A/N: Hi, thank you all again for reading this story! Here is the last chapter in this part. There will be some separate future one-shots coming soon that are really sweet and have a lot of Santana/Max cuteness.
It was coming on dinnertime when Brittany got back from her walk and Santana and Max woke up. On the walk home Santana ran into a large home-goods store, telling Brittany to wait outside for her. Ten minutes later an out of breath Santana came hurrying out of the store carrying a newly purchased bassinet. Brittany just stared at her, shaking her head. For dinner, Santana and Brittany agreed on a small Italian restaurant not far from the apartment for dinner, first stopping at home to drop off their things.
The restaurant was very small, no more than ten tables, darkly lit and romantic. They got a table in the back corner with a high chair for Max. Brittany ordered the spaghetti and meatballs, Santana the pasta with vodka sauce and Max had the special: teething biscuits. They made small talk waiting for their food to come, Santana about work and Brittany mostly about Max.
Out of nowhere Brittany blurted out, "I don't know who the father is."
"I won't judge you or anything Britt, you know that," Santana reached over and placed her hand over Brittany's.
"I know you won't. But other people have and do and always will. I just don't want Max to be made fun of...like we were," Brittany cried. Santana moved her chair around the table next to Brittany and pulled her in for a hug.
"It's ok Britt, no one will ever make fun of him. I'll make sure of it. You know that," Santana whispered in Brittany's ear soothingly. "You don't have to tell me the whole story. I would like to know at some point but whenever you are ready I am here," Santana rubbed Brittany's back and felt the crying subside.
Brittany looked up with tear stained cheeks, "I know you were always there, even when you weren't," Brittany started sobbing again, which made Santana's heart want to jump right out of her chest.
"I know, I know Britt. I used to tell Quinn that even though you and I were apart physically, it didn't really matter we were always together. It's true you know, I carried you with me every second," Santana was now the one crying much to the dismay of their accidentally imposing waiter.
Santana gave him a look that could only be interpreted as "put the food down and walk away as fast as you can before I end you." Directions, which the waiter followed perfectly.
Once alone again Santana wiped Brittany's tears with her napkin and motioned for her to eat. They sat next to each other hand in hand eating their meal in silence, interrupted only by the occasional giggle from Max.
Not wanting to leave just yet after their main dishes were finished, they ordered dessert and continued talking. Santana filled Brittany in on Quinn, Rachel and Puck. Brittany kept talking about Max.
"His middle name is Sol. Max Sol Pierce."
"I like that, Sun. He is very bright." Santana looked lovingly over at Max.
"Yeah, he is. But his middle name also starts with an S and it's in Spanish." Brittany hinted.
"Yes I know that Britt, you are being weird." Santana shook her head and took another bite of the chocolate cake they were sharing.
"No Santana. I named him after someone whose first name starts with an S and whose middle name starts with an M. His initials are the opposite of that person," Brittany spoke slowly and deliberately.
"You named him after someone whose first and middle initials are S.M...oh." It finally clicked in Santana's mind what Brittany was trying to tell her. "You, you named him after me?" Santana asked evenly, unsure of what to call the emotion she was feeling.
"Yes."
"Britt, you named your son after me?" Santana heard what Brittany had said but it wasn't quiet registering. Santana still couldn't place the emotion she was feeling, she had never felt this before. It wasn't happiness; not even elation. It wasn't joy nor was it necessarily pride. It was indescribable. She felt light headed and dizzy, yet her heart felt heavy with love and this unnamed emotion.
"I...I don't know what to say Britt. I am honored. I can't believe it. He is named after me? That's really heavy." Santana started to come out of her cloud. "Thank you so much Britt, this means more than you can imagine."
"You are the two most important people in my life, my life revolves around his and yours, like the sun." Brittany stated matter-of-factly.
They ate the rest of their dessert in silence, Santana staring at Max as if seeing him differently now.
Back at the apartment after dinner a very determined Santana got to work putting the bassinet together while Brittany fed Max. After all the bolts were tightened Santana fake fist bumped Max and put him in his new bed gently placing his duck next to him.
"I don't know who the father is because I was in a really rough time in my life and I was being foolish and dangerous and sleeping with a lot of people. I stayed in Arizona after school, after we broke up. I got a really great job as an administrator for the Phoenix school systems music and dance department," Brittany said, her voice cracking, "but because of budget cuts, they had to let me go, I was lonely, I was tired, I was sad, I was just in a bad place. I had no one in Arizona and I didn't really have a reason to go back to Ohio. I started to drink a lot, which meant I was at bars a lot. I got picked up most nights and didn't care who I went home with or where they were taking me. I wasn't myself, I don't know who I was. I was on autopilot. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I stayed in Arizona for a couple more months after Max was born, I had an ok severance package from work and some savings. I finally realized there was nothing there for Max and me anymore so I came here. I just flew here, got a hotel room and have been looking for work. I was walking around looking for a grocery store that night in the rain. When I looked into the diner and saw you sitting there, I couldn't believe it was you. I figured you stayed in New York after school but I wasn't sure. I don't really speak to anyone anymore. Quinn calls me every once in awhile but I don't pick up, she leaves nice voice mails though. I just wanted you to know. I'm totally sober now by the way, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped being destructive," Brittany finally stopped after what felt like hours to Santana.
"Britt," was all Santana could get out as she slowly turned around to face Brittany. She didn't know what to say. She just pulled Brittany in for another hug and thanked her for sharing the story.
Brittany pulled back, "every day for the last ten years I thought about you. When I was working, when I was shopping, eating, cleaning, and breathing. When I was drinking, your face was the only clear thought I had, when I was laying under countless other bodies, yours was the only one I was thinking about," Brittany poured onto Santana, "I swear San, I swear."
Santana could do nothing but nod, she finally opened her mouth to say all of that back when she felt Brittany lunge at her, attacking Santana's mouth with her own.
"Brittany, Brittany stop," Santana managed to get out while pushing Brittany off of her. Santana jumped to her feet, a little turned on and a lot confused. "Britt, we can't do this. I can't do this."
"Why not?" Brittany moved in towards Santana again.
"Britt, stop. You can't kiss me!" Santana yelled, "If you kiss me this is real and I don't know if I can handle this being real. Let's not kid ourselves, we've essentially been playing house for the past few days and while it's been amazing it's not real. This isn't how it's always going to be. I love you Brittany and I don't know how it's possible but I love Max and I can't keep playing games." Santana was out of breath, all of her emotions showing on her face at once; love, anger, sadness, regret, fear.
"We aren't playing San. This is real to us. I love you and Max loves you, why can't we make this work?" Brittany pleaded.
"Do you know what I went through the past ten years?" Santana yelled, "I know you had a hard time. I know you did, but I've been doing nothing. Nothing. I don't have friends or any semblance of a social life. I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks after you told me you couldn't handle the distance. After we broke up; after you broke up with me I threw myself into school. Do you know what I do for a living? I don't even really know what I do. I make a shit-load of money that I don't spend. I sit alone in a room all day. I hate my life. And then you just waltz in and make everything better! You made everything better and I am supposed to just accept that. I am supposed to just be happy now. After being miserable for ten years. Just because you want back in my life?" Santana finally stopped yelling when she heard Max cry.
Both Santana and Brittany ran over to his bassinet. "Just please stop yelling, you're scaring him," Brittany whispered to Santana.
Santana stepped back, "don't you say that," she hissed. "I did not scare him, don't you dare say that." Santana leaned back down to Max waving his duck and making soft cooing sounds. He calmed down and fell back to sleep.
She looked over a Brittany's tear streaked face. "I'm sorry Britt, I just feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know if I can do this."
"Santana, I know you suffered. I didn't know how much but I knew you were. I'm sorry. I never meant for this all to happen. I just couldn't deal with being away from you during college and I made a mistake by breaking things off. I should have tried harder to find you after college but you wouldn't return any of my calls or letters. I didn't know what to do so I moved on, physically at least. But we are working now. Why can't you put the past behind you and look at the present?" Brittany pleaded, walking closer to Santana who moved further away.
"Because these past couple of days made me realize that I need you in my life. I can't lose you again, I can't do that again. I am terrified of losing you again. I can't go back to how I was two days ago. I knew I was unhappy but being with you again made me see how happy I can be and I can not go back," Santana's body violently shaking from the force of her sobs. This time when Brittany moved closer Santana let her body be brought in to strong pale arms. They stood like that for a few minutes, Santana shuttering with tears wrapped in Brittany's arms.
"I promise I won't leave again. I swear." Brittany whispered into Santana's ear. "I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you and myself, but I promise if you will let me stay I will stay forever."
Santana pushed back from Brittany's arms, "I should have taken the next flight to Arizona to get you back but you hurt me so badly Britt. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to come after you."
"None of this is your fault. Please let me fix it," Brittany clasped her hands together as if in prayer. Santana collapsed into Brittany's arms again, the emotional high of the last few minutes finally taking their toll on her long abused mind. "Come on San, let's go to bed." Brittany guided Santana into the bed. Santana immediately curled into a ball, Brittany enveloping her from behind.
Right before falling into a deep sleep Santana realized that it hadn't rained in two days.
Santana woke up in bed a few hours later cold and alone. From under the bedroom door she could see a small sliver of light coming from the living room, she tip toed to the door and opened it just a crack. She could see the side of Brittany feeding a sleepy Max. She stood there like that for a few minutes before seeing Brittany get up to put a sleeping Max back in his bassinet.
"You know Maxy, she really does love us she just has a hard time dealing with her feelings sometimes." Brittany whispered to Max. "Remember when you were in my tummy I used to tell you about her. I used to tell you all the songs she would sing to me. She's going to do that again, I promise."
Santana was standing in her bedroom listening to Brittany talk to Max. She realized she was standing in the middle of one of those moments, those life changing, find out who you truly are moments. She took a step back towards the bed, took a deep breath and confidently walked through the bedroom door into the living room.
"I love you." Santana practically yelled.
Brittany, whose back was towards Santana slowly turned around, almost afraid to spook Santana and make her run away.
"Is that enough for you?" Brittany asked, scared of saying the wrong thing and turning the progress around.
"Yes. It is and it has always been. Move in here with me, both of you. Let's start our life again. I am not losing you again." Santana stood still waiting for a response, her breath loud in her ears.
"Ok, but on one condition." Brittany threatened as she put Max back in his bassinet, "you make me pancakes at least once a month." Brittany giggled and jumped into Santana's arms.
"Come on, let's go to bed. We will go to hotel tomorrow and get the rest of your things." Santana took Brittany's hand and led her back to their bed.