Chapter 12 – A life without morals

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A/n I know it's very very late, but I decided to merge two chapters into one, because I couldn't decide where to end the first half, so if you look at it that way I'm still on time. (Note – this also means it should take you twice as long to read)

Dorm life isn't everything it cracked up to be, although that might be because I keep spying on the other residences, sure I like Anna and Nonoko but I can't trust them, I wonder if I could be their friends once this is all over, if this is ever over, if I survive… no happy thoughts happy thoughts!

Oh I know a happy though, I got in Luna's little click… actually on further judgement, that's what I'm most miserable about, I'm not a fan of skipping classes, and her bossy attitude mixed with that squeaky girly tone of voice really tick me off, but she is stupid, and stupid people slip up, in her case that's more often than not its funny really to think the next head of the Koizumi's is a petty girl with the IQ of a small infant… hell she even looks like an infant most of the time, since she wears makeup that's so thick she looks like she is trying to play dress up.

But as an informant she is pretty useful, even if she doesn't know it, after being around Reo so long I thought that getting information's from any Koizumi agent, would be the equivalent of getting blood from a stone - you would have to bash the agent over the head with said stone until they bleed. – but like I said Luna's an idiot and instead of working to get what she wants the first words that come out of her mouth when someone says no are "You will do what I want or I will get my mafia family to come after you" like I said total moron! Although her reliance on her family are what made it possible for me to slip into her little click so easily.

Flashback

I have been in this class 3 days, Nonoko and Anna completely trust me, and some of the boys have start to approach Koko, I think they started to accept him just after our first P.E lesson. After all a silly game of soccer is nothing to him, I don't even think he smiled. Which lead to the creation of his very own fan club, which I have to admit is gross on all kinds of levels. But like I was saying 3 days have passed and Luna finally decided to grace us with her presents. She slammed the door open as she entered the classroom, a girl with green tightly curled hair not far behind her.

"I heard there was a new guy who is not only hot but good at sport and is smart too." Luna swayed her hips while walking in and talking to no one in particular no doubt she was talking about Koko, I glanced next to me, to find him sleeping on the desk, we had, had a rough night, I needed him to install cameras in the staff room and boy's dorms, so naturally we didn't get to sleep until way past 4 in the morning, I'm used to it its part of basic training you receive when your still an infant… However Koko not so much. But that girl has quick eyes and noticed me.

"You, I want that seat. So find another!" she ordered as she swayed over to me, seriously how old does she think she is, plus Koko is not even paying attention…

"I'm sorry, but I… I… I can't" I managed to mumble out, hopefully staying in character, after all I don't want to rely on Koko again, he must be so tired, to let his guard down.

"What did you just say? Listen little girl I don't know who you are, but don't get in my way, I am the heir to a well-known Yakuza, and unless you want me to kill your entire family I would move." Quick eyes dull brain what is wrong with this girl, rule number 1: hide your identity from the Katagi (Civilians) – the reason behind this is simple you either get thrown in jail, or you are murdered.

"But, I can't move or when he wakes up he will be really angry" I fill like a dodgy manga character my brain thinks one thing while my mouth says another. A crease formed on her forehead.

"Who do you think you are brat, didn't you hear what I said! SO MOVE IT!" she dragged me from my chair, damn I hate pretending to be weak. It's so horribly frustrating, as she began to sit, I began to cry, false tears but they were enough, the quite sobbing stirred Koko as I knew it would, he must have been on the edge of sleep since all the commotion started. So I continued to cry and Luna did the worse thing she could possible do in that situation.

"Arh you're such a baby, crying because I pushed you and took your seat." She laughed to herself.

"So it was you that caused Ichigo's tears." I heard Koko's voice and it had a dangerous edge to it. "Who the hell are you, and what makes you think you can sit next to me" he continued, Luna was shocked for half a second before she turned on what I think was meant to be a sexy and alluring voice.

"Oh don't be like that baby, I'm Luna and I'm going to be your new girlfriend so forget about that one" she pointed towards me. Bad move!

"Your disgusting, who would wanna go near you, just go die alone, AND NEVER touch ichigo again, or you will regret it." he jumped over the table and towards me. "Hey its ok don't cry, I won't let them touch you!" he patted my head and lifted me off the floor.

"I'm sorry I woke you nii-san, I know you're tired" I dried my eyes and let out a slight hiccup. He started leading me back to our seat but Luna was stubbornly refusing to move.

"Hey, I don't normally hit girls but if you keep sitting in her seat I will make an acceptation" she moved but before she sat in her own seat she turned and said.

"By denying me, it just makes me want you more." And then she winked, puke!

"I'll rather die witch." Was Koko's reply before sitting me down on my seat then leaning on my shoulder to fall back asleep? Which is a little over the top and stupidly protective but still it seemed to piss Luna off.

I tried to ignore her for the rest of the day, but I couldn't help but here the whispers about me. Damn maybe we went a little over board, if she avoids me now this would have all been for nothing, but as it turns out the opposite happened. At the end of last lesson she approached our table.

"Ichigo, may I speak with you, please" a polite Luna put me on edge from everything I have heard it doesn't seem like she does NICE, not only that but she is addressing by my first name, what is she plotting?

"Um, of cause Koizumi-san" better get this over with.

"Just, call me Luna, after all we are friends right." I don't like her smile she is surely plotting something, I had to stop my eyes from narrowing.

"Anyway I decided that, you can be part of my group, which comes with a lot of benefits" where is the but… what is she after… does she know who I really am…

"And since we are friend's maybe you can tell your brother about how cool it is to be around me… I mean us" she motioned towards that Sumari girl. Sigh I was expecting too much, she really is just an idiot, and is using me to get to my brother. But still this is my chance to get close to the moron.

End flashback

That was four months ago since I have celebrated my pretend 10th birthday - we moved our birthday to late winter, hoping that it would again decrease any suspicion on us – and have been subjected to more of Luna's crap than I can bare, honestly that girl needs a good slap in the face.

None the less I have found out some decent information, and it's not pleasant, so far it seems the Koizumi's are aiming to be the only Yakuza group in Japan so they are wiping out, setting up or merging the smaller groups. There is still no news on my father which is good to know, since it means that he is probably still alive, and that although us Yukihara's are in hiding they are still looking for our head which means they are treating us as their biggest threat, whatever the reason its win-win for me.

Being in Luna's clique is ridiculous she doesn't attend class, she sucks at anything remotely physical, and whenever her seductive ways fail (which is always) she resorts to trickery and her family name. To think my families greatest enemy, will one day belong to this, this insignificant girl.

It's disappointing. At least she gave up on Koko, it seems even she has a little pride, I guess three months of continuous insults and knockbacks will get to you at some point or another, although three months REALLY that girl has no shame, hell she is nothing more than the principles dog, stupid ignorant and obedient.

It's too bad she is a necessity to me right now, or I could kill her and end her pitiful life. But other than Luna, school is kind of… fun; unlike when I was in the village I have friends here, I'm not treated like an outcast and I don't have to pretend I'm a dunce either. Plus lessons here aren't so bad, well except those with Jin-Jin, he is an idiot that always thinks he is right, how any of these kids are meant to pass maths and get into middle school is a mystery to me.

Right now it's all about exam prep, the end of term tests are starting soon and even the kids here are trying to get the top spot, although its mainly because their parents are bribing them in some form or another, take my friends, their parents told them if they place within the top 10 of are year, Nonoko's been promised jewels of increasing value the closer she gets to the top spot – she had to promise not to use them in experiments though. – Same with the others (not the experiments to top spot stuff) horse for Anna, Kitsuneme's getting a guitar Mochu's drum's. Me however I'm aiming for the top for another reason, there is a gift for the students with the highest grades, and that's 2 weeks at home while school is still on, since this is an all year round boarding school with all the vicinities on site, well in central town, which is still part of the school, most kids don't even see their parents until graduation, they are put here and forgotten since if they were at home it might mean adjusting some of their busy schedules in order to take care of their children, I on the other hand can't wait to see Jii-san Koko feels the same, after all we dragged him along and then just left him, I feel so guilty and even if I get to write to him every day (he says that phones are ridiculous inventions and if it's not important enough to write down then there isn't a reason to say it at all) I somehow manage to get Koko to write a few words too - honestly I think being cool is going to his head, he is starting to remind me of Natsume, no don't think of Natsume that fox face, slanted eyebrows jerk always puts you in a bad mood happy thoughts Mikan happy thoughts… it's not working L … - where was I oh yeah, we are going to visit Jii-san, there is no doubt of us getting first place elementary school tests are so predictably easy, so I only have to make sure Koko doesn't get bored and fall asleep within the test. 5 days before the tests to go, then another week and I can see Jii-san.

I have already packed and somehow I have been able to get Luna to let me stay in all are classes, on the condition that I give her my notes after so she can make a copy, seems even she wants good grades, her dad promised to take her to every one of her favourite designer shops in Paris if she got high enough grades.

…

Well we did it not really much surprise but Koko and I got 100% in every test except Latin where we got 105% the extra mark came from when we corrected the test paper. So we are going home to see Jii-san 2 weeks of us being us, I get to see Koko be fun and we can spar and perfect our skills in different types of weaponry it's going to be bliss and the best thing of all no Luna and no spying I just get to be Mikan – well in the house after I check to make sure it hasn't been bugged, I get to be Mikan – my friends and Koko's gang saw us off from the gate, I had a list of things they want that even central town doesn't sell. Mainly they were items from tiny boutiques or a family run sweet shop, Koko's gang didn't give him a list, I think they were too scared to, so I found out if they wanted anything and added it to mine. Jii-san arrived in a black tinted windowed car; surprisingly it seemed he had decided to drive himself.

"Jii-san I missed you soooo much" I jumped into his open arms the moment he got out of the car, Koko gave him a brief nod before getting in, I followed. As we pulled away from the white wash walls that surrounded Gakuen Alice, I let out a sigh of relief, and promptly hit Koko on the head with as much force as I could muster, if he hadn't kept his training up, he would have been knocked out, either that or I have really let myself go, which I most definitely have not.

"OW MIKAN! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" he clutched his head and shouted at me.

"For being rude to Jii-san, and this is for saying my name in a place we haven't checked yet." I hit him again and he grumbled at me.

"Whatever, and sorry Jii-san, I have a rep to kept up hugging my grandpa in public would do serious damage to my street cred"

"Not as much damage as I will do to you face if you disrespect him again." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"HaHaHa how I missed you both" Jii-san chuckled from the front seat. I saw his wide grin reflexed in the windscreen, and immediately felt relaxed.

"Mikan, you have to promise, you won't let do anything spy-ish in the next two weeks… unless it's absolutely necessary and unavoidable" Koko turned on me all of a sudden with stern looking eyes.

"But, why, this is a good opportunity to sneak around their bases I know where many of them are already." He can't be serious, what is the point in wasting time I have to fix this as soon as possible before the Koizumi's succeed in taking over Japan.

"No, we are not braking into enemy territory without an alibi; if you want to check out their hideouts then we can sneak out of school at night. You need a break, when was the last time you just relaxed and had fun." Well that's easy to answer.

"Last week, when we all went to central town and pigged out on howalons" it was a glorious day, it's was still slightly cold but the howalon shop was having a competition to see who could eat the most fluff puffs. I won of cause with an all-time record of 83 fluff puffs, it almost brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. A hit on the head brought me back to reality.

"Buzz, wrong answer I said RELAXED, and you're never relaxed at school try again" he is right I wasn't relaxed I was mindful of my behaviour just in case I let out my full personality… I guess the last time I had fun without any pretence was the talent show all those years ago, it's always a big family event, where nearly all the members of the family get together to show off their brightest young talents, of cause that means that it's a who has the best aim, who is the strongest, and in the future who is likely to be at the top of the family, helping the head, and who is going to be used as an errand boy, but Hotaru was bored of that, after all it had, had the same results since we were eligible to enter at the age of 3, I was first Natsume a Close second and Hotaru third, then all the other members changing spots, some slide way down others surprised everyone and made it in the top 5, no like I said Hotaru didn't want to show off her spy skills that year since she was working on a major blackmail plan involving most of the heads and couldn't afford for them to cotton on just yet (naturally she didn't tell me that at the time, I found out way, way after so I acted under the assumption that 2 years with the same results, and a predictable third year just got to boring for her) instead she came up with a dance routine that she wanted us to learn and that this year we should enter as a team and surprise everyone, I agree straight away, it was a once in a life time opportunity, I knew if I turned it down she would never offer to do it again. We practise for 2 weeks non-stop even during meals she had us tapping the beat of the song on the table, I got to a point where I was dreaming that we were dancing… thinking back I didn't brood about my dad's situation or how I could find him at all in those weeks, maybe that was also a part of her goal… anyway I think that was the last time I truly had any fun.

By the time I had come to this conclusion we had reached to apartment, so I turned to Koko and said

"5 years, that's how long it's been since I just had fun, so your right I think I will treat this as a vacation of sorts… there is just one problem… I have never been on vacation.

So for the next two weeks Koko taught me how to have fun without thinking of the consequences, we went to a cinema and though popcorn at each other and at randoms, which got us kicked out halfway through the film, I tried more arcade games than I thought humanly possible, and after I told Koko about the talent show he introduced me to DDR and it turns out Hotaru borrowed quite a bit of our chorography from one of the extreme songs, every machine we beat the high score on we added a conjoined name of 'Ichiko', Jii-san would take us on picnic's and walks so we could spend time together, I asked him to play DDR with me but he said he was to old so I settled for the visits to different shines. At home we sparred and broke furniture, with the new weapons Jii-san had found and brought for us to try, by the end of each day I was too exhausted to even think about my-self-given mission.

By the time we were meant to go back to school I was more drained than when I left, I don't think Koko knows what R&R stands for. But I felt like I could take on whatever curve ball the world threw at me… boy did I over estimate, the shallow confidence that having fun can give you.

Sitting in the same car Jii-san had picked us up in I had one thing to do before I went back to being Ichigo.

"Koko, it's a little late, but I wanted to give you this, when this is all over, I will get one hand made for you, but for now I want you to have this." I handed him a gold chain with my mother's old wedding ring on it. "it's not much and one day I can get you a family crest which you can call your own for real, and it's pretty useless right now since all the Yukihara's are in hiding, but you never know if it will come in handy, Jii-san I want to give you one to, but you have to wait a little while, I clutched my own locket which still remained on my neck even if it is upside down. "Koko the crest is on the inside since my mother hated the family but was required to own and wear a crest she got it engraved into the ring, so that means you can still where it with fear of someone finding out… so will you accept my gift." He looked at me then pulled me into a hugged. The words

"About time too." Came out of his mouth. Which I took for acceptance.

"Mou, I'm sorry, but this was the first time I was able to find a gold chain that I thought would be strong enough so it would never come off" I said pushing away from his bear hug.

"Now come on or we will be late for class. Bye Jii-chan. We'll try and visit again as soon as possible." I kissed his check and jumped from the car.

"So after mid-terms then" Koko muttered and got out of his side. "See you soon old man" Koko gave him a brief nod of his head. I didn't mind this since Koko had said his true good byes earlier when we were still at home and safe from prying eyes. Jii-san Chuckled waved then drove away. I started to lift the bag of gifts from the floor before Koko took them off me with a quick look that was meant to say 'your weak remember' and we headed off to class. Back through the gates of hell!

"Good morning everyone did you miss us" I greeted the class when Koko opened the door for us, I didn't say it over excited or bouncy like I would have if I was being me, instead I let my voice squeak a little as I pretended it was hard for me to speak very loud.

"I have everything that everybody asked for including some stuff I thought you all might like. Well technically Koko is carrying it for me, as the bag ended up a bit heavier than I imagined, I let out my smile the same smile that I inherited from my dad, I figured it couldn't hurt since I hadn't seen anyone for a while I thought it would be an interesting way to greet them all.

The class was stunned into silence for a few seconds and I thought I saw two very familiar pairs of eyes open wide in slight shock, before chaos descended

"Ichigo your back, was the trip fun"

"Did you say extra gifts"

"Hey don't crowd her, I president of the Ichigo fan club should be the first to greet her"

"If Ichigo is here so is Koko"

"Boss your back"

"Koko-sama, Koko-sama, Koko-sama" – various fan girls

"Really where are the presents"

"Don't worry Ichigo we will save you" thank god that sounds like Anna and Nonoko, I just about saw them dive bomb through the crowd, but there were far too many people around me and I started to get dizzy I felt a strong arm pull me through the crowd, and when I turned to thank Koko, I was greeted by heart breaking eyes…

Eyes of the one person I sometimes dream about…

Eyes of someone who knows me so well, yet doesn't know me at all….

Eyes of the deepest crimson….

Natsume….