Chapter Rating: T

[Content may not be suitable for children. contains minor swearing. I'm not your mother, read at your own discretion.]

CHAPTER 5

Fragile

The house was unusually quiet for the time of morning. Aside from himself and Kagome, he couldn't detect a single other person on the shrine grounds, then again, his senses were entirely shot from the influence of his demon blood; even the fluffy modern bed beneath him felt like a million needles prickling his skin. He'd had holes punched through his chest that hurt less than the throbbing in his head right now. Just a few minutes under the full power of his daiyoukai heritage, the few times it had happened, had put his hanyo body under immense strain; spending several hours, nearly a solid day, with that deadly power flowing through him had almost pushed his body beyond its limit. Despite the ache in every fiber of his body he felt relieved to find Kagome sleeping safe and sound in his arms and grateful for his currently dampened sense of smell, knowing too well what having her intoxicating scent all over him like this could do right now. He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't actually remember the moments between asking Kagome to be his mate and waking up with her sleeping peacefully against his chest.

'Stupid woman.' She had no idea just how much danger she had been in for those few moments. He couldn't bring himself to think of what might have happened if that darker half of himself hadn't been satisfied with simply marking her. No, there was no question to be had of what might have happened in the moments his restraint lapsed once again, he knew exactly; fully aware of his own desires and the fragile control he had over them less than a full day before. Why it didn't happen was something else altogether.

Inuyasha groaned, rubbing his temples in a futile effort to soothe the feeling of his skull being cracked open like an egg. An involuntary and violent growl escaped him as he caught the smell of blood on his claws; a sick feeling crept into his stomach worse than when he'd lost control and slaughtered those human bandits. Hidden under the foul stink of the wolf's disgusting blood was the faintest sweetness of Kagome's blood. He hated it. He hated that he'd hurt her. He hated that he couldn't remember doing it. Mostly, he hated knowing that if not for her blood on his claws he might not have regained control of himself.

When the red haze had receded from his mind he'd found himself alone in the abandoned camp, everything left as it had been that morning. The tiniest flecks of red at the tips of his claws drew his attention, the sweet aroma pulling a pained howl from his chest. It was his nature to protect, there was no force or need greater for his kind; nothing could be more important than ensuring his would-be mate was safe, yet there he was; face first in an all too familiar indent with her blood on his claws. His stomach twisted in knots. His only solace being it couldn't have been more than a small scratch; still, It was vile. Unforgivable. She was human; delicate and fragile, especially when compared to him and even a light scratch untreated could have cost her a limb. Above all he was supposed to be the one protecting her.

The sleeping girl in his arms, his mate to be, began to twist and stretch in his arms; awakened by his feral growls. "Inuyasha?" Her voice cracked slightly with disuse from sleep. "Is something-" She stopped mid sentence, bolting upright and glancing around the dawn lit room. Her eyes widened and she began to chew her lower lip as some realization of the previous day's events washed over her. Kagome shook herself and gave a hard smile that left him concerned, and now more unsure than ever about what to do.

"What is it?" He finally bit out; swallowing hard against the choking worry that she'd changed her mind. She shook her head, trying to sort her jumbled thoughts. He reached for her; feeling a level of distress rising from her somehow ten times greater than when he'd found her in Kouga's den yesterday. He expected his presence to offer some level of comfort; to remind her that so long as he lived, he would do everything within his power to make her feel secure. She pulled away instantly and leapt from the bed, looking at him with something he identified as horror before bolting from the room. Rejection struck him like lightning, cutting him deeper than any blade could manage.

After what felt like hours he'd regained enough strength to move from her bed. His senses hadn't recovered and her scent was too faint for him to track in that state but she had not gone far. The hiss of running water covering quiet cries drew him to the door of a room he'd learned not to enter if he didn't want to hear the words 'sit boy' at least twenty times. He hesitated for only a moment; steeling himself for the inevitable punishment he'd receive. He braced his body, ears flat against his head as he swung the door open. Nothing.

Kagome was sitting against a wall in a small tub, hugging her knees to her chest and sobbing against them. She'd scrubbed her skin til it was pink and raw with a rough loofah yet the disgusting feeling hadn't gone away. The once scalding hot shower had turned ice cold but it hid some of her tears, or so she thought. "Kagome?" Rarely had he ever spoken her name so tentatively. She shook her head, hugging herself tighter. Something in her mind wanted to say she wasn't Kagome, rather she didn't feel like Kagome right now.

Inuyasha was at a loss. To him, she had always been such a strong, fiery thing; he'd never seen her look so fragile. "I'm sorry." She said, turning so her bare back was to him. "I'm sorry." She whispered again almost too quiet for his own ears.

"You -" He stopped himself. Idiot. He'd been about to call her an idiot but he thought better of it. On a normal day it would be fine, it would spark a playful back and forth of small empty insults that would calm the tension between them. "I -" He what? He didn't know. The woman he loved was broken, crying, trembling under a spray of icy water and he was just standing there. There was no danger, no demons, nothing to fight, nothing to protect her from. "Kagome, tell me what you need me to do." He said finally. "I can take you back and track down Sango and Miroku for you." They were better at these things than him. "Find your family for you." She always returned to him less angry when she spent a few days visiting. "If it's what you want, I'll leav-"

"No!" Her head shot up to look at him. "No, no, please stay." She pleaded. "Please." The little pocket of warmth she'd been holding to her core broke as she turned to him. Her jaw trembled as she fought to stop her teeth from chattering.

"For fuck sake, Kagome!" Without thought and in one swift move he'd grabbed a fluffy towel from a nearby shelf and pulled her from the cold modern waterfall. "You're freezing." He growled wrapping the towel snuggly around her shoulders, followed by another, and another, and still another.

"Inuyasha stop." He looked from her to the last of the towels on the shelf. She wrestled one arm free of the towel cocoon to rub tears from her eyes with a shaking hand. " I'm sorry." She said again, this time a weak smile touched her lips as she looked into the eyes of the concerned hanyou.

"Damnit, would you stop saying sorry? You didn't do anything wrong." He pulled her trembling hand from her face, careful to not grab her still bruised wrist, and tucked it back into the warmth of the towels before wrapping the last one around her for good measure and pulling her squarely against his chest and holding her tightly.

"I just mean I'm sorry I made you worry. I remembered…it just all hit me at once. I was overwhelmed."

With a surprising gentleness he raked his claws through her wet hair, freeing it of most of the larger tangles. "I should have been able to protect you better." He murmured. She nuzzled at his chest knowing they both shared terrible memories of the day before in their own ways and just as there was nothing he could say that would heal her pain she knew there was nothing she could say to change the guilt he felt. "It will never happen again." He said firmly, tracing his mark upon her with a single clawed finger.

His touch jolted through her like electricity and she squirmed from his grasp to look in the mirror over the bathroom sink at the place where he'd sunk his teeth into her. Cautiously, quietly, he watched her study the place he'd marked her. "What's wrong?" He asked, seeing a small frown form.

"I thought …" She looked at him then back to the mirror. "I remember …" She traced her finger over the same place he did, her frown deepening.

"Changed your mind?" He asked, almost channeling the cold aloofness of his older brother into his tone. He braced himself for her answer.

A/N: Hi, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this small update. Let me know what you think, I love to hear from you.

Also, I know it's been a long time, something had changed in my life a few months ago leaving me wondering what the hell the point is for anything. Recently, I haven been reminded that it's to celebrate the moments we have had even those now tinged with loss and longing and to find our own purpose in the moments we have remaining.

It's that fact that has inspired me to give new life to the memories I hold dear in my heart of the man that had shown me true love, freedom, and security. For now it will be my purpose to share our story, to weave it in bits and pieces through the fabric of fiction.