Chapter Twelve – Welcome to Your New Life

3 WEEKS LATER

People find moving house hard. The multitude of labelled boxes, the packing and unpacking can become too much. But on the Upper East Side, even a change of address becomes an important event on the social calendar. Under her mother's strict orders, Serena hosted her first 'housewarming' party at their new apartment. The night ended up being a success; the guests, most of which were friends of her mother's, complimented her on her impeccable taste and talent when it came to interior design, or her exquisite taste in artists and painters.

The overwhelming amounts of conversation left little room for Serena to even talk to Dan. She managed to steal a few glimpses of him across the room, but only after the party did she get the chance to thank him properly for being so understanding and accepting of the elite rituals.

He surprised her one day. He bought her a puppy, a tiny golden Labrador, and the look on her face when she held it for the first time let him know he was doing something right.

'Dan, meet Sandy, the newest member of our family,' she spoke, as she cradled the lively bundle of blond fur in her arms.

And he couldn't help but smile broadly at the fact that they were, indeed, a family in the way that he only dreamt about a few years ago.

Later, he held her in his arms as they lay on their bed, her head resting on his left shoulder, their legs knotted together. They way they lay countless times before.

'You know,' she said, allowing her fingers to touch the bottom of his right ear, 'I have a lot of making up to do.'

He laughed, and kissed the side of her forehead. 'And why is that?' he teased.

'You've done so much for me, and you know I'm not just referring to the penthouse and the puppy. Without you, I would still be at the Ostroff right now. Actually, without you, I think I would be at a boarding school in China. You were exactly what I needed to become someone worthy of a better life for myself, and thank you for always being here, and making sure I remained that person, even if I did slip up a few times. It couldn't have been easy for you.'

'You're wrong. It was easy, because I wanted to be there for you. Serena, I've loved you for a really long time, and I need you to know I would've loved you equally even if you hadn't managed to overcome your issues. But the only reason I wanted to help you change who you were when we met was because I knew that, underneath what you showed on the outside, existed a better Serena, and she was so beautiful, it would have been selfish of me to keep her to myself.'

She smiled, and dropped her hand to his chest. 'I'm glad you saw her when no-one else did. Not even me.'

'I didn't see it from the beginning. Do you know what made me finally understand there was more to the reckless, blonde beauty than she allowed people to see? The fact that the way I looked at you that night at the loft, the way that you said nobody's ever looked at you before, scared you. The renowned party girl that you were wouldn't have let herself to seem weak by showing fear. But to me, you were stronger than ever by permitting me to see who you really were.'

'You won my trust that night. You stopped when I hesitated, and didn't hate me for it. No man I had met before ever did that.'

'Come here,' he said, just as he did then, and locked his arms around her waist, keeping her as close to him as humanely possible. He placed his head against hers and closed his eyes, the smell of her shampoo reminding him of mornings they wasted in bed what seemed like eons ago.

He felt her breathing slow down, and once he established she was asleep, he allowed himself to close his eyes and succumb to the tiredness.

xoxo

Soon after the New Year came her birthday, but today, she didn't feel like getting out of bed, or preparing for the festive brunch Blair and her mother prepared for her every year. And the fact that Dan wasn't lying next to her made her decide to close her eyes for ten more minutes.

Two hours later, she left her apartment and walked to Blair's, reluctant for the celebrations to begin.

'Happy Birthday, S,' the brunette shouted, as soon as she stepped on the polished marble.

'Thank you, B.' She mustered a smile. 'Where is everyone?' she asked when she noticed the empty apartment.

'This year, we're having Macaroons and Audrey. Just the two of us.' Blair grinned, taking Serena's hand in hers. The lack of a similar response made her realise something was not right about her best friend. 'But forget that, I know something's wrong with you. Let me guess, trouble in paradise?' Blair asked, leading Serena to her lavish bedroom.

'No, things between Dan and I are going perfectly, actually. Although I haven't seen him yet today.'

'How awful,' she muttered, opening a green box. 'Macaroon?'

'No, thanks, I actually feel a bit nauseous. I barely got out of bed this morning. All I want to do is sleep.'

'Sounds like it's that time of the month again,' Blair said suggestively.

'It's not, although it should be. Maybe this urge of hiding underneath the bed covers does have something to do with me being late,' she pondered, and stretched her arm out to reach for the green box.

When she lifted her eyes up again, Blair's face looked like she had either seen a ghost or her favourite pair of Louboutins sold out before she had a chance to buy them. For the thirty seconds she stared at her, Blair didn't blink, so Serena touched her hand, suddenly worried.

'What's wrong, Blair?'

'How late is 'late'?' was the only thing she asked, and Serena knew her best friend well enough to know that answering that question was, somehow, important.

'I don't know... A few days, maybe even a week. Why?'

'And I wouldn't normally ask this, because I know the answer will scar me for life, but when was the last time you...took care...of Humphrey.'

At first, Serena had no idea what 'taking care' meant, but the repulsed look on Blair's face hinted to what it could have related to.

'Oh, it can't be that hard to remember! You're Barbie and Lonely Boy, and you've just moved in together. I'm sure you've christened the bed at least once.'

'I know what you're getting at, Blair, and forget it. That's not possible.'

'Serena, I wouldn't put myself through the physical pain of considering the concept that in about nine months, there might be a little Humphrey wasting our oxygen and ruining your unfairly perfect gene pool, if I didn't consider there was the slightest possibility of it being true. Think about it. The dates fit. It might happen.'

'Would you stop saying that so loudly?'

'Fine. I'll shut up if you take one of the pregnancy tests left over from Dorota. It's not used, by the way.'

'No, Blair. Look, you know I love our girly chats, but, first of all, you're getting overly excited about something that is not true. I am not pregnant! I know this, because careful is an underestimation of what we were. Second of all, I don't believe in those tests, so I wouldn't take one anyways. Now, you were saying something about Audrey...'

'Actually, I just realised there is a meeting I must attend. I promise I'll see you later, okay?'

Serena sighed. 'Okay. Love you, B,' she said, and wrapped her arms around the brunette.

'I don't have to tell you how much I love you, right?' the brunette asked, and broke away.

As soon as Serena left her room, Blair grabbed her phone from the bedside table.

xoxo

She walked down the streets, hoping to clear her head, but instead, a strange feeling that she was being followed overwhelmed her. She entered the gates to the park; maybe going to their bench would calm her. Maybe she would even see him there. He would have known what to do or say to make everything better. She sat on the edge of the cold wooden seat, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her coat to protect them from the harsh temperatures outside.

The park was so beautiful. The snow had taken a peaceful toll on the otherwise busy touristic attraction. That's why she had come here, right? For the closure she was hoping to find.

'It might happen.' Blair's words ran through her head loudly, as if she was shouting them in her ear.

Her head fought back. 'Stop it, that's ridiculous', she thought to herself, but not even she believed that. Now that she was alone, she contemplated differently about things. Could Blair be right? She couldn't have been. But what if she was?

She wasn't ready. They weren't ready. They only just fixed things between them. They were young, in school. He wanted to be a writer, not a father. But then she remembered how good he had been with Milo. The love and care and devotion he showed that little boy, even after he found out he wasn't his. The unconditional support he offered a baby that appeared into his life without any planning or notice proved to everyone what great things he was capable of. And she would learn. She could learn to be better, to be capable of the same things. She knew she wanted to be.

Blair was right. She had to find out the truth.

xoxo

Her leg shook. It bounced up and down, and it didn't seem to stop. Her hands were clasped together, and the anxiousness of the wait made her palms sweat. She stared at her fingers; the way they interlocked with each other was like a puzzle that she had to solve. But her mind couldn't wrap around anything else except the fact that she was in the waiting room of the Gynaecology Department of one of the most expensive hospitals in New York. And she was alone.

There were other couples there. Some nervous like her, some extremely happy. Would Dan and her be as happy? She remembered him saying to her once 'no matter what you decide, I want you to know that I'm here for you, because I...I love you'. Did that still apply? She hoped so.

She couldn't sit anymore. She started walking, her pace quicker than normal, as she felt the other people's eyes on her. She didn't care. She needed something to do. She hated waiting. She walked up along a long corridor, her mind barely focussing on the fact there was a red line through the middle of the wall that continued until her eyes couldn't see anymore. Then she walked back down, the tips of her fingers touching the red paint. When she turned around to start the circuit again, her legs were stilled at the sight of a much too familiar face at the end of the corridor.

She didn't understand what he was doing here, but she didn't give herself enough time to wonder. As soon as he started walking towards her, she moved again, and they met at the middle, her arms around him and his hands in her hair. He rocked her from side to side, her trembling hands letting him know she was scared.

'You shouldn't be here alone. You should have called me. You know I would have been here for you.'

'I know, I was just...'

'Scared, I know. And that's okay. I am too. But we're here now, and no matter what you decide, I want you to know that I'm here for you, because...'

'You love me. I know,' she whispered, and pressed her lips against his. Then she hid her head in his chest again, allowing him to calm her.

'Miss van der Woodsen? We're ready for you.'

A/N: I have to apologise yet again for such a late update, but my family and I moved house, and we could only reinstall our internet yesterday, due to the Christmas/New Year mayhem. I wrote this chapter a few weeks ago, yet only just managed to post it. Thank you for your patience.

Also, I would like your opinion on whether you would like Dan and Serena to have a child now or not, as I am really stuck as to what to do. There are so many FanFics where you do get to see them as parents, and I'm not sure if you would want another one that gives you the same thing. So review and tell me what you think.

Thanks xx