A/N: I'm SO sorry for not posting this chapter sooner, but I was on holiday for three weeks, and the promised free Wi-Fi at the hotel was not only not free, but inexistent. So I've posted this as soon as I got home, and I can only hope you like it, even though I am not so sure I do.
Chapter Six: Mended
Dan paced back and forth in front of the largest wooden double doors he had ever seen. His hands were clasped behind him, the nerves he experienced causing his palms to sweat. Each step that he took echoed loudly around him, accentuating the loneliness and making the wait longer.
Court in session, said the sign above the door, in large red letters that seemed to mock him. It was so hard, letting her go. She looked so helpless, so scared, she needed someone to hold her hand while the interrogations took place, rub her back when she was brought face to face with Juliet, the person who caused her so much harm and misery.
He listened to the quiet, even though he didn't want to know what was happening inside. Maybe it was better for him to stay on the outside. Maybe Serena needed that refuge from the madness, someone to talk to who wasn't as much a part of it as everyone else in that room. As much as he wanted to hear the words Juliet, Sharp and guilty in one sentence, he considered the idea that maybe not hearing them would be better for Serena. And, after all, she was the one that actually mattered to him.
The doors opened, and people filtered out of the courtroom, an aura of whispers and other meaningless conversation following them. Lily appeared and stopped beside him, gripping the side of his arm with a smile on her face. Although Serena was nowhere to be seen, that lifted a great weight off his chest that he didn't even know he had. Until then, he didn't realise he was actually worried about the way the trial would turn out, as he never doubted what Serena said. He believed in her, and he was proven again that he had been right in doing so. Lily was pulled along by other women, and congratulations were shared between them.
Then she came. Although she didn't smile, her eyes shone for the first time in a long while. They looked free, relieved. The fact that it didn't translate to the rest of her face or body didn't concern Dan. He realised she just needed time to process this, understand it was finally over. She would be able to mend herself back into who she had been before, and he would be there to help her.
'Hey,' he spoke when she arrived by his side. 'I think congratulations are in order,' he continued, taking her hand into his.
'Can we go outside? I need some fresh air.' Her voice was low, but strong, and as much as he didn't want to, he needed to challenge her request.
'Are you sure that's a good idea? It's packed with paparazzi outside.'
'There's always a back door,' she said, and pulled him by the hand, hoping to find it.
Once they walked down the first two steps outside the building, Serena stopped and took a sharp intake of oxygen, as if her lungs were released from under great pressure. As if she resurfaced from underneath a deep ocean and took that very necessary breath of air to keep her alive. She didn't speak, neither did he. He just watched her look over the horizon, and she was just about able to make out the outlines of the many trees in Central Park.
Unexpectedly, she took her shoes off, and held them in one hand, gripping Dan's hand in the other. She started running, dragging him behind her. They sped down the busy New York streets, knocking into people but not stopping to apologise. He had no idea what she was thinking or doing at that moment, but it didn't matter as much as the fact that she chose to do it with him. That was enough for him to follow her to the ends of the world and back, if that was what she wanted.
Her destination became clear to him once the big gates of Central Park were getting closer and closer to them. They ran on the famous paths of the park and Dan could barely overcome his happiness when Serena stopped in front of their bench and placed her shoes on it. She turned around to face him, and when she saw the blinding smile plastered on his face, she couldn't not return it; or, at least, a smaller version of it. His arms automatically moved around her, bringing her close. She placed her hands on either side of his face, the same way she had done so many times before, so long ago. It was so easy to rediscover everything, to fall into the familiar routines, and she could only think of one reason for that – they loved each other.
'It's all over now, Dan. Things will get better around here, and I finally feel able to think about what I want to do, not what I need to.' She looked into his eyes, repeating it, only not with words. 'I want to be in a real relationship with you, I want to be yours, I want us to achieve that 'forever' we promised each other. I don't care about anything else but being with you, and I'm going to prove that. I just need you to bear with me until I do.' Her voice was soft, almost as if she was whispering.
'Serena, you don't need to prove anything to me.'
'No, I know I do. Every time we got back together, I was the one to mess it all up, and I just can't find a satisfactory way to justify or apologise to you right now, but this is a fresh start, a clean slate, and I have no intention in staining it.'
A clean slate. What a great concept.
'So, I thought since we were starting new again, this would be the best place to do it. It means a lot to both of us, it holds many incredible memories. It is special, just as our relationship is.' She saw him smile even wider, the corners of his lips being dangerously close to touching his ears. Inspired by the moment, by the inexplicable way she felt at that moment, enveloped in her love's embrace, Serena spoke the thought that she kept thinking.
'I love you, Dan. Very, very much,' she said, and lifted herself on her tiptoes so that she could press her mouth against his. In the instant that their lips met, the past was sealed with that kiss, opening doors for a new beginning.
xoxoxo
He laid on the bench, cradling Serena to his chest. Although she wore a coat, Dan wrapped her tightly with his, making sure she was warm. The sun had almost set, glimpses of stars somewhere far away being visible on the dark sky. It was oddly quiet around them, something that wasn't neither expected nor hoped in the heart of New York City. They could just enjoy being with each other, feel each other's hearts beat in unison, keep their fingers interlocked by his side, while time would simply fly by them.
She wriggled in his arms, bringing her face closer to his, their gazes locking as their eyes met. She touched her lips to his jaw, once, twice, feeling his free hand roam over her back.
'It's getting late. I think we should go home and, you know, maybe celebrate. I was thinking Scrabble; my vocabulary has seriously improved during the past few days. I am positive I could kick your butt.' He returned her smile, and helped her sit up, lifting his body with hers. Without speaking, he picked up her shoes, easing each of her feet tenderly into them. When he was done, he helped her to her feet, and smoothed the hair out of her face, just so he could ponder over her angelic features a bit more.
'Serena, I would love to take you home right now and prove that little theory of yours wrong, but I think there is something that you must do before that.'
'Hey, thank you for bringing me here,' she said, allowing her fingers to caress the skin of the hand she was so tightly gripping. 'I really wanted and needed to do this, I just didn't have the strength, or the energy.'
'I know. Everyone needs their best friend,' Dan said, as the doors of the elevator closed, and they started climbing to the penthouse.
When the doors opened again, the familiar sight of the Waldorf hallway filled Serena's heart with anticipation. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, what she was supposed to do. She knew she would have wanted an apology from Blair, but having her best friend back was more important. She was willing to forgive and forget, just so she could have the girl she had always considered her sister wrapped in her embrace. As they turned the corner, Dan and Serena noticed the room was empty. No one occupied the luxurious canapés, no macaroons were consumed on the dining room table, the TV didn't show the well known ending to 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. Blair hadn't been there, and that worried Serena. It was late enough at night to know that, unless she was lying against Chuck's chest, which suddenly seemed possible, Blair could have only been at home, getting ready for her beauty sleep.
Serena's thoughts were disrupted by a relievingly familiar voice, echoing down the stairs.
'Dorota, I thought I made myself clear when I said I didn't want to see anyone,' Blair shouted, clearly annoyed. When she glanced over the balustrade, to see who dared to go against her wishes, she heard herself gasp at the sight of her best friend, waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.
'Serena,' she whispered, gripping the banister as her legs froze in shock. A sudden impulse, fuelled by the relief she couldn't stop feeling, she sprinted down the remaining steps, wrapping her arms tighter than she thought possible around the person she had worried so much about. When Serena reciprocated the embrace, Blair allowed her frustrations to flow out of her in a wave of uncontrollable sobs.
'Shh, Blair,' Serena soothed, fighting back tears of her own. 'I'm here, and I missed you so much.'
'How could you leave me? I thought I would lose you that night, and then you suddenly disappeared! I was so scared, Serena. Last time that happened, I didn't hear from you in a year. I can't even try to imagine having to live without you once more...' Blair spoke, her voice surprisingly loud through the thick barrier that was Serena's shoulder.
'I'm so sorry, B.'
'Sorry is not enough for me. You have to promise me you will never do this to me again. Please,' she begged, her pleas mumbled into Serena's coat.
'Blair, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed to leave, escape, only for a few days. I needed to get away from everything that was just impossible to deal with. But now everything is sorted, and I can have a fresh start. A clean slate.'
Blair pushed away from Serena, looking like she liked what she was hearing.
'Wait, so you were coming back? You didn't leave for good? I thought...' She wasn't sure what she thought. She couldn't think clearly when the only thing that haunted her mind was that Serena, her best friend, whom she almost lost, disappeared.
'Of course not. I couldn't do that. I just needed a break, and Dan offered me a way out. I needed to recharge my batteries.'
Blair let out a laugh that was weakened by the fragile state she felt she was in. Even so, Dan considered it her meanest laugh yet.
'And you decided to have this clean slate of yours with him?' she asked in mocked horror, pointing the tip of her slightly red nose towards Dan. He chuckled softly underneath his breath, glad to see things finally begin to return to the relative normal they were.
'He chose me too,' Serena said, and stole a glimpse towards Dan, capturing his eyes with hers for the briefest of seconds.
'Ugh, please, cut the lovey-dovey crap, at least in my house,' Blair moaned. 'I can't believe you two are back together again,' she muttered under her breath, quietly enough to pretend it was just for her ears, but loudly enough for Serena to hear her.
'Ok, B,' Serena said, acting as if she hadn't heard the last bit. She decided to change the topic of that conversation. 'I have so much to tell you. I'm sure you'll love to hear all about the trial today.'
'About how that lying, social climbing bitch got exactly what she deserved? I'm all ears,' she replied, and the two girls laughed together, while Serena wiped the tears off her best friend's cheeks.
xoxoxo
'Thank you very much for today. It was a very weird day for me. I couldn't have done it without you,' Serena whispered, as Dan slipped into her bed, beside her. He held her to his chest, and she wrapped her arms around his waist instinctively, playing aimlessly with the hem of the T-shirt he wore.
'I knew you and Blair would make up at some point, I just speeded up the process. You needed your best friend,' he spoke, sliding the tip of his nose along her temple.
'Just for the record, you are my best friend, too. It just so happens you are also my boyfriend now. And my step-brother, but I don't care about that. It doesn't make us who we are. Our parents might be defined by their relationship, but we're not. I want people to know me as Dan's girlfriend, not his sister.'
'Well, you're doing a great job, because I know it, and you know it, and Blair, Lily, Rufus, Eric, a lot of people know it,' he said, in between soft kisses on her cheek, her jaw, the tip of her nose.
She smiled. 'You know, as my best friend, you get to hear all about my problems, and have to share some of your wisdom with me, to help me deal with them. But as my boyfriend, there are a lot more things that we can do together.'
'Really?' he replied, challenging her. 'Explain that, please.'
She pressed her lips against his, hard, and moved so that she was now on top of him, showing him one of those things. His hands gripped greedily around her waist, claiming what was finally his. He lifted their bodies together, allowing Serena to hook her legs around him as he sat in the middle of the bed. They didn't interrupt their kiss, not breaking the passion and need they shared, as their lips moved together in ways they never had. Even though their feelings hadn't changed since the first time they kissed, some things were new and exciting between them. New routines were to be made, the old ones becoming wonderful memories.
Her hands moved to her shoulder, sliding the strap of the dress she wore off it. Dan stilled his lips and brought their foreheads together, keeping the sides of their noses touching, when he realised what she was doing. When their eyes met, he saw she was confused at first, but then she let her insecurities take over, as she looked away from him. She had been so happy earlier, he almost forgot that she was hurt, and that the damage was still weakening her.
'Are we really gonna do this?' he asked, as he did many years ago, when they made love for the first time. When everything was so new, so unexpected, just as it was now, when they were rekindling their lost love.
She smiled again, remembering instances of that perfect night. How excited, how safe, how happy she felt. How easy it was, which made now seem so complicated. She couldn't help but blame herself for it; if she hadn't hid her past with Georgina away from Dan, then they would have never broken up, and if they hadn't broken up, then their parents wouldn't be married at that moment.
But what was done was done, and she was a firm believer of second, or fourth, chances. She was just glad that she even had the opportunity at one.
Serena skimmed her hands down his chest, her fingers gripping the bottom of his T-shirt.
'Yeah,' she whispered, and gently lifted the top, revealing the strong planes of his stomach. Her eyes never left his, making the moment that bit more intimate. The way they looked at each other, it was something inexplicable about it. She threw the top by the bed, placing her newly freed hands on the skin of his back, bringing his body closer to her. She hid her head in the crook of his neck, and it didn't surprise her when the two still fit. Like they were made together.
His palms covered her knees, the tips of his fingers wrapping around her thighs. He remembered how much he adored the perfect fullness of them, how they were so different to the skinny legs of the majority of the girls around him. How she was so different; how there was no one like her. He moved his hands higher, continuing in a soft path over her hips. The bottom of her dress raised as his hands moved further up, and soon enough, a small pool of lace and silk was created beside his top. He took a second to admire the lingerie and the perfect body that wore it. He realised he had used that word, 'perfect', many times when thinking about her.
Serena smiled shyly, when she noticed the way he stared at her. The way no one else ever did. She pressed one hand flat over his cheek, her fingers playing aimlessly with the end of his ear.
'Stop looking at me that way,' she whispered, closing her eyes.
'What way?' he asked, unaware of having seen her any differently than he had always had.
'You know what way. The way that makes me feel special, and perfect. The way I'm not sure I deserve.'
He didn't let her know the frustration and slight anger he felt hearing her say that. He ended that, to him, irrelevant conversation effectively.
'Serena, stop talking, and come here.'
As soon as their lips met once again, there were no more words spoken.
xoxoxo
She barely dared to open her eyes once the brightness outside her eyelids became too strong. She blinked a few times, trying to accommodate them to what she had hoped would be the sight of a peaceful looking, asleep Dan. But, instead, she saw an empty half of a bed. She flung her legs off the edge of the mattress, her toes touching the cold floor and giving her the jolt she needed to jump out of the comfortable fort underneath the bed sheets. Feeling the need to cover her body before she exited the room, she remembered every second of the night before. Every touch, every kiss, every inch of his skin covering hers, the sweet nothings he whispered to her afterwards, as he cradled her in his arms. She couldn't help but laugh softly to herself as she buttoned the last of one of his shirts.
'This is the first real laugh I've heard from you in quite some time.' His voice startled her, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, her back pressed tightly against his chest. 'You still laugh like a four year old. I'm glad.'
'Well, if you knew why I was laughing, you would probably laugh too. And the age four is highly inappropriate for my topic of choice.'
'Let's talk about it,' he suggested, walking gently towards the side of the bed, taking Serena with him.
'How about we talk about your new, irritating custom, of leaving our bedroom before I wake up. I don't particularly like it,' she said, and she turned to face him.
'Firstly, Serena, this is not our bedroom, it's yours. I have mine just down the hall,' he explained as he tucked a rebellious strand of her hair behind her ear.
'Yeah, I think after last night's christening, it could never just be mine again.' She giggled, and hid her head in his chest, slightly embarrassed of what she said.
He laughed too at their little inside joke, and bent slightly so that he could kiss the top of her head.
'Secondly,' he continued, and she lifted her eyes to look at him. 'I had a very good reason to bolt this morning. I had to speak to Lily before she left this morning.'
She pushed away a little, only so that she could make him see her amused face. 'Dan, I know that my mom might like you, and that you might have a slightly special relationship, but since when do you have heart–to–hearts?'
'Since I had to ask her if I could steal her daughter, and take her on a romantic getaway to our small, but fully equipped apartment in Hampstead. Of course, the idea was presented to her as 'taking you out of the city for a week, and, hey, we know a place that we could rent, so can we go'.'
'What?' she asked, the sarcasm in her voice gone.
'You know how, when Lily came to take you back to New York, she said that we could go on another vacation once everything was settled. Well, if I were you, I would start packing, because the car will be here at five.'
'Really?' she asked, locking her arms around his neck, and placing her palms on each of her elbows, something she didn't even realise she did.
'Yeah, I kind of thought you roughed it enough on the bus, during our fugitive days.'
They laughed together, and Serena brought their heads closer, uniting their mouths slowly.
'Thank you,' she whispered against his lips.
xoxoxo
Her phone vibrated on the table, and she was happy to leave the stubborn suitcase waiting while she read the text.
'I'm guessing you need help with your stuff,' Dan spoke as he walked down the hall from his room to hers. 'I figured that out once you stopped shouting at it and started begging.'
'I'm fine, thanks, I only stopped to read this text from Blair; I texted her earlier to tell her what we were doing so that she wouldn't worry, or hear it from someone else. You know how she gets.'
'It's always nice to hear from Blair,' he said sarcastically, and walked over to Serena to peck her cheek. The gesture was so simple, and yet it meant so much. She cherished every form of contact she had with him, be it even the slightest of brushes of their hands, as they both reached for the same thing on the table.
'She says that you better stay at a hotel that's at least half a mile away from mine. She also suggests that you get a cold while we're there, so that we come home early.'
'As I said, it's always nice to hear from Blair,' he repeated, and walked towards the thing that looked like a wardrobe on wheels.
Once Serena finished her reply, she saw Dan sit on her suitcase, arms crossed over his chest.
'Aww, thank you.' She threw her phone on the bed and walked towards him. He extended his arms in front of her, and she took his hands within her own, their fingers knitted together.
'Come here,' he instructed, and she knew what he meant. She sat on his lap and leaned against his chest, her head hidden under his chin. Was there any way to describe how happy she felt at that moment? Was there any way to explain how she could be so upset and damaged one day, and then suddenly find a level of happiness and love to change her so drastically? Her life had mostly been about extremes. She went from a very troubled teenager to someone she could be proud of in a short period of time, and she had tried so hard to show everyone that. This massive change had been a large, challenging part of her adolescent life, and she suddenly realised that she would have never done it if she didn't have the right person beside her. It was Dan that helped her turn her life around, just as he helped her get through the difficulty and hurt of the past weeks. He had been there and that had given her the strength to change. He believed in her, and that had given her reason to.
'Serena, darling, are you ready to go?' Lily's voice penetrated the quiet from the living room.
'Time to go,' she said, and jumped off Dan's lap, pulling him up with her.
'Serena, you do realise I said one week, not one year,' he joked, as he put all the energy he had into moving something that seemed immovable.
She just laughed as they made their way into the front room. Lily kissed Dan's cheek, muttering something like 'take care of her' when she pulled away.
'Always,' he replied, and Lily looked pleased with the answer.
Then, she wrapped her arms around her daughter, cradling her to her chest. She wasn't the easiest person to talk to, and Serena knew that better than anyone, but she knew how to show her affections well, and neither one of her children could say otherwise.
'Have fun, sweetheart. You deserve to,' she said, and kissed her daughter's cheeks as they pulled away. 'But not too much fun. Can I just say, I know that I'm a bit too late when it comes to you and Dan, and what you two do together, but there are many other things that you could do to pass the time. Dan is a genius at Scrabble; you could try and beat him. Or you could take walks, watch TV, even read.' When she saw Serena's embarrassed and not exactly confused look, Lily knew she had to continue. 'I mean, I would really appreciate it if the next time I wake up in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water, I'm not forced to hide my head underneath the pillows, thirsty, due to noises coming from one of your bedrooms.' Her eyebrows raised and her glance moved from Serena to Dan. He looked down; it seemed his idea of a little 'inside joke' wasn't little, inside or a joke anymore. He wanted to laugh, but controlled himself, even though the situation seemed oddly amusing to him.
'Serena, I'm gonna help take the luggage downstairs,' he muttered and sprinted for the elevator.
Once they were alone, Serena noticed Lily's smile and she returned it.
'Mom, you scared him off!'
'Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?'
They laughed together, and Serena hugged her mother one last time. 'I'll miss you, Mom,' she spoke in her shoulder, and then they separated.
'Oh, hello, Vanya. Is everything ready outside?' Lily suddenly said, while her daughter grabbed her coat.
'Yes, Mrs Humphrey, but I am here to speak with Miss Serena before she leaves. There is someone waiting for her downstairs.'
A/N: Okay, well, this is it for now. A new chapter will be posted as soon as I write it. Please review, I would love some feedback on this. Thank you! xx