and closed her eyes, trying to even recall the sound of her own laughter.

xoxoxoxoxo

When they arrived in New York, it was late at night, but the blinding lights that decorated the city made it seem like daytime. The buildings attracted the eyes of everyone that could see them, but Dan was distracted by the beautiful blond that slept in his arms. He couldn't break his gaze from her face, that only looked peaceful when she was controlled by unconsciousness. The hand she previously laid on his chest slid around him, her fingers gripping on the back of his shirt without any effort on her part.

The limo stopped, and when Lily loudly gasped 'Oh, my God', Dan knew they were at the not-so-humble van der Woodsen abode.

'Okay, Dan, you ready?' she asked but didn't give him a chance to answer. Her door opened and she stepped out into the mass of flashlights and strident repetitions of her name. He knew he had exactly two seconds to prepare for what was waiting for him, for them, out there. When the time was up, the driver opened his door, and he stepped out with a very unaware Serena cradled into his embrace.

The shouts were deafening, the lights brighter than anything he had ever experienced before. 'Serena, over here, Serena,' they shouted, and he hid her sleeping face underneath his arm, protecting her from the brutality around them. Led by the driver and Vanya, who was barking insults in a different language, Dan made his way into the building, succeeding in keeping what he loved most safe. Before he stepped into the elevator, he took the liberty of bending his head just enough to let his lips linger over her forehead.

He laid her into her bed and removed her shoes, placing them carefully by the bedside table. Gently, he slid the jeans she wore down her legs, his knuckles creating a continuous line down the soft skin he uncovered. Without thinking too much about it, he took off his own shoes and shirt, and slipped into the bed beside her, wrapping the blanket around them both, making sure every inch of her skin was hidden from the cold of the night. He propped his head on his arm, only to continue to watch her sleep. His free arm wrapped around her waist, slowly moving her closer, and she shifted unconsciously, tangling her legs with his. Her arm was bent between them, the palm of her hand resting over his heart. If she were awake, she would have felt it beat only for her.

'You really love her, don't you?' Lily's voice broke the silence from where she stood by the door. She walked over to the armchair in the room, giving him time to smile at the concept.

'Of course I do,' he whispered, never moving his eyes from his beloved.

'I don't know whether you know that I am happy for you, I really am. But you must understand why I would be concerned about this relationship. Dan, your father and I are married. You have no idea what social scandal you're getting yourselves into. It will...'

Only then did he shift his gaze towards Lily, and she saw how determined he was just by glancing into his eyes for a second.

'You have no reason to be worried. I love Serena too much to allow anything between us again. We will be strong enough this time to deal with you and Rufus, and the media and whatever else. I just want you to give us a chance this time to work through everything. I need you to believe in us.'

Lily shook her head, her mouth curved into the same beautiful smile he would see on Serena's face. 'Dan, I've always known you have a special place in Serena's heart. You take up most of it. I know she loves you, and I really wish that is enough, because I love your father, too. And that's something you're going to have to work around.'

'We will. I told her once, you and Rufus are your own thing, something that we would keep in a box, with a tight lid, which we would bury deep in a hole at the bottom of the ocean. We're going to have to get to that sometimes soon,' he said, and returned his gaze onto Serena.

Lily laughed slowly, and got up from her chair. 'I'll let you two to sleep. No funny business, Mr Humphrey,' she joked, and heard Dan chuckle under his breath.

'Hey, before you go, I just need to know,' he said, and Lily turned around to face them again. They looked so...right. Like an entity. They were Dan and Serena, and she hoped nothing would change that again. She wanted her daughter to have a chance at love and happiness. 'How did you find us?' Dan asked, capturing Lily's attention again.

'Let's just say the next time you try to run away together, don't make a 500 dollar payment to 'Hampstead Homes and Co' with my card.'

xoxoxo

She reluctantly slid out of bed when she woke up and realised she was alone. She dragged her feet on the ground, determined to find Dan and take him back to her bed, wrap his arms around her and lie there, with him whispering soft nothings in her ear, like he had done many times before.

She found him sitting at the dining table, his attention focused on something in front of him. Softly, she tip-toed behind him, placing her palms on his back. He jumped, and folded the newspaper he was reading, quickly, before she could lay her eyes on the headline.

'Hey, you're up,' Dan said and stood up, taking her hands in his.

'Yeah, and apparently so are you. And you have been for a lot longer than necessary. What do you think about breakfast in bed?' she suggested, snaking her arms around his neck.

'That sounds great, darling, but the hearing is in two hours. You have to get ready,' Lily interrupted from behind them.

'Wait, the hearing is today?' she asked, not sure whether she wanted to hear the answer to that question.

'Yes, and you're supposed to attend. I had the staff make you a very filling breakfast and set the new suit I got you on your bed. We have no time to waste,' she stated, and left the room, loudly calling Rufus' name.

Serena flopped into Dan's arms, and he only tightened his grip on her.

'I know,' he soothed, 'but it's all going to be over soon. You have to be strong for now,' he encouraged, and pressed a soft skin to her temple. 'Come, let's get some food into you.' He led her by her hand to the chair he previously occupied and sat her on his lap, smoothing her hair with his fingers, while plates of food were set in front of them.

'Try this,' he encouraged, holding a fork full of waffles close to her mouth.

She ate it, and smiled softly when their eyes joined. It had been so long since they met, and she could still feel the same thing when she looked into them; she could still see the same thing in them. Just by melting green with brown, Serena experienced true love. Acting on impulse, she pressed her palms to his cheeks, holding his head still as she leant in to kiss him. Softly, gently, tenderly. Perfectly. All of her emotions were poured into that kiss, and Dan knew that. He smiled against her lips, just letting her know he did. They broke away, allowing Dan to pepper the exposed skin of her neck and shoulder with his lips, remembering an old routine.

She sighed when he stopped, wishing he didn't have to. She took the fork in her hand and started picking at the waffle.

'So, what was it that you were reading when I came in earlier?' she casually asked, munching on some food.

He hoped she hadn't noticed, or, at least, forgot about that. She didn't need to know just yet. She could go through at least today without knowing this, and there was no reason why he couldn't keep her away from it. Except for the fact that he knew Serena, and she wouldn't make it so easy for him.

'It was nothing. Last week's New Yorker. I just wanted to see what I missed when we were away. You know, Global Warming, another recession, world war three, stuff like that.' He suddenly seemed far too tense for Serena to believe that.

'Okay, Dan, you're rambling, so that means you're hiding something,' she said, and quickly jumped off his lap, lunging for the newspaper at the opposite end of the table. Before he could even reach her, she skilfully unfolded it, only to be hit hard in the face by the massive headline on the front page.

Serena van der Woodsen keeps it in the family, it said, and a very clear picture of a distressed Dan carrying her inside the building followed it.

'Serena, you don't have to read that. You mustn't worry about more than one thing at the time, and you shouldn't have to. Right now, the trial is more important than anything some stupid paparazzo used to pay for his psychiatric therapy. Please, let it go,' he said, placing his hands on her waist.

'No, wait, they can't really tell we're dating from that picture only. I mean, you could be dropping me home from a party for all they know,' she said, her tone monotonous. It made it hard for him to understand what she was feeling at that moment.

She continued to read, hoping the rest would prove her theory. Not surprisingly, it didn't.

New York's 'it' girl Serena van der Woodsen was photographed last night outside the building of her Upper East Side residence. Preceded by her mother, Misss van der Woodsen was carried into the building into the arms of ex-boyfriend and current step-brother Daniel Humphrey. The latter seemed very concerned for the former party-girl, and only moments later, very affectionate towards the 19-year-old.

Miss van der Woodsen has recently been the victim of yet another drug-related drama that, surprisingly, has been proven to not have been her own fault. A court hearing has been set to take place today, where the fate of the person responsible for the socialite's overdose will be decided. All in all, it is just another normal day in the van der Woodsen – Bass – Humphrey household.

The article was followed by another picture of Dan, when he kissed her while she slept. Normally, she would have smiled at a photo like that, but the anger caught up with her, and she threw the newspaper on the table, failing to control her hands as they shook. Tears formed in her eyes, but she couldn't blink to allow them to fall. They were trapped there; just like she was in a world she was starting to resent. The only one that kept her somewhat sane was Dan, and she couldn't even master the calm to lean on him, appreciate his support.

'I'm sorry, Serena. It was reckless of me to kiss you then...'

'This is what I was talking about, Dan. This is just the beginning of the horrible things they will write about us. They will manipulate everything, turn anything into something worth printing. That's why I didn't want to come back, why I would have stayed there...with you...I just don't know what to do, how to protect you from something that I couldn't even protect myself from. I...' 'Serena, who are you more concerned for, me or you? You know I don't care about the tabloids, but you do, and you're worried about what you're going to read on the front page of tomorrow's news. You're scared, and I understand that. But don't let them hurt you. Don't let them achieve their lowlife goals. Walk with your head high, show them they can't touch you. Don't give them the satisfaction.'

She buried her face in his chest, hoping that if she couldn't see anything, nothing could see her. For the first time in her life, Serena wished she was irrelevant.

'I want to be strong enough, I just don't think I am...'

'You will be. Once all of the drama around you ends, tonight. And until then, I will be right here, holding your hand, fighting alongside you. But for right now, you need to take things one at a time, and next on our schedule is a date with justice,' Dan joked, swaying their bodies from side to side.

A/N: Okay, I am becoming increasingly unhappy with what I write. I mean, I have a plot sorted out, but I write so much around it, the chapters would be too long if I were to write something exciting in each. Tell me if you want less fluffy, thoughtful crap and more action, and I'll try to comply. Thanks for still reading this! x