A/N: I hope you have all enjoyed the first chapter! Now Mello takes the stage, while I continue to not own Death Note.
XXX
University E Application Form
Name: sure as hell not telling you
Preferred name: Mello
DOB: 10 years earlier than yours (as in, you don't stand a chance with me, you lascivious old admissions officer! Plus, I'm already taken)
Citizenship: Germany, England, America, and Republic of Mello after I found it
Religion (optional): Catholicism. That should be mandatory.
Parental information:
Names: what names? I never knew the twits.
Occupations: child abandoners? How much does that pay, I wonder?
Education: look, who's applying to college, my parents or I? And way to rub in the fact that I don't have a normal family.
Class size: 43
Class rank: 2, damn it
Education interruption: please describe any unusual circumstances regarding your attendance at secondary school or other university
Did not graduate high school: left school to pursue Kira
Give a nonscientific reason for why the sky is blue: 50 words
God made it that way. Need I say more?
What would you do with a free afternoon? 50 words
This is a long and detailed process; take note:
Locate Matt.
Improve his attire by removing most of it.
Drag him to bed and [- -censored- -]
Write a note to your future roommate: 500 words.
Dear Matt,
I hope you've read what I wrote about a free afternoon, because that's the first thing we'll be doing when we move in.
I also really love you, and I hope you'll get into University E with me, because without you, I'll probably go batshit crazy (-ier than I already am, yeah) and then I'll get expelled and then I'll have filled out this damned form for nothing.
(Thank God Near's not applying to E. Not that any sane admissions officer would admit that white freak, unless he/she really is a lascivious old twerp as I discussed above.)
What are you majoring in? I'm planning to develop my own major, and it'll be an interdisciplinary field combining psychology, biology, kinesthetic studies, art, chemistry, technology, er… have I missed anything? Oh yes, and did I mention that it'll be called Matt: Studies of a Beloved Person? I think this'll be a great breakthrough in human studies at E; classes after us will be queuing up to enroll in this major.
Knowing you, you'll probably bury yourself in more computer science, though I don't see why, because you could probably teach all the comp sci classes here and write the curricula for more. Whereas my field is completely unprobed. Well, I can't say that, since I've been doing unofficial research on you in all the years we've known each other. But this time I'll have a sponsor and everything and I'll write this brilliant final dissertation on you that will blow the panel away. All with little to no effort on your part. You just have to sit around and be your normal self in your normal habitat.
Speaking of which, what kind of habitat are we getting at E? I haven't visited the campus, but I hope the rooms are adequate. When we get in, I'll probably have to put through a request for a room with especially thick walls. Preferably with a fire escape for you to smoke.
Anyways, what is one supposed say in this note to your roommate? I suppose the brilliant admissions committee came up with this ploy to get us to pour out our hearts and souls in some pathetic teenage attempt at philosophy. But I can think of tons of things we could do that would better express our feelings than a million words we could say. And that brings me back to my initial point.
Matt, stop looking over my shoulder. I'm going to finish typing this, and by the time I'm done, you'd better be in bed all ready for me, ok? This has got to be the sappiest letter I've ever written. But if it gets me into uni, it's fine. Love is all-powerful or something. Yeah all right, goodbye now. See you in about two minutes. Love,
Mello